How to Save Money on Your Wife's Clothing

The farseeing husband knows how important it is for his wife to be well-groomed at all times. The sloppy, poorly dressed wife creates a bad impression everywhere, and can even be harmful to a man's standing in the community and in his business relations.

Remember that a dollar spent to make your wife lovely is a dollar invested not only in her future, but in your own.

But be thrifty

Luckily, good grooming and careless spending do not go hand in hand. Some of our best-groomed matrons are ones who spent the least actual cash, though their investments in taste and careful planning can be large indeed.

There are many ways for the thoughtful husband to help his wife cut clothing expenses.

Use the Model Wife. She can be the same character, real or fictitious, discussed in an earlier article. An occasional word or two about her can be inspiring.

"By the way, pet, Joe's wife stopped in at the office today. What a knockout!"

"Oh?"

"She hasn't your basic good looks, Phoeb -- essentially a plain woman -- (A bit of flattery is good here.)

"It's just that she has a genius for clothes. She was wearing this suit --"

"Expensive, I'll bet."

"No, as a matter of fact, she ran it up herself. Bought a 30-cent pattern, and used the old auto-seat covers. Knocked it off in just a few weeks."

The hat problem

Though a woman's hat is utterly useless, performing no function whatever in warming, protecting or shedding rain, many women have an emotional desire for new ones.

The husband who resists this stoutly will be doing his wife a real service. We list a few tested methods.

Admire Her Hair. A woman who has any hair at all believes it is beautiful. Knowing this is a valuable weapon in itself.

"Glorious the way this light strikes your hair, pet."

"Oh, you like it, Davie?"

"Flecks of pure gold in it."

(No matter what the color of a woman's hair, she will always accept the fact that it has flecks of gold in it.)

"Oh, really?"

"Take off that hat, will you?"

"But it's a new hat, Davie!"

"Ah, that's better! Why is it that you always look so much lovelier with your hat off? Must be your beautiful hair, pet."

Narrow the Field. It you aren't successful in eliminating the hat altogether, the next best thing is to reduce the number of variations.

Always maintain that you prefer the small black hat, the smaller the better. Scoff at all decorations.

"How do you like my hat, Davie?"

"Fine, pet, really brings out the blue in your eyes."

(Make the opening remarks without looking at the hat.)

"You haven't even looked at it."

"Oh. Yes. Always liked that hat."

"It's a new hat, David."

"I liked it better before you put the little doohickey on it."

"David, it's new, the whole hat."

"Really? Well, why don't you just take the doohickey off anyway?"

"Well, if I do, it'll be just the same as the other one."

"Oh, will it?"

It may take a few years, but after a while she will begin to see the hidden logic of this.

If, on the other hand, you discover she has added an inexpensive decoration to an old hat, your course is clear.

"I like that new skimmer, Phoeb, does a lot for you."

"It isn't new, Davie, I just put this little dime-store rhinestone on here, and--"

"Well, it looks new! By golly, somehow it does something to your whole face, Phoeb, gives it a kinda glow."

If necessary, start this yourself. Pick up a sprig of bittersweet, say. There is a good supply in most reception rooms.

"For you, pet. Saw a nice little old lady selling it, and it just cried out for you! Remember that wonderful little black hat of yours?"

"Davie, they're practically all little black hats!"

"The one I like so much. There!"

(Pick any one, at random.) "Just toss the bittersweet here, pin it, and -- voilà!"

"Well, I don't know --"

"Really does something for you, Phoeb. Gives you a kinda glow."

The Woman-or-the-Hat Approach. Occasionally your wife, in spite of all your efforts, insists on a large and, she will think, dramatic hat. The unskilled husband objects violently. This is unwise. The more you protest, the more she will want the hat.

Take the opposite tack -- praise it extravagantly.

"You really like it, Davie?"

"Like it? Phoeb, I simply can't take my eyes off it. I guess it's the most beautiful hat I've ever seen."

"Really?"

"Honest injun. It's such a really stunning hat that I wonder if --" (Hesitate a moment and then shake your head slowly.)

"What's the matter, Davie?"

"No, I think you could get away with it. Only a really beautiful face could compete with it, pet, and I think you're the gal."

"Oh?"

"Maybe with a little more lipstick, or something."

The problem of style

Unlike men, women do not wear out clothes. They throw them away while still quite sturdy because they are "out of style."

The woman who believes she is out of style feels the same way a man feels without his trousers. This is purely a mental problem. Help your wife face it. She will be better adjusted, and your savings will be encouraging.

Avoid High Style. Very high style changes every month, with each new edition of the fashion magazines. Gentle humor is your best defense against it. This requires little thought, since the very latest thing will have one or more bulges, lumps, flares, or other trick departures from the normal lines of the female figure.

Wait until your wife spots a walking exhibit of haute couture.

"There, Davie, that's just what I want, the --"

"I see."

(Look at a different woman.)

"Isn't it beautiful?"

"I do like it, Phoeb. Clean, simple. Doesn't do her any harm, though, being next to that clown getup. Look at the green job with the bulges."

