The Elegant Omelet

When Napoleon tried to make his first omelet, he messed it up thoroughly and sorrowfully admitted, "I've given myself credit for much greater talents than I actually possess." Queen Victoria of England was much more realistic about the whole business. She attended a cooking school in London in 1873 where she learned something of the omelet before attempting to create one. Other rulers, too, knew when to pay homage to the omelet. When Leopold II of Belgium arrived in Mont St. Michel in France, and demanded that an omelet be brought to him and served right where he stood on the pavement, the nearby restaurant owner, Madame Poulard, quite properly and proudly refused to serve him. "Tell him he must come inside and eat with the others, or he'll get none of my omelets," she said, and the king yielded.

To be really effective, an omelet chef must be something of a show-off. The Poulard omelets owe their magnificent reputation not to any secret formula, but, in a large part, to the theatricality with which they are served. Guests are seated beside granite walls. The eggs are beaten with a fine wire whisk in deep bowls and then are poured into an oven pan with a handle almost five feet long. They are cooked in an open fireplace. Then the plump golden oval is turned onto a large platter and rushed to the table.

This doesn't mean that in order to call attention to your efforts you should try to emulate Blondin, the French acrobat, who once balanced himself on a wire 160 feet above Niagara Falls while he ate an omelet he had previously cooked. But you should make the presentation on the best oval platter or dinner plates you can commandeer, and you should be familiar with some of the supporting cast used to make an omelet colorful—the occasional small ribbon of tomato sauce poured around the omelet, the green sprigs of watercress for a color garnish, the extra dollop of filling put at an open end of the omelet or the glossy sheen given to an omelet by brushing it with a lump of butter just before serving.

Alexandre Dumas, pére, novelist and chef, was correct as far as he went when he said, "Une omelette est à la cuisine ce que le sonnet est à la poésie." The omelet is, indeed, as brief and beautiful as a sonnet, but unlike the sonnet it's extremely mortal. You must eat it right away while it's still hot. Once allowed to cool, its magnificent blonde beauty vanishes into deep wrinkles.

An omelet should be light, but it can't be too much like chiffon or it becomes an airy bit of nonsense. The so-called puffy omelet, for example, in which the egg whites are beaten separately and folded into the yolks, is tediously dull and dry. The straight French omelet, on the other hand, in which the eggs are only slightly beaten, is as luscious as a Renoir nude. It's pale gold rather than dark brown on the outside, and semi-soft—almost frothy—inside.

Eggs for an omelet should be large, fresh Grade A, and (extremely important) should not be cold. To the expert omelet maker, a cold egg is as distressing as a cold woman. Take the eggs out of the refrigerator and store them at room temperature at least an hour before making the omelet. Use only the best lightly salted butter. You'll find omelet recipes which advise you to add milk or cream to the eggs: snub them. Actual tests show that milk or cream tend to make the omelet tough. A small amount of water, however, added to the eggs makes the omelet more tender than it would be otherwise, since the water retards the coagulation of the egg yolks. Besides salt and pepper you'll get excellent results by using a small amount of monosodium glutamate crystals, known variously by such commercial tags as Accent, M.S.G., etc.

Make your omelet neither too small nor too big. If it's too small, there will be an excessive amount of crust. Three omelets of one egg each, for instance, bear only a slight resemblance to a single omelet of three eggs. Don't make your omelet too big or the long cooking period will toughen it and will cause it to crack when it is folded. A three- or four-egg omelet is the ideal size.

Be gentle with your eggs: beat them, yes, but don't beat them to death. Be gentle when it comes to fire, too: there's a knack to knowing just how much heat will firm the eggs without searing them. And have the stage set with the necessary props beforehand — pan, bowl, beater, spatula, butter, eggs and seasoning all within easy reach.

Ideally, your pan will be ripe with experience, a chef's-style pan with wideflaring sides. It will have had previous affairs with omelets and emerged happy and bright — the type of pan which has never been washed, but merely wiped dry after each use. Most important, the pan must be big enough so that the liquid egg can spread sufficiently. For a three-egg omelet, a normal man's portion, the pan should be about 8-1/2inches from rim to rim. For a four-egg omelet the pan should be 10 inches from rim to rim. Should you be so underprivileged (or so young) as to have no well-seasoned, "cured" omelet pan, remedy the situation by purchasing the best you can find — at once. Most new pans come coated with a protective film and with manufacturer's directions for its removal and for the proper seasoning of the pan once the coating's been removed – usually a thorough greasing and then baking in a hot oven for a half hour. This seals the pores. Those handsome, provincial baked-enamel pans don't have pores, so merely need a good initial wash and wipe. Whatever your own inclinations, accord your omelet pan monogamous fidelity: never sully its surface by using it for any other purpose.

