The Art of Travel

There is an inner circle reserved for those talented few who perform the art of travel with special ease and grace. To be sapient, to belong, to know your way around wherever you may go, is indeed an art worth cultivating -- and the process of cultivation is full of fun in itself. We propose to tell you here not all ye need to know, but a goodly portion of the unwritten rules for eliminating that needless cry: Why Didn't Somebody Tell Me?

First of all, you have to know what you want from your trip. And that means checking with someone before you get very far in your planning. Try the guidebooks. They run the gamut, from Baedeker and the Blue Guides, minutely detailed on all the antiquities and natural wonders but woefully inadequate on restaurants, nightclubs, casinos and theatres, on through books that peddle atmosphere like Doré Ogrizek's World in Color series or the Beaux Pays series, which are more help than you might imagine in setting the background and suggesting possibilities for your enjoyment, on to the sharply useful general guides such as Fodor's splendid Men's Guide to Europe, Sydney Clark's All the Best in Europe and more narrowly specialized books like the Guide Michelin, Norman Ford's Where to Eat, Shop and Stay in Western Europe, Roland Palmedo's Ski New Horizons and Pastene's Auto Guide to Europe.

Then there are the literate and informative folders distributed by the various government travel offices. Their output of literature varies widely but will at least provide basic information on things to do and see, when and where to do and see them, and categorized hotel lists you can use to check those your travel agent recommends. And they'll rise on occasion to such heights of esoteric service -- notably in the case of the French and British brochures -- as to provide lists of ghost-haunted country homes around London and jazz clubs in France.

Use these sources to set up some personal aims before you go to see a travel agent. Then he takes over. He supplies know-how. He tells you when the Rapido leaves Venice for Milan and where to stay at Stresa and how long to spend in Brussels and when Fasching gets under way in Vienna. He lays a red carpet, in effect, to your destination and back. He has a Citroën waiting for you at the Paris airport, if you so desire, or he has it rolled up to your hotel door the next morning. He is wise in the ways of placing the oldsters in safe retreats where enjoyment and inaction are synonymous, and he also has the posh spot picked out for you where there's something doing every minute and cooperative companions thereabouts to do it with. He knows how to graph the rise and fall of seasonal excitement at each resort, and how to get you there at its peak. His job is to be something of a psychiatrist and mind reader in addition to his other duties -- through his good offices, you will never find yourself at a strawberry festival when roulette is your wish.

Your travel agent, for example, calmly arranges for your deck chair and dining salon reservations far in advance, if you're going by boat. Thus, while less foresighted mortals are lining up for their assignments, on the very moment that the ship sails you are sharing a bottle of champagne in your cabin, having copped the choice spots long ago.

There are various points you will want to discuss with him at your leisure. Do you want to sail on one of the big liners, figuring that the odds are better there -- with more people, and more doing -- of finding a complacent companion; or are the fields greener on some of the smaller lines, like Holland-America, where the free-and-easy mingling in one-class accommodations might well raise the percentage of vacationing college girls, secretaries and models? It's worth some thought.

Also worth some thought is the question of whether you should set out on a tightly planned itinerary or just get to Europe and ad lib from there on out, taking side trips as your whim or your women dictate. The latter may sound more promising, but the arranged-in-advance plan is generally considered much the better way. The time you'll save by not having to make your reservations at each step in your point-to-point progress, not to mention the frustrations avoided, leaves you in far better shape to reap your full measure of adventure.

To find the travel agent who's right for you, first ask your friends. Have they used an agent lately? Good or bad service? Did he cotton fast to their ideas or try to force his own? Second, check the agent's credentials. Is he a member of ASTA, the American Society of Travel Agents? What does the local bank have to say about him? ASTA membership isn't the ultimate criterion: there are some pretty poor agents in ASTA and some damn fine ones outside the association. But at least it's a clue: it proves the guy's been doing a fair volume of honest business for at least three years, and is recognized as a retail sales outlet by many airlines and ship lines. Third, walk into the agency and look at the folders he carries in racks; see whose tours he carries. If he handles only a very few companies, he may not be the guy you want; if he handles too many tours, be leery. Most important of all, see if he talks your language. After all, you may be staking a couple of thousand bucks and several weeks of your time on his judgment of what you'll enjoy. So it pays to be sure that you understand each other.

