In 1939 there were probably not a hundred sports cars in the United States, so the problem was a simple one: when two drivers chanced to meet on the road, they exchanged brisk waves, perhaps accompanied by dignified bows (from the neck only). Even ten years later, with the sports-car count in the thousands and rising fast, one would not, except in Westchester County, Westport, Evanston and Greater Los Angeles, expect to meet so many sports-car brethren that greeting them would be much of an effort. But even then it was clear that some kind of pecking order was needed. Every once in a while an ugly little impasse was noted: the driver of a Stutz Bearcat waiting just too long before waving to a chap in an Alfa-Romeo 1750, for example.
Today, with sports cars of the high, middle and low degree as common in the land as the red ant, the problem is acute. Should one wave to every MG that buzzes past? Strict adherence to this policy, democratic and admirable as it might be, would give one a case of pitcher's arm within two hours, and would constitute a traffic hazard to boot. Of course, one might wave only to the drivers of one's own make of car, but to do so would certainly indicate intellectual aridity, and a tendency toward deviation, since a primary element of the Sports Car Ethic lays down that all sports-car drivers owe allegiance to the Modern Group in the fight against the common, Big Car, Pre-sliced White Bread Eater, Tourist-type people.
To wave at everything, though, is not only time-consuming and dangerous, as above cited, but socially unthinkable: it would break down all standards and open the floodgates to all kinds of indiscriminate interpersonal relationships. No. Some bounds, some restraints there must be. Do policemen smile at hoodlums? Does an Astor slap a Glotz on the back? By the same token, could a Ferrari driver wave first – or indeed at all – to an Opel Rekord? The very thought is absurd. On the other hand, what does a Jaguar driver do if he's accosted, as it were, by the owner of a Lotus Elite?
In an attempt to bring order out of this chaos, Playboy has prepared the accompanying chart. You will note that a selection (rather arbitrary and incomplete, let us say here and now) of sports cars has been listed from top to bottom and from left to right in descending order of Prestige Factor (P.F.).
To use the chart, memorize it. Or cut it out and paste it in the corner of your windshield. When you see another sports car coming, read across the column until you come to your car's name. Then read down until you come to the name of the other fellow's car and take the action indicated in the area in which the two lines cross.
Note that in passing a car of the same make as your own, it is proper to wave just as the other chap does – that is, simultaneously. However, if your car has, let us say, wire wheels with knockoff hubs and his has bolt-on disks, you may properly hesitate perceptibly before waving. If the approaching car is above yours in Status, you should wave first; if it is below yours, wave last. If it is well below yours, don't wave at all.
And, finally, if you are approached by the ultimate – a stripped, semi-wrecked Bugatti 57SC – what you must do is stop your car, get out, and salute.
