Terminal Misunderstanding

The man on the other end of the wire was somewhat intoxicated. I kept telling him I was calling from Chicago and that I wanted to speak to my wife, Abby Eisler. I spelled her name three times for him.

"You should see the crowd here," he said. "This's a real nice crowd here."

"Yes, I can hear it," I said. "Would you please--"

"This's a real nice party," he said. "Who's this calling?"

"Sam Eisler," I said. "I want to talk to my wife, Abby."

"Sam, why'n't you come on up here?" he said. "This's a real nice party."

"I'm supposed to come up there," I said, "that's just it. I'm in Chicago. My plane put down--" I hesitated, looking at the telephone receiver as if it had somehow beguiled me into detailing my predicament to a drunk. "Look," I said, "would you please yell out my wife's name and tell her she's wanted on the telephone?"

"Sure," he said. "What's your wife's name?"

"Abby Eisler."

"Who's this calling?"

"Sam Eisler. Her husband."

"Sure, Sam, wait just one minute."

I waited. I heard the small plastic rattle of the receiver as he put it down, and then I heard him bellowing, "Annie Iceman! Telephone! Annie Iceman wanted on the telephone," his voice receding as he went farther and farther away from the instrument, until finally it was drowned out by all the party noises. Wonderful, I thought. He's wandered away and left the phone off the hook. Now I'll never get through to her. I kept waiting.

"Hello?" a voice said at last. It was Abby.

"Is this Annie Iceman?" I said.

"Sam!" she said immediately. "Are you back?"

"Not quite."

"What do you mean not quite? How can you be not quite back?"

"I can be in Chicago," I said. "At O'Hare. The whole Eastern Seaboard's socked in. They put us down here in Chicago."

"How can they do that? You bought a ticket for New York, didn't you?"

"Yes, of course I-- Abby, are you drunk, too? Is everybody at that goddamn party drunk already?"

"Of course I'm certainly not drunk," Abby said. "How long is it from Chicago?"

"How long is what, Abby?"

"The train ride, naturally."

"I don't know. Overnight, I would guess. Anyway, I'm not about to take a train."

"Randy, would you please fill this for me, please?" Abby said.

"Who's Randy?"

"He's the head of creation someplace."

"Only God is the head of creation," I said.

"Well, somebody said Randy is, too. I was just now sitting out on the fire escape with him when you called."

"Since when do you go sitting on fire escapes with strange men?"

"He's not strange, he's very nice."

"Nice or otherwise, since when--"

"Since about nine-thirty, I guess. What time is it now?"

"In New York or in Chicago?"

"Anyplace," Abby said. "Oh, thank you. Randy."

"How many of those have you had?" I said.

"Which?"

"Whatever you're drinking there."

"Oh, two or three, I guess. Listen, why'd you ask for Annie Iceman? That's not very funny."

"I didn't ask for Annie Iceman. The guy who answered the phone was loaded."

"It's just not very funny," Abby said. "Sam, when do you think you'll get here?"

"I don't know. I'm going to check in at the information desk as soon as I hang up, see if there's a chance of the fog lifting tonight. If not, I guess I'll have to sleep over."

"What should I do?"

"I would suggest that you come in off the fire escape. A thirty-nine-year-old lady shouldn't be sitting on the fire escape in a fog."

"Sam, you don't have to keep reminding me I'm thirty-nine. I don't keep reminding you you're forty-one."

"Well, I'm not out on the fire escape."

"Neither am I," Abby said. "What should I tell John and Louise?"

"Tell them I'm stuck in Chicago and may have to skip their party."

"Well, OK," Abby said and sighed.

"Abby?"

"Mmm?"

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too," she said.

"Goddamn airline," I said.

"Mmm," she said. "Sam?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I still don't think asking for Annie Iceman was very funny," she said and hung up.

