Gifting the Girls

for a golden yule: a guide for guys on pleasing their playmates

When It Comes to finding the proper present for the proper girl, we are firm believers in gifting by association. Match your cadeau de Noël to her most personal tastes and dreams and you'll ring the Christmas belle for being a thoughtful Santa. Even the most opulent gift that shows little imagination on your part will take second place to the personal offering that tells her you really have been paying attention all year long.

The first step is to figure how many of the lovelies in your life are to receive largess this season, so get out your address book and go over it page by page, keeping your winners and weeding out the losers. Remember the golden yule rule: Each girl remaining is different from the others and your gift should be particularly chosen for the particular miss.

Each of your female friends probably fits into one of these categories: the ultrachic, felinely feminine type; the crisply competent business girl; the lithe-limbed, healthy outdoor girl; the culture-conscious, aesthetic-intellectual type; or the tantalizingly changeable child-woman. The niche into which each femmefalls should give you a hint about what is apt to please her.

Now, with list in hand, you are almost ready to purchase the perfect presents. But linger a bit longer to answer these questions about each girl on your list: Should her gift be practical or frivolous? Intimate or personal? How much does she mean to you and, more important, how much do you want her to mean?

In choosing the right gift for the right young lady, the length of time you've known her is important. If the ink is still damp in your book, but you'd like to pursue the contact--an inexpensive yet unusual present is the best move. Build on your shared past--from where you met, what you talked about, what you had in common. If you talked about skiing, send her a pair of wild mittens or a crazy woolen cap with a card that tells her you're ready to hit the slopes whenever she is. If you talked about food and she prides herself as a cordon bleucook, go to a secondhand bookstore and search out an antique cookbook, or look in on a gourmet grocery and get an unusual utensil such as a heavy French crepe pan.

If you're old friends but your times with her have been platonic and you want to keep it that way, an impersonal gift is in order. Umbrellas, fountain pens, candy, luggage, handkerchiefs, books, records, colognes, traveling clocks, cigarette lighters and costume jewelry, chosen to conform to her tastes and her other possessions, all indicate friendship pure and simple.

Christmas spirits, if well chosen, make fine presents and can be relatively easy on the budget. To get a bit of offbeat memorabilia, give your young thing a fine old bottle of wine bearing the vintage year of her birth. For an older flame, get a great champagne bottled the year you met. In either case, include a pair of just-for-the-two-of-you glasses. For eye-catching last-minute gifts, liquor stores offer a safe haven, with a wide range of special holiday gift bottles. Along more luxurious lines, you might consider the jewellike splendor of a Baccarat crystal decanter of Louis XIV cognac encased in green velvet. If she knows her wines, or wants to learn, give her an expandable wine rack made of interlocking aluminum sleeves, and include a sampling of good stock to get her cellar started.

In choosing a really important present for that very special someone, remember that every female is born with a taste for luxury furs. The never-fail offerings of sable, mink and chinchilla come in many varieties from hats, stoles, scarves, ascots and short jackets to full-length coats. But many girls can be made just as happy with something a bit less rich. A leopard-skin turban and scarf, a rib-cord raincoat with a lining of natural fox fur, a quilted suede jacket lined with raccoon or a tigerskin blouse are all good bets.

The old bromide that good things come in small packages is really true, especially when you contrast them with an oversized present that substitutes bulk for value. Always try for best of breed when selecting your purchases. The finest of its kind makes for a lasting gilt, no matter how small. Go to Cartier's, Arpels, or your own local top-quality jewelry store and buy a simple gold lapel pin rather than an extravagant array of inexpensive costume jewelry. The better jewelers understand this and many of them have gift bars with items from $10 to $100 available and packaged with the same distinction as their more expensive jewelry.

If you're in the market for gems, be very careful about giving a girl a ring with any kind of diamond, unless you really mean the permanence that goes with it.

By far the easiest of the luxury line, both on purchaser and purse, is perfume. It's a breeze to buy and can usually be found--even at the last minute--almost anywhere. If you're going to send her scent, be sure the sweet smell is a success. If she's loyal to one fragrance, buy her the whole set from purse flaconto dressing-table cologne, or add a Swedish-crystal atomizer. If she has a collection of aromas, give her a gift order for a custom-made blend of her very own from a fine cosmetics house.

In considering a gift of garb, it is usually best to avoid the quickly outmoded high fashions or eccentric shades, except for eccentric girls. Bothersome fabrics that spend most of their lives at the cleaners don't do her any good at all. Be sure that whatever you get her complements her existing wardrobe in taste, color and size. Cashmere sweaters, silk blouses, scarves, elbow-length gloves, stretch pants, Japanese kimonos, one-of-a-kind belts, and handbags of all sizes are always accepted with open arms. If you give her a purse, enclose an extra surprise: a pair of tickets to the opera, a monogrammed key ring or a silver cigarette case.

If she's sentimental, a small gold charm that recalls a special event or date will enchant her. If she's a softie, she'll also be swayed by a silver cigarette box, lighter or telephone desk pad engraved with your secret nonsense word or the first letters of a significant message, a line from her favorite poem or your special song.