On behalf of the air and ship, rail and bus lines, the tour organizers and resort operators, the car-rental outfits and the sightseeing services, the agent can offer you these wares:

Packages -- usually prepared for the agent by an airline or railroad in combination with a resort hotel -- offer a stay at a resort with a variety of extras. By buying a number of services for a stipulated period, booked and paid in advance, you get a break in prices. They are normally quoted without the fare, which is extra. Typical of these are the Miami Beach packages: a week at a smart resort hotel, a rental car for your use while there, two meals a day, evening entertainment and some sightseeing, all for about $165, plus fare.

When you are considering packages, and particularly package tours, it will often pay you to use a smaller agent rather than one who's just a local branch for big tour wholesalers, since the independent agent will usually have a wider variety of package plans to offer you and will have no special interest in pushing one over the others. Packages -- normally quoted on the basis of a shared room with a slight supplement for rooming on your own -- are most usual at domestic vacation spots and are designed to hold you longer than you might otherwise stay in one spot, as distinct from a package tour which moves you along from place to place.

Package tours -- usually prepared for the agent by a tour operator or wholesaler -- offer one-to-four-day packages at several points, with transportation between these places and either a courier going along on so-called "escorted" tours, or with a man to meet you at each arrival point, transfer you to the hotel, advise you about the local scene. Domestic package tours are usually quoted just for the destination area, with fare there extra, while overseas tours are normally quoted to include the major round-trip transportation (say across the Atlantic) from a prime U.S. departure point (New York, San Francisco, Chicago, etc.). As a general rule, it's wise to take a conducted tour if it's your first trip abroad. True, you may shrink from the notion of having some character tell you what to do, or from being herded around in a group, but the tour does have obvious advantages which may well overcome these drawbacks.

Package tours run all the way from three days in neighboring countries to 100 days or more around the world, and from $100 to $300 close to home to $6000 and way, way up. In addition to general tours, which offer some of everything -- the sights, side trips, nightclubs, theatre, a day at the races -- there are special interest tours, angling the itinerary and devoting most of the time to one activity. Typical are ski tours averaging around $800 for three weeks at three different ski resorts in Europe. The range, however, is infinite: yacht cruises through the South Seas to a brewer's circuit of Germany. It's up to you.

Cruises -- at this season a bevy of bewitching damsels is about to set sail for Europe and other points around the globe. It may be fairly assumed, then, that your eye is focused in the same direction, with the thought that you may introduce to these young ladies certain memorable sea changes. As a rule, there are far more women aboard a cruise ship than men.

Generally, the best cruises are the ones with most calls. Recognizing the importance of calls, some lines fly you across the Atlantic to save time on the empty ocean haul, then put you aboard a cruise ship through the Mediterranean, the Aegean, around Africa or whatever. (Check notably with British Overseas Airways Corporation and Lufthansa, the German airline, on these possibilities.) Another way to buy a cruise is to pick areas you couldn't do as well on a land tour: where, for instance, there are inadequate hotels and not too much to see far inland, such as the island clusters of the Aegean and southern Caribbean, the West Coast of Africa and the East Coast of South America.

Remember, however, that fun aboard is a very special part of a cruise, the main reason you're sailing and not flying to the various ports of call. While you can get cruises lasting just three days, try to pick one of at least a week -- and take advantage of the line's warming (continued on page 36)Art of Travel(continued from page 32) water for the swimming pool, putting musicians and entertainers on board, arranging for top-deck buffet lunches and the rest. Skip so-called cruises on 12-passenger freighters unless you have time to spare and special interests to keep you happily occupied while the ship holds over to load cargo, or shipping orders are changed.

