a bountiful bestiary of fauna-guised females
A lecherous reptile named Jacques,Who liked being "first on his block,"Gave a virginal gatorA line, so's to mate her.To which she replied, "That's a crock!"
Here's Cyril, a rakish bird (mocking),The state of whose psyche is shocking.Though publicly CyrilShows aspects quite virile,In private it's garter and stocking.
A thoroughbred stallion named Chief,To his jockey brought no end of grief.When they'd go to the postWith fillies, he'd coast."Ladies first!" was his gallant belief.
A cat with a wife and nine totsHad a penchant for touring low boites.Momma screamed up a storm,And he swore he'd reform.But a leopard just can't change his spots.
There once was a reindeer named MartyWho thought dirty movies were arty.For what others deem cornyRenders male reindeer horny,And so he devised the Stag Party.
A grasshopper track star named LyleHas never completed the mile.And critics find fault inHis form when pole-vaultin',But cheer for his broad-jumping style.
A demure Pekingese known as Lo-WingWears her hair very stylishly flowing.But her glory hirsuteDoth discourage pursuit;Dogs can't tell if she's coming or going.
A basset hound, Bonzo, inquiredOf his mate how their litter was sired:"Ah, my dear, it seems queer,Since each night this past year,You've complained you were just too dog-tired!"
A decadent owl left the nestTo seek sundry vices with zest.His language was blue,And in his Who's Hoo,The Marquis de Sade led the rest.
A lion, it should be quite plain(No need to be Tarzan or Jane),Is distinct from a lioness.To distinguish His Hioness,You must always "Remember the mane!"
A handsome giraffe, Irving Becker,Was known as a happy-home wrecker.He wasn't the strongest,But his was the longest,Which made him the jungle's best necker.
With appropriate verses by Jay Weiss
