Playboy's Girl-Watching Quiz

Almost any girl watcher can tell you what he likes. But he can't always tell you why. Sometimes a preference for large breasts, lissome legs or ample behinds is a matter of aesthetic choice. More likely, however, it's a result of conditioning. According to some recent studies, these preferences are not merely in the eye of the beholder but correlate closely with the girl watcher's psychological make-up. To psychologists conducting research into personality, this is an important finding. It sheds new light on the mating habits of human beings--a subject about which surprisingly little is known. It may someday add a new dimension to personality testing and provide psychologists with another tool for assessing the emotional characteristics of individuals and evaluating their relationships with others. As testing techniques are refined, the layman can profit directly on a do-it-yourself level: What turns a man on physically will tell him something about himself psychologically. And vice versa. This same information will tell a woman the kind of man she is most likely to attract.

An even more fascinating aspect of this research concerns the frequent subordination of physical appeal to a vague concept of romantic attraction often confused with "love." This sometimes dangerous distinction between the body and the mind is a hangover from the dualistic, religiously inspired notion that physical and spiritual attraction are mutually exclusive. Obviously they are not, and most lasting male-female relationships depend on both. Thus, the man who gallantly persuades himself that he would be happy with a woman even though she lacks the physical qualities to which he has been conditioned to respond may one day find himself torn between a deep emotional commitment and sexual disinterest or dissatisfaction. Such a conflict can lead to serious interpersonal problems in the long run.

Somatic research is not new. Years ago, psychologist William Sheldon classified fat, athletic and skinny people as endomorphic, mesomorphic and ectomorphic, and tried to relate these physical types to personality traits. Since then, other researchers have refined and elaborated on the Sheldon system, but still with a view to studying the individual in relation to his own body. The somatic research pertaining to sex appeal, however, attempts to correlate an individual's personality not with his own body type but with his somatic preference for different parts of the female figure. In other words, it's not whether a man himself is skinny, fat or robust as a football player, but whether he concentrates on a woman's legs, breasts or buttocks. It's the woman's size in these three areas and her over-all proportions that count.

Somatic preference is a subject that psychologists have only begun to explore. Although pioneer work has been done by personality psychologists, no surveys have been carried out on a large enough scale to permit definitive classification of all American males. Thus the test presented here is more hypothetical than conclusive. Its purpose is to permit the reader to correlate his personality traits, as projected in the following quiz, with his figure preferences. The analysis at the end of the test compares the reader's correlations with those of research subjects who have already been sampled.

The 37 questions that follow will help you measure your key personality qualities. Check the answer in each one that seems most descriptive of you. If none of the three choices provides a response that you feel really comfortable with, then check the one that seems closest. After you've completed the questions, turn to page 218 and tote up your score as instructed. You'll then find additional instructions about the body-preference part of this quiz, followed by a do-it-yourself analysis.

1. You enjoy yourself most at a party where you can:

j. Meet some new females.

k. Engage in lively arguments.

b. Know in advance who else is coming and what activities are planned.

2. You have similar job offers from three companies. You select the one in which:

d. The hours are flexible.

h. The work contributes most to the public good.

e. The people seem most friendly.

3. In pursuing a career, you can best advance yourself by:

a. Cultivating your special skills and talents.

i. Working harder than the average person is willing or able to.

b. Careful planning and efficient work habits.

4. In social conversation, you are most likely to talk about:

c. An interesting experience.

j. Women.

a. Some topic in which you are especially knowledgeable.

5. You would rather read:

e. A letter from a friend.

f. A book on psychology.

h. An essay on social problems.

6. You prefer to work:

i. As long as necessary to get a job done.

b. Nine to five in a well-organized office with an efficient staff.

e. In the company of convivial, easy-going people.

7. You feel most capable of helping people when:

a. Their problems fall within your area of expertise.

h. They will benefit from understanding and encouragement.

1. They are complete strangers.

8. At a party, you might strike up a conversation with a particular young lady because she:

j. Looks good and seems willing.

h. Seems shy and would probably enjoy the attention.

c. Seems interested in what you are and what you do.

9. In most job situations, you would like your colleagues to:

b. Be systematic and reliable.

d. Respect your independence and unconventional methods.

e. Be friendly and cooperative.

10. At a reception attended by a number of prominent people, you:

g. Try to enjoy yourself without being too conspicuous.

c. Seek out those who will listen as well as talk.

k. Challenge the views of some highly opinionated person.

11. If you ever ran for public office, your most valuable political quality would be:

a. Specialized knowledge and abilities.

c. A capacity for leadership and voter appeal.

i. Perseverance and dedication to duty.

12. You either are or would like to be especially skilled as:

j. A lover.

c. An actor.

k. A debater.

13. You would most like friends to think of you as:

e. Loyal and reliable.

f. Perceptive and analytical.

h. Kind and generous.

