How to Apply for a Job

Let us Assume you are young, healthy, clear-eyed and eager, anxious to rise quickly and easily to the top of the business world.

You can!

If you have education, intelligence, and ability, so much the better. But remember that thousands have reached the top without them. You, too, can be among the lucky few.

Just have courage, and memorize the simple rules in this series of articles in the next few issues of Playboy.

Choose the Right Company

This is the first essential, neglected by so many. There are thousands and thousands of "right" companies. Find them. Make sure your company fits these easy requirements:

1. It must be BIG. In fact, the bigger the better. It should be big enough so that nobody knows exactly what anyone else is doing.

2. It should be in a Big City. This is not essential, but it helps. New York City is best, but many others will qualify. The reasons are too complicated to be taken up here, but will be discussed thoroughly in a later article.

3. Beware of "Service" Companies. Be sure yours is a company that makes something, and that somebody else has to make it. Any company with a factory will do. Beware of organizations offering personal services, whether they be law offices, advertising agencies, or animal hospitals. They will give you few opportunities to relax, or to plan your future.

This will leave you a wide field. Remember, you are about to embark on the sea of life. It is important to choose men you would like to sail with.

Don't be a Specialist

If you have a special knack, such as drawing or writing, forget it. You may receive more at the very start for special abilities, but don't forget the Long Haul. You don't want to wind up behind a filing case drawing or writing!

It is the ability to Get Along, to Make Decisions, and to Get Contacts that will drive you ahead. Be an "all-around" man of no special ability and you will rise to the top.

How to Get the Interview

The first step is to get in, to get the appointment. A friend's recommendation is helpful, or a letter stating useful experience. But if you have no useful friends or any related experience, don't be discouraged!

Use an Idea. For Dad, a bright, chatty "come-on" letter and a snappy photo were enough. Not so today. Your prospect throws away a basketful of them every day. Your Presentation will have to stand out. Be original! Be dramatic!

Think how you would feel if you were a personnel man and a quartet arrived singing a clever set of lyrics like "He's a Big Man, Rivers!" to the tune of "Old Man River." Or, "The Smith a Mighty Man Is He."

If your name isn't Rivers or Smith, a few moments' thought will turn up a dandy for you.

Another sock idea is a boxing glove and prayer book, attached to a snappy note beginning: "For that old Sunday punch you need a man like (Insert your name here)."

Remember this: It's easy to drop a letter in the wastebasket, but it's hard to overlook a piece of artillery or a Shetland pony.

Think up one yourself. The surface has barely been scratched.

Warning: Avoid Sentimentality. A lock of your hair, a photo of you as a tiny tot, or a baby shoe may force a tear, but it will not get you a job.

References

Always include references in your presentation. If few people will speak well of you, list uncles or cousins with different surnames.

A good trick is to list a recently deceased tycoon, scratching his name off lightly.

"Poor Bunny," you will say later in the interview, "I'll take his name off my new résumé."

Seize Your Opportunities

Though you, as a keen young man, must plot a straight course and an accurate one for your business career, leaving little to chance, you must nevertheless be ready on an instant's notice for the knock of Opportunity.

This is particularly true in the early stages before you make your connection.

Suppose, for example, you happen to run into the head of a large corporation:

"Oops, sorry, Mr. Biggley, didn't mean to knock you down!"

"You blasted idiot!"

"I was just coming to ask you for a job, sir --"

"Dammit, you imbecile, what do you think we have a personnel man for?"

Seize your opportunity! Go to the personnel man:

"I was speaking to J.B. Biggley only this morning."

"Biggley himself?"

"He said to see you."

"Not old J.B.!"

"Oh, yes. Just happened to run into him."

"Well, well, Mr. uh --"

"Finch. Pierrepont Finch."

"Well, this may be over my level, Mr. Finch. Perhaps you ought to see Mr. Bratt."

And so, in one way or another, you will have stormed the gates and the company of your choice will be quick to grant you that important interview.

How to Dress

Once you have been granted an appointment, prepare carefully. The impression you must convey is that you don't really need this job -- the job needs you. It is a challenge. Dress with this in mind.

The note is one of studied carelessness. By all means wear a Madison Avenue Sack Suit. If one is not available to you, borrow any old suit from a comparatively shapeless friend, remove the padding, and roll about in it on a clean level surface.

