PREVIOUS QUESTIONS:

Should I consider mediation when I go through a divorce?

How much does a divorce cost?

Can I date during my divorce?

I am not married but want to buy a house with my girlfriend and share expenses while we live together. What can I do to protect myself in the event we break up?

What is alimony or maintenance? Is there a difference?

I'm currently going through a divorce and I think my assigned judge is favoring my wife way too much. Is there any way I can switch judges?

How do I find a good divorce lawyer?

Do divorce laws differ from state to state?

How long does a divorce take?

I am engaged to be married. All my friends keep telling me I should insist on a prenuptial agreement but I am unsure and do not want to risk losing my fiancée. What do you recommend?

I have been dating a woman on and off for a few years and she became pregnant and recently gave birth to a baby boy. She claims the baby is mine. I went to the hospital and the nurse handed me some papers to sign. The baby looks just like me, and I was wondering if I should just sign the paperwork.

I have only been married for two years but I am already bored with my wife and believe she only married me for my money. I am not sure if I am just going through a phase and want to end my marriage. When is the right time to hire a divorce lawyer?

I am unhappily married with two children. My wife wants to go back to work now that the children are in grade school but I am opposed to having a nanny care for my kids. I eventually want to get a divorce but want to wait until my kids are in high school. Are there any benefits to my wife working right now?

I have been married for 20 years and just started an affair with this woman I met at a party. I am head over heels for this woman and not thinking clearly. I love my wife and I am not sure I want to end my marriage. Do you have any simple tips for me?

My wife and I lived in California. My wife, with her money, bought our house there. We sold the house, moved to Illinois and bought a new house here in Illinois. I say that our new house is half mine and half hers, because the money to buy it was community property. She says that the house is non-marital and it is all hers. Who is right?

My wife took off to Texas in August (worst part is she took my dog)! For months she has lied to me that she is coming back. The van she has is in my name and I have been making payments on it. Also, she had me send her money for other expenses -- and of course for gas -- so she could come back! This sucker wants to know, does Texas have a six-month period that maybe she has been trying to reach so she can file there? Should I quickly file in Illinois? What, if anything, should I do about the van?

I am dating someone who is separated from her husband for about 10 months and wants to get a divorce but can't afford it. So, just a few days ago, she said she is going to begin that process, but is afraid that her husband will not sign any documents to get a divorce. Can he do that? She wants to move on with her life and we would like to be happy without him saying to me that she is still his wife. What can she do?

I think my wife is cheating on me. Should I hire a private investigator to follow her?

I think this whole situation with Britney Spears and Kevin Federline is so sad. Is there any way that Britney will be able to see her kids again? Also, will she be able to get custody of the kids back?

After 30 years of an unhappy marriage, the love of my life returned. We clicked instantly and picked up right where we left off 30 years ago. I have never been in love with a woman like this before and fear I never will again. I want to get divorced. However, I am not a spring chicken anymore and I am worried about losing the financial security that I have worked so hard for over the years. Do I follow my heart and regret it the rest of my life or do I follow my head and be more concerned about my retirement?

Once a couple works through the emotions of a separation and begins planning the process of divorce, what resources -- professional expertise or Internet research -- do you recommend on the financial aspects of the divorce? There's the division of assets, the alimony or child support, retirement plans to divide up -- a whole host of "dollar details" to have to work through.

My wife of 33 years told me she doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be with me. She also said she wants a separation but no divorce. What is the logic here? I'm 70, retired, and I was diagnosed with prostate cancer two years ago. My wife is 13 years younger. I don't think there's another man involved, but maybe another woman! Should I insist on a divorce once she gets out of the house? Yeah, we're still in the same house -- waiting to sell a condo so we can buy her a place to live. Care to move to Florida and represent me?

I have recently started dating a married, soon-to-be-divorced man. What future financial options are available to his wife after signing? Can she come back into the financial picture?

My fiancé wants to have a prenup and as much as I am not happy about it, I may agree to go along with it. He told me I need to hire my own attorney to represent me or it could be declared invalid. Is that true and, if so, how much should I expect to spend on legal fees?

I've been dating my boyfriend off and on for five years. There have been times when he would say we should get married, but he has never acted on it. I never pushed the issue. When we have our breakups, I miss him badly and I know this is the person I want to be with. I have tried dating. What do you think I need to do to show him that I really want to be with him? Or does he even want to be with me?

Is there a version of the prenup for couples who just want to live together?

My friend's son has been married for 12 years and his wife just told him that their eight-year-old son is not his. I really could use your help because my friend is really very concerned. She loves her grandson dearly and yet she does not understand how this news may affect her family. What are the legal ramifications of the paternity issues on the inheritance and visitation of the grandparents and, of course, the dad?

My child is 18 years old and is now in college. He needs continued child support from the non-custodial parent. Child Support has closed his case because he is 18 years old. Do I need an attorney to take the non-custodial parent back to court to obtain continued child support?

What is the biggest mistake you see guys make regarding divorce?

Does it often happen where the wife is made to leave the house? My money went to the down payment, and I have been paying the mortgage for years.

Hillary Clinton is all over the news since she's running for President, and I'm wondering if you think Hillary should've stayed with Bill Clinton after his numerous affairs, or if she should have divorced him.

What would be the legal and practical issues involved with asking my wife to sign a prenuptial agreement after we have already been married?

I have been married for over 20 years and have two young children. I am very unhappy and have just returned back to work now that my kids are school age. What should I have in place prior to filing for divorce? My husband and I do own a home and I cannot afford the payment alone, but may be able to handle it with child support. But I do not want to depend on it. I do fear my husband's reaction once I do file for divorce. I want to know what I can do to be proactive. I do love my husband but he is emotionally problematic, just plain crazy and not worth dying for. I want to get out before my kids or self become harmed.

I have been married for 11 years and have one daughter. My wife found out that I had an affair three years ago but stayed with me to try to work things out. If I file for divorce, does the fact that it happened three years ago help or hurt my case?

My wife is planning to file. I can't afford a lawyer so I could use any or all advice. For the last three years, I was the sole provider -- for the most part working "eight days a week" as I called it. She went nutso, even as far as being admitted in the loony ward for thinking she was going to commit suicide. Now she is on who knows how many or what kind of antidepressants. There are two children involved and I will have to give child support -- and I'm willing to do so -- but I don't make a lot of money. I'm trying to be civil with her so we can have a happy medium with the kids with joint custody. But now she is asking for more, since I do side work and don't claim it on our income tax, and she's threatening with turning me in. My question is how far can I push the mental state as far as her being a stable mom and her tax issues? I rather it be peaceful, but you don't know women until you see them in court.

