Gifting the Girls

Before making his presents known, the gift-wise guy seeking to earn laurels as a Santa extraordinaire will observe the golden yule of giving: Know thy lady fair. For every Christmas belle worth ringing is cast of a different precious mettle and has her own striking timbre of individuality: She'll be ecstatic over any trifle that could only be hers. But she'll think more of the gift than of the giver, no matter how extravagant it is, if it doesn't combine imagination, creativity and understanding.

You'll remain a sane Santa, and stay afloat during the annual Christmastidal wave, if you introduce method to the year-end madness. First, this is the time of year to update your yule log, weeding out the losers and shuffling the rest by category. From the general--the chic, feminine type; the competent business girl; the lithe-limbed healthy outdoor girl; the aesthetic-intellectual type; or the tantalizing child-woman--move on to the particular: How well do you know each entry, and how well do you want to know her? If you just met her at a cocktail party, an inexpensive token associated with the subject of your conversation might be appropriate. If she's been a longtime, but casual, acquaintance--and you want to keep it that way--choose from a wide array of impersonal gifts, such as luggage, handkerchiefs, clocks, candies, food, cigarette accessories, books, prints, records, umbrellas, costume jewelry, wines, liquors and liqueurs. If you'll be spending the holiday with her, then you'll want to buy something that balances luxury with intimacy: special made-to-order items (a tailored suit, a hat or a robe), something in sterling silver, a piece of original art, or a lush selection of lingerie or negligees (normally, however, you don't provide cover for the terrain unless you've already reconnoitered it).

If she has a taste for the deluxe--and what girl hasn't?--you'll score high with jewels, furs or perfume--for example, a flacon of Jean Patou's Joy, or an exquisitely packaged scent by Prince Matchabelli or Lanvin. If your romance is serious and you're willing to spend seriously, consider fur: Think mink, chinchilla or sable--if you're able. If not, furs that are less expensive, but impressive nonetheless, include casual jackets in wildcat, South American lamb, pony, sheared muskrat and black or red fox. Other gifts of garb that combine fur with fabrics may be even less costly, but just as glamorous: A pair of good examples are a gabardine trench coat lined in mink or lynx, or a fitted wool coat lined in leopard. Then there are the miniature furs, such as a black fox or sable muff, or a leopard ascot and hat. If she already has a fur to keep her warm, you may want to give her an accessory such as a red fox bedspread, leopard car rug, or a tiger skin to be used as a wall or floor covering.

To engrave your image into her personal picture, send something that clearly indicates an intention of sharing: an imported espresso machine, with a pair of demitasse cups and saucers; an excellent champagne, with two choice glasses; two carved fruit knives, with a note promising that you'll bring the peaches; a pair of ducats to the theater.

If you have already left an impression on her consciousness, and want to evoke images of retroactive sharing, favor her with a gift reminiscent of your past activities together. Have you gone to the ballet ensemble? Then give her an elegant set of pearl opera glasses. If you were recently caught in the rain together--and made the best of it--commemorate the occasion with an umbrella. Do you and she play word games? Then give her a giant game treasure chest. If you share music wherever you go, buy her a transistorized FM/AM portable, or a radio/phonograph console for her apartment. If she squeals with joy when you take her photo, buy her a camera--and for an added kick, shoot something that has special meaning for her and leave it in the camera as a surprise development.

If she believes that the way to your heart is through your stomach, then help smooth her way with a complete spice collection; or an out-of-print cookbook; or a copper coffee mill; or any of an endless variety of serving utensils: chafing dishes, hot plates, vegetable warmers, sauceboats, butter melters, pepper mills, salt shakers, serving tongs, grinders. Or surprise her with some professional kitchen tools, such as a porcelain double boiler, an asparagus steamer, a duck press or a Georgian porcelain mold. If she often entertains formally, then choose from among the fine china and silver shops in town for a set of Baccarat stemware, Georgian silver serving spoons, Crown Derby dinner plates, or Spode dessert plates.

If her tastes tend more toward the cultural than the culinary, then please her musical ear with a classical guitar, a complete collection of Beethoven's piano sonatas by Schnabel, some archive waxings of Bessie Smith, Bix Beiderbecke, Billie Holiday; or flatter her artistic eye with a Degas pastel, a good oil by a local painter, a membership in an art museum; or gratify her literary taste buds with an antique-bound set of essays, a series of subscriptions to "little" magazines, poetry recordings from the Library of Congress, Richard Burton's recently recorded rendition of Hamlet.

Is she dedicated to fashion? Then give her a set of subscriptions to the world's leading magazines of haute couture. Is she devoted to skiing? Then get her a new ski outfit, from parka to Bogners, and an invitation to spend a long weekend with you at some favorite ski haunt. Is she a hellion on wheels? Then buy her a Honda, Vespa or Yamaha motor scooter in her favorite color.

Does she come on as a femme fatale? Then send her a small crystal chandelier for her bathroom, panels of Sadie Thompson beads to hang in a window or doorway, an Oriental incense burner, a Balenciaga theater coat covered with jewels, a Chinese brocade coat, cut glass decanters for her dressing table, a mobile champagne cooler, a monogrammed velvet comforter, a tufted hassock or a quilted bedspread.

If she's addicted to the archaic, you'll find a bonanza of boons in secondhand bookshops, auction galleries, resale stores and other repositories of the antique. Try to locate a perfume bottle with a royal crest on it, a wine decanter with an early date, a jewel box with a secret compartment, the 11th edition of the Encyclopaedia Britannica.