14. When you encounter an argumentative person, you find it easy to:

g. Tactfully avoid a confrontation.

f. Seek the reasons for his belligerence.

k. Argue back.

15. If you were stopped and berated for a minor and rather technical traffic violation, you would probably:

g. Concede your mistake and hope for the best.

d. Resent the officer's authoritarian manner.

f. Try to judge the policeman's mood and mentality and respond accordingly.

16. You meet a fellow employee who has been blaming you for a mistake he made. You would:

k. Express your anger in a straightforward manner and tell him to admit his own responsibility.

f. Put yourself in his place and try to reason with him.

e. Approach him tactfully in a way that would not jeopardize an otherwise good relationship.

17. You have inadvertently hurt your girlfriend's feelings. The best way to smooth things over is to:

g. Admit your mistake and apologize.

c. Turn on the charm.

j. Resolve the situation in bed.

18. You discover that a serious error has been made in some work that you supervised. You first:

g. Report the mistake and take full responsibility.

k. Call in and lecture the person who made the error.

f. Figure out how the mistake managed to slip past you.

19. You meet an attractive girl and want to impress her favorably. You try to project yourself as:

a. An accomplished and successful person.

j. Socially active and sexually talented.

d. Unconventional, independent and straightforward.

20. If you could choose any career, you would most like to be:

b. A corporate planner or efficiency expert.

h. A physician or social worker.

d. A novelist or business owner.

21. If you were at a party where one of the guests was becoming particularly drunk and belligerent, you would probably:

g. Rely on the host to handle the problem his own way.

k. Tell the drunk, one way or another, to cool it.

c. Inject some humor into the situation with a distracting story.

22. You usually eat dinner:

b. At the same time every day.

i. When you've finished what you've been working on.

e. When you're able to join others.

23. If you ever were to write a book, you would prefer it to be:

a. Scholarly.

c. Autobiographical.

h. Inspirational.

24. You're going to build a stereo amplifier. You'll get the most pleasure from:

a. Seeing the finished job.

b. Planning the project.

i. Doing the work itself.

25. You have a friend who has lost his job and is feeling low. Your reaction probably would be to:

e. Get a bunch of friends together at your place to try to cheer him up.

h. Sit down in private with him and lend a sympathetic ear.

i. Encourage him to quickly learn a new profession so that he can find another job.

26. You would rather be:

a. A professional success.

h. A good Samaritan.

k. A skilled soldier.

27. You are told by your employer that your work does not conform to his expectations. Your first impulse is to:

d. Question his narrow judgment.

g. Ask for his suggestions.

i. Get back to work on the project.

28. You would be most impressed by a girl who, upon first meeting you:

e. Seemed friendly and sincere.

j. Looked sexy.

c. Complimented you.

29. In discussing poverty in America, you might argue the need for:

b. More careful and intelligent allocation of funds.

i. More determination on the part of public officials.

h. A more generous public attitude toward the underprivileged.

30. During a discussion at a party, someone calls you a horse's ass. Your reaction is to:

k. Call him a double horse's ass and wait for his next step.

g. Try to cool the situation, on the assumption that you may have done something to provoke his ire.

f. Find out why he felt it necessary to insult you.

31. "If at first you don't succeed":

i. Try, try again.

g. Feel depressed and give up.

f. Analyze the problem.

32. You would be most likely to meet your next girlfriend at:

j. A singles bar.

d. A pot party.

k. A sporting event.

33. If you have one quality that makes you most attractive to women, it is that you are:

a. A man with a good deal of talent and career potential.

c. A handsome and outgoing guy.

j. Affectionate and sexually uninhibited.

34. In most games or sports, you try to:

b. Plan your moves far in advance.

i. Play patiently and steadily, waiting for your opponent to make mistakes.

f. Outpsych your opponent.

35. In selecting your wardrobe, you tend toward:

b. Simple, unpretentious and practical clothing.

d. Whatever strikes your fancy.

e. Clothes that please your girlfriend.

36. You would rather spend a Sunday afternoon:

a. Working on some project that excites you.

d. Driving someplace you've never been before.

j. Watching a good erotic movie.

37. Your attitude toward social or political eccentrics is:

d. Live and let live.

f. Curiosity.

g. Apprehension.

(continued on page 218)

Scoring: After you've completed all 37 questions in the previous section, count up how many of each letter you checked and write the totals in the boxes below.

Now you're ready for the second part of the quiz. Go back to pages 213--215 and examine all eight of the drawings. In the boxes below, write the numbers of the figures that have, in terms of size, the most appealing breasts, buttocks and legs. (Concentrate on the individual body parts and try to disregard the figure as a whole.)

Now select the single entire figure that you find most appealing; but do this from among figures 4 through 8, which represent five distinct categories of body build. Write your choice in the box below.

