Let's Stew It

God Maye Sende a man good meate, but the Deuyll maye sende an euyll coke to dystrue it: so ran a medieval adage that must surely have been written by a sage with a stomachful of bad stew.

For stew – known variously as slumgullion, dumb funk, Black Mike and sometimes slop – too often is Deuyllish indeed: a turgid, mongrel mixture covering a multitude of culinary sins. Certainly the heavy bowl of mediocre mutton that masquerades as lamb stew in many a roadside restaurant is an excellent example of dystrued meate, and army men of every nation can recall a variety of horrors called stew ladled into their mess kits by euyll cokes called mess sergeants.

Never mind – one taste of real stew will dispel the nightmarish memories of a hundred vile ones. From the French navarin de mouton to the Hungarian gulyás; from the Irish scouse to the South American puchero, the fragrance of a fine stew slowly simmering on the kitchen range will set aquiver the nostrils of the most rabid anti-stew man.

When professional chefs take the day off and retire to the quiet precincts of their own kitchens at home, they eat stew. It may be a delicate veal stew with mushrooms or a heady venison in red wine, but it's the kind of homey dish that satisfies the chef's peasant heart as well as his aristocratic head.

One of the criticisms that foreign chefs often level at American cooking is the dryness of so many of the American specialties. The American fried chicken, the ham, the breaded pork chops and even the hamburgers are wrong – in the eyes of foreigners – because these foods are relatively dry even when they're good. A stew, on the other hand, with its rivulets of glossy gravy, its bright scattering of vegetables and tender chunks of moist meat are a deep mealtime oasis, the kind of liquid pleasure you can sink your teeth into.

Culinarians have always suspected that the chief trouble with stews is the fact that they're so easy. The big wide pot known as the Dutch oven is an open invitation to laziness. You can mix pork with veal, forget the herbs, add too much fat, throw in old turnips, leave the gravy unskimmed, and still come up with a distant relative of a stew. You can't do that – and get away with it – when you make a fine roast, a pie or a lobster. This doesn't mean that you should never change stew recipes or never invent your own recipe for stew. But you can't diddle-diddle around, throwing in anything from all-spice to zucchini, unless you know what you're doing.

A stew is one of those creations in which the liquid part, the gravy, is fully as important as the meat itself. As a matter of fact, you can test a good stew by merely sipping the gravy alone. If it's a beef stew Stroganoff, for instance, a few drops of gravy on the tip of your tongue should convey a luscious blend of beef, onions, mushrooms and caraway seed. If any of these flavors singly, hits you in the eye, it's wrong. The stew is still virginal and must stay on the slow fire until all the flavors are welded into a subtle composite blend.

This leads to the heart of the stew man's skill. He must have a kind of godlike patience. Only the languorous, barely visible lapping of the gravy around the meat must be allowed. Electronic cooking methods, pressure cookers and all other hurry-up gadgets or schemes will fail to produce a masterly stew.

To any man who aspires to be a power behind the stew pot, we're happy to proffer the following eight-part advice direct from the inside wire of Playboy's test kitchen:

1. When you go to the butcher shop, never lay your money on so-called "stewing meat" assembled in the display case. This is normally a conglomeration of meat from every portion of the carcass, cut into cubes and marked at a very low price. Instead, order meat from a particular cut specified in the recipe. Tell the butcher, for instance, that you want chuck of lamb or rump of veal or top round of beef or whatever specific cut is indicated as best for the stew you're making.

2. Don't buy meat that's excessively fatty. A moderate amount of fat, such as one finds in some parts of beef chuck, helps to make a superb stew. If there's too much fat, however, it will merely melt as the stew cooks, and rise to the top of the gravy from which it must be skimmed. Every last particle of fat from the top of the stew should be removed before the stew is served. If the stew is kept in the refrigerator overnight, removal of the fat is very easy. As the fat becomes cold, it solidifies, and can be easily lifted or scraped from the top of the stew. While the stew is still warm, remove the fat by tipping the pot slightly and skimming the fat from one end, using a gravy baster, a ladle or a large kitchen spoon.

3. For uniform cooking, stewing meat should be cut into uniform pieces about an inch or an inch-and-a-half square. Don't let the butcher deal out an assortment of huge and teensy chunks.

4. Meat with bones, such as chuck of lamb, should be examined carefully before cooking to remove any small bone splinters.

