Open Season on Bachelors

June is a very important month to the women.

Tradition – and society columnists – decree that a female without a mate by June is washed up matrimonially for the year. So in the month of orange blossoms, woman's pursuit of man reaches its climax.

Woman becomes more heated, more desperate – and much more dangerous. She asks no quarter and gives none.

If the besieged bachelor is to escape with his skin, he must either take to the hills or arm himself with some fundamental facts about his adversary. To understand the enemy is to be protected against her.

Realizing that a June-inspired girl is twice as lethal as the common July-to-May variety, the male who prizes his freedom must remember these truths:

1.)Woman wants to be a wife long before man wants to be a husband.

Unlike many-sided man, woman has only one goal in life – marriage. In infancy she plays house. In adolescence, she dreams of her "Prince Charming." In her teens, she packs a "hope chest." Before she is twenty, she is hungering – and scheming – for a life of "wedded bliss."

If she goes to college, it isn't for an education. She's interested in just one subject–animal husbandry. And you're the animal.

Should the academic life prove unproductive, she becomes a sophisticated 9-to-5 "career girl." But the career she has set for herself is landing a man.

At social gatherings, and on dates, she may seem gay and carefree, but don't be taken in. Under the smile and the light laugh, she's deadly serious. She's making plans – big plans – life-long plans – and they include a man – quite possibly you

And as the years pass – as twenty turns into twenty-one – and then into twenty-two, the marriage-urge becomes more intense. Interest turns into concern – concern into anxiety – anxiety into panic! A single male is a bachelor all of his years; a single woman, after twenty-five, is an old maid.

It is often suggested that woman is more romantic than man. If you'll excuse an ecclesiastical expression–phooey!

Man is the real romantic. It is man who loves freedom, exploration, adventure, the conquest of new worlds, the search for new truths.

All woman wants is security. And she's perfectly willing to crush man's adventurous, freedom-loving spirit to get it.

2.)Watch out for sex.

This sounds like the sort of advice mothers give to bright-eyed female virgins, ages ten to fourteen, and you may be wondering what it's doing in a man-to-man article like this. Patience, and you will see.

From Bathsheba to Babs Hutton, woman has developed numerous plots and counter-plots to defeat man. Her single, most decisive weapon is sex.

The uses and abuses of sex are endless.

If she won't let you, she'll go out of her way to get you hot and bothered, then give you the "not until we're married" business.

If she will let you, you'll get the "you took advantage of me, now you've got to marry me" routine.

And, in extreme cases, you'll be subjected to the "I'm pregnant" technique, which may or may not be true, and if it is, may or may not have anything to do with you.

Sex also has a number of subtler ramifications. The clever girl can tease a fellow along until he's so worked up he confuses passion for love.

Or, she may use the "yes-no" technique, a variation of the old "now-you-see-it-now-you-don't" shell game, in which the girl crawls all over the fellow when they're in a crowd and won't let him near her when they're alone.

"What's with this doll?" he mumbles. "She makes with the eyes in public and the elbows in private."

There's a reason – there always is.

The open display of affection convinces the guy's friends that the girl is crazy about him and that she is a very desirable dish; the hands off attitude when they're alone keeps him continually frustrated and unsure of himself. With public prompting supported by his own private urgings, the man weakens, falters and is hooked.

Woman often takes advantage of man's innate goodness. The "you took advantage of me" technique works because man, basically, is a good fellow and wants to do the right thing. The smart girl parlays these sterling qualities into feelings of guilt over some trifling affair, and with a little more psychological hocus pocus, convinces the sucker that the guilt feelings are really love. A neat swap – the girl's virtue (?) for a life of security and relative ease.

3.) Never underestimate the adversary.

You're most vulnerable when you think you've got the upper hand. Don't drop your guard for a moment. Start assuming that these truths only apply to the other guys' girls and that the sweet young thing that's been hanging around your door is the exception, and, brother, you've had it.

Face up to the problem squarely. Consider what's at stake. Take a good look at the sorry, regimented husbands trudging down every woman-dominated street in this woman-dominated land. Check what they're doing when you're out on the town with a different dish every night – see how often the "little woman" lets them enjoy those all night poker sessions and weekend fishing trips.

Take a good look at the men who've already fallen into the pit. Look – but don't bother asking their advice. Almost to the man, they'll tell you marriage is the greatest. Naturally. Do you expect them to admit they made the biggest mistake of their lives? Even a man married ten years has some pride left. Besides, married men want bachelors to get hooked. Misery loves company.

None of this is meant to suggest that you become a hermit or stick to strictly male company. Not on your life. The true playboy can enjoy the pleasures the female has to offer with – out becoming emotionally involved. Like the little bee, he flits from flower to flower, sipping the sweet nectars where he finds them, but never tarries too long at any one blossom.

Armed with the basic truths set down here, you may successfully avoid wedlock during this month of June. You may, in fact, continue to enjoy the freedom of bachelorhood indefinitely. You may, but we doubt it.