The Playboy Coloring Book

In the wide, and sometimes weird, world of publishing, 1962 may well be remembered as The Year of the Coloring Book. Who before then would have guessed that droves of adults would pay loot for the privilege of seeing their foibles parodied in sprightly facsimiles of children's entertainment? Who indeed but three Chicago advertising copywriters-Marcie Hans, Dennis Altman and Martin A. Cohen-who started the fad with The Executive Coloring Book. To date, it has sold nearly 300,000 copies and has spawned scores of successors, including The Businessman's Coloring Book, The Corporation Coloring Book, The Psychiatric Coloring Book, The JFK Coloring Book, The New Frontier Coloring Book and-so help us-The Radio Time Buyer's Coloring Book. Angered at first by their imitators, Executive's execs filed a fistful of suits, but-perhaps mellowed by moola-they have since desisted, in favor of issuing a second offering of their own- The John Birch Coloring Book. At the height-or depth-of this growing glut, The Realist, a one-man gadfly journal, got into the act when its razor-witted editor, Paul Krassner (who is also a Playboy Contributing Editor), suggested several icon-tumbling, taste-defying, stuffed-shirt-pricking coloring-book titles. Among them are The U.S. Sailors Rendered Impotent by a Six-Month Cruise on a Nuclear Sub Coloring Book, The Braille Coloring Book for Use with Finger Paint and The Police Kicking S--t Out of Non-Violent Ban the Bomb Demonstrators Coloring Book. Eying all of this activity-color our eyes jaundiced-we realized we'd be remiss if we did not offer our readers a New Year's chance to flex their crayons with their own Playboy Coloring Book.

This is a Playboy. He lives a colorful life. Color him colorful. Would you like to be a Playboy? You would? Then first, put down your crayons ...

This is where the Playboy lives. It is called a pad. The pad is full of toys. There are seven stereo speakers in this picture. Find them and color them loud. See the blank picture frames on the wall? They are part of the Playboy's modern art collection. You may scribble in the blank spaces with your eyes closed.

Here is the Playboy with his two favorite toys. The one on the left is called a sports car. Color it fast. The one on the right is called a playmate. Color her pretty. Now color the rest of her. The Playboy's sports car can do 7000 rpm. How many rpm can the playmate do?.

These are extra Playmates. Every Playboy should have several to spare. That is because variety is the spice of life. The Playboy likes his life spicy. Make one of the girls a blonde. Make one of the girls a brunette. Make one of the girls a redhead. It does not matter which is which. The girls' hair colors are interchangeable. So are the girls.

This is the Playboy's little black book. No Playboy should be without one. Color it black. Do you have a little black book? Good. Write the names, addresses and telephone numbers of the prettiest playmates you know in your own little black book. After the name, address and phone number, write down the playmate's vital statistics. Also write down your own vital statistics about your last date with this playmate. Did you get to first base? Did you get to second base? Did you get to third base? Did you score? Isn't this fun? It is just like baseball. Only better. Do not bother to copy down the names and numbers from the book on this page. They are phony. If you would like to send us your little black book after it is all filled out, we will be happy to grade it for you. And we will send you a nice thank-you note. Or maybe a get-well card.

The Playboy lives on credit. He has a credit card for everything. He hasn't paid cash for anything in the last 10 years. Next week he is joining a new credit card company. It is the best one of all. With this company's credit card, you can sign for monthly bills you receive from other credit card companies.

This is the Playboy's best vintage champagne. He only opens a bottle on special occasions. It is Saturday night and the Playboy has a playmate in his pad. It is a special occasion. So were Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

This is the Playboy's office. He goes there to write stories. The stories are called expense accounts. The boss must like them because he says they are likely stories. The girl in the picture is the Playboy's private secretary. The Playboy likes to tell her other kinds of stories. He has just told a story to his secretary. Color her face red. The Playboy's secretary cannot type, or spell, or take shorthand. Color her hair yellow, and her eyes green, and her lips red, but leave her mind blank. The Playboy's secretary has a funny birthmark, but it is covered by her blouse. If you wait for a few minutes, perhaps you can color the birthmark.

This is the Playboy's Japanese valet. He is laying out the Playboy's English suit, Italian shoes and French-cuff shirt. The Playboy is very internationally inclined. He is thinking about joining the Peace Corps. He thinks he will wait until there is an opening in Monte Carlo.

The Playboy likes foreign movies. He likes them because they are artistic, sensitive and outspoken. Here is a scene from a foreign movie. Do you see the lady on the screen? She is an artistic, sensitive actress. Color her panties an artistic, sensitive black.

The Playboy is dining out. He dines at only the best restaurants, because he is a gourmet. Whatever that means. The Playboy and his date have ordered chateaubriand, rare. Color it dark brown. The Playboy is looking for a waiter. Color his face purple. There are five waiters hidden in this picture. Can you find them? Neither can the Playboy. If you find them, color their hearts black. The Playboy wishes he was home in bed. Color the reason he wishes he was home in bed.

The Playboy is throwing a party in his pad. The hi-fi is turned up very high. The Playboy's neighbors have just called to complain. They have asked him to please lower the sound. It is annoying them. They are vacationing in Bermuda. The fat man is telling a crude joke. Color him blue. The fat man isn't much fun at parties, but he is always invited anyway, because he is the Playboy's pal. The fat man owns a model agency and he always brings his models with him to parties. The Playboy chooses his pals carefully. Someone must stay after the party is over and help the Playboy clean up his pad. Who will the Playboy invite to stay and help clean up his pad? Will the ravishing redhead in the green cocktail dress be invited to stay and help? Will the beautiful brunette in the lavender toreador pants, who is beating on the bongo drums, be invited to stay and help? Will the pretty blonde wearing the glasses, and the strapless dress, and the strapless 39-D brassiere be invited to stay and help? One thing is sure, the fat man will not be invited to stay and help.

The party is over. The Playboy is alone in his pad. Oh, look, the pretty blonde wearing the glasses, and the strapless dress, and the strapless 39-D brassiere has been invited to stay and help. She and the Playboy are getting better acquainted. Color her eyes as azure blue as the Mediterranean at dusk on the Italian Rifiera. Color her lips the red of the finest wine from France. Color her hair as golden yellow as the sun at high noon in Egypt. The Playboy has promised to take the pretty blonde to all these places. Make her glasses rose-colored. Color the Playboy's lies white.

Here is the Pretty Blonde Girl again. See how she stands in front of the church? She has been standing in front of the church for a long while now. Why is she wearing that funny white dress? Is she waiting for the Playboy? She is going to have a long wait. Color this page completely black. Then tear it out and burn it.