To a Square Gentleman
Get with it, will you, Mr. Claus?
Shave off that coleslaw on your jaws,
Trade in that corny reindeer pack,
That lid with no belt in the back:
Before you fall up to my pad,
Please dig that When-In-Rome bit, dad.
To a Lady of Ribald Mind
The snow and sleet
Deep-freeze my feet;
My nose is crystalized;
One ear, I fear,
Is numb, my dear;
But you should be apprised--
A part of me
You cannot see
But love the most
Is warm as toast:
'Tis love's sweet source.
(My heart, of course--
Why, dear, you seem surprised.)
To a Pretty Schoolteacher
Some claim it rhymes with fossil,
Jostle, docile and colossal;
Others hold a brief for facile,
Castle, vassal, even Basil
(As in Rathbone). Thee I hail,
Nonetheless, with loud wassail,
In the hope that your correction
Will not signify rejection.
To a Feminine Drinking Partner
(a two-line verse in eight lines)
The tree is lit and so are we.
To us will now accrue much glee.
To us much glee will now accrue;
To me, that is, and also you.
To you and me, to I and thou,
Much glee will start accruing now,
And all because we've turned the tree on,
Which, like us, resembles neon.
To Irving Berlin
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your corpuscles be white.