The operator, who had not signaled to tell me when I was talking overtime (as I'd asked her to do), now told me that I owed the telephone company $1.45. I walked over to the cigar stand, changed a five-dollar bill and then went back to the telephone to deposit the overtime money. I picked up my two-suiter at the baggage-claim counter and walked through the terminal to the information desk. The airline's ground hostess informed me that the forecast for Kennedy was still fog until morning but that all Los Angeles--New York passengers were being provided with either rail transportation to New York or, if they preferred, overnight hotel accommodations in Chicago.

"Why didn't the airline tell us that New York was fogged in?" I said.

"Didn't the pilot make an announcement, sir?"

"Why didn't they tell us in Los Angeles? Before we took off."

"I'm sorry, sir," she said. "I don't have that information."

"I mean, I don't know how long it takes to transmit a weather report across the nation, but New York is three hours ahead of Los Angeles, and it seems to me that unless this fog just suddenly mate-rialized out of thin air and pounced down on Kennedy, it seems to me somebody in your wide-awake little outfit should have informed the passengers while we were still on the ground in Los Angeles. So that we could have decided for ourselves whether we wanted to spend the night there or here in Chicago. I don't know about you, miss, but Chicago has never been one of my favorite sleeping cities."

"Well, sir," she said, "I don't control the weather in New York."

"Where do you control the weather?" I asked.

"Sir?" she said.

"There's a man in New York your airline ought to hire. His name is Randy, he's the head of creation."

"Sir?"

"How do you expect to get that million-dollar bonus if you treat your passengers this way?"

"You're thinking of another airline," she said, turning away curtly to assist a sailor who looked as though he had never been outside Iowa in his life and was now totally bewildered by jet terminals and smiling hostesses and glowering New York attorneys like me, Samuel Eisler. I kept glaring at the girl's back until I was sure my indignation had burned clear through to her spine; then I stalked off angrily in the direction of the airport bar.

Jennifer Logan was making a phone call in an open booth not 100 yards from the information desk. She was wearing a very short green mini, a dark green cashmere cardigan and sandals. Her long blonde hair spilled over the receiver as she spoke and she brushed it away from her face impatiently as she said into the phone, "Well, you know, Marcie. what would you like me to do? Highjack a damn airplane? I'm telling you I can't get on. Yes, sure, I'm wait-listed, but that can mean tonight or tomorrow or maybe Saint Swithin's Day." Jennifer paused, made a face, looked directly at me, smiled, waggled the fingers on her free hand, whispered, "Hi, Mr. Eisler." She said into the phone, "Saint Swithin's. Oh, never mind, Marcie." She paused again and then said, "When I get there, I'll get there. Meanwhile, I see somebody I know. Give my love to Paul." She hung up, felt in the return chute for any unexpected bonanza, rose, left her two suitcases and what appeared to be a hatbox outside the booth, reslung her shoulder bag and walked toward me with her hand extended.

"Hi. Mr. Eisler," she said again.

"Hello, Jennifer," I said. "How are you?"

"Exhausted," she said and rolled her eyes. "I can't get on a damn plane to San Francisco. I mean, I probably could get on a plane if I wanted to pay the regular fare, but I'm holding out for the student rate and there're like, seven million kids trying to get back at the same time. It's murder."

"Are you going to school in San Francisco now?" I asked.

"Mmm, Berkeley," she said. "What are you doing in Chicago, Mr. Eisler?"

"I'm in transit. New York's fogged in."

"Oh," Jennifer said. "Hey, I'll bet that's what's causing the pile-up here, don't you think?"

"Maybe."

"I've never seen so many kids in my entire life," she said. "So you're stuck here, huh?"

"Looks that way."

"What're you going to do?"

"Right now, I'm going to get a drink."

"Good idea," she said. "Let me get my bags."