Accessories should be kept in the same minor key. A black knit tie is good for creating the feeling that you don't really give a damn. Wear shoes of the same pair. No good being too relaxed.

No Mustache

Avoid not only mustaches, but also sideburns and chin whiskers. Men with facial hair are seldom trusted. (Later you will have more latitude, as you will see when we discuss Junior Executives.)

A Word to Women

Women are often hired by women, but it is well to be prepared for any emergency. If you're not sure of your interviewer, it is best to bring along a handy Convertible Kit. This consists of a Salvation Army hat (insignia removed), heavy glasses, zip-on Mother Hubbard, and an extra pair of flat-heeled shoes. These can all be slipped on quickly in the reception room after the receptionist says, "Miss Blank will see you now." If, of course, it is Mister Blank who will see you, just leave your equipment in a neat pile in the reception room. No one will take it.

Aside from your Convertible Kit, dress carefully, with Mister Blank in mind. Nothing will be wasted because if you do get the job, these will be your regular working clothes.

It must be remembered that the well-bred girl is always fully clothed in the office. The broken shoulder strap, the deeply split skirt, and the bare midriff are de trop in most businesses. The bright girl soon learns that these devices are not only in bad taste, but are not necessary.

It is not skin area but contour that counts.

A few simple experiments with sweaters, jerseys, and a slightly smaller dress size will bring pleasing and surprising results. One young lady who made a careful study of contour planning found that results were little short of breath-taking. The male workers were stimulated and encouraged, and though production dropped slightly, it was more than made up for in better morale, and greatly improved esprit de corps.

A common stumbling block to contour planning is occasional lack of contour. However, those not blessed by nature need not be discouraged. Science has come to your rescue! Several good commercial devices may now be purchased freely.

The fact that your contour-corrected attire may seem sexy should not disturb you. Sex will be farthest from the male interviewer's thoughts! He will be thinking of your mind. However, he will have learned in the School of Hard Knocks that good minds are most often found in good bodies, and that beauty and brains only too often go hand in hand!

The Casual Manner

Always remember that in business there are plenty of grubby little people to do the work, but a person of real charm is a pearl indeed. This is what your interviewer will be seeking and you must help him (or her) to find it.

Remain relaxed, casual, friendly, and sympathetic. Imply that you, too, have sat on his side of the desk.

"I know what a nasty chore this interviewing is," you say.

"You get used to it."

"I wouldn't mind if it were always people like us."

Note the "people like us." It is always well to include the interviewer.

Some other valuable phrases:

"The money is secondary. I'd like to be one of you people."

Or:

"The human values are the important thing, don't you think?"

Don't be Pinned Down

He will be interested in you as a person. Encourage this. But he may ask you specific questions about experience, just to make conversation. Parry these skillfully.

"But exactly what did you do, Mr. Finch?" he may ask.

"All phases of the operation. I'll send you a detailed résumé." (He'll forget this.)

"But couldn't you tell me just one --"

"I like that picture! Van Gogh?" Keep him off balance. But keep things on a high plane!

"Why did You Leave?"

If you are leaving a job, or if you have a job and are seeking a better one, you may be asked, "Why did you leave?" or "Why do you want to leave?"

Even if you were fired, and thrown bodily out the door, remember this: Don't be bitter. This would mark you as a sorehead, or difficult personality.

Remember these phrases:

"They're a grand bunch of people."

Or:

"They were mighty happy years, mighty."

Since this, of course, will not answer your interviewer's question, he may repeat, "Well, then, why did (do) you want to leave?"

Tread carefully here! The impression you want to convey is that you can get along with anyone, no matter how difficult. Imply that you, somehow, were above them.

"I felt that I had outgrown them," is useful.

Or:

"Let's face it. They're not up to you People."

Or:

"Well, it's an old outfit. I want to work with young men." (If the interviewer is young.)

Or: (if he is old):

"Somehow they seem a bit callow. I want a shop with experience!"

After a few such interviews you will be hired quickly. You will then have your foot on the first rung of the ladder.

(Next month: "How to Rise from the Mail Room.").

Suppose you happen to run into the head of a large corporation.

Sex will be farthest from the male interviewer's thoughts!

Raconteur

Back Slapper

Imbiber

Back Stabber

Hand Shaker

Politician

Poker Player

Decision Maker