Yes, bigger is better -- just like with plasma TVs and bank accounts.

 Science shows, too much just goes to waste.

 Surveys show women prefer very small penises and adult men
who still live with their moms.

 Yes, but only if you drink in moderation.

 We need to test this further, and we are looking for liquor sponsors
and supermodels for the study.

 No, studies on monkeys showed alcohol intake leads to two-pump chimps.

 Women get turned on by porn almost as quickly as men.

 They are, but only by porn involving pool guys or pizza delivery men.

 No, a study showed women were turned on by Titanic, not
Debbie Does Dallas.