I watched her in surprise as she walked toward her luggage. I would not have asked Jennifer Logan to join me for a drink four years ago and I honestly had not intended my flat statement of purpose as an invitation now. But she picked up one suitcase, next the hatbox, and then looked up plaintively and said, "Mr. Eisler, could you give me a hand with this?" I found myself walking to her swiftly and picking up the other suitcase. I carried that and my own two-suiter through the terminal while she walked swiftly beside me, chattering about her habit of always carrying too much crap with her, like the wig; now, really, she didn't need to take the wig home for spring vacation, did she? None of the other kids--

"Is that a wig?" I asked.

"Yes, a short one. It's all curls, like."

"I thought it was a hat."

"No, it's a wig."

--Traveled with as much luggage as she did. She always came into an airport looking like a Russian peasant lady or something: it was really quite disgraceful.

"You don't look at all like a Russian peasant lady," I said.

"What do I look like?" she asked, then smiled quickly and ducked her head, long blonde strands falling over her cheek, hand holding the wig box brushing them back again, and added, "Never mind, don't tell me."

I was a little out of breath. She was walking with swift long-legged strides, her sandals slapping along beside me, spewing her rapid monolog, telling me she shouldn't have come all the way east to begin with, and wouldn't have come if her parents hadn't offered a sort of bribe--

"How are your parents?" I asked.

"Oh, fine," she said.

--Agreeing to take her down to Nassau with them for the spring break, though you'd never guess she'd been south; the sun hadn't come out the whole week she'd been there. She'd expected to go back to San Francisco with at least some kind of a tan and, instead, she looked like a sickly white thing that had crawled out from under a rock.

"You look very healthy, Jennifer," I said.

"Depends where you're looking." she answered and flashed her quick grin again; and before I had time to think about what she'd just said, she stopped before what was undoubtedly the airport bar and said, "Is this it?"

"I guess so."

"Let me get the door," she said and reached out with the hand still clutching the wig box. After a lot of awkward shuffling and maneuvering, we finally managed to squeeze the three suitcases, the wig box and ourselves through the door and over to the checkroom, where I deposited the luggage with an enormous sense of relief.

"Made it!" Jennifer said triumphantly.

"I wasn't sure we would."

"Neither was I."

"What do you mean?"

"The way you were puffing back there. I see a table, come on."

The bar was fairly crowded and resounding with the same kind of noise I had heard over the telephone wires from New York. Jennifer led me to an unoccupied table against the rear wall and we slid in behind it on the leatherette banquette. I immediately signaled to the waiter.

"Seat's warm," Jennifer said. "Must have been a very fat lady sitting here."

The waiter, a crewcut, clean-shaven kid who looked to be 22 or 23, ambled over, stared admiringly at Jennifer, glanced balefully at me, then said, "Yes, sir, can I help you?"

"Jennifer?"

"I'd like a Scotch on the rocks, please," she said.

"A Scotch for the lady," I said, "and I'll have--"

"Excuse me, miss," the waiter said, "but would you happen to have some identification with you?"

"Flatterer," Jennifer said and immediately unslung her shoulder bag, opened it and produced her I. D. card. The waiter studied it as though I were a white slaver transporting nubile blondes across state lines. As his scrutiny persisted, I felt first embarrassment and then anger.

"The young lady's over twenty-one." I snapped. "If you're finished with her card, we'd like some drinks here."

"Sorry, sir," the waiter said, "but I don't make the laws in this state."

"Do you control the weather here?"

"Huh?"

"Just give the young lady her card and bring us a Scotch on the rocks and a vodka martini, straight up."

"We could lose our license, you know," the waiter said.

"We could lose our patience," I said and gave him the same penetrating, disintegrating look I had wasted on the hostess' back.

The waiter dropped Jennifer's card on the tabletop, mumbled, "Scotch on the rocks, vodka martini, straight up," and (continued on page 106)Terminal Misunderstanding(continued from page 88) then walked off with a cowpuncher's lope.

"My, my," Jennifer said, picking up her card and putting it back in her bag, "you do take control of a situation, don't you?"

"I get vicious when I'm thirsty."

"What it probably was," Jennifer said, "is that he probably figures you're too old for me."