Independent tours -- this is the real test of the caliber of an agent. Here it can pay you to use the local retail outlets of major tour wholesalers. Smaller agents often (but by no means always) don't have the background or the facilities to handle fairly esoteric independent itineraries. So they become mere order-takers, passing your wishes on to a wholesaler who sets up the trip and then returns tickets and vouchers and all the rest to your small retailer to sell to you as his own. Better, then, to go yourself to the prime source -- which also maintains offices abroad to help you on the spot. Here's how:

a.) Allow a day for your transatlantic flight (five to eight days each way by ship), even if you fly overnight and expect to be cleared through customs and at your hotel before lunch. You'll need the afternoon to get oriented and to begin planning the details of your stay in town with the hotel concierge (the fount of all wisdom, often better than local travel agents, city or national tourist office), and to phone any friends. Be sure to have your travel agent fix both your outward and inbound flights firmly before you leave; a fouled return reservation in the crowded season can cost you days more in hotel and meals at a point you've already "done" amply. As a sidelight, it's fascinating to see the slices in air time being brought about by the jets. For instance, you can now fly from New York to London in 6-1/2 hours, from London to Paris in an hour and five minutes. You can also hop from Paris to Rome in two hours, from Rome to Athens in an hour and 50 minutes, and from Athens to Istanbul in an hour and 10 minutes. As Art Buchwald says, "In the next few years jet airliners will make it possible for people to have breakfast in London, breakfast in New York, breakfast in Los Angeles, and breakfast in Tokyo, all in the same day. A whole new vista is opening for people who like big breakfasts."

b.) Allow at least four days at each major city -- and arrange with your agent, before you leave home, for a morning of rubber-necking on the day after you arrive at each key point, so as to get the standard sights behind you and get the feel of the place. Plan to spend most of the afternoon of that day walking -- there's life in the streets, and the only way you'll savor it is on your two feet.

Complete your arrangements that afternoon, too, for the balance of your time in town: check shows and nightclubs in This Week in Paris or its local equivalent, and have the hotel porter make reservations. Surely allow a full day of your tour for a trip outside the city. Obvious ones are from Paris to Versailles or Fontainebleau, from London to Oxford or Stratford, from Rome to Naples or to Ostia for the swimming.

And plan, too, for at least one day devoted purely to fun in each of your main stopping places. You could spend the day sailing near Copenhagen or riding in the forests near Salzburg or going to the races in England or ... well, what do you enjoy, anyway? All it takes is to remember that the locals don't spend all their time gawking at statues; they like to live, too. Find out how they do it -- and do the same.

It's important to maintain a certain flexibility. So -- despite your agent's admonitions that you'll never manage without firm reservations for every single night -- leave yourself at least one completely unscheduled day or even two for every five days to a week you're abroad. Anything can and something almost always does come up to change your plans, so leave yourself some elbow room.

c.) Make most of your intercity connections by plane -- especially if you're in a hurry or on long hauls -- since they're much more flexible if you want to change flights at the last minute; a fair amount of time and money usually gets lost in the cumbrous process of changing a railroad reservation (that is, if you have a Pullman room or seat rather than just an unreserved first-class ticket). Plan rail and bus runs only through particularly scenic regions. Remember, too, that there's nothing to stop you -- and much to encourage you -- from using other methods of transportation: a boat perhaps across Lake Geneva or along the Rhine or Danube as part of your continuing transportation, or a barge from Holland to Germany. You'll find out about these possibilities by reading up before you go -- and also by asking questions like crazy once you're on the spot.

• • •

"Go Now -- Pay Later" has boomed during the past two years, which is understandable enough in an economy where credit is the big thing. Standard credit practices apply: you pay 10% down in cash and pay the balance in monthly installments spread over any period up to two and sometimes three years. Interest rates vary, so it might pay you to shop around for the best deal, if money's your worry. If you want to eliminate the need for carrying large sums of cash around with you once you've arrived, the answer is, of course, a credit card. There's nothing you can't buy these days with this modern horn of plenty up to and including a dancing girl at one of Madrid's better nightclubs. Her services are solemnly charged down as dessert on the Diners' Club tab!

You might have to spend real green in Hong Kong or Boise, Barcelona or Houston for newspapers, shoe shines and taxis, but there isn't much else a credit card won't buy. You can rent a car, buy the gas, get it repaired and park it on credit, even get bail on a speeding offense. You can hire a Dictaphone or a secretary; ride trains and planes and buses; buy candy, liquor, flowers, insurance, a suit or hat; phone long distance, send a wire, go fishing or hunting, get a concert ticket ... and, oh yes, you can also pay for a restaurant meal.

On the score of convenience alone. the all-in-one cards are a blessing. More than that, they give you access to a flowing diversity of services: more than 22,000 establishments are listed in the charge-service directories of American Express and Diners' Club. And the battle to sign up more and more places on an exclusive basis will get hotter, with Hilton Hotels now entering their Carte Blanche in the credit sweepstake behind Diners' and American Express; and there's a possibility that the domestic airlines are going to make their card an all-in-one affair, too.

The big struggle for the time being is still between American Express and the Diners' Club, and all the fighting must ultimately benefit the individual card user, in a wider diversity of services offered. If you want to be sure of suffering no inconvenience, however, your present recourse is to buy both cards and this we recommend. Throw in a Universal Air Travel Plan card, too, though you have to deposit $425 for the privilege of charging plane tickets all over the world:

• • •

So you're on the Continent. How to get around?

You can fly. Reservations are flexible, you'll move fast and comfortably; but you won't see much of the country.

Trains in Europe are a luxurious adventure (with the possible exception of those in Spain, which are merely an adventure); you'll see the country, eat well and travel at fair speed.

But the best way of all, in our book, is doing it by car -- with a couple of "ifs" attached.

If you've been to Europe at least once before; if you have even a smattering of French or German or Italian; if you're going to be over there for at least three or four weeks and don't insist on "doing it all"; if you don't "eat kilometers" from city to city but like to loaf along a riverside (continued on page 66)Art of Travel(continued from page 36) side road or follow a mountain lane just for the hell of it--then driving in Europe should be right for you.

First, you'll have to decide whether to rent, lease, buy then sell back, buy a European car outright then ship it home, or ship your own car over for use there. Best of all: rental of a chauffeured limousine. Time and money are, as usual, the main keys to your decision. As a general rule, you'll find that it will pay to rent a car for periods of less than four to six weeks and to buy one on a guaranteed repurchase plan if you need it longer. Your deposit is $100-$300 on a rental car, and the purchase price of a new car runs from $850 on the cheapest Fiat and $1000 for the least expensive Citroën or British Ford, to $3000 for a Mercedes 220 or a Porsche convertible and $4800 for a Lancia Flaminia. This purchase price is often required as your "deposit" on a repurchase plan. In round figures, and all included, it'll cost you about $400 to rent and run an average European car on a six-week tour, and about $460 if you buy the car then sell it back after six weeks. That $60 differential (which is about the cost of documents on the car you buy) dwindles the longer you stay abroad and use the car you've bought. For instance, for periods of over 30 days a Citroën 2CV rents for $7 a day as against $5 a day for depreciation and insurance over two months on a repurchase plan. But if you hold the car for four months before selling it back, the daily rate for depreciation and insurance will be down to around $2.70. And you won't even have to pay that if you buy the car. So, if you've even half a mind to buy a car abroad, use the repurchase plan--no matter how short a time you're staying--to try one out without obligation. If you like it, you'll have paid no rental on the car and can have it wrapped up and shipped home for about $120-$150 on smaller cars sent from England to the East Coast, $300 for larger cars shipped from Germany to New York. U.S. customs duty is 8-1/2% of the car's value as a used car when you bring it in.

When it comes to buying a car overseas, some foreign-car dealers in the U.S. will take your old car as a trade-in and arrange financing on the new one. If you are definitely in the market for a foreign car and are also planning a European vacation, buying over there can be a shrewd move. You can, in fact, get your new car plus a European vacation for less than the price of the low-cost American cars and your transatlantic fare! And you'll do even better as you draw the parallel on between higher-priced cars at home and abroad. If you're interested, then talk it through with your travel agent and get the fully detailed booklets put out by car-rental outfits, foreign-car dealers and others. Hertz (linked on this with American Express) and Avis branches can get you details, also Auto-Europe, the international division of the National Car Rental System. Independents include Europe by Car, European Driving Plan, Inc., Autourist, your local American Automobile Association club, and others.