5. Remember that the sheer weight of the meat, like a gridiron juggernaut, may cause the stew to stick to the bottom of the pot. To avoid scorching, stir the stew frequently but not constantly, scraping the bottom and corner of the pot. Use a heavy metal pot of the Dutch oven type with a tight fitting lid. Use a low, easygoing flame.

6. When piercing the meat to see if the stew is done, try three or four pieces of meat. One piece may require longer cooking than another even though both are from the same cut of meat.

7.The idea that a stew tastes better the second day than the first is often substantially true. The long standing of the stew's ingredients, like the "ripening" of a punch, makes for a more mellow marrying of flavors. Of course, if the stew contains potatoes, the potatoes will lose their freshness the second day even though the meat and gravy flavors have perked up.

8. Finally, if the meat is quite tough (all stewing meat, for reasons of flavor, is not very tender), the pot, in rare instances, may have to remain on the fire so long that the gravy becomes too intense or concentrated in flavor. In this case, the gravy should be diluted with stock or water.

So much for pointers. Here now, are a half-dozen Playboy-tested recipes for stews. (Each dish is designed for four servings.)

[recipe_title]Beef Stew With Vegetables[/recipe_title]

This is the great all-American favorite. Buy the meat cut into 1-inch cubes. For color, sprinkle freshly cooked green peas over the stew on the serving plates. Bring on the main course with a giant tossed green salad. For the epilogue, serve ripe Camembert cheese and coffee.

2 lbs. chuck of beef, cut for stewing

3 tablespoons vegetable fat

1 medium sized onion, minced

1 leek, white part only, minced

1/4 cup flour

1 bay leaf

1/4 teaspoon thyme

3 cups boiling water

3 bouillon cubes

10-oz. can tomatoes, minced

4 carrots, 1/2-inch slices

4 medium size potatoes, quartered

12 small silver onions, peeled

2 dashes Tabasco sauce

Salt, pepper

Sauté the meat in the fat until the meat turns light brown. Sprinkle the onion and leek over the meat. Mix well. Sauté 5 minutes more. Sprinkle the flour over the meat. Mix well. Add the bay leaf, thyme, boiling water, bouillon cubes and tomatoes, stirring well. Add 1 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon pepper. Bring to a boil. Skim. Reduce flame and simmer slowly for 2 hours. Add the silver onions (whole), the carrots and potatoes. Simmer until meat and vegetables are tender. Skim fat. Add brown gravy color if desired. Add Tabasco sauce. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

[recipe_title]Beef Stew Stroganoff[/recipe_title]

The beef for this stew should be cut into 1-inch squares, 1/4 inch thick. It should be lean beef from the top sirloin or top round. At the very end of the cooking, sour cream is added. Care should be taken at this point not to boil the gravy but merely bring it up to the boiling point, or the cream may curdle. Along with the Stroganoff, you'll want buttered egg noodles and glazed young carrots. For dessert, a piece of genuine apple strudel and coffee.

2 lbs. lean stewing beef

1/4 cup vegetable fat

1/2 pound fresh mushrooms

1/4 cup minced onion

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/2 teaspoon dried chervil

3 tablespoons flour

4 cups boiling water

3 bouillon cubes

2 tablespoons caraway seeds

2 tablespoons minced parsley

2 tablespoons tomato paste

1 cup sour cream

Salt, pepper

Melt the fat. Add the beef. Sauté slowly, stirring frequently, until the meat turns brown. Detach the mushroom caps from the stems. Wash well. Cut the caps and stems into slices 1/4 inch thick. Add the mushrooms, onions, garlic and chervil to the pot. Stir 5 minutes more. Stir in the flour, mixing well. Add 3 cups boiling water and the bouillon cubes. Stir well. In a separate small saucepan, combine 1 cup boiling water and the caraway seeds. Simmer 15 minutes. Strain the caraway broth and add it to the stew pot. Discard the caraway seeds. Add the parsley. Simmer slowly until the meat is very tender, about 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Skim the fat from the surface. Stir in the tomato paste. Turn off the flame and slowly stir in the sour cream. When ready to serve, reheat, bringing the gravy up to the boiling point. Add salt and pepper to taste.

[recipe_title]Lamb Stew With Beans[/recipe_title]

The extremely luscious combination of lamb and white pea beans is one which French chefs have had fun with for years. The dried beans are soaked overnight. Half of the beans are then cooked in the stew. The balance are cooked in a separate saucepan. When the stew is done, the beans which were cooked separately are mashed into the stew. This is one of the stews which definitely improves on the second or third day. With the lamb stew and beans, you'll do the right thing by offering buttered fresh broccoli, a bottle of fine rose wine and, for the conclusion, a baba au rhum.

