Playboy at the Punch Bowl

playboy's food & drink editor

In the entire history of man's ruin, which began ages and ages ago, no scholar has ever observed a lone drinker staggering around a punch bowl.

Solitary rum soaks of all types have been seen bending their elbows in deserted bars, in caves, dens and dugouts. But whenever a punch bowl appears, a happy mob of hell raisers gathers around.

Any playboy, for instance, entertaining his friends, can go to the cabinet to mix martinis and nobody will be conscious of his movements or his moonshine. He can split a cake of ice with an axe, drop a whole trayful of glasses, spill the gin down his drawers and nobody will bat a whisker. But let him announce that he is setting up a punch bowl and he will have as much privacy as a man taking a bath in full view of the spectators at an Army-Yale football game. The gang will rush to his side with all the grace of a dozen beer barrels rolling down a flight of cellar steps. They'll offer him advice, suggestions, recipes and philosophy. They'll tell him to add a little more African tangerine brandy or mix in just a little more ether. In short, they'll be sociable.

If there is a young etymologist in the room, he'll at once point out that the word "punch" as applied to punch bowl is not the same from a semantic view-point as the word punch meaning kick in the guts. The etymologist, shouting above the din, will explain that the punch in punch bowl comes from the Hindustani panch meaning five. Somebody will then shout "Five what?" There will be as many interpretations as there are guzzlers present.

One authority will be cited to say that the five naturally means the five characteristics of punch -- hot, cold, sweet, bitter and strong. Another booze etymologist will argue that five refers to the classical ingredients of early American punch bowls: rum, tea, sugar, water and fruit. An explorer will call them all idiots and describe the famous oriental swizzle he drank for years containing tea, water, sugar, lemon and arrack. Someone will try to allay the rising voices by explaining simply that anybody who has ever attended a New Year's party must certainly have tasted egg nog, which, any child will tell you, contains five ingredients--egg, milk, sugar, liquor and nutmeg.

As the voices continue to rise in greater and greater volume, someone will spot a bottle of Hays Five Fruit Syrup on the shelf and offer this as his final interpretation of the word punch. At this point gentlemen start to remove their coats. Ladies scream. The more agile guests reach for cuspidors preparatory to hurling them across the room when the host quickly announces that punch is ready and the incipient mayhem breaks off as quickly as it started.

Even while the drink is being poured, the variegated experts will continue to cross swords under their breath. "Why, these aren't the real punch cups -- they're imitation Lowestoft," one ceramic specialist will point out quietly. "They're not punch cups at all," another will hasten to add, "they're Delmonico glasses." "You call these Delmonico glasses! Don't you know a whiskey sour glass when you see one?" "There's only one real punch glass in the world," an antique dealer will state solemnly. "Now at a special sale in Nassau in 1933," he'll continue, and then suddenly become speechless as he examines the grayish orange mixture which the host has just presented. As each person holds his cup of punch there will be a "Prosit" or two, a "Was Hail" from the rear of the room, a few scattered "Cheerios" and all the guests will swallow the punch simultaneously.

There will, of course, be a communal reaction. Not a word will be heard as the guests take their first big gulp. Lips will pucker, esophagi will burn, tears will appear and as the punch finally settles on the stomachs there will be a symphony of muffled blasts. Then silence.

The silence will only last a few minutes, however, and then all the guests will converge upon the host, at last having attained unanimity of opinion. Breathlessly, they will all tell him that his punch is magnificent.

As round after round of punch is passed, the conviviality will naturally mount. Authorities will again become expansive. The antiquarian will examine the cut glass punch bowl on the table and tell of the famous MacGregor bowl with its elaborate cover of carved bone that sold two decades ago for $50,000. An Irishman present will describe the old glass punch bowl with the spigot at the bottom, a wonderful improvement over the ladle, which for some unknown reason never caught on. Englishmen will describe the New Year's Wassail, a punch made of hot ale, roasted apples and spices. A Texas girl will tell how her great great grandfather celebrated New Year's day in the camp of Lafitte and of how the buccaneers spiked their rum punch with hot peppers.

Young philosophers and history students will soon come around to the subject of original sin and this will inspire someone to recite Henry VIII's list of gifts for January 1, 1528 -- which included presents for Wolsey and Warham, the dukes of Norfolk and Suffolk, and thirty-three noble ladies and ten mistresses.