My ex- has been dragging our divorce out for two years. We have a property settlement and I have paid her lawyer $2000 to date. She stills owes her lawyer $1500 and she is a pathological liar. Her lawyer can't tell me anything, but I get a feeling she wants her money. I don't want to scrap the whole thing and start over. How can I make her finish what we started? I can't withhold anything, and our daughter lives with me because she has had enough of her too. Any way of getting her moving?

I have been thinking about having more kids. I already have one which resulted in a crazy custody case. He lives with me now and I was thinking about having some siblings for him. I have been dating an 11-year-younger woman who is ready for kids and shows a lot of attention to my son. What do you think? Should I just keep what I have and forget about the rest, or take a chance and see what happens? I just don't want to get married.

I am married with three young children (all under the age of five). My wife is a stay-at-home mom and we haven't had sex in over a year, since the twins were born. I recently started a relationship with my business partner and she has just told me that she's pregnant, the baby is mine and that she's going to tell my wife about our affair if I don't pay her a certain amount of support every month. What are my options?

I'm a divorced man with three adult children and am thinking of getting married again. My girlfriend is significantly younger and has two young kids. She keeps telling me that she wants me to adopt her kids (their dad died), but I'm not sure I want that responsibility. If I adopt the kids, and we get divorced, do I have to support her kids, even though they aren't mine biologically?

My wife and I are every bit in love. We have a hot and steamy sex life. We are both voyeurs. We have been discussing entering the swinging lifestyle as we are both aroused watching each other with someone else. Have you seen strong marriages go south due to an attempt at enhancing an already wonderful sex life in this manner?

I am sick and tired of reading about Britney Spears and K-Fed, and the problems that they have with regard to the custody of their children. Can a judge take the children from both of them and give them to a family that would actually care for them?

I got married to a woman overseas, in India, and we never filed for a marriage license in the U.S. I am an American citizen and she now has a green card. We've lived in the U.S. for the past three years and are unfortunately considering a divorce. Do we have to file in the U.S. or in the country in which we were married?

My wife and I are in the middle of a bad divorce. We were married for 22 years and have twin boys who are 16-years-old. My wife keeps telling me that when the divorce is final, I'm going to have to pay child support and my kids' college educations. Is that right?

I have been divorced for 15 years. My ex-wife and I share custody of our two children. She is the primary care parent, and I pay her child support...

Now that K-Fed has custody of his kids with Britney, will Britney have to pay him child support? I'd love it if my ex-wife had to pay me child support!

I have been divorced for quite some time now. We have no custody agreement with our 10-year-old son. He has been living with his mom the whole time while I was paying child support -- $39 of the $120 weekly was for child care. He has been in school full-time for a while (he's now in 4th grade) and has not gone to day care in three years, even though I'm paying for it. I have told her this, but she just says she would get the money anyway. What should I do?

My wife has signed off on the homestead rights more than one time. Is she still entitled to part of the house in the case of a divorce?

I am in a sticky situation. When we broke off our engagement, my ex-fiancé left Colorado and took our two-year-old daughter with her to Ohio. People have told me that I don't have the same rights to keep them in Colorado (i.e. signing the papers to let her take our daughter out of state) since we were never married. To make matters worse, she is a legal secretary at a major Ohio law firm and has started seeing one of the attorneys there. She insists she is not moving back to Colorado anytime soon. I voluntarily make child support payments every month to her and have gone to Ohio four times to visit my daughter since they left in November 2006. What can I do?

I do not have any of my accounts with my wife's name on them. How much leverage does this give me if we get divorced?

Tom Brady had a baby with his actress ex-girlfriend that he dated before Giselle, but I haven't heard anything about him paying his ex child support. If Tom lives in Massachusetts and his ex lives in California, which child support rules apply? Also, can his ex get more child support if Tom never sees his kid?

I'm going through divorce, and I have been paying for everything at the house. Then I gave her a check for $1200. I went through records and I found out I was paying too much, so I dropped the payment to $880 a month. Now she won't let me see my son and she has been holding him out of school so I won't get him. I have no intentions of kidnapping him. There has been no ruling by judge. I just fired my attorney. What can I do to get my son out of the middle of this?

I have a girlfriend in Nigeria. She is an American citizen and wants to be with me. The hold-up is that the American Embassy wants her to post $2500 for a BTA before allowing her to leave the country. I am having a hard time raising the money. What else can I do to get her here?

Currently I am preparing to file for a divorce against my wife. Over the summer, I learned she had been cheating on me because I am always gone on business trips. We have three kids, and she does work as well. I just took a new position in my company that leaves me sitting at home full time. So I am home with the kids. Will this affair she is going through help me gain custody of my kids?

I know custodial issues can't be covered by a prenup, but can an agreement to not pay alimony or maintenance be covered by a prenup?

I am married and had a question about personal debt. I have a mortgage in my name along with credit cards with a balance. If something unfortunate happens to me, would my wife assume my debt even if these are in my name?

I am 38 years old and my girlfriend is 29. I am totally in love with her and want her to move in with me. I own my own home, and she is refusing until I put her name on the title to my house. I keep telling her that it's not necessary, that I love her and want to live with her. What should I do? If I put her on title to my house and we break up, will she get half of my house?

I just started seeing a woman and I think that she could be the one! We just click and things are going so well (we've been seeing each other for about two months). I'm ready to ask her to move in with me and get married, but all of my friends tell me I should wait longer -- what do you think?

Heath Ledger had a daughter with actress Michelle Williams. I read that Heath's will left his entire estate to his daughter. Will Michelle get that money since their daughter is only two years old, or will the daughter get the money right away?

I know that Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are finally divorced, and that their two daughters live with Denise. I read that Denise is going to do a reality show that features her and the two children. Charlie tried to go to court to stop the reality show, but did not win. Can Charlie use this as a basis to get custody of his daughters? Also, what do you think of Denise's decision to do a reality show with her two daughters who are very young?

Brad and Angelina are having yet another kid (or two if magazine reports are right), and he adopted her three kids and they have biological kids together. If they break up, is Brad financially responsible for the adopted kids and what are Brad's financial obligations going to be to Angie for the kids?