"Well, yes," I said, "but still, you know, you did, you know, show him the identification he asked for, you know, and he had no right--"

"Don't get nervous," Jennifer said. "I'm not coming on or anything."

"I'm not nervous," I said.

"You seem nervous."

"I'm not."

"OK. Do you always drink martinis?"

"Not always."

"I mean, this late at night. I thought people only drank martinis before dinner."

"I haven't had dinner yet," I said.

"Didn't you eat on the plane?"

"Yes, but that would hardly qualify as dinner."

"I never eat on airplanes, either," she said. "I get like a ravenous beast, but I'll be damned if I'll eat any of that plastic crap they serve. I'm starved right now; to tell the truth, I haven't eaten since early this morning. What I did, you see, was grab a plane to Chicago from New York because I couldn't get a San Francisco flight and I figured Chicago's better than nothing, don't you think? Closer to where I'm headed, anyway."

"Wasn't it foggy?"

"Where?"

"In New York."

"No. Not when I left."

"Scotch on the rocks," the waiter said. "Vodka martini, straight up." He put down the drinks, hesitated. "Sir," he said, "I'm sorry about what happened."

"That's OK," I said.

"But I do have to check, sir, it's the law."

"Fine," I said.

"And the lady did look to be underage."

"Uh-huh, fine," I said.

"I hope you understand, sir."

"I do, yes."

"Is there anything else you'd like, sir, before I see to my other tables?"

"Yes, bring us another round when you get a chance, will you?"

"I'll take care of that right away, sir, before I see to my other tables."

"Fine, thank you."

"And I'm sorry about the misunderstanding, sir."

"That's OK."

"And sorry to have caused you any embarrassment, miss."

"I'm not embarrassed," Jennifer said.

"OK, then," the waiter said and grinned in relief. "Everything's OK, then, good," he said and went off to get the other drinks.

Jennifer lifted her glass. Without a word, she clicked it against mine before she sipped at the Scotch. "Mmm, delicious," she said. She smiled suddenly. "I'm glad we ran into each other, you know, Mr. Eisler? We have a lot of talking to do."

"Oh? What about?"

"The abortion."

I lifted my glass again and took a deep swallow. "Jennifer," I said, "I really don't think we need to talk about your abortion."

"It was your abortion, too."

"No. it was my son's abortion. Yours and Adam's. Not mine."

"You paid for it," Jennifer said.

"I know I did. But that was four years ago, Jennifer. And it all worked out fine for everyone concerned. So, if it's OK with you, I'd really rather not--"

"Oh, sure," she said and smiled. "What would you like to talk about, Mr. Eisler?"

"Anything," I said, "anything at all. How do you like Berkeley?"

"I like it a lot. I mean, I'm not into any of that protest stuff anymore, I'm a little too old for that--"

"Old?" I said and laughed.

"Well, I mean, you can go around getting your face smashed by the establishment just so many times, you know what I mean? When you get to be my age, it's easier to go back to the apartment, kick off your shoes and bust a joint."

"Mmm-huh," I said.

"Marijuana," she said.

"Yes, I know."

"I thought maybe--"

"No, I understood you."

"But you disapprove, huh?"

"What gives you that idea?"

Jennifer shrugged and brushed hair out of her eyes. "I don't know. Your voice sounded kind of funny."

"I'm aware that all the kids today smoke marijuana."

"Can't bring yourself to call it pot, huh?"

"I'm afraid that wouldn't be very honest on my part."

"Oh, are you honest, Mr. Eisler?"

"I think I am."

"Was the abortion honest?" Jennifer asked, and the waiter came with our second round.

"Here we go, sir," he said. "Scotch on the rocks, vodka martini, straight up. I'm going to leave you now for just a few minutes to get some of those hot hors d'oeuvres from the serving tray. Would you like some hot hors d'oeuvres, miss?"

"Yes, that would be very nice, thank you."

"I'll be back in just a little bit," the waiter said and smiled and hurried off.

