College Drinking Songs

Her Mother Never Told her

'Twas a cold winter's evening,

The guests were all leaving,

O'Leary was closing the bar.

When he turned and he said,

To the lady in red:

"Get out! 'You can't stay where you are!"

Oh, she wept a sad tear

In her bucket of beer,

As she thought of the cold night ahead,

When a gentleman dapper

Stepped out of the crapper,

And these are the words that he said:

"Her mother never told her

The things a young girl should know.

About the ways of college boys

And how they come and go,

(Mostly go).

Now age has taken her beauty,

And sin has left its sad scar,

so remember your mothers and sisters, boys,

and let her sleep under the bar."

Paddy Murphy

The night that Paddy Murphy died,

I never shall forget!

The whole damn town got stinking drunk,

And some ain't sober yet.

There is one thing they did that night

That filled my heart with fear:

They took the ice right off the corpse

And put it in the beer.

That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy,

That's how they showed their honor and their pride.

That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy,

On the night that Paddy died.

Mimi the College Widow

Mimi the college widow,

Pride of the University.

Mimi the college widow,

Taught all the boys anatomy.

Mimi the college widow,

To know her is to love her, so they say.

She laid the cornerstone of knowledge,

In fact, the whole damn college,

That's Mimi the college widow.

Far beyond Cayuga's waters,

There's an awful smell--Cornell!

Mimi met a football hero,

Shot the team to hell.

He was a rambling wreck from Georgia tech.

And a helluva engineer.

He must have been an architect,

'Cause he left his blueprints here.

Where?

Here!

Oh.

She was loyal to you, Illinois,

'Till you gave her a boy, Illinois.

She thought you were her fame protector,

But she did not expect a

Victory from you, Illinois.

Sweetheart of Sigma Chi

The girl of my dreams is the sweetest girl

I've ever had in bed.

She drinks, she smokes, she tells dirty jokes,

There's not a clean thought in her head.

She thinks that gin makes the world go 'round,

She can drink more than you or I.

Oh, the moonlight beams on the girl of my dreams,

She's the sweetheart of six other guys.

Notre Dame Drinking Song

Beer, beer for old Notre Dame,

You bring the whiskey, I'll bring champagne.

Send the freshman out for gin,

Don't let a sober sophomore in.

We never stagger, we never fall,

We sober up on wood alcohol.

While our loyal sons are marching,

Back to the bar for more.

Fraternity Man

Here's how to tell a good fraternity man:

Tailor-made clothes and a pipe in his hand.

He has that haughty air; Attitude: I don't care,

Gee, but he's debonair. Oh, you frat man!

To polish the apple is his favorite sport,

That's how he gets his grades -- C -- C -- C.

Daddy thinks it's funny, how he spends his money,

For he's a fraternity, talk about fraternity,

He's a fraternity man!

Oh, yeah?

Well --

Here's how to tell a good fraternity man,

White buckskin shoes and a beer in his hand.

Never a date on time, always the same old line,

Always a parking fine. Oh, you frat man!

He knows just how to bum your last cigaret,

And blow those rings of smoke -- smoke -- smoke -- smoke.

Gets his pin on Sunday; out again on Monday,

'Cause he's a fraternity, talk about fraternity,

He's a fraternity man!

Mother

M is for the Many times you made me,

O is for the Other times you tried.

T is for those Tourist cabin weekends,

H is for the Hell that's in your eyes.

E is for the Everlasting passion,

R is for the Reek you made of me.

Put them all together, they spell

Mother,

And that is what I think I'm going

to be.

F is for the Funny little letter,

A is for this Answer to your note.

T is for the Tearful, sad occasion,

H is for your Hope that I'm a goat.

E is for the Ease with which I made you,

R is for the Rube you think I'll be.

Put them all together, they spell Father,

But you're crazy if you think it's me!

Minnie The Mermaid

Oh, what a time I had with Minnie the mermaid,

Minnie the mermaid

Down at the bottom of the sea.

There among the corals,

Minnie lost her morals,

My, but she was mighty good to me.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

Two twin beds, and just one of them mussed.

Oh, you can easily see she's not my mother,

'Cause my mother's forty-nine.

And you can easily see she's not my sister,

'Cause I wouldn't show my sister such a helluva good time.

And you can easily see she's not my girl friend,

'Cause my girl friend's too refined.

She's just a helluva good kid, who never cared what she did.

She's a personal friend of mine.