Testing Your Personality

Everyone has a personality. Personalities fall into two basic categories, Extroverted and Introverted. Introverts and Extroverts are easily recognized with the naked eye, but when you try to define the more subtle variations of these types you need help.

In my studies of people, I've found no better or more easily applied method of determining Personality Type than the Schwine-Kitzenger Test.

The Schwine-Kitzenger Test was devised by Dr. Schwine and Dr. Kitzenger, who came from opposite schools of psychology. Actually, Schwine and Kitzenger only had one thing in common – Mrs. Schwine.

This awkward situation, if it had involved persons who were not so well adjusted, might have created a problem that would have interfered with their work. You see, Schwine knew that Kitzenger was fond of Mrs. Schwine, and Kitzenger knew that Schwine knew that he was, etc.

But being scientists, rational and civilized men, they approached the situation unemotionally and worked out an adult solution. Whenever Schwine would come home unexpectedly and discover Kitzenger with Mrs. Schwine, Kitzenger would grab a baseball bat and beat the bejezus out of him.

To get back to the test (I believe that pausing to include a little human-interest story such as the above lends a note of warmth and personal understanding to the study of these theories) – as it is now used, the Schwine-Kitzenger Test is the climax of a long series of painstaking experiments. Originally, it was based on the Rorschach Ink-Blot Test, which is, of course, well known to all of you readers who have been treated for mental disorders. For the benefit of any readers who have not been treated for mental disorders (the group we refer to as the "Squares"), the Rorschach Test consists of showing a succession of ink blots to a subject and then analyzing his reactions to them.

The Schwine-Kitzenger Test was an imaginative extension of this. Schwine and Kitzenger would have the subject come into the office and sit down on a fried egg.

Then they would analyze the seat of his trousers.

This was messy, but profitable, as on the side Kitzenger ran a cleaning establishment.

In the light of present-day knowledge, the results obtained seem crude, but then, we must remember, so were Schwine and Kitzenger.

Let us glance at a few sample of analyses obtained by this method. (Figure 1, reprinted by permission from The American Poultryman Journal, April 2, 1935.)

Schwine and Kitzenger were forced to abandon this test in 1936, when Kitzenger's license was revoked (not his medical license, but his cleaning-establishment license). The next two years were spent trying out other types of tests.

One device was quite ingenious, but it could only be used to determine the Personality Type of males. They would take the subject and lock him in a room with a young lady (a Miss Patricia Delray). In one wall of the room was a concealed window, and once the subject was locked in, Schwine and Kitzenger would peep through the window and study what went on. Occasionally they would invite scientifically minded friends over to peep through the window with them. The tests attracted so much interest that soon they weren't able to accommodate all of the friends who would drop by, even after they raised the prices.

They had to give up this test because of an accident. One evening the bleachers Kitzenger had put up collapsed, and fourteen members of the Elks' Club were injured.

It wasn't until 1944 that Schwine and Kitzenger thought of the idea upon which the present test is based, doodles. Now, doodles are little drawings we make with our subconscious mind (or a pencil; whichever is handier) while our conscious mind is busy talking on the telephone or something.

From a study of doodles, we (Schwine, Kitzenger, and I) are able to tell just what kind of personality the doodler has.

There are several basic types of doodles. Figure II, called the "conservative doodle," consists of geometric shapes drawn so as to form an orderly, balanced design.

If you make this type of doodle, you have a stable, organized personality, a mathematical approach to life, and wear long-johns in the winter.

Another, more involved, type looks like Figure III.

If you are this sort of doodler, you have a highly developed imagination and a dangerous sacroiliac condition.

Sometimes, the doodles take strange elongated forms, like Figure IV.

This doodle indicates only one thing – hiccups.

Many people doodle with words and symbols, instead of drawings. Recently I came across an interesting example that looked like Figure V.

This is a rather specialized doodle, being done exclusively by night-club waiters.

Figure VI is another example of the specialized doodle.

This doodle was drawn by Mrs. Schwine while she was talking on the telephone to Dr. Schwine. It shows a generous, affectionate nature and a great interest in murder mysteries.

"Murder mysteries" bring to mind an example of how this test was able to help a friend of mine, Maxwell M–––.*

Back home, everyone always expected that Maxwell would do big things in the world because he had always been so precocious. He was the only baby in town who ever sucked his thumb through a straw. But as Maxwell grew up he couldn't seem to find his niche in life, and no one could help him because no one in town knew what "niche" meant.

I decided to try to help Maxwell by analyzing his personality, and I had him collect a few of his doodles. (See Figure VII)

From these doodles, I determined that Maxwell was best suited for detective work, and later events bore out my opinion one hundred per cent.

Maxwell got a job on the police force. One day a home was burglarized by a thief who wore calfskin gloves. Maxwell was assigned to the case and took fingerprints of everything. After studying the fingerprints carefully, he whipped into action. And just six months later he arrested a cow in Kansas City.

Summary: Using this test, you should now be able to analyze your own personality in no time at all. If you have any trouble, you can bring your doodles to Schwine and Kitzenger personally. Warning: Do not send your doodles through the mails. Schwine and Kitzenger have had a lot of trouble with the postal authorities in this regard. Telephone Mrs. Schwine in New York for an appointment.

Bibliography: Kitzenger, My Method of Testing Personality with Doodles (1944), Schwine. My Method of Testing Personality with Doodles; Kitzenger Had Nothing to Do with it (1945).

Fried egg before test

Stain No. 1 Subject untrustworthy sits down sideways

Stain No. 2 Subject cautious: very careful sitter

Stain No. 3 Subject is fat

* This is not an attempt to conceal his identity. M––– happened to be his last name.

Figure I (Scale 1/20th actual size)

Figure II

Figure III

Figure IV

Figure V

Figure VI

Figure VII