The Tailgate Trencherman

rooting for the old alma mater is no sinecure, so fuel up with a pregame picnic

There are naifs who still believe that a football game is all about 22 jocks having at one another on a brisk Saturday or Sunday afternoon. But anyone arriving at a gamesite an hour or so before kickoff would have to have second thoughts. There, laid out on the tailgates of station wagons, on folding tables and steamer rugs--even charcoal grills--one would see a mind-boggling epicurean spread. This is the real pregame warm-up, and many devotees would rather leave the tickets at home than forget the charcoal briquettes.

Tailgating is a natural by-product of another great American sport, called beating the traffic. Many Old Boys returning for Home-coming planned their journey so as to reach the parking area well before kickoff. That left plenty of time to stoke up on sandwiches and have a tot of antifreeze against the autumn chill. But some folks can't let well enough alone.

It wasn't long before sandwiches were upstaged by platters of cold cuts, fried chicken, imported cheeses and wines-- leading, inevitably, to a further escalation: poached salmon, whole roast filets of beef and lamb steaks and kabobs agrilling. Crocks of pâté are now rather commonplace, caviar with champagne not at all uncommon. And there's at least one reported instance of a chauffeur's doffing his livery and slipping into a white jacket before serving the martinis.

A disposition to conspicuous gourmandizing isn't limited to the Saturday campus scene. Pro-football fans are also into lavish tailgating. In Minnesota, home of the Vikings, the burghers have been known to turn out in dinner jackets to cheer their favorites on. Sportscaster Don Criqui tells in wonder of tables set with napery, crystal stemware, elegant cutlery and, for throwaway chic, candelabra!

It's more an exuberant stunt, of course, than a gourmet event. And it can get to be hilarious, manipulating an oyster fork with numbed, mittened fingers. True believers also speak an argot of their own. The line-up refers to that week's menu; an interception is stopping an edible on its way down the table; extra points are what you get for remembering to pack the corkscrew; and the guy pouring drinks has to be a cheerleader.

There is a happy middle ground between that kind of gamesmanship and a bag of sandwiches. You'll want rations with zip and style, but they should be easy to handle. Hot, thick soups or chowder in individual Thermoses, lusty casseroles and rich hand-held desserts are suited to the bracing weather. Add plenty of strong, steaming coffee and whatever wines or spirits match the food and the mood. Just be sure to take enough, which is about twice as much as you think you'll need.

Elaborate equipment can become a burden, but vacuum bottles and wide-mouthed jugs are necessities and an insulated bag with separate compartments for hot and cold can be handy. There are also fitted picnic baskets, traveling bars, folding tables and chairs, insulated casseroles and Styrofoam chests for ice cubes. The chest can do double duty as an ice-box, keeping raw salad ingredients crisp, soda, beer and juices cold. Take lots of paper napkins, Wash 'n Dris, paper towels for mopping up and two large plastic bags--one for garbage and one for stuff to be washed back at the ranch. Vacuum bottles will perform better if prerinsed with icy or boiling water, depending on what they will carry. Tightly covered casseroles wrapped in layers of newspaper stay hot for hours. Be sure to take a good corkscrew and a couple of combination openers, and guard them as though your life depended on it. It just might.

Our tailgate feed, described below, is ample for four well-honed outdoor appetites and even allows for extracurricular munching. The menu is designed so that you can hold the soup, crab roll or dessert for a fortifying after-the-game snack.

OK, fellas, let's hear it for old Gastronomy U!

[recipe_title]Sherried Lobster Bisque[/recipe_title]

[recipe]Small clove garlic[/recipe]

[recipe]2 cans (approximately 13 ozs. each) lobster bisque[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 cup cream[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 cup dry sherry[/recipe]

[recipe]2 ozs. diced lobster meat[/recipe]

Cut garlic in half and rub lightly around inside of small saucepan. Discard. Combine remaining ingredients in pan and heat slowly to simmer, stirring frequently. Divide among four preheated individual Thermos bottles or pour into quart Thermos.

[recipe_title]Kentucky Chowder[/recipe_title]

[recipe]1-in. cube salt pork[/recipe]

[recipe]1 small onion, chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 16-oz. can cream-style corn[/recipe]

[recipe]1 8-oz. can whole-kernel corn, drained[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 cup chopped pimiento[/recipe]

[recipe]1/8 teaspoon pepper, or to taste[/recipe]

[recipe]2-1/2 cups milk or light cream[/recipe]

[recipe]2 ozs. bourbon[/recipe]

Dice salt pork finely. Cook slowly in 2-quart saucepan until pork bits are crisp and brown. Pour off all but 1 tablespoon fat. Add onion and sauté until limp. Add remaining ingredients and bring to simmer over low heat, stirring. Simmer several minutes, stirring, but do not boil. Pour into prewarmed Thermos.

[recipe_title]Chive-Buttered French Bread[/recipe_title]

[recipe]1/2 stick butter[/recipe]

[recipe]1 tablespoon finely minced chives, fresh or frozen[/recipe]

[recipe]1/2 tablespoon minced parsley[/recipe]

[recipe]1/2 teaspoon lemon juice[/recipe]

[recipe]Crusty French bread[/recipe]

Leave butter at room temperature to soften. Blend in chives, parsley and lemon juice. If you're using sweet butter, you might want to add a sprinkle of salt. Split the bread lengthwise, butter cut sides, then put together again. Slice bread in 2-in. segments. