Get it in Writing

Gentlemen, it's true. Women are difficult creatures to understand. Show me, if you can, the man who is truly capable of assaying whether her "no" means "no" or "maybe," whether the miss in question really digs you the most, as her words so artfully claim, whether she's cooperative, gullible, a blabbermouth, possessive, demanding, or a pretty sincere egg beneath it all.

Ever since Aag, Miss Paleolithic, swore to her swain that his was the only bearskin for her, males have searched for a sure-fire method of double-checking the sweet talk that tumbled from the young lady's moist lips. Unhappily. there are precious few ways to get through to the core: her facial expressions give little indication of fact or fiction, her tone of voice doesn't betray the inner workings of her mind, her gestures tip you off not-at-all. True, a lie detector is a handy gadget when horrid doubt intrudes, but few pony tails care to strap themselves into such a rig during the ordinary course of pursuit. What is left? Her handwriting is left, and handwriting tells you everything you want to know.

The professional handwriting expert, or graphologist, need only see a few lines of chicken scratchings to know pretty well whether the pen-wielder is a persistent liar, a hopelessly insecure child, a tight-lipped ascetic who frowns on all forms of fun, or – on the other hand – a pretty free-living, independent girl who knows exactly what, and whom, she wants. There is nothing in the least mysterious about such deductions: handwriting is an unconscious expression of personality, and the signs are there for anyone equipped to read them. The graphologist is steeped in the rules of measuring form, size, style, pressure and scores of other pretty accurate indications of inner personality that appear in handwriting, and all of it is based on sound scientific principles.

Can anyone analyze handwriting? Sure, within limits. You don't have to be "born with a gift" and there's certainly nothing occult about it. as some quacks have led us to believe. While each handwriting sample is as distinctively individual as a set of fingerprints, and thus requires specific know-how for a complete analysis, there are some solid and trustworthy rules that enable you to tell a good deal about the people around you, male or female.

Consider, for example, the vital "I love you" declaration. If you have it in writing, you have not only the basis – in some states – for a jolly heart-balm suit, but you also have a laboratory specimen for a sincerity test. Attend:If the "I" is written too large in proportion to the rest of the specimen, the girl, you may be sure, has a king-size ego. She wants to be noticed by everybody – and that includes the rest of the wolves at the cocktail party to which you, and you alone, have brought her.

If the "I" is small, you may have an uninflated ego with which to contend, a shy, retiring violet whom you'll be forever dragging around by the hand. If the "I" is written with flourishes and adornments, it indicates concern with nonessentials: this is a girl who'll want you to remember and fuss over the anniversaries of your first date, your first kiss, the first time you heard "our song," her birthday and all the rest of the romantic milestones. The plain and simple "I" (sometimes printed) signifies a girl unimpressed with superficial manifestations but truly interested in you.

You won't make so much as a dent in the feelings of the big "I" girl if you neglect her; her ego will prompt her to drop you and pick up someone else. But the writer of the small modest "I" may easily be hurt if your promises aren't valid ones. When she loves she becomes idealistically involved and doesn't play the field. Be on guard: don't promise her anything you don't mean to deliver.

Will she blab about your bedroom capers? It's easy to find out. Look at the tops of the letters "o" and "a" and "g." They will be open, shut or knotted – looped. If they're open, you have a gullible type, one who is going to believe everything you tell her – and she is also going to tell her best girlfriends everything you said and everything you did. If you like that form of advertising, OK. Otherwise . . .

If the examples of "o" and "a" and "g" are closed, the writer may not believe everything you tell her, or even much that you tell her, but she'll be reasonably discreet, too. You're fairly safe with her. The girl who makes the letters "o" and "a" and "g" look as if they were bundles she'd tied and knotted at the top – this is the girl who will shrewdly and coldly evaluate everything you say to her, and keep it to herself; she won't tell a thing to you or to anyone else, and she may turn out to be possessive and jealous in the extreme.

There are other good indications of discretion. Size of writing is one. If the letter formations are large and rounded the writer has a cooperative spirit, and while she may be susceptible to the suggestion of an affair, she really has a wedding ring in mind. Small, angular writing belongs to the appraising, critical type: you'll never really know her. Incidentally, this girl prefers to do some of the wooing herself, so don't pursue her too hard, let her do enough of the chasing to keep her happy. This is a possessive person, jealous, but romantically interesting all the same, if only because she comes to quick decisions. If you're going to score with her, you won't have to waste much time in preliminaries, and despite her possessiveness you'll suffer no post-mortems if it all ends early.