A divorced female divorce attorney friend of mine from Denver is a pretty, very fit woman in her 40s with a killer body. Unlike you, she dresses like a refuge one day and like a Palm Beach grandma another. What can be said to her to get her to clean out the closet and hit the stores on Rodeo Drive? Attorneys seem to play the conservative role but do they all wear pantyhose? Help me help her!

I have retired from a city job and receive a pension. I am currently working full-time again at a job that does not provide a second pension. I have been married for 21 years. How do I salvage some part of my pension, and is she entitled to any money I am currently making? I own a home and my wife doesn't work due to a debilitating illness. I have one child starting college this fall.

First off, I love the pictures and your column. I am in the process of a divorce and have been seeing someone else for quite some time. My wife and I have three kids who live with her. I see the kids every day after school and on alternating weekends right now. Before our separation, my wife and I enjoyed the swinging lifestyle, which is how I actually met my new girlfriend. Now my wife is threatening to expose our swinging history to the court and take my kids away from me, unless I agree to give her everything. Can she do this? Will the judge take my kids away from me?

I know someone who is married and they are having problems due to the wife's constant mood and personality swings. I advised him that filing for divorce and getting custody of the kids is hard to win against the mother, unless she is unfit. Would he have a leg to stand on if it is pursued? He loves his kids and was wondering if there was any chance he would get custody.

My new guy and I have been dating for about four months and finally decided to take it into the bedroom (so far, we've only done oral). The first time we were going to have sex, we were making out, having a great time, he was hard, and when he went to put the condom on, he lost his erection. I thought maybe it was just nerves since it was the first time that we were going to be together, so we fooled around a little more and called it a night. Since then, we have tried to have sex at least 15 other times, and every single time we try to put the condom on, whether it's him or me, he loses his hard-on. He says that this has happened with other women, but I'm afraid it may be me. What makes it worse is that every time it happens, my boyfriend is in a bad mood and then we end up fighting for a few days. I care about him deeply, and while sex isn't the only thing that matters in a relationship, it does matter to me. What do you think I should do?

Corri, I've been dating this girl for about three months. She's kind of a whack job and the night I was going to break up with her, she told me that she's pregnant and the kid is mine. Interestingly, she told me she is on the pill and I've used condoms every single time that we have had sex. I already read your advice about not signing any paperwork at the hospital and needing to get a DNA test and I'm going to do that. But if the child is mine, I don't know that I want my girlfriend to raise the kid. What can I do to protect my rights and my kid in this situation?

I have been seeing a man -- I'll call him Dick -- for nearly one year now. When Dick and I first became involved, he told me upfront that he did not want a relationship. I told him that I did not want just a sexual relationship with him and that I was fine just being friends with him and that I really like just being friends with him. After about two weeks of being "just friends," Dick told me that he was willing to try working at a relationship. Dick and I started seeing each other romantically, and would get together about once a week. Every time Dick and I get too close, he shuts me out and pushes me away. Am I a fool for staying in this relationship? I feel so awful when he pushes me out, but when we are together and things are going well, they are so great.

I just read that Pink and her husband are splitting up. When they get divorced, will he get royalties from songs that she recorded during their marriage? That just does not seem fair.

My wife has informed me that she no longer is in love with me and hasn't been for quite some time. Up until the day she told me this we did everything together. I was blown away! She started a new job seven months earlier and I found out she was having an affair with her boss. Since I did not want to move out of our home, she left and rented her own place and we basically split time with our children. I went to counseling and asked her to go with but she refused. I didn't want this and really wanted our marriage to work. Since she left several months ago, she has done so many things to make me realize that I do not want to be with her again. I want shared custody and I don't want to lose half of my pension, or pay her much of anything. I know "Life is short," and fine, she wants a divorce. Why do I have to suffer financially for something only she wanted? This whole thing has been an emotional nightmare! She makes about a third of what I make.

You hear all the time about celebrities and athletes who have children by several different women. Will a judge take that into consideration and lower his child support for each kid because he has other children to support?

While I would like to consider myself wise beyond my years, my track record in the relationship department is not about to win me a Nobel Prize. Specifically, I seem to attract women who love me for my generous heart. While you would think this would not otherwise be a problem, I continue to strive to find the perfect woman -- a woman who possesses not just an outer beauty but an inner goodness as well. As you can probably imagine, the result of this game plan is an inordinate amount of broken and angry hearts who then take it upon themselves to turn my goodness into a lifelong annuity. Any suggestions for how to protect my "ass-ets" from this flawed lifestyle?

My wife and I are thinking of getting divorced. We've been married about 35 years. During our marriage, I strayed and cheated a couple of times, all of which she knows about. We always got back together and were able to work things out. But now that our kids are grown and out of college, I'm ready to dump her and move on. Can a judge use it against me if I cheated on my wife 15 years ago and punish me by making me pay more money now?

I was trying out match.com last summer and met a guy online. We went out a few times and really hit it off! There was great sexual chemistry, we bantered well together and enjoyed the same things in life. We would text message often, talk on the phone and e-mail. Then, out of nowhere, he stops contacting me. I didn't hear from him for several months, and now he is back in my life. He sent me a few e-mails and text messages and just left me a voicemail message saying he wants to get together. What should I do? I really enjoyed our time together, but I don't know if I trust him right now.

Huge fan of yours. Prior to my wife and I getting married, we purchased a dog together, who I will refer to as "Rover." Rover has been a steadfast and loyal pet. We've been together about eight years. We start our days together with a nice long run, enjoy some quality cuddle time at night and even eat dinner together. Well, the bitch wife has up and left (fine by me), but now she's filed a motion in our divorce case to get the dog. Can she do that? She has never once taken care of the dog -- I have always taken the dog for walks and runs, to the vet and went to four different doggie obedience schools with him. Please tell me this bitch cannot get my bitch!

My fiancé doesn't like to have sex. What can I do to change his mind?

My ex-husband and I had a nasty divorce. Currently we are having a dispute over medical expenses for our children. I say he should contribute to them but he says that he already pays me child support and that whatever is not covered by his insurance is my problem. Is he right?

In one of your advertisements you are dressed as a dominatrix. Do you feel maintaining roles such as submissive and dom/domme in a relationship can be either helpful or hurtful to the long-term health of the relationship?

