The Top of the Heap

From "how to succeed in business without really trying." Copyright. 1992. By shepherd mead. Published by simon & schuster. Inc.

If you have faithfully followed these articles as they have appeared in Playboy, diligently studied and absorbed them, given them, in short, the best of yourself, then you are now ready for The Last Word.

You will have learned how to apply for a job, how to be a junior executive, and how to stop being a junior executive. The science of planning your day will have been mastered, and the rigorous discipline of delegating responsibility taken like a man. Business meetings will be child's play for you when you enter the world of affairs, the writing of memos second nature. You will assume the roles of Idea Man and FairHaired Boy with equal ease, handle your ad agency with aplomb, make research work for you without expending your own valuable energy, and play company politics with the dash of the born diplomat. You will know how to create the impression of having attended the same school as your employer; you will be familiar with the Drafty-Office or Frideful-Code-Id-The-Head technique so useful in obtaining better working quarters; you will be well-versed in the Worked-All-Night or Is-It-Morning-Al-ready? stratagem, as well as the occasional Quality-Check-At-The-Plant for that much-needed rest during the day. You will be aware of the wisdom of sharing enthusiasm for your employer's hobby. Finally, you will have learned the subtle mysteries of sex in business, tactfully unveiled in our last issue.

And so, by applying these precious teachings, you will climb the ladder of success, rung by painful rung, until you have reached the top. Then you, too, will be called the Old Man or some other rough-and-ready term of endearment.

Continue to look ahead: There will always be new horizons.

But remember, too, that it is now your duty to look back, to lend a helping hand to those who are following (continued on next page) Top of The Heap (continued from page 53) you along the road. It is your mission now to be a Big Brother.

Share Your Experience

It should be easy for you, remembering the hard knocks you received, to smooth the path, to lighten the load for those younger and perhaps weaker ones who follow.

Talk to them, as many of them as you can get together at once, and preferably where they will have an opportunity to hear you all the way through without having to leave.

The company dinner is a fine spot for such a talk! Weigh your words carefully, they will be remembered.

"– and as I look upon your young, eager faces, I remember the day I started at Biggley and Finch, which was then, of course, just Biggley and Company. And I remember my watchword – Work – W-O-R-K – Work! Gentlemen, there is no short cut to success, no substitute for hard work, for courage, for loyalty, and, men, for GUTS!"

You should be able to go on in this vein for some time, happy in the knowledge that you are building character with every word.

Save Them From Themselves

Great as your inspiration may be, there will be some who will try to take the short cut, the easy way. It is your duty to save them from themselves, to set them upon the right path.

"It's young Bibber, Mr. Finch."

"Who?"

"Young Bibber, sir, that nice boy who says he's from Old Ivy."

"Throw the little rotter out, Miss Jones!"

"But Mr. –"

"And throw out that mangy flower, too!"

Let them realize that your personal friendship can never take the place of real honest sweat – or of clear, level thinking, either!

"Bibber, sir, Spruance Bibber! Just happened to hit on a promising idea. Bit daring, sir. How about putting more excelsior in the wicket shipments?"

"Your own idea, Bibber?"

"Oh, yes, sir."

"Then let me remind you that we've been doing it ever since I wrote that memo on it in 1937!"

Be tireless in your efforts to point their young eager noses in the right direction.

"Just wondered how you rated my old office, Bibber."

"It's this code, Mr. Finch. Frideful draft in my ode place –"

"We'll find you a nice warm spot, son. There's a cozy corner in back of the old mimeograph machine."

Remember, as the twig is bent so the tree grows. Keep bending it!

(concluded on page 60)

Top of The Heap(continued from page 54)

"Oh, working this morning, Bibber?"

"Gosh, is it morning already, Mr. Finch?"

"Yes, and it just started to rain. Better take your umbrella into the hall. It's dripping on the carpet."

You will have a happy glow indeed as you see the young twigs growing, the branches sprouting, and even the first fruit forming on the boughs. But you still cannot cease your encouragement, cannot withdraw your helping hand.

"Think I'll run out to the plant, Mr. Finch. Quality check."

"Good, Bibber, good. I'll phone you there."

"Well, uh, may be difficult to locate me, sir, I –"

"Don't worry, son, you leave the trouble to us. We'll find you!"

Dedicate Your Leisure Hours

The true Big Brother sacrifices not only the working day, but his leisure hours as well. Time consuming as this may be, you will find that it often brings with it its own reward in opportunities for guidance and building of character. Surround yourself with members of your own Team, and fill your leisure hours to overflowing.

"You, too, Mr. Finch? Might have known to look at you that you were a compost-heap man!"

"Great Scott, Bibber, it's a small world!"

"Does something to me, sir. I can just stand there and watch it rot."

"Maybe you'd like to drop around over the week end and muck around with us."

"Well, I'd, uh, I sure would, sir."

"You'll have to do most of the hard work, boy, but you won't mind if your heart's in it."

The exercise will do them a world of good, but don't feel obligated to push them ahead in the company. The pleasant hours in the healthful sun will be reward enough.

The eager young minds of these striplings will be quick to sense any crosscurrents in the organization. You may use them as wind indicators, as barometers. It will help you to realize that no man stands alone and that others may seek a place beside you.

"Good boy, that young Bibber, eh, Watson?"

"Capital, Finch, capital! Mighty keen man with a tuning fork!"

"Tuning fork?"

"Regular whiz! Been tightening my strings for a fortnight!"

Even after you have nursed and guided the youngsters to posts of real responsibility, you still cannot rest. Your job as a Big Brother is never done.

"Well, now that you have poor Watson's four windows, Bibber, you should be mighty happy!"

"Indeed I am, Ponty. As I was saying to dear old Biggley–before they took him away–what a grand place to work!"

"Well, uh, Spruance, we try to keep Finch and Company a Happy Ship."

"All I ask is to be in your crew, Ponty."

"I'm sure you do, uh, Spruance. It's just that sometimes I see you staring at me rather strangely."

"Admiration, old boy, admiration. After all, I've patterned my life on yours. Matter of fact, Ponty, I was just thinking up a few simple words to say to the stockholders at the next meeting. Thought I'd take my text, so to speak, from the ringing words you spoke to me when I was scarcely a boy. 'Bibber,' you said, 'always remember this–it isn't so much whether you win or lose–but how you play the game!'"

Brave words, indeed, for us all to cherish. It is well for us to remember, too, that kindness and consideration play an ever-increasing role in our business lives.

"You're looking a bit peaked today, Spruance. Think you're due for a nice rest!"

"Well, Ponty, maybe a few weeks in –"

"Nonsense, son! I mean a real rest! Happens we need a new manager at the old fibre chopping plant in Mississippi. Plenty of spare time to relax."

"Damned decent of you, Ponty– but am I really qualified? Gromble deserves that job–he's earned it!"

"How like you, Spruance! No, boy, it's yours. Two or three years down there in the warm sun and you'll be a new man!"

Think of others–and they will think of you.

A Parting Word

And now, as we close this series of articles, who among us will not feel a tingle of anticipation, an urge to follow the footprints that have been laid out so carefully–and stretching we all know where.

May all of us, profiting by this brave example, start out upon the highways and byways of business with new resolve, and with new courage.