How Other Magazines Would Photograph a Playmate

It's no secret that our Playmate of the Month is one of Playboy's most appealing and popular features. The fact that hundreds of girls each year vie for an appearance in one of our dozen issues is an indication of the high regard in which Playmatehood is held. Our Playmates have, in fact, become an American institution to rank with Betsy Ross and the flag--but, unlike Betsy, they've managed to do so without a single stitch. Always willing to share our bounty, we think it would be an excellent idea if other popular periodicals began running their own versions of our foldout feature. To encourage a variety of them to enter the gatefold field, we've projected some thoughts on how famous publications such as Fortune, National Geographic, Life and Consumer Reports might present a Playmate who reflected the magazine's special interests. Granted, Spat Makers' Monthly or the Wrecking-Ball Digest have some problems coming up with an appropriate Miss of the Month; but for most, the addition of a dishabilled damsel should boost circulation--if not that of the magazines, then at least that of their readers.

True Detective At 12, she refused to testify in a case of statutory rape. At 16, she was crossing state lines for immoral purposes. At 20, she's busy battling Nashvill's pimps to became boss bitch of the city's vice ring. Meet Miss Floozie Ripoff, who has what it takes to make the right man happy: curvaceous torso, lithe limbs and the temper of an untamed tigress. Her voluptuous .38-.22-.38 packs the man-stopping wallop of a cupronickel-jacketed 230-grain .45 ACP slug, and her heart's in the right place--next to her liver and just behind that big, beautiful, bountiful, bouncing chest! Nipples like ripe red cherries, the eyes of a sniper, this Queen of Tarts loves 'em, mugs 'em and leaves 'em with an ear-to-ear grin (one that's been put there by a knife). Floozie's pet peeves are "stoolies and copper"; her favorite reading is the National Enquirer; and as a hobby, she collects offbeat sexual violations.

Fortune As business booms into the soaring Seventies, top executives of America's largest corporations have cast their votes and elected another Fortune Dividend of the Month. In an almost unanimous round of balloting, the Fortune executive panel selected as Miss February the aggressive young president of Swing Free Incorporated, Barbara Bottomley (above), whose barish performance in the software industry has for some months raised eyebrows in corporate board rooms and temperatures in corporate bedrooms. It is clear that the participating executives rated self-supporting assets above inflationary hedging as the most important trend in the current quarter. Miss Bottomley, who started with Swing Free just five months ago as an apprentice mail clerk, is esteemed especially for a canny knowledge of when to protect assets and when, as market conditions dictate, to swing freely.

Family Circle "Just a few dollars' worth of fabric, plus a little know-how, put my home in a spring mood and my husband on cloud nine," Mrs. February told us. Operating on a limited furnishings budget of $7.62, she chose an inexpensive but sparkling-fresh fabric (treated with a special soil-resistant finish) to slip-cover the sofa (Easy-to-Make pattern #45,693). Note how she coordinated the room by using the same material (vinyl-coated for practicality) on the walls and floor. "You can't have too much of a good thing," she says. "I want to make throw pillows for the sofa--if I can ever find it." Just chock full of ideas, our imaginative homemaker also rejuvenated her dull; drab vacuum cleaner (ETM pattern #572,081) and stitched up a ruffled apron and pert dusting cap (ETM patterns #1 and #2) to work in. And she did it all with cuticle scissors and Elmer's Glue! Never one to waste valuable time, she also plans to crochet a simple but elegant evening ensemble from ordinary dental floss. For further information on Mrs. February, send 25 cents to our Easy-to-Make editor.

True It goes without saying that any female foolish enough to invade such traditionally masculine preserves as the old camping grounds should be met with a firm but friendly slap on the fanny, sending her scampering back to what she fondly thinks of as civilization. But which of us guys hasn't wished for someone to do the more onerous chores of wilderness living, while we lie back, puff our pipes, sip some bourbon, sniff the piny air and maybe indulge in a little serious poker? Well, sir, this cute little number, Miss Ima Doormat, is the answer to every serious sportsman's prayer; she can pitch a tent, light a fire, clean a fish, dress a deer, keep the campsite neat and warm a sleeping bag. She responds beautifully, in tones of abject humility and heartfelt gratitude, to all orders delivered in a deep, masculine voice. As a gag, our ace outdoor photog Sweat Husky posed Ima amid some of his other valuable trophies, gleaned over many years of trekking the bushveld primeval. Actually, of course, Ima couldn't tell a turkey from a titmouse. Haw!

Life "Outer space is my bag," says Nell "Bust" Collins, the female astronaut who was chosen Life's Newsmaker of the Week after her remarkable accomplishments in America's historic Venus I mission and her signing of a contract with Life for the exclusive rights to any thoughts she might have in the future. The daring Miss Collins--who entered the space program on a bet with the other carhops at the Burgerama in Council Bluffs--is shown as she became the first nude woman in space. Had she let go of the umbilicals she grasps, the only connection she had during her 30-minute dangle outside Venus I, she would not now have an exclusive contract with Life. The main purpose of her mission was to measure reactions from the moon when exposed to an undressed female body. NASA scientists are closely studying the results at Houston computer control--and studying Miss Collins even more closely. Meanwhile, Miss collins' memorable words as she stepped out into space say all there is to say about her mission: "One small step for womankind. One giant step toward an exclusive contract with Life."