Pamela Anderson just filed for an annulment of her marriage to Rick Solomon and cited "fraud" as the reason. But she already filed for a divorce a few months ago. Can she get an annulment of the marriage if she already filed for divorce? What is an annulment?

I am thinking about getting a divorce. My husband has some photos and videos of me/us that he has threatened to send to our friends and family if I go through with it. They are fairly explicit and I don't want anyone seeing them. How can I protect myself if we do get divorced?

I have been dating this incredible and sexy woman for five years. I am madly in love with her and cannot imagine my life with her. I have previously been married. She is 28 years old and I am 56 years old. She has never been married. When we first started dating, I informed her that I did not want children. She said that she agreed, was a career woman and did not want children. We have been discussing marriage and she recently told me that she changed her mind and decided that she wants to have children. She gave me an ultimatum and said she is moving on if I will not marry her and have at least one child. I do not want to have a child but I do not want to lose her. What do I do?

I did something VERY stupid. I've been banging my secretary and the condom broke. She, of course, is pregnant. I have been married for 20 years and do not want a divorce because I'll be paying my wife for the rest of my life. My secretary wants to have the kid. What are my financial obligations to her if the kid ends up being mine? (I do not think the kid is mine, by the way -- I think she's sleeping with another lawyer at our firm).

My brother donated his sperm to a lesbian friend of his so that she and her girlfriend could have a baby. The "donation" was successful and my brother's friend had a baby boy. That was about four years ago. My brother is still friends with the ladies and is called "uncle" by his own son. The women never had my brother sign anything regarding the kid and there was never an adoption agreement or anything like that. Does my brother have rights to his own kid if he wants to enforce them?

Prior to my marriage, I started a company that is still in existence. After our marriage, my company expanded, bought other companies and also split the original company into a new one. My wife has never been involved with any of the companies, was never an officer, director or even janitor there. I have filed for divorce, and my wife's attorney is now trying to argue that my companies are marital property and that my wife should get half. Is this true? How can I protect myself?

My wife and I are in the middle of a nasty divorce. We have four kids who live with her, and I get visitation. I got totally hosed by the judge and was ordered to pay my ex $30K a month in support. I am certain that this bitch is using the money to pay for things for her girlfriend (yes, she says I turned her gay) and I want to go into Court to cut the money I'm paying her. What can I do?

My wife and I have been separated for over a year and are in the process of getting a divorce. We have one son, who is five years old and who lives with both of us. My son has horrible asthma and is allergic to cats. My wife has a cat, but when our son is over, she either keeps the cat in a room away from our son or has the cat stay with a friend. But even when she does this, my son gets sick, can't breathe and has to go to the allergist and take medication to counteract the cat. Is there anything that I can do to prevent her from having the cat?

If I get a prenuptial agreement, can my fiancée and I put in there what religion our kids are going to be raised?

My wife and I divorced two years ago; I re-married. Prior to the temporary court order, I took out a loan against my life insurance to cover her attorney fees. The temporary order stated that I must not alter insurance policies. Now she wants to take me back to court to recoup the loan, since she now is the owner of my policies. Who wins?

I read in one of the tabloids that Amy Winehouse wants to divorce her husband, who is in jail. Can Amy get a divorce while he is still in jail or does she have to wait until he gets out?

I have a problem and I hope you can help. I am not exactly divorced yet and my husband found a receipt for $5,000 for breast implants. A friend of mine gave me the breast implants by way of a gift of cash. My husband wants to claim that $5,000 as a marital asset and he wants to take an extra $2,500 from the house proceeds. Can he do that?

My husband and I have been married for four years. I am an author and am writing a book and I just found out that my husband is cheating. I believe that I can sell this book for quite a bit of money, but I do not want my husband to get any part of it. If we get divorced, and my book is not yet published, can he get money that I earn from it in the future? Or should I wait to get divorced?

I just found out that my husband is cheating on me with a slut he works with. I am absolutely livid and want to know if there is anything that I can do, legally, to her? She has ruined my marriage.

My wife and I have had an unhappy marriage for many years. We have three kids, ages 10, 12 and 15. We have also employed a nanny for our children since the first was born. For the past two years I have been having an affair with the nanny, who is the love of my life. My wife found out and wants a divorce, which is fine with me. Is my affair with our nanny going to affect me being able to get custody of my kids?

My wife and I are divorced and our third (and youngest) child is supposed to be graduating from high school. My ex says that she is going to go to court to have me pay for our son's college. I know that I can be ordered to contribute to college for our son, but my son has all C's and D's and will be lucky to get into Hamburger University at this point! I love my son very much, but he's no Einstein and I do not think that I should have to pay for college when the kid can barely tie his own shoes without his mom or me helping him. Is there any hope for me?

I was recently at a party with some friends and was drinking. At the end of the night, I ended up making out with my former roommate. I think that I like this guy and could have a relationship with him in the future. However, my best girlfriend used to date him, but they split up a couple of months ago. I don't think that she would be upset if I started a relationship with him, but another friend of mine told me that I shouldn't go there. What do you think I should do?

I read all about Spitzer and his indiscretions with the high-class prostitute. Do you think his wife should divorce him?

One of my favorite celebrity couples, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, seems to have split up and called off their engagement. I read online that she does not want to return the engagement ring he gave her. Does she get to keep the ring?

I just read that New York State has apparently allowed dissolution of marriage for a gay couple who was married in Canada and moved to the United States. The article said that New York State does not allow gay marriage, so how can this couple get divorced there?

I am 37 and divorced with no kids. I own my own business and also do freelance work for a very prominent corporation in my area. About eight or nine months ago I met a man who holds a very senior position at this corporation that I do business with. We met in relation to work and hit it off. When he is in town on business, we will usually get together for dinner. We also talk and e-mail (on a personal level), fairly frequently. This man has often expressed his desire to make our relationship romantic. I have been very clear that it is not appropriate for our relationship to progress to a romantic level while we are still doing business together and while he is married and has young children. The guy just will not take "no" for an answer. At the same time, I have to continue to work with him and do not want to create any unnecessary tension in the work environment. What do you think I should do?

I am my wife's fourth husband and I recently found some documentation that she may not have gotten divorced from any of her other husbands. If this is true, can I file a class-action lawsuit against her for divorce? Would I need to have the other husbands sign or would they need to be present?