I decided I had better lead the conversation where I wanted it to go, rather than entrusting it to Jennifer's direction. I was no more interested in discussing her abortion than I was in discussing my own appendectomy--less so, in fact. And yet, as I asked her about the courses she was taking and listened to the answers she gave, another conversation threaded itself through my mind and through the discussion we were presently engaged in, my son Adam coming to us in the living room just as John and Louise Garrod were saying good night, my son's blue eyes searching my face, scrub beard growing in patchily, long hair trailing like a Sienese page's--"Dad, I'd like to talk to you a minute, please."

And Abby jokingly saying to him, "Adam, if you're going to tell us that Jennifer's pregnant, please let it wait till morning, this has been a busy day," and John and Louise laughing.

And Adam smiling with his mouth but not his eyes and then asking me again, gently but insistently, if I would please come to his room, because there was something important he wanted to discuss with me.

In his room (and all of this rushed through my mind as Jennifer, close to me now, sipped at her Scotch and started telling me about a really great professor at the school), Adam sat on the edge of his bed and said, flat-out, "Dad, Jennifer's two weeks late and we think she's pregnant." And I remember thinking how wonderful it was that my son could talk so honestly to his father--what was all this crap about a generation gap? And I remember telling him there was no need to worry yet; why, when I was his age, I had sweated out a dozen similar scares, and he told me, "Dad, Jennifer's never been late before." And I remember assuring him that perhaps her own anxiety was causing the delay, thinking all the while how proud I was of this marvelous open discussion I was having with my son and convinced in my own mind, of course, that Jennifer was not pregnant, Jennifer could not be pregnant.

But Jennifer was.

"--Near the school," she said now. "Are you familiar with San Francisco?"

"Not really."

"Then the address wouldn't mean anything to you."

"No, it wouldn't. Do you live alone?"

"I've got two roommates."

"Berkeley girls?"

"Marcie's at Berkeley, yes. Paul's in the construction business."

"Oh," I said.

"Disapprove of that, too, huh?"

"Why should I?"

"You shouldn't, actually. Marcie and Paul have been making it together for almost a year and a half now. There's nothing wrong with them living together."

"I didn't say there was."

"I mean, I do have my own room and everything, you know. We're not, like, having a mass orgy up there, if that's what you're thinking."

"I'm not thinking anything of the sort," I said and picked up my drink. Jennifer was studying me and I was uncomfortably aware of her gaze.

"It's just what you're thinking," she said. "Well, you happen to be wrong. Paul's like a brother to me. I mean, we all walk around the apartment in our underwear, for God's sake. It's not what you think." She paused, searching for a clincher. "Paul even urinates with the bathroom door open," she said.

"I see," I said.

"It isn't what you think at all."

"Apparently not."

Jennifer suddenly began laughing.

"What?" I said.

"I just thought of something very funny."

"What is it?"

"Well, Marcie got a call from home just before the spring break, you know? From her mother, you know? Who wanted to know what her plans were and all that. I took the call, you see, and I knew that Marcie and Paul were in the bedroom, you know, doing it, you know. So I carried the phone in--we've got this real long extension cord--and there's Paul on top of her, and I handed the phone to Marcie and I said, 'It's for you, dear. It's your mother.'" Jennifer burst out laughing again. "What a great girl! Do you know what she did? She took the phone, Paul still on top of her and not missing a beat, and she went into this long conversation with her mother about plane connections and reservations and some new clothes she'd bought--oh, God, it was hilarious!."

"Yes, it does sound very comical."

"You disapprove, right?"

"I'm not your father," I said. "I wish you'd stop asking me whether I approve or disapprove."

"I sometimes used to think of you as my father," Jennifer said. "When Adam and I were still in high school and I used to come over all the time. My own father's a son of a bitch, you know. Getting him to say two straight words in a row is like expecting the Sphinx to do a eulogy on Moshe Dayan. Well, you remember how he was when we learned I was pregnant."