• • •

Probably your very first purchase for your trip should be a passport-size wallet (see Financial Statement, p. 64), and a set of passport photos, including a few extras to take along in case of emergency requirements while you're abroad. You'll want a few bilingual pocket dictionaries to clarify your sign language wherever you're going, and a copy of the Guide Michelin we mentioned, that superb informant on the most desirable hotels and delectable eating spots. And a currency converter.

The bulk of your funds, of course, will be in traveler's checks. (This, incidentally, will probably make you a customer of the American Express Co., and Amexco grandly responds by forwarding or holding mail for you as you gad about from place to place. And, if you change your plans en route, a postcard keeps your correspondence a-coming along with you.) You stand to gain a bit with perfect legality by looking into the rates of exchange of the various countries you plan to visit, even before you leave the U.S. Many times, converting your long green here may give you a more favorable rate of exchange than you'll encounter abroad. Conversely, when changing back to American money, do it abroad, not here. But don't forget to hold out enough of the foreign currency to cover tips, cabs, and such, on the way back to the ship or plane.

Another point to remember is that the vagaries of European electrical systems may bring you up against direct current or a 220-volt line just at that contented moment when you're about to ready yourself for a date by plugging in your electric razor. But you can look as spruce as always by getting your razor a bon voyage gift of a converter.

What about tips?

It was observed that your travel agent is the guy to place you happily in the dining salon aboard ship. Although foresighted, he can't be expected to enjoy second sight, and predict whether your dinner companions will be five wideeyed beauty contest winners, or a delegation of silo manufacturers off to study the Continent's most exciting flying buttresses. So -- a $10 bill discreetly palmed to the maître de presiding over the salon may indeed bring you to the promised land, seated, we sincerely trust, next to a gorgeous heiress.

Elsewhere on board ship, you must scatter your tips with the airy grace of an Indian potentate. To the deck steward. To the bootblack. To the lounge attendant. To the bath steward. To your room steward. The latter rates $10 and probably more, if you have been demanding or he has been especially solicitous and helpful on such points as the shortest routes to the cabins of various gifted travelers you have noticed on deck. The others, about five each. Bartenders in the lounge are tipped when you pay your tab, as you might in any Madison Avenue pub. Mind readers and optimists in the realm of human nature have been known to tip in advance -- just to put the crew at rest on that vital point as to whether you are a tightwad or a soft mark -- and thus forestall any possible desertion in favor of heavy promisers on the next deck. But generally you tip on the last night out, or, on cruises, somewhere along the halfway mark.

Next, what to take?

On shipboard, you can obviously afford to carry more changes than if flying, what with weight limits and all. But with some of the big ship lines tieing in with airlines to fly you home (and delivering your excess luggage via the sea route), not to mention side trips you'll want to make by air, you'll do well to avoid any elephant-size trunks, and divide your things among a few rugged suitcases and a 12 x 18 x 26 job which fits neatly into Continental train and plane luggage racks. Meanwhile, your main gear is checked with your travel representative or back at the hotel. Your luggage should be free of fancy built-in fittings. Open space is what you'll need most, and a good lock. The lock isn't primarily for pilfering protection -- a good whack from another bag will often snap yours open, and you wouldn't want this to happen somewhere between the ship and the dock.

If you're going on a cruise, you can shoot the works on the amount of clothing you take long, and indulge in extra luxuries like a second set of evening clothes, just in case. But if you're heading for Europe and beyond, you'll want to keep the total to a spare but adequate minimum.

There's some debate about dressing for dinner on shipboard. On the first night out, of course, nobody does. On the last night out, practically everybody does. In between, it's up to you, and considering that you're one of the roving kind -- eyes included -- why not be at your best? Some others will dress every night, particularly on the big ships, and the best bet for you is to select evening clothes that suggest elegance and informality all at once. Black or midnight (continued on page 83)Art of Travel(continued from page 66) blue will do for the jacket, but at this season you might decide on wine or gold; these tones are mixed deeply with black in the fabric so that the overall effect is very subdued. Your tie and cummerbund will match the jacket; the trousers are always black or midnight blue.