I need some domestic palimony advice, as well as some international. I've been with my lover and cohabitating with her since 1992. We were drunk in Greece one night in '97 aboard a yacht somewhere on the Aegean Sea near Santorini and Athens, and we exchanged vows and rings. If I wanted out of this relationship, what do I have to do, formally, if anything?

I am appalled that Heather Mills received 48.6 million from Paul McCartney when she was only married for 4 years! This is a bloody outrage. Why would she be entitled to $48.6 million -- roughly $12 million per each year of marriage?

I read that Governor Paterson and his wife, Michelle Paige Paterson, said they both had affairs during a time when their marriage was headed toward divorce. They stated that there was infidelity and they sought counseling and said they have built a stronger marriage and family. Why would the Governor bring this to the media without them asking? Do you believe it is possible for both spouses to have numerous affairs and then build a stronger marriage?

I am a U.S. citizen, but I live in Paris for work 10 months out of the year. I am married and my wife lives in NYC with our three children. One time per month, I either fly home to spend a week with my wife and kids, or they fly here and spend a week in Paris. Since we have been apart for so long, it's hard for my wife and I to continue to maintain intimacy and keep our relationship alive. We actually love each other and I am looking for ways to spice our relationship up -- what do you suggest?

This is heartbreaking. I got divorced from my ex-husband six years ago, and I am married to a great person who actually spends time with my seven-year-old daughter. Her biological dad is several states away, with contact every six months or so. When this happens, it causes stress for everyone, especially our daughter. He does not keep any report cards or projects I have sent in an attempt to establish contact. He has also canceled last minute for trips I paid for in advance for her to visit. He sends gifts once a year, minor things. My current husband wishes to adopt my daughter outright. How far can I go to see this through? My daughter, by her own choice, calls her step-dad "dad."

I am a gay man, but my brother saw your spread in the magazine and told me I should write to you to get your opinion on my current dating life issue. I have been casual friends with a guy that I met through other friends a couple of years ago. We e-mail every few days, talk to each other on the phone and get together every couple of weeks for a drink and dinner. I became more and more attracted to him, and he said he felt the same way. We recently decided that we would like to start seeing each other romantically. We went on several dates and everything went really well. About a week ago, we had the "talk" and decided to see each other exclusively. On Sunday morning, we were having breakfast when he told me that he had to meet another guy for coffee, that it was a date he had set several weeks earlier and that although he is not going to pursue anything with this man, he wanted to tell him "in person" that he was now in a relationship and couldn't date him. Since he went for coffee with this guy on Sunday, he has been ignoring my calls, text messages and e-mails. What should I do?

When my fiancé and I were engaged, I was employed at a very good job and had previously obtained several pieces of property that were valued in excess of one million dollars. My fiancé had very few assets of his own aside from a minimal pension through his union and a few thousand dollars left from a worker's compensation settlement. We decided prior to our marriage that we would have a prenuptial agreement. I went on the Internet, found several forms and we prepared the prenuptial agreement ourselves. We had it notarized at a bank, in the presence of my parents and then got married about two months later. Fast forward five years and we are in the middle of a vicious divorce. My soon to be ex-scumbag of a husband is arguing that the prenuptial agreement is invalid and that he is entitled to half of all of my property that I acquired through my hard work prior to our marriage. Will he be able to get our prenuptial agreement thrown out? And if he does, will he be entitled to get a part of the property that I had before our marriage? I hate this jerk!

I saw that Richie Sambora was just arrested for a DUI. He was also recently in rehab for an admitted alcohol problem. Can his ex now go into court and try and prevent him from seeing their daughter?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about eight months now. We do not live together, but he spends a lot of time at my house. He has part of the closet and space in the dresser for his clothes. But now, he is asking for me to give him half of the bathroom cabinet for his personal items. I think that this is an outrageous request and we have gotten in huge fights about this. He says if I do not give him half of the cabinet space in the bathroom, then I do not really love him. I say that he's a guy, does not need that many products and that the request is ridiculous. We both agreed to submit the question to you and that whatever you decided, we would live with. What is your opinion and what should we do?

I was at the bookstore yesterday and saw that one of my favorite actresses, Tori Spelling, has a new book out that talks all about her struggles to overcome her father cutting her out of his will. Does anybody really know what she received after her dad died? What do you think of her tell-all book? She is one hot mama!

I am also a lawyer (and I think what you're doing is fabulous). I am 35 and single, work a lot and find it difficult to meet men. But a girl still has needs that have to be met! Last summer, I met another lawyer who practices in the same area as I do, and we hit it off. Nothing physical or romantic has happened, but we had some great conversations and have chatted and e-mailed. I think that he would like to take the relationship to a physical level (there is chemistry). The problem is, he is married. A good friend of mine is urging me to scratch the itch, if you know what I mean, but I'm not certain. I'm not interested in a long-term relationship with this person, we just have a lot of fun. What should I do?

It seems that not a day passes where there isn't some sex scandal with our politicians. Here in Detroit, our mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, was just indicted for perjury because he previously testified that he did not have a personal, sexual relationship with his chief of staff. Well, apparently, about 4,000 text messages seem to say otherwise. With text message and e-mails available to be read by everybody, how is someone supposed to "heat up" their personal life without getting indicted, fired or sued for divorce?

I just saw online that the Illinois Supreme Court has decided they won't hear an appeal in Michael Jordan's case. You know, the one where the woman he had an affair with sued him for support? Did that woman have a valid claim against MJ? They weren't even married!

I read that Jay-Z is close to reaching a $150 million deal with Live Nation that will give the concert promoter a stake in virtually every aspect of the rapper and entrepreneur's career. If he marries Beyoncé or any other hottie, what is your advice to him to keep all that money for himself?

News reports are saying that Naomi Campbell was arrested in London, this time for getting into a physical altercation while on an airplane. The article that I read says that Campbell always blames her bad temper (is that what one calls it?) on abandonment issues stemming from her father. I think that she is just a bratty, poorly behaved celebrity. Do you buy into Campbell's "abandonment" issues?