A student of sociology will describe all New Year's celebrations from the medieval ages to the present as simply a relaxation of the bent bow. The bent bow is the taut bow, the tense rigid path of suppression and virtue. Comes New Year's Eve and the bent bow unbends with a double-distilled zing heard 'round the world.

The punchbowl is still one of the easiest and most direct ways of unbending the gang during the holiday season. If you are giving a party of mixed sexes, the traffic around the punch bowl will generate more leg sidling, more back contacts and more bosom brushing than any other form of conviviality known to man.

The mere existence of the punch bowl on the buffet table will cause playmates to periodically gravitate toward it. If you want to meet the girl with the copper hair and bronze eyebrows, you simply wait until her cup is empty and she is drawn to the magnet. You don't have to warble "Drink to me only with thine eyes," in your best whiskey tenor voice. You simply time things so that your bodies approach the center of interest (the punch bowl) at the same time. In a matter of seconds you have a closeup of her eyes, her complexion, her lips and voice. If you're really inquisitive, you can ladle the punch into her cup and escort her back to the chair. If the punch is potable and potent, you are bound to discover her name, phone number and what she is doing tomorrow night at half past seven.

One of the greatest delights of the punch bowl is that there are no a la carte orders. You don't ask guests what they'll have to drink. Nor do you attempt to memorize sixteen different orders at one time. You don't rack your brain trying to recall that the girl at the fireplace wanted a creme de menthe frappé, that the man with her ordered an Irish whiskey with three rocks and that the creep in the corner wanted an absinthe drip cocktail or was it applejack? You shoot the works in a generous one-for-all splurge.

The big bowl with whole bottles of liquor emptied into it at one time is not for pinch penny gents with cramps in their hands, although the cost of punch for a given number of people is no more than the cost of conventional highballs and cocktails. In some cases the punch bowl is actually an economy. A champagne punch, for instance, will have all the glamor of popping corks and laughing water. But instead of using an imported vintage champagne you would use good domestic champagne at half the price of the foreign article.

Punch enthusiasts will tell you that you can make punch in anything from a lard bucket to an Andalusian wine jug. Metallic containers, however, may impart an off-flavor especially if the punch is held for any considerable length of time. Glass bowls and glass cups or "Delmonico" glasses (the four-ounce or five-ounce glasses used for serving orange juice) are the happiest combination for any punch bowl party. If you do not own a glass punch bowl, you might borrow one from a friend or rent one from a caterer. If you do not care to acquire a bowl for a single occasion, you might use glass water pitchers or tall martini pitchers.

For all punches except egg nog, use a large solid block of ice. If this is unobtainable in your neighborhood, make the ice in the refrigerator but leave out the separators that are normally used in the ice trays.

There are no strict rules covering the ingredients in a punch bowl. Some punch recipes are completely without rhyme or reason and may contain anything from egg, beer, milk and sugar mixed together for the Transylvanian Beer Punch to a medley of grape juice, barley sugar and strawberries. This kind of ad libbing is cute at times. You can if you wish, take any liquid -- wine, whiskey, fruit juice, carbonated water or tea -- mix them in an unplanned order and the result may be a drink that is happily potable. But much more trustworthy are the traditional recipes that are brought up to date with just enough variations to make them intriguing without being daffy.

For the coming New Year's festivities, Playboy presents its party tested punch bowl recipes. These are all midwinter punches and do not include such hot weather drinks as rum fruit punch, Rhine wine punch, etc. Recipes are for approximately one gallon or enough to fill 32 punch cups of average size.

[recipe_title]Whiskey Punch[/recipe_title]

It isn't necessary to buy the most expensive rye in the world but you should select a rye with a straight (continued on page 40) Punch Bowl (continued from page 17) '"clean" taste like Four Roses or Bellows Partners Choice. This is one of the least giddy of all punches, a pleasant drink with enough kick to bring the gang back again and again to the bowl. Use freshly squeezed fruit juices or frozen fruit juice. Avoid canned juice.