Extremism in pursuit of the perfect present is no vice. If she's a way-out girl, get her a way-out gift, such as a gallon of her favorite toilet water, a tissue-thin watch, an enormous standing salad bowl, a complete selection of Hermès gloves in every shade of brown from off-white to off-black, a tiny portable typewriter, an indoor herb garden, an oversize brandy snifter filled with a complete selection of textured and patterned stockings from Dior.

If you want to impress but are under duress, you can bank on the happy fact that most women are very label conscious. A chiffon scarf from Neiman-Marcus, a deck of cards from Cartier or a silver bookmark from Tiffany may have more meaning than a costlier gift from a popular department store.

Moreover, a relatively inexpensive gewgaw that reflects your understanding of her interests and drives will be worth more than an oil-well deed. If she's a career girl who just moved up to her own private office, give her a leather correspondence portfolio with her name and title engraved on it. If she's the recent owner of a new car, give her a gold ignition key. If she's studying voice or drama, a tape recorder will make you sound just right to her.

Sometimes a man's offering to his yuletide belle can ring falsely, thereby eliciting not peals of joy but reverberations of reproach. Good intentions alone will not prevent this, but planning and common sense will. For example, a little anticipatory thought will caution you not to buy billowy wardrobe items for a gal who lives in a miniature efficiency apartment. Or not to give clothing that requires extraordinary care to a girl with a limited budget. Similarly, plain tact would prevent you from giving her something that implies criticism of her appearance or habits--e.g., electric razors, soaps, deodorants, glamor courses, exercise equipment or diet guides.

A few other sensible don'ts to keep in mind: Don't select decorative gifts that will clash with her present furnishings--a folksy Pennsylvania Dutch settee will hardly be appreciated if she surrounds herself with pieces style Marie Antoinette. If you're giving jewelry, don't get carried away and buy her a diamond ring--unless you're prepared for the permanence it implies; a jeweled lipstick case, pin, brooch, compact or bracelet will tell her how much you care, without indicating that you're ready to throw in the sponge. Don't try to impress her with your own intellectual accomplishments by throwing cultural curves at her--in other words, if she doesn't care to read anything deeper than women's magazines, don't give her the complete, untranslated works of Marcel Proust.

Don't cop out on the selection of a gift by sending her a gift certificate--that's almost as crass as giving cash. If you're boxed in by circumstances, however, and must do it, then do it with a flair: Rather than presenting her with a certificate for a hat, ask a top-notch milliner to deliver an empty hatbox with a note from you saying that you'd like her to have a chapeau designed especially for her. Or have her favorite flower delivered in a corsage from a leading tailor, with a note indicating that it is to be worn on a suit he has been commissioned to create for her.

A final don't: Don't hamstring yourself with don'ts. Your own instinct should tell you what's right and what's not. Do observe several simple shopping rules--these will make the difference between enjoying or exhausting yourself.

You're no doubt tired of hearing advice to shop early and stay far from the madding crowds. Old as this counsel may be, it's perfectly sound, and we suggest that you heed it. Add to it the following tips: Friday is the best shopping day; rainy or snowy days are excellent; the early hours (before 11:30 A.M.) can't be beat; do your shopping alone, for mobility and easy decision making. It's especially important to shop early for custom-made or monogrammed gifts. Be sure to have, on the other hand, a bountiful supply of baubles, such as glass paperweights, Florentine leather boxes, silk squares, handkerchiefs and the like, as a turnabout reserve against those last-minute presents you never expected.

You'll save time, no matter when you shop, if you carry your own personal cards to go along with your gift packages. Also take a couple of pens. Unless you charge everything, carry plenty of small bills and change: Paying the exact amount at each counter saves time.

Many men avail themselves of the organized personal shopping services offered by top department stores and specialty shops throughout the country. Charming, knowledgeable consultants will go over your gift list and then accompany you through the store while you make your selections. Other stores cater to male shoppers by setting aside separate areas for them. Surrounded by gifts for women, the man is invited to relax while a skilled salesperson helps make the right choices for each girl on his list. Often, models are on hand to represent the different types, both as to personality and physical proportions.

If you require assistance, but prefer to shop in stores that do not offer these services, look in the classified pages of your phone book for a professional shopping service. For a fee, they will do everything from selecting items to having them wrapped and delivered.

Almost as important as the gift itself is the wrapping. A beautiful job, whether done by yourself or a service, can't fail to enhance the beauty of the gift. For routine presents, of course, you can utilize the routine ribbon-round-the-package service at the sales counter, but your special gifts require special wrapping service, which can be found elsewhere in the store. The charge is nominal, and you can choose between telling the wrapper what you want--to impart a personal touch--or relying on her (usually good) judgment.

If you don't trust other hands with this important job, you'll find ample materials in department stores, paper-supply houses, fabric stores, stationers (for gold, red or blue notary seals) and florists (for unusual ribbons). If you do the chore yourself, it is wise to wrap each gift on the day you buy it; it's no fun facing a mountain of unwrapped presents on Christmas Eve.

Having found and bound just the perfect presents for your ladies fair, it is best to deliver all but that one most special gift on Christmas Eve or earlier. Then you can relax for a warm winter's toast with your chosen one, content in the knowledge, as you face a new year, that, having freely given, you shall freely receive.