When the word formations begin fairly sizably but taper off to small, indistinct formations you've met the arch diplomat. You'll notice that she talks fluently and convincingly and promises nothing. You'll have to be most persuasive, most skillful, to succeed with this girl, and if you do win, it will be because she feels surrender is a smart move on her part, a quid pro quo. In other words, the bill comes later.

The opposite formation is easy to remember: when the words begin with small strokes and grow larger toward the end you have a girl who will be easy to persuade, easy to manage. But she is immature, indiscreet and quite likely to demonstrate near-hysteria if things don't go the way she expects. No matter what her chronological age, she's a child.

So much for preliminaries, the peripheral indices. Is she a warm and passionate person, or is she cold, indifferent, a master of the stiff-arm? Slant will tell most. (If the girl is left-handed, however, this factor requires expert interpretation.) Does her handwriting tip to the right, is it vertical or backhand or does it change about? Here's a simple chart:

A – Affectionate, congenial, but not to be rushed. Patience does it.

B – Emotional, ardent, often impatient, and likely to attack you.

C – Her mind tries to rule her heart, she hesitates to embark on an affair, but she will.

D – Repressed personality, but once the wall is breached a flood of emotion will rush out. Not easy to understand.

E – I.Q. (Intelligence Quotient) and E.Q. (Emotional Quotient) in balance. Mildly affectionate. Not interested in romance for romance's sake. A relationship must pay off for this girl, and preferably in a sound marriage.

The loops of the letters "y" and "g" (concluded on page 76)(continued from page 26) and "j" carry their little messages, too. If the loops are deep and wide they indicate a sensual nature; this girl is gregarious, too, not so keen on a quiet evening listening to your hi-fi. She wants to be out on the town. In the writing of the girl who'll tend to be more cooperative, you'll find moderate loops. If there are no loops at all, just straight strokes, this is a thinker, an independent spirit. She's bright, resourceful, has a good sense of humor. She'll say "yes" if she wants to – but nothing you can do will make her say "yes" if she feels like saying "no."

Handwriting is full of signposts like these, some of them easy to understand, some of them complex. For instance, when a girl crosses her "t" and dots her "i" with all sorts of odd-ball lines and curlicues, never placing them where they belong, and substitutes dashes for periods and commas, she's apt to be a dramatic, noisy type. She hates routine, doesn't want to be bothered with details, ever, and is perpetually enthused about something – usually something or somebody new. This dame is fickle and inconstant.

Writing on unruled paper tells a lot, too. The horizontal path of the writing, uphill, downhill or on a straight level, is what counts.

But what if you only have a sample of her signature? There are clues there, too. If her normal handwriting slants forward, and her signature tends to be backhand, the girl is pretending to be aloof, playing hard-to-get. Ultimately, though, you should find her warm and responsive.

If her regular writing is backhand and her signature forward-leaning, the girl is adopting a facade of friendliness and good humor. She is a cold fish, a planner, a long-range schemer.

It's as easy as that, for a beginning. It can be worked on you, too, don't forget. Of course if you are honest, sincere, faithful, sober, kind, hard-working, brave, clean, and nice to animals, it doesn't matter how many charming little notes you fling into the mailbox every year. Otherwise, best you use the telephone, Western Union, smoke signals, extra-sensory perception or tom-tom.

She loves herself.

She loves you.

She's the good sport who likes your mind as well as heart.

Blabbermouth, gullible.

Careful, considerate.

Skeptical, tight-lipped.

Cooperative, easy to know.

Critical, discreet.

Diplomat, talks but says nothing.

Young at heart, indiscreet.

Sensual, material desires.

Moderate emotions, cooperatrve, wants security.

Smart, independent, resourceful.

Optimistic, arrives in high cheer for her date with you.

Skeptical, pessimistic, may take a long time to switch into mood of optimism.

Unpredictable, cheerful one time, moody the next. You can't know in advance if she'll say "yes" or "no" and neither can she.