1 cup dried white pea beans

2 cups cold water

2 lbs. chuck of lamb, cut for stewing

3 tablespoons fat

1/4 cup minced onion

1/4 cup minced green pepper

1 clove garlic, minced

1 bay leaf

10-oz. can tomatoes, minced

2 cups boiling water

2 bouillon cubes

Salt, pepper

Soak the beans overnight in the 2 cups cold water. Remove half of the (Concluded on page 71) Let's Stew It (Continued from page 50) beans to a small saucepan. Cover with fresh water. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt. Simmer beans until tender. Add water if necessary during cooking to keep beans from scorching. Set pan aside until stew is done.

Melt the fat in a stew pot. Add the lamb. Sauté until lamb turns brown. Add the onion, green pepper, garlic and bay leaf. Sauté 5 minutes more. Add the tomatoes, the uncooked beans together with the water in which they were soaked, the 2 cups boiling water and the bouillon cubes. Add 1 teaspoon salt and 1/8 teaspoon pepper. Simmer until lamb and beans are tender, about 1 1/2 hours. Mash the beans which were cooked separately, by forcing them through a food mill. Add the mashed beans to the pot. Add salt and pepper to taste.

[recipe_title]Irish Lamb Stew[/recipe_title]

The stew which in Ireland is known as scouse has never caught the fancy of American stew men. Scouse is merely layers of lamb in large pieces, potatoes and onions, covered with water and simmered until tender. More to our liking is the following lamb stew with light gravy thickened with potatoes instead of flour. In the stew pot, cook ready-to-bake biscuits as dumplings. Dignify the proceedings – on St. Patrick's Day of course – with fresh green string beans, a crisp watercress salad and a tall pistachio parfait.

3 tablespoons vegetable fat

2 lbs. chuck of lamb, cut for stewing

1/4 cup minced onions

2 tablespoons minced green pepper

2 cloves garlic, minced

3 tablespoons minced parsley

1/8 teaspoon leaf sage

4 cups boiling water

3 bouillon cubes

4 medium size potatoes, pared

1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Salt, pepper

8-oz. can ready-to-bake biscuits

Melt the fat. Add the lamb. Cover with a lid. Sauté slowly only until meat loses red color. Do not brown meat. Add the onions, green pepper, garlic, parsley and sage. Sauté 3 minutes longer. Add the boiling water and bouillon cubes. Simmer 1 hour. Cut 2 of the potatoes into slices about 1/2 inch thick. Put the sliced potatoes and the remaining 2 whole potatoes into the pot. Continue simmering, keeping the pot covered, until the whole potatoes are tender, about 1/2 hour more. Remove the whole potatoes from the pot and mash them. Add the mashed potatoes to the stew, mixing well. If the gravy is too thick, thin with stock or water. Add Worcestershire sauce and salt and pepper to taste. Add the biscuits to the pot. Cover pot with the lid. Simmer over a slow flame 12 to 15 minutes more.

[recipe_title]Beef Goulash[/recipe_title]

There are hundreds of goulash variations containing anything from sauerkraut to sour cream. Even in its country of origin, Hungarian goulash is served in countless forms. In all of the versions, however, you'll find a pronounced flavor of paprika and a thick gravy crowded with more vegetables than stock. Use chuck of beef cut into 1-inch cubes. Bring on the goulash with boiled parsley potatoes, snappy crisp cole slaw and big steins of beer.

1/4 cup vegetable fat

3 medium size onions, thinly sliced

1 green pepper, thinly sliced

2 lbs. chuck of beef, cut for stew

2 tablespoons paprika

2 tablespoons flour

10-oz. can tomatoes, minced

3 tablespoons tomato paste

10-oz. can consommé (undiluted)

1 cup boiling water

Salt, pepper

Sauté the onions and green pepper in the fat until the onions turn deep yellow. Remove the vegetables from the pot. Set the vegetables aside. Put the meat in the pot and sauté until the meat is brown, adding more fat if necessary to keep meat from sticking. Return the onions and green pepper to the pot. Stir in the paprika and flour, mixing well. Add the tomatoes, tomato paste, consommé and boiling water. Mix well. Simmer slowly until meat is tender, about 2 1/2 hours. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Pitch in with gusto and let the Deuyll take the hindmost.

By Thomas Marioplayboy's food & drink editor