[drinkRecipe]2 quarts rye[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 pint orange juice[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 pint lemon juice[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 cup sugar[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 lemons sliced thin[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 quart sparkling water[/drinkRecipe]

Put the fruit juices, sugar and sliced lemon in the punch bowl. Stir until the sugar dissolves. Place a large chunk of ice in the bowl. Pour the rye and sparkling water over the ice. Stir well until the punch is icy cold. If the mixture seems too strong, add more sparkling water up to one additional quart.

[recipe_title]Fish House Punch[/recipe_title]

One of the most hallowed of classical Colonial punch recipes. It is the specialty of the "State In Schuylkill," a Philadelphia club organized in 1732. The recipe for Fish House punch, served to both Washington and Lafayette, has not varied much over the years.

[drinkRecipe]1 pint cognac[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 pint golden Puerto Rican or Cuban rum[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 pint Jamaica rum[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 pint lemon juice[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 pound sugar[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 wineglass peach brandy[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 to 2 quarts cold water (not carbonated water)[/drinkRecipe]

Put the sugar in the bowl. Add about 1 cup of the water and stir until sugar is dissolved. Add lemon juice, peach brandy, cognac, both kinds of rum and 1 quart of water. Stir well. Let the mixture stand about 1 hour before serving, so that the flavors can "marry" or blend. Place a large chunk of ice in the punch bowl. Ladle the punch over the ice until the punch is quite cold. Add more cold water if desired. Peach liqueur may be used instead of peach brandy.

[recipe_title]Champagne Punch I[/recipe_title]

Be sure the champagne is ice cold in the bottles before it is poured into the punch bowl. While many champagne punch recipes include sparkling water, ginger ale, tea and other forms of dilution, Playboy likes its champagne as straight and unadorned as possible. In the following recipe, one of the simplest of them all, lemon ice or lemon sherbet is required. To keep the lemon ice from melting too quickly, ask the clerk in the drugstore or ice cream parlor beforehand to keep the lemon ice in the very bottom of the freezer so that it is really frozen solid.

[drinkRecipe]4 quarts domestic dry champagne[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 quart lemon ice, frozen very hard[/drinkRecipe]

About 12 dashes Angostura bitters Place the lemon ice in the punch bowl. Pour the champagne over it. Add the bitters and stir. Pour into glass punch cups or champagne glasses.

[recipe_title]Champagne Punch II[/recipe_title]

For a more dressed up champagne punch bowl, assemble the following ingredients:

[drinkRecipe]3 quarts iced dry domestic champagne[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 cup maraschino liqueur[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 cup cognac[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 teaspoon orange bitters[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 oranges sliced thin[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 lemon sliced thin[/drinkRecipe]

Put the maraschino liqueur, the cognac, orange bitters and sliced fruit in the bowl. Stir well. Let the mixture "brew" at least one hour. Place a large chunk of ice in center of the bowl. Pour the champagne over the ice. Stir well.

[recipe_title]Brandy Egg Nog[/recipe_title]

One of the easiest egg nogs is made by combining 1 cup of either brandy, whiskey or rum with 1 quart prepared egg nog mix furnished by dairies. The drink is palatable except that most of the preparations contain artificial rum flavor, a minor damnation of modern living.

Princetonians will recognize the following recipe for brandy egg nog which for years was served at the Princeton Club of New York. It's a mellow sophisticated drink, a wonderful comfort for the day after New Year's Eve.

[drinkRecipe]12 eggs[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]3 quarts milk[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]3/4 bottle cognac or Spanish grape brandy[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 cup Jamaica rum[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/2 pint heavy cream[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1/3 cup sugar[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Grated nutmeg[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Separate the egg yolks from the whites.[/drinkRecipe]

In a punch bowl combine the egg yolks and sugar. Beat well with a wire whisk or rotary egg beater. Borrow these gadgets from the landlady or a neighbor if necessary. Gradually add the cognac, rum, milk and cream. Beat well. Place the bowl in the refrigerator, removing shelves if necessary, for at least 2 hours. Just before serving the punch, beat the egg whites, in a separate bowl, until stiff, using a rotary egg beater. Add the egg whites to the punch bowl mixture. Fold the egg whites in -- that is, do not mix them with a round-the-bowl movement but use the wire whisk in a down-over-up stroke until the egg whites are blended with the other ingredients. Ladle the punch into the cups. Sprinkle with nutmeg.