"Long time listener, first time caller" here. The last few weeks there have been a lot of political scandals with cheating spouses, text messages, e-mails and let us not forget Spitzer's hooker drama. Well, now it was just revealed here in Michigan that Thomas Athans, the husband of one of our senators, Debbie Stabenow, was caught using a prostitute when she was away in D.C. working. If she now wants to divorce him, and he fights for custody, how will banging hookers affect his custody case? How will it affect his divorce case?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and he has recently told me that he wants to experiment more sexually. We started incorporating toys into sex, trying new positions and more daring locations, and it was great. The sex was hotter than ever. Last week, my boyfriend told me that he wants us to do a threesome with another woman. I'm not comfortable doing that (and we've talked about this before), but my boyfriend keeps asking me. What do I do? I love my boyfriend more than life, but I do NOT want to be with another woman and eat her out. How do I handle this?

I have a bet with my wife. She says that anal sex is illegal. I say it's legal. Who wins? You can imagine what the prize is if I am right.

My brother-in-law is getting married. His future wife is 21 and doesn't work. For the time I have known her (two years or so) she has worked for maybe two weeks. I have told him to get a prenuptial agreement because he will end up with half of what she has and he owns that half as well. Do you feel I am right about this? I just don't want to see him lose everything.

I am a guy in my mid-40s and am still looking for Ms. Right. I find it's hard to meet quality women who don't just want to find out how much money I have and then get a ring on their finger. Can you recommend some ways for me to meet beautiful, intelligent and sexy women (like yourself) who will give love a chance?

I saw a report that Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are splitting up, although their reps denied the rumor. They're not married, but I'm pretty sure they own property together. If one day they do split, what will happen to their house if they break up? How will they decide who gets what?

I read awhile ago that my favorite basketball player, Shaq had filed for divorce. I also read that Shaq says his wife had been secretive about her assets, and he requested that the court require Shaunie to give an accounting of all money, funds, stocks, bonds and other securities acquired during the marriage. How can he request an accounting and what does it do in a case?

I am a body builder and love your pictures -- you look so buff in them! I am training for a bodybuilding contest, and I have found that part of my training regimen decreases my sex drive. The problem is that my wife, whom I love dearly and want to please, still needs to be satisfied. She is very understanding about what my training does to our sex life, but I want to be able to please her even if it's not with my tools. Any suggestions?

My girlfriend and I like to play the lotto each week. We both get a couple of tickets and hope to win big. Last week, I got a few extra tickets and didn't tell her, and I drew the winning number! The ticket is worth about $400,000, but I don't want to share it with my girlfriend. We've been having some problems lately, and I do not think she should get part of this money. If I claim the prize, can she take me to court and get half my money?

I've been married for about 10 years now, and my wife and I have four children. My wife is pregnant with our fifth child, and I think it is time to stop having kids. I told her that I want to get a vasectomy, and she flipped out, started screaming at me and told me that she might want more kids and that I wasn't considering her feelings in this situation. My wife does not work, and I support our family, and things are starting to get financially tight. How do I tell my wife, firmly, that I am getting a vasectomy and that she cannot stop me?

I met this guy that I am crazy about. We had a really great date and a lot in common. He travels for business quite often and does not live here but comes here often for business. Our date occurred over one month ago. He has e-mailed a few times and sent some nice text messages. He keeps saying he will see me soon but does not give me any indication as to when I will see him again. I am really bummed and thought we had a really great connection. I know there are signs that a guy is not into you, but I am not sure at this point. What should I do?

I heard that Ivana Trump got hitched again and married her Italian entrepreneur boyfriend Rossano Rubicondi. Ivana Trump is 59 years old and Rubicondi is only 36 years old, and they have been together for about six years. Why not just live in sin forever? What do you think -- he is just after her money, right?

I just read that Sean Penn and his wife, Robin Wright Penn, dismissed their divorce action. Why would they dismiss the divorce instead of putting it on hold?

I just read this story online about a woman who aired her dirty divorce laundry over YouTube. I am appalled by what this woman did by posting her business on the Internet in an attempt to get further along in her divorce. What do you think of what she did? Will this YouTube video do anything to help her in her case?

I met a fabulous lady a few months back and we recently reconnected. We went on a date and had a GREAT time -- the conversation kept moving and it was a fantastic date. Although we did not have sex, our chemistry was hot. Since our date, we haven't been able to get together again due to work schedules and have been text messaging and e-mailing back and forth. I got busy with a work project traveling and have not e-mailed or contacted her for several months. I think I might now be in the doghouse with her -- what do I do to get things back on track? Is there any way to show her that I care?

I was out with some buddies at a local bar one night and while we were there, I saw this woman who works in the same industry as me. I have admired her from afar for quite a while now (she's beautiful and smart) and finally went up to her and introduced myself. She was very friendly, we chatted for about an hour, and then she went back to hanging out with her friends. I've seen her around town a few times since then and would like to ask her out, but I'm not sure how to approach her. What should I do?

I listen to Howard Stern all the time, and I am a huge fan. He talks about his fiancée, Beth, all the time, but they never discuss wedding plans. Do you think he is just doing this for publicity or is he in love with her and eventually will marry her?

I just saw that Gary Coleman, who was on Diff'rent Strokes, and his 22-year-old wife are getting a divorce. But they are going on Divorce Court to have their case heard. Why would Gary Coleman go on Divorce Court?

Hello, Corri! The gays think you are incredible, even if you bat for the other team. Although I do my best never to get myself tangled up in another man's affairs, a guy I was seeing told me he wants to divorce his husband, but he's not able to. They were married in Boston in 2004 but moved to the D.C. area soon after. He claims that the courts here won't recognize the marriage, so they can't give him a divorce. Is he pulling my chain? How could you not be able to get divorced?

I just read online that a woman in Tennessee was charged in the death of her husband after their sex play got out of control -- she had him bound and gagged, and he ended up suffocating. I do not understand how they can charge the wife criminally when the husband knew what he was doing and consented when he allowed himself to be bound and gagged. Can the state criminally prosecute her?

I am 35 years old and a single professional guy. I started dating this smokin' hot woman about three months ago. She wanted to take the sex thing slowly, so I agreed. Last week she finally agreed to have sex. As part of foreplay, I wanted her to give me a blow job. She told me she hates giving blow jobs, and it makes her gag. She refused my request. To me, a blow job a day would make me the happiest guy ever. How do I decide if this is a deal breaker? She is really hot, but I need happy endings, too. What do you think?

I have fallen in love with one of my good guy friends, but he is married. I know that he is miserable in his marriage, (he talks about it all the time) and I also know that he feels the same way about me. We have such great chemistry and so many things in common, but he does not want to leave his wife because they have young kids. I really do love him and think we could be great together if he would ever get off his ass and divorce his wife. What do I do?