You can relax a little on dress shirts. Plain whites will do, soft collar attached. You'll need about three, and perhaps one of them might have a ruffled front. After that you go down the line with: one dark suit, one light; one jacket and slacks outfit you carry aboard on your back; topcoat and/or raincoat; robe and slippers; wear a hat going aboard and pack a couple of caps; assorted shoes for dress, and for loafing; plenty of shirts and sport shirts, ties, socks, handkerchiefs, jewelry, belts (don't overlook evening braces), gloves, toiletries, underwear, sunglasses, etc.

If you're flying, your wardrobe has to hit the weight limit to the ounce, or you'll be parlaying simple multiplication into higher mathematics. Your international first-class ticket permits 66 pounds, but local flights abroad and transatlantic tourist tickets limit you to 44, so it may be wiser to count on that from the beginning.

Here are a few tips on how you may be weighed and still not found wanting.

You sally forth armed to the teeth like a commando -- since your own framework and what's on it as you board the plane are counted in their load but not in your 44 pounds. So wear jacket and slacks, lightweight sweater, cap or crushable felt hat. Your lightweight topcoat or raincoat is on your arm; camera and binoculars are slung over your shoulder.

For the rest, this was actually put on a scale, and made it: one lightweight suit, light shade; second suit, dark; another sports jacket, and slacks; 2 sport shirts; 3 white shirts; 1 blue or gray shirt; 4 pairs shorts; 6 ties; 12 handkerchiefs; 6 pairs socks; 2 pairs pajamas; 1 robe; 2 belts; shaving kit, toiletries, etc.; 1 pair swimming trunks; clothes brush; T-shirt (In Portugal, they require a top to your swimming trunks, so this will double); 2 pairs shoes.

And, believe it or not, this still allows you a few more pounds, for a lightweight dinner outfit, or extras on the other stuff.

You'll probably buy a lot of stuff throughout Europe, but don't forget that Copenhagen, Shannon, Paris and Frankfurt are tax-free ports: you can really make a killing by doing a lot of your buying at these spots, if they're on your way. And in both London and Paris, you'll enjoy sizable discounts on your purchases if you have them delivered to you on your plane.

Now, let's assume that you're flying transatlantic on an independent, prearranged tour which involves a train or plane for long Continental hauls, and a car at resorts or for short scenic runs, with a minimum of conducted sightseeing arranged ahead of time at major cities, and ample free time in each. You're buying most of the transportation and much of your European currency and making most of the arrangements through your agent well ahead of time in the States. But our original premise of artful travel involves having the local version of a good time wherever you are. You'll obviously make your own selections as you plan your trip, but here are a few possibilities:

Hotels -- your base of operations is vital not only as a good address or for memorable luxury, but also because the guidance the concierge will give you will be keyed to the level of the people using that hotel. Rely on him for everything. Tip him every time you pay cash, otherwise when he presents his bill for outlays on your behalf at the end of your stay. There are certain hotels of great class you should surely use if you're anywhere near them: Claridges in London, the Royal Danieli in Venice (but ask for the old wing), the Ritz in Paris, atmospheric Sacher's in Vienna, the Hotel de la Cloche at Dijon, the superluxurious Aviz in Lisbon (but it's small, an excastle with only 26 rooms, so book way-way-way ahead) and, among the resorts, the Hotel de Paris at Monte Carlo, the Negresco at Nice, the Alhamar near Malaga, the Cap at Cap d'Antibes, the Berghaus on top of the Jungfrau in Switzerland, Formentor on Mallorca, the Rive Reine at Vevey, and the San Domanico at Taormina.

