Wrangling the Wingman

Use the buddy system when you're out to meet girls

By Ambrose Diaz

When you're a man on the prowl and flying solo, it can be easy to get shot down in your efforts to meet sexy single women.

Enter the person who's going to take some of the heat for you, distract the defenses and try to make sure you at least get a sporting chance. Enter the wingman.

The wingman is your cruising brother-in-arms. He must make sure that you get a decent chance at scoring with the object of your affection.

He'll run interference if someone else is going for the same woman. He'll distract any of your target's friends who may be getting in the way. He'll gather intelligence on her from her friends so you have some good inside information. He'll keep you presentable, give you a pep talk if you need it, talk about you in glowing terms, know when to take a back seat and make himself scarce; and even sacrifice himself to awkward friends just so you can get the girl.

It's like the wingman in hockey. The website www.hockey.com says: "It's the winger's job on an offensive draw to give your team time to get a shot on net." So, there you have it -- a wingman helps you score.

In fact, the wingman can be found beyond the human animal altogether. Emily DuVal, of UC Berkeley's Museum of Vertebrate Zoology, studied birds called lance-tailed manakins. The males of this species actually work together in order to attract prospective mates. DuVal implies a sort of apprenticeship where the beta male helps the alpha male find a mate, all the while "gaining courtship skills" and then "forming alliances with other males who later act as their betas."

Naturally, using a wingman doesn't guarantee that you're going to get the prize. Perhaps it's time to change things up. As blogger Terry Ng notes on lifestyle and entertainment website www.Kineda.com, women have "grown wise to the game over the years, and have developed reactive strategies to counteract our wingman's pickup mission. Having a wingwoman will be like owning your own stealth fighter that flies under the radar."

It's a simple but elegant idea. When a man uses a wingwoman, he looks less like a prowling animal and more like a sensitive guy who knows how to be friends with a lady first. Also, it's much less transparent when a woman breaks the ice on your behalf or even suggests that you both sit down with the girl who catches your eye. She is more at ease because she doesn't see you as a threat, but you're still in the game.

Of course, you don't have to pay to use a wingwoman. A good guy friend or co-worker often will work just as well. In either case, using a lance-tailed manakin is definitely not recommended.