Tales from the Decameron

The 9th Tale of the 7th Day

In Argos, a city of Achaia, there once lived a nobleman named Nicostratus. When he was nearing old age, fortune bestowed upon him a very young wife, a noble lady named Lydia, as high spirited as she was beautiful. Nicostratus, being a man of wealth, kept many servants, hounds and hawks, and spent much of his time hunting. Among his servants was a young man named Pyrrhus, handsome, well bred, and skilled in all that he was required to do.

Now it came to pass that the lady Lydia fell in love with this young man, and day and night she could think of nothing else. Pyrrhus, however, either failed to recognize or did not want the lady's affection, for he gave no indication that he cared for her, and this made the lady very unhappy. At last, determined that he should know of her feelings, the lady summoned a chamberwoman named Lusca, in whom she had a great deal of confidence.

"Lusca," she said, "the many favors I have done for you should make you both faithful and obedient. Make certain, therefore, that the message I give you reached no one but he for whom it is intended.

"As you see, I am a young woman, attractive in both face and figure, and filled with the same desires as others of my sex. My husband, however, is many years my elder, and gives me little of that which a young and spirited woman most enjoys. Fortune has been most unkind in giving me so old a spouse, but I refuse to also be my own enemy by not finding other paths to pleasure. I have selected, therefore, after much consideration, the young servant Pyrrhus as most deserving and capable of supplying my wants. Indeed, dear Lusca, I so yearn for his embraces that I am never happy except when I see or am thinking about him. And if I do not hold him near to me soon, I believe that I shall die.

"Therefore, dear Lusca, if you value my life, make known my love to him in whatever way you think best, and beg him to come to me when you give him the sign."

The chamberwoman agreed and when the time seemed right, she gave her lady's messages to the young servant. Pyrrhus was greatly surprised, as he had never suspected Lydia's feelings for him, and he feared that the lady might have sent the message to test his fidelity. Therefore, he answered:

"Lusca, I, myself, am very fond of my mistress and it would please me greatly to serve her in this way. But, on the other hand, I know my lord to be a wise and careful man who has full control of all his affairs. I'm afraid that Lydia may be doing this at the request of her husband as a test. If, however, she will do three things to reassure me, then her slightest wish shall be my command. The three proofs I desire are these: first, she must kill Nicostratus' favorite falcon before his eyes; second, she must send me a lock of Nicostratus' beard; third, she must send me one of his best teeth. If she will do these things, I will know that she truly loves me and I shall love her in return."

These requests seemed difficult to Lusca and to the lady as well. But love made Lydia determine to attempt them, so she sent Pyrrhus word that she would do what was required of her, and soon. Moreover, she added, whereas Pyrrhus believed Nicostratus to be a wise man, she would prove him a fool by lying with Pyrrhus in his presence and then making him believe it had not happened.

Pyrrhus, therefore, waited with much anticipation to see what the lady would do.

The next week Nicostratus gave a large dinner for certain gentlemen friends. When the tables had been cleared, Madam Lydia came from her chamber in a handsome, green velvet robe. She entered the room where they were assembled and, in the presence of Pyrrhus, Nicostratus, and the rest, went to the perch where her husband's favorite hawk sat, took up the bird as though to place it on her hand, and then holding it by the jesses, dashed it against the wall and killed it.

"Wife, what have you done?" Nicostratus exclaimed.

"A thing I have wished to do for many months," she said, and then turning to the gentlemen who had dined there, she explained, "Gentlemen, you must know that this bird has deprived me of much of the time men usually give to ladies' pleasure, for as soon as dawn appears, Nicostratus is up and out on horseback with this falcon on his wrist, to watch it fly over the neighboring plains. (continued on page 32) Decameron (continued from page 18) And I, as you see me now, must remain alone and discontented in my bed. Therefore, I have long desired to do what has now been done, and my only reason for waiting was the wish to commit the act in the presence of men who could judge my quarrel justly, as I believe you will."

The gentlemen believed her alleged affection for Nicostratus to be the reason for her action, and so they turned laughing to the angry husband, and said:

"The lady was most right to avenge herself upon the bird." And after the lady had retired to her room, they made so many jokes about it all that they changed Nicostratus' annoyance into laughter. And Pyrrhus said to himself. "The lady has made a noble beginning to our bargain. I pray that she continues as successfully."

A few days after the death of the hawk, Lydia was in her chamber with Nicostratus caressing him and jesting and toying with him. Playfully, he pulled her by the hair, thus giving her an opportunity to carry out Pyrrhus' second request. She quickly grasped a small lock of her husband's beard and laughingly pulled it so hard it came clean out of his chin. This she then sent to her expectant lover.

The third request took more thought, but she was a spirited wench, and love gave her special wits. She hit upon a most ingenious plan. Nicostratus had two young pages, given to him by their father, that they might be raised in a house of good breeding and manners. When Nicostratus sat at the table, one of them carved for him and the other served him drink. Lydia sent for them both and told them that their breaths were offensive, and commanded that henceforth they should turn their heads when they served Nicostratus, and that they should never speak of the matter to anyone. The boys believed her and thereafter behaved as the lady had told them. The lady then said to Nicostratus:

"Have you noticed how the boys act when they are waiting on you?"

"Yes," said Nicostratus, "and I mean to ask them the reason for it."

"Do not so embarrass them," said the lady, "for I can tell you myself. I have kept silent about it for some time for I did not wish to offend you. But now I see that others are beginning to take notice, and so I must speak. It is you breath. It is most offensive, and to boys turn away to avoid it. I cannot understand it, for it is not customary with you. But it is most unfortunate, as you spend your time with gentlemen, and we must find some means of curing it."

