A Good Egg

Squids lay them. Auks lay them. Titwillows, tinamous and teals lay them. Even Broadway shows on Boston tryouts, all too often, lay them. But mainly chickens, by the millions, lay them. Since the first pecking order was established in the jungles of prehistoric India, the lowly chicken egg – unborn progeny of the most ridiculous of barnyard creatures – has become man's most prodigal delicacy. As eggs go, it is a rather prosaic creation – lacking the monumentality of the ostrich egg, the diminutiveness of the butterfly egg, the toughness of the flamingo egg, the fragility of the hummingbird egg, the rarity of the platypus egg, the proliferation of the frog egg, the resplendence of the pheasant egg, the status of the Beluga sturgeon egg, the academic interest of the Tyrannosaurus egg, even the practical value of the nest egg. And yet it has decorated the lacquered dinner tables of Ming China, the marble cenacula of Periclean Rome, the damask tablecloths of Louis xiv France and the wicker picnic baskets of Twentieth Century America. It has been fried in skillets with hickory-smoked ham, shirred in earthenware ramekins with toasted bread crumbs and melted Swiss cheese, scrambled in chafing dishes with tomatoes and chili peppers, beaten gently into plump and feathery omelets blazing with curacao. Even more exotically, it has been thrown at vaudeville actors, rolled on the White House lawn, painted for Easter, spiked for eggnog, chug-a-lugged with chocolate malteds. It has even been immortalized by Humpty Dumpty.

Once it breaks out of its chaste chamber, the chicken egg becomes the swingingest of ovoids – from the three-minute egg of early morning to the century egg of a late-evening snack in Chinatown, from the cold egg stuffed with artichoke puree on the hors d'oeuvres tray to Salzburger Nockerln on the dessert plate (a weightless cloud of beaten egg floating atop a sea of brandied vanilla sauce).

For the bachelor chef who treats it with respect and understanding, the pristine egg can become a vessel of many such gustatorial delights. His first prerequisite, of course, is discrimination. Even the archaeologist on trek for fossils insists on a contemporary breakfast egg. Thanks to modern refrigeration, freshness isn't usually a problem, but even today in an occasional supermarket carton you'll run across a nogoodnik – a sorry specimen with watery white and sagging yolk. The magnanimous cook preparing omelets or scrambled eggs can afford to overlook such symptoms, but if poaching or frying is his wont, then swift but decent burial is strongly advised. The best safeguard is to give each egg the once-over in a small dish before committing it to pan or poacher.

Ancient Egyptians were said to have whirled their eggs in slings at such speeds that internal friction finally boiled them in their own shells. While we don't recommend that you try this technique yourself, there are a few modern improvements that might be suggested. First is the iron frying pan – the classic utensil of egg-meisters the world over – a seasoned skillet that has known only the velvety touch of omelet and wiping cloth. Its mellow surface is eternally innocent of meat or vegetable, soap or water. Those less fastidious or more gluttonous, of course, may prefer the trusty and commodious electric griddle, which can take on six or eight eggs at a time without making a cruel yolk of the proceedings. For shirring, earthenware and porcelain dishes are the thing; for poaching, the standard inset pan for those who favor gentle steaming. Whether you boil or bake, shir or coddle, fry or scramble, you'll want a long, pliable spatula that's wide enough to convey finished product to serving dish without loss of dignity.

But before you venture forth with whisk and chafing dish at the ready and tantalizing visions of crab meat foo yung or stracciatella a la Romana dancing mistily before your eyes, pause long enough to devour a few morsels of basic information on egg cookery. An egg taken directly from the refrigerator, for instance, will take more cooking time than one that's been nesting on the pantry shelf for an hour or so. A strapping leghorn egg must likewise spend longer on the fire than a pullet pellet. Another time-consumer is the small boiling pan with six or eight eggs in it – a crowd that reduces the water temperature so radically that you may have to wait ten minutes for three-minute eggs.

To a self-respecting hen, overcooking would be the most disgraceful destiny for her unsprung offspring. If you leave your shirred eggs in the oven a moment too long, they will come forth looking, and perhaps even tasting, like an albino innertube. On the top of the stove, eggs must always be cooked below the boiling point, with the water barely drawing its breath around the edge of the pan. At this genteel temperature, soft-boiled eggs should simmer three to five minutes, medium eggs six to eight minutes, hard-boiled eggs no less than fifteen to eighteen minutes. But remember – they must be firm, not stony. And as soon as they are plucked from the deep, they must be plunged into cold water. Otherwise internal heat will go right on cooking them, producing a baleful green-rimmed yolk that will stare reproachfully at the thoughtless chef. Edward Lear had another sobering thought:

"There was an old man from Thermopylae

Who never did anything properly; But they said, 'If you choose To boil eggs in your shoes,

You shall never remain in Thermopylae.'"