Stuffed omelets are fine for any time of day from the noonday session in the conference room to the impromptu after-opera supper. Light Bordeaux wines or a rose, crisp French or garlic bread and crumbly aristocratic cheeses of the blue family like stilton, gorgonzola or roquefort are old friends of the omelet.

Here now is Playboy's how-to for the basic French omelet and variations.

[recipe_title]French Omelet[/recipe_title]

Into a deep mixing bowl open three eggs. Add 1 tablespoon cold water, 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1/8 teaspoon monosodium glutamate crystals and a dash of ground white pepper. Beat with a fork at medium speed for 30 seconds. Put a tablespoon of butter in the omelet pan. Turn on a slow-to-medium flame, heating the butter until it just melts but has not turned brown. Tilt the pan so that the bottom and sides become covered with butter. Quickly beat the eggs a few more strokes, and then pour them into the pan just as the butter begins to sputter. Reduce the flame slightly. Wait about ten seconds. A thin solid layer of egg will have formed on the pan bottom. With your fork or spatula, lift the bottom layer slightly upward and tilt the pan, permitting the liquid egg to flow beneath. Repeat this step several times until the egg on top does not flow to the bottom. There will still be a slight residue of liquid egg on top. Spread this with a fork so that there is no pool collected on one spot. Continue to cook until the top is merely moist and frothy. The heat of the omelet will complete the cooking after the omelet is folded. You can, if you wish, lift the omelet slightly to peer beneath and see whether it is turning the proper golden hue. If necessary, step up the heat or lower it. (Restaurant chefs sometimes place the omelet under a broiler flame to complete the top cooking. If you do this — and it isn't particularly recommended — your broiler must' be preheated and you must take the greatest care not to overcook the omelet, which will make it dry and tough.)

If a filling is to be used in the omelet, add the filling down the center and fold the omelet. Slide the omelet to the edge of the pan, and with your spatula, fold the outer edges inward, just as you would fold a letter for mailing. The omelet may resist folding. Simply hold your spatula in place until the omelet submits.

Even if the omelet is not to be filled, it should be folded as described. Then, holding the serving plate in the left hand, place the rim of the omelet pan so that the edge rests on the plate. Quickly invert the pan so that the omelet rests bottom side up on the plate. Tuck in the bottom of the omelet on each side to make it as plump as possible. Use paper toweling if it's uncomfortable to handle. Brush the top with a lump of butter. Add more filling at an open end.

If, after a certain number of tries, you still find it awkward to turn the omelet from the pan onto the plate, you can simply lift it with a spatula onto the plate and turn it bottom side up with your hands, using the paper toweling.

Once mastered, the omelet can be an almost unlimited source of inventive pleasure. It can vary all the way from the hearty Western omelet with ham and onions to the classic French omelet Celestina (actually an omelet within an omelet), the flat Genoese frittata packed with greens and herbs, the Burmese pork-filled omelet and the Chinese egg foo yung studded with almost any meat, fish or seafood in the world. The omelet trainee should be warned when inventing omelet recipes not to use any old tired scraps of food. For these, use the nearest disposal unit, not the noble omelet.

Consider the cheese theme for omelet diversification. The simplest cheese omelet is one in which grated parmesan cheese is added to the eggs before pouring them into the pan. If you want a slightly sharper flavor, you might add grated romano cheese and a dash of cayenne pepper. If you prefer a more subtle blend of flavors, you could combine grated parmesan cheese with shredded Swiss cheese. If a more sturdy flavor appeals to you, you will use diced sharp old cheddar cheese scattered into the pan right after the liquid has set on the bottom. If you like cheese and bacon, cheese and ham, cheese and pimientos, cheese and asparagus or cheese and crabmeat, any of these embellishments can be most delicious. In the same manner, any other food of your choice can be developed into omelet fillings.

Foods in sauce, like seafood newburgh or creamed chicken hash or kidney stew, are spooned onto the omelet just before it is folded. Foods without sauce, cut into small pieces, such as diced ham, chopped peppers, diced potatoes, etc., are merely scattered into the pan after the eggs have set on the bottom but are uncooked on top.

