How to Select Your First Wife

If you are still with us we will assume you have decided to get married. Your problem, then, will be to select your first wife, and to marry her quickly, since she will not have the qualities that make for a suitable fiancée.

Before we list the qualities to look for, we had best answer another frequent question:

Shall I Marry Beneath Myself?

We must all face this question squarely.

Try to look at yourself objectively. Make an honest but accurate estimate of your merits, charms and abilities. Be sure to tally up your mental qualities, the keen mind that is common to so many males.

Add to this sum your basic, simple maleness, which is so fine. You will probably be faced with this fact, as so many men are: You must marry beneath yourself. There is no other direction in which to marry.

The problem usually becomes one of degree. How far beneath you should you marry, and in what direction?

This leads us to the qualities to look for in the first wife.

A Firm, Healthy Body

The first wife, as opposed to the fiancée, must be practicable and serviceable. She is neither a toy, an ornament, nor a playmate. She will be your wife during the early, hard years before you can afford a staff of servants. She will serve as mother, cook, housemaid, chauffeur, nurse and charwoman. This will allow her, if she is nimble, six or seven hours of sleep a night, ample for a sturdy girl.

It is best, before deciding definitely, to test for firmness. Few of us would consider buying a grapefruit without squeezing it -- yet how many make the far more important choice of a close companion in a sloppy, hit-or-miss fashion?

Using the thumb and forefinger, exert gentle pressure along certain key muscles. A girl with good muscular tone will wear well and last for years, even if neglected occasionally. She will not tire easily, and will usually maintain a cheerful disposition despite long hours and hard work.

"Davie, you pinched me!"

"Oh, sorry, Phoebe. Must have slipped."

"Well, stop!"

"Have you ever thought of taking a bit more exercise?"

Endurance

Though the fiancée, as we have seen, needs occasional bursts of strength, the first wife must have endurance, must be good over the long haul.

There is no known method of testing this accurately, no way of telling by the cut of her jib, so to speak, how she will sail on a long beat to windward.

However, careful observation during times of stress, such as a marathon series of cocktail parties during Christmas week, will give some indication. Observe not the sparkle of personality nor the tinkle of surrounding laughter, but signs of physical deterioration, sagging of the diaphragm and abnormal clinging to or leaning upon doorjambs or male guests.

Doglike Devotion

The fun-loving qualities of the perfect fiancée have no place in the first wife, who will be allowed little time for unproductive merriment.

You will be looking for a girl who is earnest, conscientious, and possessed of (concluded on page 157)First Wife(continued from page 145) doglike devotion and a strong sense of duty.

She should be willing to follow you through thick and thin, expecting little, yet happy for every favor you bestow, grateful for every pat or kind word.

Beware the schemer, the girl who pretends devotion only to trap you into marriage. Simple errands often point the way to the right girl.

"Davie, I spent just hours trying to get City Hall to answer your question. Must have been to 20 departments."

(City Hall is an excellent place to test strength of character.)

"Oh? Find the answer, Susie?"

"Well, no, Davie, I didn't, but----"

"Got a permanent today, too, eh?"

(Be quick to note evidence of personal vanity or selfishness.)

"I simply had to -- I----"

"Doesn't matter, pet, I don't mind at all."

(No use making an open display of temper.)

Keep looking. No effort is too great if you are to find the girl of your dreams.

A Flexible Mind

Many men look for a girl with a strong mind. This is a mistake. Your own mind will be strong enough for both of you. Powerful mental equipment on the part of the wife leads only to friction and unpleasantness. Sparks can fly and tears may flow.

The first wife should have a good but flexible mind, one that will bend easily. Keep bending it in the right direction, and you will soon have a wife that is the envy of all your friends.

Many believe that education is harmful to the good wife. Nothing could be further from the truth. In hundreds of cases girls with actual degrees have made fine wives. Though there is little that the classroom can contribute to the work she will have to do, most modern girls' schools encourage games and bodybuilding sports. Field hockey, especially, is good. It ingeniously duplicates sweeping and mopping motions. Girls who marry quickly following school can even retain some of the same calluses, well-trained muscles, and nimble athletic reflexes.

Her real education will begin the moment the two of you become man and wife. All during this period, which may last for years, she will be learning, plucking the ripe fruit that hangs so heavily from your mental branches.

Good Breeding

The influence of heredity, which science tells us is so important, should not be overlooked. A girl with a good set of chromosomes is a prize indeed.

How, so many ask, can I check up on them?

Look to her family. A father, for example, who is on the board of directors of a number of influential corporations can be reasonably sure to have acceptable chromosomes. Worldly honors do not come by accident, and are only too often the result of good breeding and a well-chosen group of ancestors.

"Can I Really Find Her?"

"What are my chances," you may ask, "of finding such a woman?" Very small. But don't be discouraged. Remember that the new wife is only the raw material with which you will work. It will be your duty to train her, long and painful though the process may be.

If you keep at it, with little thought of self, but only a firm resolve to have a fine wife, you will succeed!

Detailed instructions follow in the next chapter.

Next month: "How to train your first wife"