"What can it be?" Nicostratus said. "Can one of my teeth have gone rotten?"

"Perhaps that is it," Lydia agreed.

She took him to a window, made him open his mouth, and after looking here and there, she said:

"Oh, Nicostratus, how can you have endured it for so long? You've a tooth there that appears to be quite rotten, through and through. If you keep it any longer, it will surely infect the other teeth around it. I suggest that you have it removed immediately."

"It is strange that I feel nothing."

Nicostratus said, "but send for the chirurgeon. I must have it out at once, before it infects my entire-mouth."

"Oh, no," cried the lady, "it appears to be in such a shape that I could draw it out myself. We dare not wait for the chirurgeon. Moreover, these doctors are so heartless in performing their services that I could not bear to see you in their hands. I'll do it all myself. Then if it is too painful, I shall stop at once, a thing no doctor ever does."

She then sent for a large pliers and ordered everyone from the room. She made Nicostratus lie upon a table, then placed the pliers in his mouth round one of his teeth and, in spite of his yells, yanked it from him. She hid the good tooth at once and produced another rotten one she had concealed. Showing this to her husband as he lay half dead from pain on the table, she said:

"Look at what rottenness you had in your mouth for so long."

Although Nicostratus had suffered greatly and complained bitterly about it, he believed his wife, and since the tooth was out, was glad that he had been so cured.

The lady immediately sent the tooth to Pyrrhus; and he, now certain of her love, said he was ready to give her every pleasure.

Though every hour apart was now like a thousand, the lady still wished to carry out her last promise. Therefore, one evening immediately after dinner, with no one in the room but Nicostratus (continued on page 48) Decameron (continued from page 32) and Pyrrhus, the lady pretended to become quite ill and begged them each to help her into the fresh air of the garden. This they did, and set her down at the foot of a fine pear tree.

She had already informed Pyrrhus of her plan, and so, when, in a little while, she requested a pear, he quickly climbed the tree and began plucking the fruit. Then suddenly, much agitated, he said:

"My lord, what are you doing? And you, my lady, are you not ashamed to allow it in my presence? Do you think I am blind? A moment ago you were ill; how can you be cured so quickly as to do such things? And if you must as to do them, you have plenty of bedrooms -- why not go there, instead of committing them in my presence."

The lady turned to her husband and said, "What is faithful Pyrrhus talking about? Is he raving?"

"I'm not raving, my lady," Pyrrhus insisted. "Do you think I cannot see?"

Nicostratus was amazed, and said, "Why, Pyrrhus, I think you must be dreaming."

"Nay, sire, I speak the truth!" Pyrrhus continued. "If this pear tree were moving as you, not a pear would be left on it."

"Whatever can this be," exclaimed the lady. "Can it truly be that what he says seems true to him? Oh, I wish that I were well that I might climb the tree and see this marvel for myself."

"Come down from there," Nicostratus commanded. And when Pyrrhus descended, Nicostratus asked, "What is it you believe you saw?"

"You must think my mind is wandering," said Pyrrhus, "but I saw you lying on your lady, and had to tell you so. And as I came down the tree, I saw you rise and sit down where you are now."

"You certainly were out of your mind," said Nicostratus, "for we haven't moved from this spot since you first climbed the tree."

"But I saw you," Pyrrhus insisted, "as clearly as I see you now."

"This pear tree must be bewitched," said Nicostratus. "I must climb it and see what wonder you beheld."

And so he climbed the tree. And as soon as he was in its branches, Pyrrhus and the lady began making love. Seeing them, Nicostratus shouted:

"Vile woman! What are you doing? And you, too, Pyrrhus, in whom I had such trust!"

"But, my lord," said Lydia, "we are sitting still!"

As Nicostratus climbed down, they returned to the places where they had been sitting. Once on the ground, Nicostratus found them in the positions in which he had left them. He immediately began denouncing them both, but Pyrrhus said:

"Nicostratus, I confess, you were right when you said I saw wrongly in the pear tree. I know now, for you, too, have just seen a thing that did not exist. No further proof is needed than to point out that if your lady, who is most chaste and wise, desired to betray your honor, she would certainly never do so before your very eyes. The error of this vision must, therefore, come from the pear tree. For the whole world could not have convinced me that you were not intimately lying with your wife here a few moments ago, if I had not heard you say that you believed me guilty of the very same act just now -- when, of course, I was but sitting here watching you in the tree."

The lady rose to her feet, as though in anger, and said:

"Fool husband, if I were ever to do such a thing as you suggest, I would certainly choose a more appropriate time and place. You must be crazed if you believe I would commit such an act in your presence."

Nicostratus had to agree to this logic, and could only marvel at the miracle of the vision in the tree. But the lady continued to feign anger.

"This pear tree will never shame another lady as it has me," she exclaimed. "Pyrrhus, go get an ax and avenge me at once by cutting it down. Though, truthfully, you might better hit my husband on the head with the ax for having allowed his eyes to so fool his intellect. For no matter how your eyes might try to make you believe such a thing, your good judgement ought to tell you it is false."

Pyrrhus immediately went for an ax and cut down the pear tree. And when the lady saw it fall, she said to Nicostratus:

"Now that I have witnessed the fall of my honor's enemy, my anger has departed."

So the lady forgave her husband and commanded him never to make such incredible accusations again. Then the three of them returned together to the house. And with the last of the agreement completed, Pyrrhus and Lydia took intimate pleasure together often and at their leisure. A just reward for so clever a pair.