For young men who wish to remain in Thermopylae – and in the good graces of their feminine dinner guests – we commend the following delicacies:

[recipe_title]Poached Eggs Benedict[/recipe_title]

(Serves two)

6-oz. jar Hollandaise sauce

1 tablespoon vinegar

1/2 teaspoon salt

4 eggs

4 slices ready-to-eat ham

2 English muffins

1 small truffle

Warm the Hollandaise sauce, following directions on the jar. In a wide, shallow saucepan bring one quart of water to a boil, adding the vinegar and salt. Open each egg into a small dish, and then, stirring the boiling water with a spoon, slip each egg into the vortex. Reduce flame, and let simmer 3 to 4 minutes, spooning water over each yolk several times during cooking. Lift eggs from water with a slotted spoon and trim off any ragged edges of white. Place in a bowl of warm water until ready to serve. Broil or saute ham slices 3 or 4 minutes. On each serving dish place a split toasted muffin. Place a ham slice on each muffin half. Lift each egg from the water with a slotted spoon and rest on towel to drain all excess water. Then place on ham. Spoon Hollandaise on top of eggs, and trim with slivered truffle. Serve at once. Since there may be a few purists who recoil from prefab sauces, we present a full-blown but short-order recipe for Hollandaise:

[recipe_title]Hollandaise Sauce[/recipe_title]

(Serves two)

3 egg yolks

Juice of 1/2 lemon

1/2 cup hot melted sweet butter

Salt, pepper

Into the well of an electric blender, pour the egg yolks and lemon juice, and mix well for a few seconds. Then, with the blender at high speed, add the hot melted butter a teaspoonful at a time until it is completely absorbed. Remove from blender and salt and pepper to taste. Serve lukewarm, for excessive heat will curdle the sauce.

[recipe_title]Crab Meat Foo Yung[/recipe_title]

(Serves four)

6-oz. pkg. frozen king crab meat

8 eggs

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon monosodium glutamate

1/8 teaspoon pepper

3 tablespoons cold water

1/2, cup celery, cut into small dice

2 tablespoons scallions, thin-sliced

1/4 cup water chestnuts, thin-sliced

1/2 cup bean sprouts, well drained

Salad oil

Foo yung is a dish of flat omelets served with a hot clear Chinese sauce. To serve it as hot as possible, prepare the sauce (listed next) before the omelets are cooked. First, thaw crab meat. Then drain, squeeze dry, and break into small pieces. In a deep bowl beat eggs until whites are no longer visible. Add salt, monosodium glutamate, pepper, cold water, crab meat, celery, scallions, water chestnuts and bean sprouts. Mix well. In two omelet pans pour salad oil to a depth of 1/4 inch. When fat is hot, add one eighth of the egg mixture to each pan. When egg is browned on bottom, turn it with a wide spatula and brown on other side. Make eight flat omelets in this manner. Place two on each serving plate, and cover them with the hot sauce described below.

[recipe_title]Sauce For Egg Foo Yung[/recipe_title]

(Serves four)

1 cup chicken broth

1/2 teaspoon soy sauce

1/4 teaspoon brown gravy color

1/2 teaspoon sugar

1/4 teaspoon monosodium glutamate

4 teaspoons cornstarch

1/8 teaspoon pepper

Mix all ingredients in an electric (continued on page 114)Good Egg(continued from page 54) blender at high speed for 15 to 20 seconds. Pour into saucepan and cook, stirring frequently, until thick.

[recipe_title]Shirred Eggs With Shad Roe[/recipe_title]

(Serves four)

1 pair fresh or canned shad roe Salad oil

Salt, white pepper

Juice of 1/4 lemon

8 eggs

4 tablespoons melted butter

4 tablespoons butter (not melted)

2 tablespoons vinegar

1/4 cup drained capers

2 tablespoons minced parsley

Preheat broiler 10 minutes. Place roe in broiler pan, brush them lightly with salad oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. If fresh, broil them 8 to 10 minutes, turning once; if canned, only until light brown. Then sprinkle roe with lemon juice, cut them diagonally into slices about 1/2 in. thick, and divide into 4 portions. Pour 1 tablespoon melted butter into each shirred-egg dish, add 2 eggs, duly salted and peppered, and place roe slices on top of the eggs. Bake in 350° oven for 10 to 12 minutes or until whites of eggs are set; avoid overcooking. Meanwhile, brown the unmelted butter in a small frying pan, and add vinegar and capers. Then remove from fire. When the eggs are cooked, pour the buttered capers over them. Garnish with parsley and serve at once.

[recipe_title]Scrambled Eggs With Chili And Tomatoes[/recipe_title]

(Serves four)

8 slices fresh tomato, 1/2 in. thick

Salt, pepper, paprika

Flour

Salad oil

8 eggs

6 tablespoons sweet butter

1/3 cup canned green chili peppers cut into small dice

Sprinkle tomato slices with salt, pepper and paprika. Dip in flour, patting off excess. Heat oil to a depth of 1/8 in. in a skillet, and as soon as it sends up the first wisp of smoke, saute the tomato slices until lightly browned on both sides, and set aside in a warm place. Beat eggs until whites are no longer visible, and sprinkle generously with salt. Melt 4 tablespoons butter in a large skillet, or electric griddle set at 300°. Add eggs, chili peppers, and cook, stirring constantly and scraping pan bottom frequently, until half done. Add balance of butter and continue cooking and stirring until eggs are neither dry nor soupy. Spoon into serving dishes or platter and surround with slices of fried tomato.