"David, I mean the green one!"

"Oh, really?"

Delay, if You Can. The cheerful delay is also effective against high style. Put off the purchase a month or so and you can be sure she won't want it anymore.

"Please, Davie, please?"

"Yes, indeed, Phoeb, you must have it. The latest and best is none too good for my Phoebe!"

"Thanks, David."

"In fact, I'll go with you when you try it on, OK?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Fine. Oh, can't make it tomorrow. Let's try for early next week."

(Keep this up for just a few weeks, then remark:)

"Oh, Phoeb, Joe's wife dropped into the office today. Had on one of those off-the-hip-bone jobs we were going to get you."

(Note: "We were.")

"Oh, those. She can have it, Davie. Didn't catch on at all."

Use Flattery. Since most high styling is designed for wealthy but shapeless women, it is calculated to obscure the figure rather than reveal it. This will give you an excellent excuse to flatter your wife and to reduce spending, all at once.

"Don't you think it's stunning, Davie?"

"Well, ingenious anyway, Phoeb. Damn clever way to hide those fat hips. Mighty glad my purty streamlined little gal doesn't need cheaters like that! Takes a figure like yours, Phoeb, to wear a little black dress!"

(The man who establishes early the principle of the Little Black Dress can save himself the price of a sports car in the course of any marriage, even a short one.)

How to avoid fur coats

A quarter inch of light, inexpensive insulating material sandwiched between two layers of cloth is far warmer than the hair of any animal. However, it will do you no good to point this out to your wife.

Every Woman Wants a Fur Coat. She will believe that a fur coat will bring her happiness. This is not true. Start her out with a rabbit skin and she will be unhappy until she has a muskrat. Get her a muskrat and she won't rest until she has a beaver. Buy the beaver and she will yearn for a mink. This goes on through mutation minks, sables, ermines, and so on. Spend $20,000 for a silver-blue mink and she will spot one that is bluer.

However, it will do you no good to point this out, either. Nor will it help to itemize the inital cost, the tax, and the considerable operating expenses in the form of insurance, summer storage, glazing, repairs and the like. She will believe you are thinking of yourself.

The Sable-or-Nothing Device. Always remember that nothing is too good for your wife.

Make it clear that you want to buy her a fur coat -- but only the best fur coat.

"Davie, I was just thinking. It's beginning to get cold now and, well. I just happened to walk by the fur --"

"Did you?" (Rush in quickly. To delay at this stage may bring disaster.) "Reminds me that Joe's wife chopped by the office today. Had on one of those, uh, rat-skin coats."

"You mean muskrat, Davie? That's just what I --"

"Some kind of rat. Meant to look like mink. Ha, imagine wearing a fake mink! Not for my girl!"

"But David, all I've got is this old tweed!"

"It's a real tweed, though, baby! Know what I want for you, Phoeb? Sable. Sable or nothing, baby."

"But you've been saying that for six years!"

"And I still mean it! Nothing's too good for you, Phoeb!"

The Allergy. One of the miracles of modern medicine is the fact that we now have a number of interesting diseases that our forefathers were not even aware of. In fact, we are discovering new and fascinating illnesses almost as fast as we learn to cure the old ones.

Some of the most intriguing of all the new discoveries are the allergies, among them the fur allergy.

Develop one of these quickly, for it will be effective only if begun early.

Suppose, for example, that your wife buys a dress or cloth coat with a bit of fur on the collar.

"Davie, how do you like the new --"

"Aaaaaah-choooo!"

"Well, God bless you!"

"Aaaaa-chooo! Go away, Phoeb, go away with that awful -- aaaah-chooo! -- fur collar! I can't be within -- aaaaaah-chooo! -- 10 feet of any kind of -- aaaaaah-choooo! -- fur!"

She will return the offending garment and select only cloth coats. Get her a good one.

Our Little Four-Footed Friends. Most women, bless them, are tenderhearted. Given the right facts, their impulses are often fine and generous.

"Davie, isn't it time we talked some more about a fur --"

"That reminds me, Phoeb. Had an interesting talk with a fur man today, down at the office."

"Oh, Davie, you're sweet!"

"He was explaining to me why some pelts have a sorta gnawed look in the corner. Little devils try to chew off their own feet. You know, the one that's caught in the trap."

"Oh, David, stop!"

"Probably doesn't hurt 'em too much. Only stay in the traps a couple of days."

"How cruel!"

"Can't blame the trappers, really. It's the women who buy the fur coats. Glad you're so sensible about that, Phoeb."

Be proud of your wife

But remember, do not be niggardly. If your wife wants to buy a good, durable dress with lasting classical lines, let her do so. The ragged, threadbare wife is evidence of a selfish husband.

Be generous with your praise, too. If she has run up a trim house dress out of the old bedroom curtains, appreciate it. Women thrive on appreciation.

Before you know it you will have a wife who is smart, well-dressed and self-assured.

She will be a good investment.

Next month: "How to select the second wife"