Having completed the personality test and indicated a preference for female body parts and for an entire figure, you're now ready to evaluate the results.

The letters you've tallied above refer to particular aspects of your personality. Your score in each category--high in some, low in others--indicates what relative weight that quality has for you. Our descriptions are oversimplified for the sake of brevity, but essentially these traits are:

A--Achievement, success.

B--Orderliness, predictability.

C--Drawing attention to oneself.

D--Independence, nonconformity.

E--Loyalty, friendliness.

F--Analysis, introspection.

G--Timidity, inferiority.

H--Sympathy, generosity, altruism.

I--Endurance, perseverance.

J--Sexuality.

K--Aggressiveness, anger.

L--Nothing. This dummy letter was included for arithmetical purposes related to the scoring.

Now you're ready to correlate these personality traits with your girl-watching preferences, beginning with:

Breasts: Whether you're a fanatical breast man or never look above the waist, you probably have a preference for a particular size of breast. This choice is meaningful in terms of your personality. In the following sections, you can see how your body preferences and personality correlations compare with a statistically analyzed sample of other men who have taken this test.

Figures 1, 4, 6 and 8 illustrate larger-than-average breasts. Men who prefer this type of breast generally have high C, D and J scores together with low H and I scores. Such men tend to be independent, exhibitionistic, self-centered, good-natured and highly sexed. They like their sex so much, in fact, that it doesn't always matter whether it's real or vicarious. When they're not courting ladies or engaging in some type of sexual activity, they enjoy talking about it, reading about it or joking about it. They are basically anti-authoritarian, unconventional and a little irresponsible.

On the other hand, men who prefer average to small breasts (figures 2, 3, 5 and 7) usually have high H and low A scores. They tend to be underachievers, or at least they do not place great importance on success, and are generally noncompetitive. They seem more susceptible to depression than the average male, and rate high in what psychologists call "nurturance": a sense of sympathy and understanding, a willingness to help friends and act charitably toward persons less fortunate than themselves. They tend to be generous, affectionate and forgiving.

Buttocks: Even in the absence of any scientific data, it seems clear that the ass man is more of a doer than a dreamer; he probably subscribes to the principle that form should follow function. However, there seems to be considerable male personality variation according to the size or prominence of a woman's behind that a man finds most appealing.

Large buttocks (figures 2 and 3) correlate with high B and G scores and low D and F scores. The big-butt man tends to be more orderly and dependent and less secure emotionally than the average male. He probably contemplates any task beforehand, formulates some kind of work plan, gets himself organized and then proceeds methodically to its completion (knocking off for meals at regularly appointed hours). When something goes wrong, he tends to blame himself rather than others, and he would rather anticipate and avoid a problem than confront it head on. In an argument, he's often a pushover, for the simple reason that he's unaggressive and somewhat uncertain of himself. In his personal relations with others, he takes people at face value without analyzing their actions or motives. He likes predictability and tends to form dependent relationships. One might speculate that he likes a Rubensian woman because she represents something solid that he can really get a grip on.

Men who like average to small buttocks (figures 1, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8) usually have a high I score and low C and G scores. These men exhibit personality traits that not only distinguish them from big-ass men but make them quite different from males who like big breasts. The small-butt man usually lacks those exhibitionistic qualities that would make him a source of amusement to others or the life of the party. At the same time, he is relatively self-confident, willing to stand up for himself in an argument and able to conduct himself naturally in the presence of superiors. He has enough determination and endurance to see him through problems that would discourage many others, and he can usually be relied upon to finish what he starts. He can work by himself without close supervision and his morale is high enough so that he needs little outside encouragement or personal flattery.

Legs: Like breast men or butt men, the man who is most turned on by legs doesn't totally ignore other female features; he merely imposes a more discriminating range of acceptability on the size and shape of the lower limbs.

Large legs, as represented in figures 2, 6 and 7, correlate with high F and G scores and a low K score. One thing this indicates is some degree of insecurity--nothing spectacular, just a tendency to be shy, to see one's own faults most clearly, to choose flight rather than fight. Also indicated is a willingness to accept blame rather than project it to others, and to admit an error rather than conceal it. Unlike the big-butt man, who shares the above tendencies, the typical big-leg man is especially perceptive, observant and analytical, which may partly explain why he is also unaggressive: he would evaluate a situation before reacting to it, put himself in another person's place and respond vigorously only when he felt particularly self-assured.

Small to average legs (figures 1, 3, 4, 5 and 8), which correlate with high C, E and H scores and a low D score, appeal to men who exhibit tendencies toward both extroversion and generosity. Indeed, the small-leg man combines the best qualities of the big-breast man and the small-breast man: a genial, outgoing, uninhibited personality plus a healthy capacity to love, sympathize with and help other people. At the same time, he is rather conventional in his behavior and attitudes--a person who feels little need to either assert his independence or to defy authority. He shares willingly and forms close attachments, even dependent relationships, and generally prefers to be with friends rather than alone. In short, he's a generous, loving, kindhearted show-off with a sense of responsibility.