"I thought he handled it pretty well," I said and then quickly changed the subject again. "You said Paul was in the construction business. What does he do?"

"He's an electrician. He's not a kid, you understand."

"No, I didn't understand that."

"Oh, God, he's almost as old as you are. How old are you?"

"Forty-one."

"Well, no, he's not quite that old."

"Nobody's quite that old," I said.

"Well, you are," Jennifer said and drained her glass. "Do you think we can have another one of these? Paul's only thirty-nine, I guess. Or forty. I'm not sure. I'll have to ask him when I get home."

"Home?"

"San Francisco. The apartment."

"I see."

"That's home," Jennifer said simply and I signaled for the waiter. He hurried over with the hors d'oeuvres he had promised, looking harried and apologetic.

"Sorry to have taken so long with these, sir," he said, "but I had some calls for drinks and I--"

"That's quite all right," I said. "We'd like another round, too, when you get a chance."

"Yes, sir," he said, "right away. In the meantime, we've got these nice little cocktail franks and these little hot-cheese patties and some of these things wrapped in bacon, here--I don't know what you call them. Enjoy yourselves, folks."

"Thank you," I said.

"I'll get those drinks for you," he said and rushed off.

Jennifer picked up one of the tiny frankfurters and popped it into her mouth. "Mmm," she said, "delicious. I'm starved to death, I may eat the whole damn platter."

"Maybe we ought to leave here and get some dinner," I said.

"What?"

"I said maybe we can have dinner together."

Jennifer nodded. She nodded and looked into her empty glass. Then she turned to me and stared directly into my eyes and said, "What you really mean, Mr. Eisler, is maybe we can go to bed together. Isn't that what you really mean?"

I stared back at her. She was a beautiful young girl in a strange town and my wife was 700 air miles away on a fire escape with the head of creation. Moreover, my own son had been making love to her regularly when they were both still in high school, she'd been pregnant at least once to my knowledge, she had undergone an abortion for which I had paid $1000 and she was now running around in her bra and panties in an apartment with a 40-year-old man who urinated with the door open. I did not honestly know whether I wanted to take her to dinner or take her to bed.

"Isn't that what you'd really like to do, Mr. Eisler?"

"Maybe," I said and smiled.

"Be honest. I'm over twenty-one, well beyond the age of consent."

"Are you consenting?"

"Are you asking?"

I didn't answer. I picked up my drink. The glass was empty. I looked toward the bar for the waiter.

"Go ahead, Mr. Eisler. Ask me."

"I don't think I will," I said.

"Why not?"

"Maybe because you still call me Mr. Eisler."

Jennifer laughed and said, "What shall I call you? Sam? That's your name, isn't it?"

"Yes, my name is Sam."

"I prefer Mr. Eisler. Come on, Mr. Eisler. Ask me."

The waiter brought our third round and put the drinks on the table. He seemed about to leave us. Then he hesitated, turned back and said, "I'm certainly glad we cleared up our misunderstanding, sir."

"Yes, I am, too."

"One thing I hate to do is irritate a customer. You realize, though, that I have to ask for identification if somebody looks underage. Otherwise--"

"Yes, I understand your position," I said.

"Otherwise, like, suppose I serve some kid and we happen to have the law in here; why, we could lose our liquor license just like that."

"Yes, of course you could."

"Listen," Jennifer said suddenly and sharply, "why don't you leave us alone? We're trying to talk here."

"What?" the waiter said.

"What?" Jennifer mimicked.

"I'm sorry, I just--"

"Don't be so sorry, just leave."

The waiter's jaw was hanging open. He looked at Jennifer in hurt surprise, then turned to me for support. I busied myself with the hot-cheese patties. The waiter shrugged, picked up his tray and started walking back toward the bar, slowly, his shoulders slumped.

"You didn't have to do that," I said. "He was only--"

"He was a pain in the ass," Jennifer said. She picked up her fresh drink, drained half of it in a single swallow and then said, "I never did thank you for the abortion, did I?"

