Business Meetings

The farmer spends his time in the fields, the laborer at his machine, and the businessman at meetings.

You may feel at first that the meeting is a waste of time, a useless expenditure of energy, accomplishing little. Nothing could be farther from the truth!

A meeting is a Sounding Board, a Confluence of the Minds, a means of preventing junior executives from hiding their lights under a bushel.

The object of a meeting is not, as the very young believe, to solve the problem at hand, but to impress the people there. And for this purpose, of course, the larger the meeting the better.

If you are new to business, you have small inkling of the happy hours that lie ahead, the little glows of triumph, the camaraderie, and the tingling, heady sensation of hearing your own voice!

But these rich wines are not to be gulped willy-nilly. There are many bitter lessons to learn. Study carefully the following outline of the strategy and tactics of meetings.

1. Never Be at a Loss for Words. If you cannot give a ringing, extemporaneous speech -- and so few can -- it is wise to prepare a series of little talks, complete with gestures and a few jolly anecdotes, that will fit the subject (continued on page 45) Business Meeting (continued from page 13) of any meeting. Some suggested topics:

"We've all got to Pull Together on this!"

Or:

"We'll lick them at their own game, damn it!"

Other dandy ones will come to you.

2. Be Decisive. Your own mind must always be clear, and made up, whether or not you understand what everybody is talking about. Leave the shilly-shallying to others. Yours must be the steady hand to which others turn.

3. But Avoid a Decision. There is an anticlimactic, soggy feeling about a meeting after a decision has been reached. There is little danger of this, as we will see, but don't relax. You will know that the problem at hand is only the excuse for the meeting. Yet to some, your remarks -- inspiring as they may be -- will have a hollow ring if delivered after the decision.

Follow this easy method, if a meeting is in danger of ending:

"Well, that seems to button up the matter, eh Finch?"

"Really? I don't get any nourishment out of that at all! Let's re-examine!"

(You can always re-examine.)

4. The Sleeper Play. Never speak first. Let the others talk themselves out. Then come slowly into action:

"As I sit here and listen to all of you, it seems to me that there's one basic fallacy to all your reasoning."

(At this point, go ahead and say what you had planned to say in the first place. It is not necessary to have listened, except in a general way, to what has gone before.)

5. The "If George Were Only Here" Device. If someone opposes you, try to have the meeting when he is out of town. Then preface your remarks with: "If George were only here I'm sure he'd agree that -- " Proceed then to demolish George's entire position.

6. The All-Out Attack, or Sweeping the Meeting Off Its Feet. Effective, yes, and exhilarating, too! Some prefer simple shouting or table pounding, but the true virtuoso can cry, roll on the floor, stand on furniture, remove clothing, gag, spit, and use flip cards and slide films. All these have their places.

7. Underplay. A good variation of the above is the reverse twist. You can create a crushing effect by underplaying. Assume a wounded expression, and say in a tiny, hurt voice:

"Why do you do this to me?"

This is most effective if you have previously terrorized the meeting, or if you have a reputation for unusual ruthlessness.

8. The Filibuster. This is of value only if an opponent has to make a train or see a customer or client. Read a file of fifty or sixty letters, more or less related to the subject.

9. Be a Meeting-Leaver. The true Meeting-Leaver rarely attends meetings -- he just leaves them. This is good. It places you somehow above the meeting you're leaving, and implies that you're going to another that is more important.

"Wish I could stay with you fellows. Another meeting, you know -- "

At the other meeting (and there is always another meeting somewhere) you say the same thing -- but do not return to the first meeting. Remember this. Never go back!

10. Beware the Do-It-Now-er! At every meeting there will be some crude fellow who does not understand the true purpose of the Meeting as a Forum and Sounding Board. He will always try to "get something done." He may open a meeting like this:

"Well, fellows, this is something we really should be able to decide in five minutes. I just want a quick reaction."

He will soon find himself without friends -- and perhaps without employment.

Occasionally something will have to be decided. The decision will be made by the one really in authority, who wouldn't have attended the meeting anyway.

"Well, Finch, what did you boys decide?"

"Uh, we didn't quite resolve it, J. B. But it was a good meetting." (Meetings are always "good" meetings.) "I think we all see the problem clearly. I presented my case about buying, both pro and con."

"Mostly pro, I hope. I bought it this morning."

From "How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying," copyright, 1952, by Shepherd Mead, published by Simon & Schuster.

The Filibuster.

The All-Out Attack!