[recipe_title]Scrambled Eggs With Roquefort Cheese[/recipe_title]

(Serves four)

1/2 lb. roquefort cheese

8 eggs

Salt, pepper, paprika

1/8 teaspoon Tabasco sauce

6 tablespoons sweet butter

Crumble the roquefort by hand or fork into small pieces and set aside. Beat eggs until whites are no longer visible and sprinkle lightly with salt, adding Tabasco sauce and mixing well. Melt 4 tablespoons butter in a skillet over a slow flame or in an electric griddle set at 300°. Add eggs and cook, stirring constantly and scraping pan bottom frequently, until half done. Add roquefort, balance of butter, and continue cooking and stirring until eggs are neither dry nor soupy. Spoon onto serving dishes or platter and serve with buttered toast triangles.

[recipe_title]Scrambled Eggs With Smoked Oysters[/recipe_title]

(Serves four)

Follow above recipe, but instead of roquefort, add one 32/3-oz. can cocktail smoked oysters, drained of oil. Cook until eggs are done and serve with buttered toast triangles.

[recipe_title]Spinach Omelet Parmesan[/recipe_title]

(Serves two)

10-oz. pkg. frozen chopped spinach

4 tablespoons butter

1 Spanish onion, cut into thinnest possible strips

4 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese

Salt, pepper, monosodium glutamate

6 eggs

2 tablespoons cold water

Cook spinach, following directions on package, and drain very well – squeezing out excess juice by hand if necessary. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a saucepan or skillet and sauté onions until light yellow, not brown. In a bowl combine spinach, onion and parmesan, season with salt and pepper to taste, and set aside. For each omelet beat 3 eggs, then add 1 tablespoon cold water, 1/4 teaspoon salt, a dash of monosodium glutamate and pepper. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in a pan; as soon as it sputters, pour in the eggs and half the spinach mixture, stirring at once. Wait a few seconds until the omelet begins to set on the bottom, then lift it with a spatula and tilt pan to permit uncooked egg to flow to the pan bottom, repeating several times if necessary. Keep flame low to permit omelet to cook through but not burn. When it has become soft yet cohesive on top, slide the omelet to the far edge of the pan, fold it in two or three, and turn onto serving dish.

[recipe_title]Mandarin Omelet With Curacao[/recipe_title]

(Serves two)

6 eggs

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla salt

2 tablespoons cold water

2 tablespoons butter

10-oz. jar mandarin orange segments

1/4 cup curasao

Confectioners' sugar

For each omelet beat 3 eggs well, add 2 tablespoons granulated sugar, 1/4 teaspoon vanilla, dash of salt, 1 tablespoon cold water, and pour onto 1 tablespoon sputtering butter in the omelet pan. Immediately add half the orange segments – well drained – and stir well. Wait a few seconds until the omelet begins to set on the bottom, then lift with spatula and tilt pan to permit uncooked egg to flow to the bottom, repeating several times if necessary. Keep flame low to permit omelet to cook through but not burn. When it has become soft yet cohesive on top, slide the omelet to the far edge of the pan, fold it in two or three, and turn onto warm serving dish or platter. Repeat procedure for second omelet. Heat the curacao in a small pan almost up to the boiling point, light it, and spoon over the omelets, letting it blaze until the flames die out. Sprinkle with confectioners' sugar and serve at once.

[recipe_title]Salzburger Nockerln[/recipe_title]

(Serves six)

1 pkg. instant vanilla pudding

21/4 cups milk

1/4 cup brandy

3 egg whites

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

3 egg yolks

2 tablespoons butter

Confectioners' sugar or vanilla sugar (To make instant pudding, 1 3/4 cups milk are normally required. By increasing the milk and adding the brandy, the mixture becomes a thick light sauce.) In a bowl combine the pudding, milk and brandy; beat for 1 minute, and place mixture in the refrigerator to chill until serving time. Pour separated egg whites into a deep bowl, add salt, and beat electrically until stiff. Very slowly, add the granulated sugar while continuing to beat until meringue is firm. Then add vanilla. Gradually fold the egg yolks – well beaten – into the whites. Melt the butter in a skillet preheated to 325°, and spoon in the egg mixture. Brown carefully on one side, then the other; it must be moist and foamy inside. Pour chilled sauce into serving dishes and spoon nockerln on top, sprinkle with confectioners' or vanilla sugar. Serve at once, and you'll agree that no creature great or small lays down her ova in so fine a cause as the noble pullus gallinaceus.