Tonight's the Night

Tips for First-Time Sex

By Brent Turnbull

Oh boy. You're pretty sure tonight's the night. It's the first time with your new flame, so you want to impress. Maybe you'll try out Kama Sutra move No. 23 or get into some dirty talk. But, wait, is that too much too fast? Maybe it's better to play it cool and reserved. But you don't want to turn them off or come across as aloof. Not to worry, first-time sex should be great -- just follow a few basic rules.

Ommmm

Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. It's easy to get wound up about first-time sex with a new girl. Approaching it as a make-or-break event creates unnecessary pressure for you. This can make you even more nervous and adversely affect your performance and enjoyment. Let your tension go and relax. Remember: It's her first time with you, too, so you are likely not alone in your anxiety.

Delight Your Senses

Soothe your nerves by setting a romantic mood. Try appealing to all five senses. Ensure that you have your cleanest and most comfy sheets and cushions on the bed. Give the room a romantic glow with low lighting and candlelight (this highly flattering light has the additional benefit of making you both more comfortable about shedding layers). And, of course, enhance the mood with some romantic tunes.

Clean Up

It seems obvious, but don't cut back here. Shower, shave, wax, clip, moisturize, powder and brush anything that needs it. This kind of prepping shows respect for the other person and makes sex more enjoyable for you both. And it helps boost confidence. Even if you shave in the morning, shave again before the date. Even a trace of stubble can feel like sandpaper on her sensitive bits.

Take it Slow

Don't be tempted to rush into the main event. Slow down and let yourselves explore each other. You are literally mapping out your new partner's body and she will be very forgiving of your trial and error (especially if you talk about it as you go). Don't be afraid to ask how she likes to be pleasured; after all, everyone finds pleasure in unique ways. And try to keep it simple the first time. Unless you already know for sure that your partner is into acrobatic sex, it's best to wait until later to pull out the climbing ropes. You'll have plenty of time to explore more exotic sex later. Right now, just enjoy the discovery.

Laugh All the Way to the Climax

Don't take yourselves too seriously. Sex should be fun. It's normal for the first time to be a little awkward: You'll need time to adjust to each other's styles, so there will likely be nose bonking and sheet entanglements and slipping from places you shouldn't slip. Looking into each other's eyes and laughing will make these accidents seem minor and bring you closer together. Laughter also fights the tension that we know can lead to nervousness.

No Performance Reviews

Resist the urge to ask how you did afterwards. If you talked about pleasure spots and preferences while in the act, you shouldn't need to probe further. Great sex often doesn't happen the first time with someone new, so instead of worrying about how it went, trust that practice (lots of it) will make perfect.