We doubt if any man nowadays puts a piece of toast in the bottom of his highball to improve the flavor, but at one time it was a standard ingredient of the cup that cheers. A soggy custom, perhaps, but it survives in the word we use to describe the friendly benediction good fellows bestow on each other when their glasses clink. Playboy recently toured the better bars and bistros, making note of some of the choicest toasts. We're passing them on to you with the hope that you'll find them livelier than the routine Skoal, Prosit, L'chayim, Na zdrowie, or Mud in your eye.
Here's to it:
The birds do it.
The bees do it and die.
The dogs do it and get hung to it.
Why don't you and I?
May you live as long as you want to,
and want to as long as you live!
He is not drunk
Who, from the floor,
Can rise again
And drink some more.
But he IS drunk
Who prostrate lies
And cannot drink
And cannot rise.
To our wives and sweethearts:
may they never meet!
Here's to good old whiskey,
So amber and so clear.
'Tis not so sweet as woman's lips,
But a damned sight more sincere.
Here's champagne to our real friends
and real pain to our sham friends.
Here's to the man who takes a wife,
Let him make no mistake:
For it makes a world of difference
Whose wife it is you take.
I'll toast the girls who do,
I'll toast the girls who don't.
But not the girls who say they will
And later decide they won't.
But the girl I'll toast from break of day
To the wee hours of the night
Is the girl who says, "I never have--
But just for you, I might!"
May you be in Heaven half an hour
before the Devil discovers you're dead.
To the love that lies in women's eyes,
And lies, and lies, and lies.
Here's to you,
So sweet and good.
God made you.
I wish I could.
May those who love truly be always believed,
And may those who deceive be always deceived.
Here's to woman! Would that
we could fall into her arms
without falling into her hands.
May it never fail ya:
Your genitalia!