Consumer ReportsAcceptable

Suzi Sunbeam, #35-23-34 (Manufacturer: Albert & Myrtle Sunbeam, Columbus, Ohio), 5 ft., 2 ins., 103 Ibs. Popular double-breasted model judged superior in both design and performance by CR's Testing Committee, which reports: "After seven-day functioning test in CR laboratory, this model exceeded specifications by 80 percent and expectations by 100 percent. Heats rapidly, cools slowly, minimal recovery time." Convenient to operate with either left or right hand; stands vertically when not in use. Has features commonly found on the better models, plus the usual built-in accessories, but has been found exceptional in over-all construction and appearance. Due to simplicity of operation, low upkeep, excellent performance characteristics, light weight and compactness, the Suzi Sunbeam is especially suited to bachelor-style living. Since mounting operational problems have forced the manufacturers to discontinue production, replacement parts are unavailable. Not Acceptable: Scorcher Model 6 Steam Iron (Heatco, Inc., New York, New York). Serious shock hazard.

National Geographic For centuries, in the tiny Arabian kingdom of Bhang, natives of that arid land have known only the harsh existence afforded by the desert. In his recent journey through the s till-uncharted reaches of this exotic country, National Geographic's famous explorer-photographer Sir Geoffrey Melville-Bill encountered this shy, veiled maiden carrying out an ancient custom of her people: To prove themselves worthy of the king's harem, the maidens of Bhang must wander the desert for an entire year garbed only in veil and native headdress. At the end of her ordeal, each maiden must demonstrate to her king that she is still intact. Sir Geoffrey was so taken with this young woman that he immediately elected her National Geographic's Topographic Find; she, in turn, showed her gratitude by offering to let Sir Geoffrey explore her uncharted hinterlands. Bhang on, Sir Geoffrey!

Sports Illustrated In Salinas, California, through the hot summer and chill fall of 1956, Jacqueline Strap (our Winner of the Week and formerly second runner-up in the 1967 Miss Lettuce competition) spent seven months in a hospital bed, mostly watching her heroes, Bob Cousy and Bob Mathias, do their thing on TV. She was five then and suffering from what the doctors had called a "chronic weakling condition." Well, last week, Jacque (as she likes to be called) traveled to the U.S.-Russian track meet in Kiev to prove that it's a lot of years later and a long way from Lettuce Valley. She interrupted her N. B. A. rookie year just long enough to win the women's decathlon championship, beating, in the process, four Russian competitors, who were later exposed as men. (See S. I., June 3, 1968, "The Girls Who Run Funny.") "Hell, I don't mind," said the powerful but pretty (6'6",240Ibs.) Jacque, as she hand wrestled with reporters. "I've been competing with men since I was a kid. But they just don't have the staying power."

Photography Photographer Ansel Aperture has achieved a near-perfect realization of the female form in this brilliant study of Miss February, Pop Photo's Overexposure of the Month. To get just the proper balance of color and diffusion, Aperture spurned the usual glass and gelatin filters, choosing, instead, the intricate, sensous shadings obtainable only through overlapping layers of butterfly wings. (See "Working with Wings, Pop Photo, July--Ed.) Untold hours were spent in search of just the right strain of the rare fuchsia-colored monarch butterfly. The main light was a modest bank of 31,000 strobes fired in rapid sequence. The subtle character of the fill-in light was provided by setting fire to the north wall of Aperture's studio. The camera was a Linhof Technica; the lens, a 600mm Hyper-Extender. The film was Ektacolor S, shot at f/.0793; shutter speed, 21 minutes, 9 seconds. When shown the final photo, Miss February snapped, "I never realized I could look like that."

Vogue People are talking about: La Principessa della Genitalia and the subtle simple new nude way she's wearing her breasts this season. Everywhere the Beautiful People throng, the Principessa is seen with this thrilling new shape--round round globes high on the torso--just a whisper of gleam-and-glow rouge for daytime, Kenneth J. Lang nipple rings and a heady heavy perfume for an evening at the opera or dallying over a quiet dinner with 60 close friends. Exciting, adventurous, totally "now," her breasts rise to any occasion: understated with a smidgen of shading for the literary salon--flamboyant, volcanic, glowing for those special events. To the same basic design, she occasionally adds long long legs for the country-girl look. La Principessa recently caused a furor in haute couture circles with her dramatic switch of emphasis to the buttocks at Truman Capote's merveilleux Bal des Mets in Shea Stadium. Who better to be Vogue's Mannequin of the Month?