Feminine companionship is your next most important consideration. The streets and the bars and nightclubs and even the hotel concierge can turn up professionals everywhere; the choice is yours. If you prefer to hunt up your own, then the situation varies geographically from the much-touted freedom of Scandinavian girls (notably in Denmark) to the "scorched earth" situation in Spain, Italy and Portugal. There are two feminine categories that do not fit into any geographical pattern: one is the genuinely upper-class type (so that any introductions you can wangle from friends at home are worth more than gold; otherwise, try your luck at golf or tennis clubs) and American girls, who're everywhere on the Continent in summer. The best source of these last are the American Express offices, where they come to get mail, exchange traveler's checks, buy tours, etc. In England and France, and particularly in France, you usually have to "belong" before you can get to first base for a try at second; you'll belong fastest in a group (know any American students, maybe a couple of artists?) or in a sport situation (for instance, at the beach or a ski resort or at country clubs). The casual pickup on a café terrace in France is a rare possibility; she's either a pro, or she's waiting for her husband. In Portugal, Spain and Italy, there are only two kinds of girls: very, very good or very, very bad, and that's that. Again the exceptions are the upper strata of society and Americans, or tourists from Scandinavia.

Food -- since you'll spend more time eating than on almost any other single activity in Europe, you might as well polish up on ordering full-fledged meals in a strange tongue. You'll find English-speaking maître de's at all the big hotels and great restaurants. Eat there a few times to get the hang of local menus and dining habits; but don't ignore the smaller places, which are fun and also have fine food. There are various ways around the problem of whatinhell's Salzburger Nockerl or Vlaamsche Waterzoie -- which happen to be an Austrian soufflé and a Belgian chicken stew, respectively. One way around this difficulty is to go in and firmly order the specialty of the house. This can be tricky, of course, when the waiter shrugs and says in a rapid local patois something to the effect that, "We don't got no specialties here." Another fairly effective alternative is to decide in general terms what you want before going in -- for instance, thick soup, poached fish, veal, fruit and cheese. It's no trick to learn these general terms and leave the particular form of the soup, fish, meat to the imagination of the waiter. (You indicate that it's up to him by shrugging energetically.)

If you savor the joys of wine, then by all means do like everybody else and ask for a carafe (it's almost an international word) of the restaurant's own wine, red or white, unless you prefer to go into a huddle over vintages and chateaux with the sommelier. He can teach you quite a bit, incidentally, without embarrassment, if you'll just ask him to recommend something and then ask, "Why?"

Here are some of the meals you should try at least once, and restaurants where you should sample them: Rehrücken (venison) and thin Palatschinken (pancakes with cottage cheese stuffing) at the 14th Century Goldener Hirsch in Salzburg, pastries at Demel in Vienna, anguilles au vert, which translates as baby eels in a herb sauce, and filet de sole Ostendaise at the Epaule de Mouton in Brussels, every variety of piled-high open sandwich at Davidsen's in Copenhagen, a rabbit pâté known as Hase im Topf at the Schwarzwalder in Munich or the Hofbräuhaus beerhall, avgolemono (lemon soup) and solmadakia (stuffed vine leaves) at Vijff Vlieghen in Amsterdam, and be sure to order Dutch cheese and black roggebrod bread with your breakfast at the hotel there, ryper (grouse) in any form at Frognersaeter on a view-rich hill just outside Oslo, bacalhau (dried cod) or santola (stuffed crab) at the Mestre-Ze on Guincho Beach just outside Lisbon, cold gaspacho soup and a concoction of chicken and seafood in yellow rice called paella at La Tasca in Madrid, a fondue of melted cheese and kirsch at Bolozon in Geneva. (We have not mentioned London, Paris or Rome, because their dishes are the basis of all great international cooking and there are far too many good restaurants for us to single out just a few; as a general rule, consult any good restaurant list in a guidebook, or the hotel concierge.)