Straight from its own omelet pan, Playboy now cites five offerings toward which it is particularly partial. The fillings are designed for two omelets of three eggs each.

[recipe_title]Omelets With Curried Chicken Livers[/recipe_title]

Wash 2 oz. fresh chicken livers and cut into slices about 1/2-inch thick. Cover with cold water. Bring to a boil. Drain off the water and set the livers aside. Chop 1 small onion and 1 medium-size clove of garlic extremely fine. In a small saucepan melt 1 tablespoon butter. Add the onion and garlic. Saute' until the onion just turns yellow. Add 1 tablespoon curry powder and 1/8 teaspoon chopped dried basil. Mix well. Open an 8-oz. can tomatoes and strain the juice into the saucepan. Chop the tomato meat coarsely and add it to the pan. Cook slowly until the mixture reduces to a thick sauce. Add the livers and cook two minutes more. Season to taste. Prepare two omelets in the usual way, adding a few tablespoons chicken liver filling before the omelets are folded. Spoon additional liver filling onto the plates.

[recipe_title]Apple Rum Omelet[/recipe_title]

Peel, core and cut into eighths 2 small sweet red apples. Slice the apple sections crosswise into pieces about 1/4-inch (concluded on page 70) thick. Put the apples in a saucepan with 1 tablespoon butter, 2 tablespoons water, 2 tablespoons sugar, 1/2 teaspoon lemon juice and 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon. Cook slowly until the water has evaporated and apples are tender. Prepare two omelets in the usual way but omit the monosodium glutamate and the pepper. Add 2 tablespoons sugar to each omelet before the eggs are beaten. After the liquid egg has set on the bottom, sprinkle half the apple mixture into each pan. Fold the omelets in the usual way. Turn them onto a platter. Heat almost to bubbling 1/3 cup rum. Pour the hot rum over the omelets, then light the rum and, while it is flaming, spoon it over the omelets. When the flames subside, sprinkle each omelet with confectioners' sugar.

[recipe_title]Omelet With Sherried Lobster[/recipe_title]

Boil a 1-1/4-lb. fresh lobster 20 minutes. Cool; remove the lobster meat from the shell. (Or buy a freshly cooked lobster from your seafood dealer.) Cut the lobster into slices about 1/4-inch thick. In the top part of a double boiler, over simmering water, melt 2 tablespoons butter. Add the sliced lobster meat and 3 tablespoons dry sherry. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and celery salt. Let the mixture simmer five minutes or until the lobster is heated through. Add 1/4 cup light cream and 2 tablespoons chopped chives or scallions. When the cream becomes hot, beat 1 egg yolk well. Slowly stir the egg yolk into the cream and cook, stirring constantly, until the sauce is thickened. Remove the double boiler from the flame. Season the lobster to taste. Prepare two omelets in the usual way, adding a few tablespoons lobster filling to each omelet before it is folded. (Reheat the lobster filling before adding it to the eggs if necessary.) Spoon additional lobster filling onto the plates.

[recipe_title]Omelet With Mushrooms In Sour Cream[/recipe_title]

Wash 1/4 lb. fresh mushrooms. Separate mushroom caps from stems. Cut mushroom caps and stems into slices about 1/8-inch thick. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a saucepan. Saute until mushrooms are tender. Add 2 tablespoons dry white wine, 1/2 teaspoon grated onion and a dash of nutmeg. Add 1/2 cup sour cream. Mix very well. Cook slowly up to the boiling point, but do not boil. Add salt and pepper to taste. Prepare two omelets in the usual way. Spoon a few tablespoons mushroom filling onto each omelet before folding. Add balance of filling to plates.

[recipe_title]Omelet With Provolone[/recipe_title]

Chop 1 small onion very fine. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a small saucepan. Before the oil smokes, add the onion. Saute' until onion turns yellow. Add an 8-oz. can tomato sauce, 1/8 teaspoon garlic salt and 1/8 teaspoon leaf thyme. Simmer slowly five minutes. Cut 6 anchovy fillets into small dice, and add to pan. Cut 2 oz. sliced provolone cheese into 1/2-inch squares. Add the cheese to the pan. Continue to cook only until the cheese softens. Avoid overcooking. Add salt and pepper to taste. Prepare two omelets in the usual way, adding a few tablespoons provolone filling to each omelet before it is folded. Spoon additional filling onto serving plates. No fair licking the spoon.