7. Ever videotape yourself having sex?
DC: I tried to film myself masturbating once, but the sound guy was non-union and got pulled at the last minute.
8. What's your favorite sexual act?
DC: I like all of it in a non-stop parade of tactile pleasures. Oral sex, for me, is a two-way street. I love to give and receive. And although my side of the street is a toll road, the moneys collected go right back into maintenance.
9. Are you into one-night stands?
DC: I am definitely not into one-night stands. I've had a couple of them and they usually suck. I feel stupid the next morning and if I'm at her place I leave as soon as I can. Well, after quietly stealing something. Usually a cat. Or I try to get her to leave my place if that's where we ended up. I guess I don't like one-night stands because, although it's initially thrilling, as soon as I come, and I mean instantly, I start to regret it, and then feel very self-conscious about every corny, trite thing that leaves my mouth. You can't help but say the stupidest shit to someone you've only known for a couple of hours and just fucked.
10. What's the best time of day to have sex?
DC: Any time except 4:20. Get it? That's the funny time to get high!
11. Are you good in bed?
DC: Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I only got really, really extra-level good fairly recently. I had a sexual awakening in my early 30s that changed everything for the better. I now teach a course on how to be a wonderful lover at the Learning Annex at the New School on Sunday nights. The phrase "wonderful lover" sounds so new age-y, so hippie. I hate those two words when they're next to each other like that. It's queer.
12. What's better than sex?
DC: In no particular order: chocolate, Garfield posters, girls' night at Chili's, the new Sting CD, watching and then talking about Survivor, and Yankee candles. Oh wait, I'm sorry, for a second there I thought I was a sexually frustrated Christian wife from the suburbs...sorry about that.