Drinking -- forget martinis. They'll be warm and loaded with vermouth. For a hard tipple, order whisky -- which means Scotch everywhere in Europe -- or akvavit in Scandinavia, jenever in Holland, brandy in Spain, and Pernod (or Richard -- another brand name for denatured absinthe) in France. Grappa works faster than fast in Italy. Besides this, you should try a sort of claret cup called sangria in Spain, the young wine at a heuriger wine garden in Grinzing just outside Vienna, and a Valais or a Neuchâtel light white wine in Switzerland. There's every conceivable variety of wine in France, and among the odd items a liqueur called marc which is made from the wine-press leavings and is worth trying once for fun. Don't order Liebfraumilch (whose name has degenerated until it means virtually any white Rhine wine) in Germany unless it comes from the Liebfrauenkirche vineyard near Worms in Rhine Hesse. Sherry is obviously good in Spain -- even though the best goes to England. Ask the man in Italy: the better wines tend to keep pretty much within each locality.

Shows -- music halls in London, the Folies-Bergère in Paris and opera in Italy are obvious. Actually, there's first-rate theatre -- in London and Paris in particular -- and Sadler's Wells ballet and the Old Vic repertory in London and the Opéra-Comique, Théâtre Français and Opéra in Paris should all positively be on your list. Don't miss the Grand Guignol horror-and-sex stuff in Paris or the political satire at such special spots as the Théâtre de Dix Heures, if your French is up to it. Open-air opera in Rome is good summer fare -- mostly because of the setting in the baths of Caracalla. Nudity is an exhilarating art in France, a gross and dispirited exhibition in Germany, moderately tasteless everywhere else. You'll run most everywhere into films that were too torrid for the U.S. but notably in Italy, not at all in Spain and Portugal. Flamenco dancing and fado singing are the evening offerings, respectively, at these last two places. Casinos are legal in France, Italy, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Portugal -- almost all of them at coastal resorts or inland spas. Again skipping London and Paris, which have far too much to offer for any random sampling, the following nightspots can be recommended: Monseigneur and Casino Oriental (tough) in Vienna, Boeuf-sur-leToit (apes Hollywood but adds breasts) in Brussels, Lorry (beer-gardenish) and Wonder Bar (tough) in Copenhagen, Domicile du Jazz in Frankfurt which is just what it says, Jicky Club and Bricktop's in Rome, Adega do Machado for fado in Lisbon, Zambra and Los Corrales for gypsy stuff in Madrid and La Macarena for the same with more color in Barcelona.

Sports -- you don't have to go to the races to bet in England, "turf accountants" will happily take your money in town. But you're wiser to watch the smart money on the parimutuel boards -- at Auteuil and Longchamps during the mid-June Grande Demaine near Paris or near Deauville in mid-August; at the June Derby and Ascot meetings near London and at Goodwood in July and York in August. Golf, of course, can be blamed on the Scots, so you should dig out a divot or two at St. Andrews, Carnoustie and Muirfield in Scotland. Other great European courses include those at Spa, Le Zoute and Antwerp in Belgium, at Morfontaine and Chantilly in France, Krefeld and Hamburg in Germany, The Hague and Zandvoort in Holland, Milan in Italy, Stockholm in Sweden and Madrid in Spain. You can go skindiving in the Baltic if you insist, but most people stick to the Mediterranean and for the most part do it from offshore islands like France's Porquerolles, Port-Cros and the Levant (a major nudist center, incidentally) -- and off Italy, Elba and Capraia and Pianosa, Capri and Ischia, Ponza on a level with Rome, the Aeolian Islands near Sicily. Undeveloped but loaded with potential are the Greek Mediterranean Islands, notably Mykonos and Santorin, also Ithaca, Cefalonia, Corfu and Crete. Skindiving is great and barely developed off Jugoslavia's Dalmatian Coast where the water is warm and undisturbed, off the southern coast of Spain and Portugal, and off Spain's Ballearic islands. You can also see more auto racing in Europe than anywhere else; in fact, even top races are too numerous to mention here, so ask your auto club.

What you can do and see are well-nigh infinite. And getting into the swing of travel isn't as complicated and occult as it may seem. Once you've been tipped to a few of the things to watch for and watch out for -- as we've tried to do here -- you can trust to your own good sense and intuition, play it by ear, relax and forget the office. Because remember: all the world loves a traveler -- particularly one who goes about it easily and graciously, prepared to savor the world at its best. Bon voyage.