"There was no need--"

"Oh, I'd like to thank you, Mr. Eisler."

"All right, so thank me."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now let's--"

"And I think you ought to thank me," Jennifer said.

"I thank you," I said and gave her a small nod.

(concluded on page 261)Terminal Misunderstanding(continued from page 108)

"No, Mr. Eisler, you can really thank me."

There was something suddenly hard and cold and dangerous in her voice. I turned toward her on the leatherette seat; our knees touched; she moved hers away instantly. I searched her lace and found her eyes.

"Thank you for what?" I asked.

"For going through with it. For not causing any trouble."

"Jennifer," I said, "there was never any question of you and Adam getting married. You didn't want it, he didn't want it, your parents didn't want it--"

"I don't recall anybody ever asking us."

"It was our understanding--"

"I loved your son." Jennifer said.

"It was our understanding--"

"Oh, the hell with you and your understanding." she said. "Nobody asked us what we wanted. Everybody just assumed we were too young and too stupid and too uncommitted--"

"Nobody forced you into anything."

"Everybody forced us into everything!" Jennifer said flatly.

"Look." I said, "we discussed this completely at the time. It was our understanding that you and Adam wanted the abortion."

"I loved that goddamn son of yours," she said and suddenly she was crying.

My first reaction was to look quickly around the bar. The only person watching us was the waiter. I turned to Jennifer, covered her hand with my own and said, "Don't, Jennifer. Please."

"I can cry if I want to," she said.

"All right, cry. But here, take this, dry your eyes."

"We shouldn't have told you," she said. "Keep your damn handkerchief!"

"Jennifer, please!"

"We should have just gone off and got married and never told any of you about it."

"OK, but that's not what--"

"We should have known better. You're all full of crap, each and every one of you. Honest Sam Eisler. Sends an eighteen-year-old kid to Puerto Rico for an abortion! I was only eighteen! Damn it, I don't want your fucking handkerchief!" she said and shoved my hand aside.

The waiter materialized again. He was wearing a stern and ominous look. He studied me solemnly for a moment and then said, "This person bothering you, miss?"

Without looking up at him, Jennifer said, "No, you're bothering me! Would you please go away and leave us alone?"

"Because if he is, miss--"

"Oh, my God!" Jennifer said.

"If he is--"

Jennifer suddenly seized my hand fiercely and looked up at the waiter, her eyes glistening, her face streaming tears. "This man is my lover," she said. "We meet--"

"Him?" the waiter said.

"Him, yes! We meet here secretly at the Chicago airport, and now you're ruining everything for us." She rose quickly. "Come on, Sam," she said, "let's get out of here," and walked swiftly away from the table. I paid the check while the waiter apologized yet another time. Then I collected the luggage and carried it in two trips to where Jennifer was waiting outside the bar. Her face was dry. Her eyes still glistened.

"Well," she said, "thank you for the drinks, Mr. Eisler."

"I think I prefer Sam," I said.

"Sure," she said. "Sam." She nodded and said, "Played your cards right, Sam, you could have had yourself a gay old time here in Chicago."

"Never was a very good cardplayer," I said.

"Not even in the old days, Mr. Eisler. Not even when two scared kids came to you and asked for advice. It's a shame you didn't understand what they needed from you."

"What did they need, Jennifer?"

"They didn't need an abortion, Mr. Eisler."

"Maybe they should have asked for what they needed."

"Maybe you should have known what they needed."

"I'm sorry I didn't," I said. "I mean that, Jennifer."

"No sorrier than I, Mr. Eisler," she said and her voice caught, and I was sure she would begin crying again. But instead, she picked up first one suitcase, the other, and then the wig box, and tossed her bag back over her shoulder and brushed her hair away from her face and walked off to try to catch a flight back to San Francisco, which was home.

when sam eisler told her she looked very healthy, jennifer answered, "depends where you're looking"