I read on Court TV's website that Phil Spector is suing his first criminal lawyer, Robert Shapiro, seeking a return of more than $1 million that he paid to Shapiro during Shapiro's representation of him relating to the murder of Lana Clarkson. Does Phil have a chance of getting a return of fees paid to Shapiro?

I just read an article that Ashley Dupre, Spitzer's escort, is suing Girls Gone Wild for $10 million, claiming he exploited her image and name to advertise the racy videos. She said that she was only 17, too young to sign legally binding contracts and drunk on spring break in 2003. How can she sue now and do you think she has a chance?

My fiancé was married when we first got together. We have two kids together now, a two-year-old and a three-month-old. He still isn't divorced. He's been legally separated for a little over a year. He has always been a sexaholic. Although he's never cheated on me, he went out to eat with a bunch of his friends, and they seem to always run into this chick that follows them around. She's a whore. She offered my man, who is in college taking engineering, a blow job for some of his drawings so that she could pass that class. He told her he couldn't do that because he was taken. When I confronted her about it, he got angry. Does he have a thing for her, or will he cheat?

I have been dating this great guy for about three months. He is smart, funny, witty, super-sexy and we get along great. I am 35 and he is 54. I want my friends and my guy to enjoy hanging out together, but my friends are all pretty opposed to the relationship due to the age difference. I say that age does not matter if I am happy and he treats me like a princess, but they just keep seeing his age as a number. What do you think I should do?

My guy has suggested that he would love to see me with another girl. He does not want to participate, just watch while I eat the girl out. I'm a little uncertain about doing this, even though I think it would be very hot for my boyfriend to "teach" me how to give great head -- and he is fabulous at it! I said I would submit the question to you and get your opinion. We both love your column. What do you think? Should I take the pussy plunge?

What is the deal with James Brown? I thought he was dead. Now some DNA test says that he is the daddy of James Brown II. What does this mean now? Is he entitled to anything? Is his wife entitled to money too? It's unbelievable that they can go after a dead man's fortune.

You are so purrty. I sure hope Playboy is going to take more naked pictures of you and put them online. I am a HUGE baseball fan, and I just saw online that Roger Clemens is being accused of having an affair with Mindy McCready (who is also real purrty, but not as purrty as you). What is the deal and why even bring this up?

My girlfriend is awesome and we have a great sex life, but, I'd like to start to experiment with bondage. We have talked about it a little bit, and she seems willing to try. I want to make sure that she has a great time when she's tied up and that everything goes really well. Do you have any advice on how to make her comfortable so that she enjoys the experience as much as I do?

A couple of weeks ago I told my wife that I would like it if she would let me shave her pussy for her. I think it could be erotic and would like to share that intimacy with her. She flipped a lid when I asked her, told me that I was perverted and that she didn't think it was appropriate for a husband to shave his wife. Since then, we haven't had sex and she is barely even talking to me. What can I say to her to make her see my side of things and to get back into her good graces?

Question: I have always been a huge Vito Fossella supporter and donated quite a bit of money to his campaign. I cannot believe he would ever drink and drive and lead a double life. There must be some missing information because he is a smart guy; so, why did he tell the police where he was going and risk everything?

R. Kelly is one of my favorite musical artists of all time. His trial started in Chicago. If the girl who prosecutors allege is in the tape denies that it is her in the tape, how can they indict him and put him on trial? Don't they need the girl to testify against him?

My wife and I share a very healthy sexual life. We have experimented with many different things, including bondage, domination/submission where I am the master and she is the slave, and swinging. One of the couples we swing with has suggested we engage in "water sports," and I definitely want to try it. My wife is not so sure. How do I introduce her to water sports and explain how it can be pleasurable for both of us?

What do you think is the most important trait to turn a man on? I am 34-years-old, attractive, fit and well-endowed. I cannot seem to get a second date with a guy and I am losing my self-confidence. Help! What should I do? I want to have kids but my biological time clock is ticking.

The Chicago Bears' Lance Briggs is embroiled in one paternity suit, a second woman may be pregnant with another child by Briggs, and he is reportedly living with a third woman who recently gave birth to a daughter by Briggs. If he has to pay child support for all those kids, does that reduce the amount he has to pay in each case?

It looks like Jennifer Aniston is now dating John Mayer. She is a lot older than he is. What do you think of the cougar lifestyle? Do you think that Aniston and Mayer can have a good relationship and will they last?

How can I get my fiancé and I to have that special spark back? It seems things are not like what they used to be when we first started dating. How can we bring that spark back into our lives?

My fiancé and I are planning a trip to Europe, and she has told me that one of her life's fantasies is to have sex on a subway train in a foreign city. Not only that, she wants me to promise that we will have sex on every train in Europe when we are there next month. What do you suggest that we do? What if we get caught?

Bill Murray is one of my favorite actors. I heard his wife filed for divorce because of his drug problems. What will happen to his four kids? Is there a prenuptial agreement?

Mariah Carey is way too hot for Nick Cannon. Mariah dated Mark Sudack for three years and they split up just weeks ago. Now out of the blue, she's marrying Nick. Will this marriage last if she just broke up with Mark? Why do you think she married him so fast?

I have been back on the dating scene for the past year, getting a divorce after 15 years (we are still good friends). At my friend's daughter's birthday party, I met this fine woman. She is 22 years old (I am 42) and studying nursing at UCLA. We hit it off pretty fast, as we have similar interests in sports and movies among other things. On the weekends she comes to my place. During the week, I try to make it to hers a couple times a week. Everything is great, except that she really, really likes to give and receive oral sex. It's not that I mind, her pussy is great and she sucks my dick like a champ. It is just that we rarely have regular sex. She even likes me fingering her. Please advise.

My wife and I are in a pending divorce. At what point in time do the assets I accumulate at work get to be mine and not considered marital assets?

I heard that Dylan McDermott is representing himself in his own divorce case. Is he a moron, or does he think his Practice days were real and he knows the law? What do you think?

I just saw that Heidi Montag has decided that she is now "ready" to get married to Spencer, after he supposedly cheated on her and embarrassed her in front of the whole world. Why would she take his sorry, cheating ass back?