No matter how levelheaded she may appear to be, the chances are that deep down she wants to be surprised by her present. If there's something she really needs, she can buy it for herself. Our idea of the ideal gift is one she wants but wouldn't go out and buy. Things like a silver and teak ice bucket, a solid-gold lipstick brush, a locket on a chain with your picture in it, a porcelain demitasse set, precious-jeweled charms, a luxuriously tapered umbrella, an ermine throw, limousine service for a dozen evenings of her choice, a pair of at-home fantaisie evening slippers or toe-ring jeweled sandals for discothéque action at Arthur, an asymmetric gilded sari, a hip-belted skirt of white snakeskin, a printed cashmere leotard, a brown leather windbreaker suit, a zigzag skiing sweater, peacock-blue paisley seraglio pajamas, a trim mushroom-colored cavalry jacket, a challis handbag--any of these are elegant, sought-after Christmas specials.

Coupling a pair of gifts into one adds fun and flourish to what might otherwise be a brace of ho-hum presents. A giant brandy snifter filled with multicolored silk scarves in layers, to look like an oversized parfait, is an example.

In furniture and furnishings, be guided by what she already owns and avoid superimposing your own taste on hers. It's a good idea to stay in the area of design she has already selected for herself. If she digs Victorian, or high camp and Tiffany lamps are lighting the scene, even the best Lightolier modern would be a mistake. But--if her decor is contemporary--you can help her add a new dimension to her apartment by giving her an antique to serve as a single accent. If she opts for the plastic arts, a Chinese porcelain or a small bronze statuette might be welcome. Even if her pad is ultramodern, a Victorian paperweight could sit nicely against a starkly contemporary coffee table.

A girl likes to take pride in herself as she is, so don't give her something along the self-help line--such as soaps, diet books or exercise guides, unless you're going to send her for a week to Elizabeth Arden's El Dorado, the Maine Chance Farm in Arizona, or at least for a Miracle Morning at one of Arden's local salons.

To protect yourself from the perennial last-minute oversight and to avoid being embarrassed by the unexpected girlfriend with the unexpected present for you, buy a few extra all-purpose gifts (handsomely gift-wrapped, of course), such as a Florentine-leather jewel box, or perhaps a set of handkerchiefs. Failing these, you can still save the day with perfume--eminently available and usually found on the ground floor near the door in pocket-size already-gift-wrapped packages.

Before you actually buy anything, however, it's a good idea to brush up on the rules of the curious native ritual known as Christmas shopping.

Go it alone. This will mean you can get around easier and faster and make your decisions without a lot of extraneous discussion and unhelpful hints.

We don't want to sound like an advertisement for the post office, but you should start shopping as early in the season as possible. That way you can avoid the crowds and, more important, the temporary sales clerks, who usually need more help themselves than they can ever give you. Friday is the best day, or any time when the weather is bad. But whatever day you pick, start shopping early--preferably before 11:30 A.M.

You can avoid backtracking by making a list before you start. A loose-leaf notebook you can slip in and out of your pocket is better than loose slips of paper.

Make sure your yule log includes street addresses as well as names: You may stumble on an unexpected find that can be gift-wrapped and sent directly. Take your own pen, and carry your personal card to include in the packages.

Carry small bills and loose silver. You can save yourself hours if you are able to pay the exact amount without having to wait for change.

Monogramming not only helps personalize your gift, but it keeps her from rushing back to exchange the present and thus finding out what you paid for it. But the real advantage is that initials can transform a simple gift such as stationery into something special. If you are going to have something monogrammed, give the stores time.

Many of the top department stores and specialty shops have come to the aid of the beleaguered male shopper and have organized personal shopping consultants who will go over your Christmas list with you and even accompany you through the store to help you make your selections.

Other stores have separate areas set aside for men only. Surrounded by a galaxy of girlish gifts, you are asked to sit down, have a smoke and a cocktail while a skilled salesgirl wheels a cart full of gifts to you for your selection.

Remember to pay special attention to department-store sections that cater to women's particular interests. These shops-within-a-store usually consist of: the boutique, small items collected from far-flung craftsmen; the gourmet shop, tinned, glassed and packaged food to suit the most exotic taste; the bar shop, decanters, glassware, swizzlers and all bar accessories; and the perfume bar, providing all the name brands and some special holiday packages as well.

Most big cities have professional shopping services that provide a consultant who will go over your list, suggest items, shop for you and even have packages wrapped and delivered. They are not confined to one store, but can shop die whole town for you. But remember, the professional shoppers charge a fee that depends on the assignment, while in individual stores the service is part of customer relations and is free.

You're well on the way to the perfect present if whatever you give her is beautifully wrapped. Virtually all de-partment stores have a special gift-wrapping service which transcends mere bow tying. Skilled hands will here transform even a modest wee giftie into a gala gift. You can leave the aesthetics of the job to the wrapper, but, once again, it's more effective to impart a personal touch: Remember her favorite color combinations (from her attire or apartment decor) and request that these be used for that extra subliminal touch.

Then, when your shopping's over, you can relax secure in the knowledge that it is better to gift than to receive--when you know she'll enjoy your presence as well as your presents all year long.