• • •

Since few of us judge a woman's figure on the basis of only one feature, the psychologists who have worked in this area have also correlated personality traits with over-all figure preference. You've already examined figures 4 through 8 and selected the one that appealed most to you. If you're average, you should discover that the size of breasts, buttocks and legs, considered independently, is reflected in your over-all figure preference and that the personality traits suggested by over-all figure preference corroborate, or at least do not contradict, those already indicated.

Figure 4. The man who likes full breasts, moderate buttocks and moderate to "leggy" legs tends to be gregarious and extroverted, even a show-off, with a lively sense of humor and considerable self-confidence. He probably smokes (both tobacco and pot), drinks and has strong masculine interests, especially with regard to women. He is not afflicted with guilt feelings, lacks orderly work habits and has the attention span of a canary. His Dionysian qualities make him something of a swinger, and he tends to be nonconforming, independent, irresponsible, anti-authoritarian and spontaneous. He's a fun-loving fellow who makes a good friend, but you might not want your sister to marry him.

Figure 5. This group, preferring the moderate to small woman with moderate breasts, small buttocks and moderate legs, is remarkably free of minor vices and tends to avoid excesses of any kind, while exhibiting a high degree of altruism and generosity. As a rule, these men are neither drug users nor carousers and seem to shy away from careers that require much personal ambition or competitive skills.

Figure 6. Big breasts, moderate buttocks, sturdy legs: a zaftig girl who, judging from the men she attracts, represents security and plenty--something a man can fall back on. Many of the characteristics associated with this figure selection are, alas, maladaptive traits: a tendency to feel inferior, to lack both perseverance and the orderly work habits that are usually requisite to the traditional forms of success. This lady should hope that her boyfriend is either extremely creative or comes from a wealthy family.

Figure 7. This somewhat ungainly combination--moderate breasts, small buttocks and heavy-set legs--doesn't correlate with much of anything in the way of personality traits. The only discernible characteristic is what psychologists call a low affiliation quotient, which suggests that the man is something of a loner with no strong inclinations to either socialize or participate in group endeavors.

Figure 8. This appears to be the feminine form that has die greatest appeal to the greatest number of men, who seem to prefer women with ample breasts, moderate to small buttocks and moderate legs. Those who selected this figure were found to be, on the whole, well adjusted, well organized, generous and helpful individuals who cultivate good habits and get along well with people. They are close to their friends, make new friends easily, share their good fortune willingly and prefer companionship to isolation.

To re-examine your figure preferences and interpret them in a slightly different way, take another look at only three of the drawings--figures 5, 6 and 8--and pick the one you find most attractive.

If you picked figure 6, which is relatively large, you should have a fairly high A score, indicating that you place a good deal of importance on career, capability, personal skills and success. You probably take pride in your specialized knowledge and abilities and rather enjoy any job that seems especially meaningful or challenging.

If you picked figure 8, it means you'd rather spend your time chasing a girl than putting in a good day's work. This moderate-to-ample figure correlates with high J and low B scores, indicating strong heterosexual interests, plus a cavalier attitude toward work habits and orderliness. The only prior planning you do involves seduction.

If you picked figure 5, a small girl, you're probably methodical and tenacious in your work habits (high I score), the sort of person who tackles one job at a time and patiently keeps at it until he's finished. In addition, you most likely get along well with your superiors, have no quarrel with authority figures and support your local police.

• • •

This quiz afforded an opportunity to measure some of your personality traits and then compare them with those exhibited by research subjects with the same somatic preferences. If you found no similarities at all between yourself and the research subjects with the same tastes, it means you either don't know yourself as well as you think (there's always a discrepancy between measured personality traits and self-image) or you're not responding predictably to the eight drawings. On the other hand, if any of the personality descriptions fit you perfectly, then you probably cheated. Quizzes simply aren't that accurate a means of measuring all the variables and subtleties of an individual's emotional make-up. The correlations between figure preferences and personality traits need not be perfect to be meaningful; in most cases, they only indicate tendencies in one direction or another. (For instance, an indication that you are disorganized and disorderly does not necessarily mean that you forget to shave or that you litter your apartment with dirty clothes; it's simply that orderliness isn't high on your list of priorities.)

Obviously, this quiz tells you very little about your over-all preference in women. It intentionally ignores such complex factors as facial type, personality, intelligence, manner, clothes, education, attitudes and so forth. It attempts only to help you categorize yourself in general terms according to your automatic responses to various body shapes. As a final word, we suggest that you forgo the temptation to antagonize your acquaintances by using this insight to analyze them according to the shapes of their girlfriends and wives. If you decide to do so anyway, keep your findings to yourself.