I used to work with an older gentleman (there is a 15-year age difference), and we had great chemistry. We no longer work together but have stayed in touch by e-mail and text. I know that he wants to turn the relationship physical, and I would love that, but I also want to have an actual relationship with him. We have common interests; he is smart, sexy and funny. But he always says that he doesn't want to have a relationship until his kids are in college. What should I do?

My wife and I have decided that we would definitely like to try swinging, but we are not certain how to go about finding the right partners and knowing that they are trustworthy. How do other swingers do this?

My girlfriend and I have been together for about three years now. Once or twice a week my guy friends and I get together, hang out, play poker and usually end up at a strip club. My girlfriend didn't used to mind our guys' night out, but she's been really clingy for a couple of weeks now. Last week, she even showed up at the strip club when we were getting lap dances. She says she just wants to hang out with me and enjoy the experience of being at strip clubs together, but I don't want her there. How do I tell her that?

What is the story with Liv Tyler? I hear that she now wants to go back to that loser British rock musician. Why would she want him back? Do you find that it generally works out when people try to get back together? I think Liv is one hot mama, and she can have anyone she wants.

I am having a problem with my girlfriend in the bedroom. We have been dating for two years, and I love her very much. The problem is that I love to watch porn movies during sex. The dirtier, the better -- gangbang sex, XXX and girl on girl -- you name it. It turns me on unbelievably. She thinks it is disgusting and dirty and turns her off when we have sex. How can I get her to watch porn and enjoy it with me during sex?

What is the matter with Anne Hathaway? Her boyfriend is a loser and not only did he bounce huge checks but now some organization he runs is under investigation. Do you think there is something wrong with her for staying with such a loser?

I heard George "The Man" Clooney just dumped that young hottie. Why do you think they broke up?

My girlfriend never wants to give me blow jobs. And I mean never. I am lucky if I can get a blow job on my birthday. When I ask her why, she always says that she just doesn't like it. But she's great at it. How do I tell her that I need more of my dick in her mouth to be satisfied in this relationship?

My fiancé is super hot and I do not want to risk losing him to another woman. We are supposed to get married in one year. He said he will not marry me unless I enjoy having anal sex. I have been reluctant because it hurt the first time we tried it. He said he loves sticking his dick in my tight ass and he wants me to enjoy anal sex with him. I do not want to lose him, but I don't know what to do. Don't tell me to get rid of him because that is not an option, so please help me learn to love anal.

I read that Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie are having marital problems and may divorce. But they have homes in England and New York. How do they pick where they file for divorce, and does it matter where they file for divorce?

Did Coleman Laffoon get screwed or what? Anne Heche only has to pay him $275,000. That is a total joke. Her support was reduced to only $3,700 per month also. Why do all guys get screwed in divorce? Is it because she is a celeb?

I am pregnant with my third child and am on bed rest, and so I cannot go out with my husband when he goes to social events or to hang out with our friends. One of my friends told me that this past weekend my husband was drunk and hitting on her and a few of our other girlfriends at a party while I was at home. What should I say to my husband? I do not think that he would cheat on me, but I'm really pissed that he's going out and flirting with other women while I'm at home laid up in bed!

I am 26, and I have been dating my girlfriend for about two years. She is 24 years old, smoking hot and very sexual. She has always talked about being a porn star. It is her dream. Recently, she told me that she has started the process of doing naked photos and softcore porn, with the hopes that she can be a successful porn star. I think I'm supposed to not want her to do this, but a part of me wants to let her do it. The problem is that I can get jealous. I'm just not sure if I'm okay with this. A part of me, though, is excited for her, and it would be cool to be with a porn star. She said she will not do it if I say no because of the emotional strain on our relationship. Advice?

I read online that there was a psychological expert in Christie Brinkley's divorce case who is recommending that Christie get full custody of the kids because her husband is a narcissist and a porn addict. What role does an expert play in a custody case and does the court have to listen to him when making a decision?

A friend of mine who is getting a divorce was approached by her husband and he suggested that they use a "collaborative divorce" instead of the traditional divorce process. What is collaborative divorce and is it better than the regular divorce process?

I am very interested in a guy whom I met through a friend. We really hit it off, have texted and emailed pretty frequently since we met, and this past weekend we went out on Saturday night -- he paid for dinner. But at the end, he didn't make a move for a good night kiss or not. Was this a date or just two friends hanging out? How do I get him to realize that I am interested in something more?

I loved your answer a few weeks back about the cougar versus the C.L.I.T. Everyone seems to be talking these days about Hulk Hogan's wife Linda Hogan, who is 50 years old and rumored to be fucking the 19-year-old friend of her children. Why would a 19-year-old want to be with a 50-year-old?

One of my favorite actresses, Salma Hayek, just broke up with her fiancé and the father of her child. He's loaded. What can Salma get from him financially now that they are not getting married?

Why did A-Rod's wife file for divorce? What is an alienation of affections action and how does A-Rod's wife have an action for alienation of affections against Madonna?

I saw that Andy Dick was arrested in Las Vegas, but haven't been able to find out much about the charges against one of my favorite comedians. What is going on with him?

My parents divorced when I was two years old and my mom remarried last year (I'm 20 now). My stepfather has a son who is a few years older than I, and he is totally hot. I am so attracted to him and I think he feels the same way about me. We are not related, but is there anything that can legally prevent us from having a relationship?

Why did Britney agree to give Kevin sole custody of her children? Why didn't she fight? Great column!

I just saw that Howard Stern is going to finally get married, but they are having two ceremonies -- one in August and one in October. Why have two ceremonies?

Rudy Giuliani's kid was kicked off of Duke University's golf team, and he is suing the University. Why would he do this? What is the basis for this lawsuit?

I am an older gentleman and have just met a woman through work, (we do not work together but are in the same profession) and I am head over heels for her. However, I am married and due to financial issues, cannot leave my wife. The new woman has expressed concern over getting involved with me because I'm married. How can I convince her that my intentions are true, and I want to be with her?

My wife recently discovered gay pornography in our teenage son's room (catalogs, movies). When she showed it to me, she asked me how I thought we should handle the situation and talk to our son. I told her that our son's sexuality is his business, and he should bring the subject up with us when he is comfortable. However, she wants to confront him about his sexuality. What is the right way to handle this situation so we do not embarrass our son or hurt our relationship with him?

What should I do when I am absolutely in love with a gorgeous blonde and already asked her out? Should I ask her out twice? Should I give up or keep trying?