Great Stories from Showbiz

Probably no business has inspired as many heartwarming and uplifting stories as show business. Our own dowdy lives seem to be happier when we read about the struggles and successes of those who spend their lives in the theater, the movies and on television entertaining us and making us forget the cares of the day. There are many familiar stories about show business, and yet there are many stories still untold.

Through the years I've collected my own favorite untold show-business stories.

The first one took place at the greatest American opera house of them all. Maria Chianti had been flown over from La Scala to sing her most famous role, Madame Butterfly. The house was sold out for months, the audience was made up of men in white ties and women in diamond tiaras. There was no standing room.

Suddenly, 30 minutes before curtain time, Madame Chianti developed a severe case of laryngitis. She could hardly speak. The doctor arrived and said it was hopeless. She couldn't sing for a week.

Someone called for the understudy, an American girl who had never sung in grand opera before.

The manager told her, "Mary Lou, we have the choice of canceling the performance or letting you sing the role that Madame Chianti made famous. Do you think you're up to it?"

"Oh, please, sir, I've studied it for five years," Mary Lou cried. "I know I can do it. Just give me a chance."

The manager called in the conductor and the director. Then he said, "All right, Mary Lou, get in your costume, we're going to give you your big break."

Mary Lou flew out of the office and the manager went out in front of the curtain to calm the restless audience who felt something was wrong.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Madame Chianti has had an accident and will be unable to sing Madame Butterfly. The role will be sung by Mary Lou Fitzgibbons. Those of you who do not wish to stay can have your tickets refunded at the box office."

Suddenly everyone got up at once and made a dash for the box office to get their money back. Not one person stayed in his seat and Mary Lou Fitzgibbons never got to sing Madame Butterfly.

To this day no one knows if she could sing it or not.

• • •

Joanne Wutheringheights left her comfortable middle-class home in a small town in Wisconsin to make her mark in Hollywood, against the pleas of her parents and the boy next door who loved her. After months of waiting around she finally got an interview with F.L. Gimlet, the most important producer in the motion-picture capital.

Mr. Gimlet told the 21-year-old beauty, "Joanne, I've seen your tests and I think you're a great talent. You have beauty, personality and box-office appeal and I want you to play the lead in my next picture. There is only one thing I ask of the actresses who play in my films."

"Loyalty?" Joanne said.

"No," F.L. replied. "They must sleep with me."

Joanne got up angrily and said, "No thank you, Mr. Gimlet. If that(concluded on page 176) Great Stories(continued from page 107) is what it takes to get a job in Hollywood, I don't want it. If I can't get by on my talent alone, you can forget it."

"Well," said F.L., "if you change your mind, let me know. I won't be casting for a couple of months."

Joanne dashed out of the office, tears rolling down her cheeks, more determined than ever to get a job in Hollywood.

But no one else thought she had the makings of a star and all doors were closed to her.

After two months of hopeless job hunting, Joanne decided to go back to her hometown in Wisconsin and marry the boy next door. He was poor but he loved her.

At least he did at the beginning. Then he started beating her up. For no reason at all he would slug her. After six months of this, Joanne was really sorry she had refused to sleep with Mr. Gimlet. He was much nicer than her husband, and had she done it there was no question that she would have been a famous movie star today.

• • •

At one time Miriam Clinberry was one of the greatest singers of her time. She sang with the top pop orchestras in the country and her records sold millions. Then one day Miriam started to drink and her career went downhill. Little by little she sank from one job to the next until finally she drank so much that she couldn't find work at all. One night her old friend and agent, Sam Bozall, who hadn't seen her for years, heard that Miriam had been picked up drunk and was in a hospital near his office. He rushed over and said:

"Miriam, I've been looking for you everywhere. Ed Sullivan wants to put you on his show, Simon and Schuster wants to do your book, the Friars Club wants to give you a benefit."

"Who would be interested in me anymore?" Miriam said. "I'm washed up."

"No, you're not. You're an alcoholic. Everyone is interested in an alcoholic. All you have to do is reform and I can get you night-club dates all over the United States."

Well, Ed Sullivan did put Miriam on his show, Simon and Schuster did publish her memoirs and the Friars Club did give her a dinner. But nothing seemed to help. The show got bad reviews, the book didn't sell and the money the Friars Club raised went to some hospital Miriam never heard of.

In the end Miriam went back to her good friend Sam Bozall and said, "What happened to all those dates you were going to get me if I reformed?"

"I tried," said Sam, "but they already booked Lillian Roth."

"Well," said Miriam, "I'm going back on the booze. I've never been so bored in all my life."

"You're right," Sam agreed. "There is nothing like alcohol to make someone forget. To show you there's no hard feelings I'll send over a case of bourbon to your boardinghouse tonight."

No one ever heard of Miriam Clinberry again.

• • •

The final story concerns not a person but an elephant, the famed Trunko, star of the Bongling Circus, who had entertained children for 20 years. Unfortunately Trunko was getting old and blind and Mr. Bongling announced he would have to be shot.

A syndicated columnist wrote a story about Trunko and said he had arranged with a gamekeeper to take care of the elephant in his retirement. All that was needed was $7000 to make Trunko happy in his final days. He appealed to all those who had ever seen Trunko to send in their contributions as a tribute to the elephant who had devoted so much time to giving pleasure to others.

The reaction was spontaneous. Not $7000 but $25,000 was raised and the syndicated columnist with press photographers and television cameramen showed up at the Bongling Circus to take Trunko away to his retirement.

While the columnist was posing with Trunko and holding up the check that had saved his life, Trunko, whom you remember we said was going blind, knocked over the columnist and stepped on him, killing him in front of the horrified eyes of the millions of television spectators.

When the owner of the circus saw what had happened he immediately made up his mind. He took Trunko back to his cage and had new posters printed which said see trunko, the wild elephant who killed a syndicated columnist.

Trunko was once again the biggest drawing card of the Bongling Circus and he lived to entertain a new generation of children, dying peacefully in his sleep among the circus people that he had come to know and love.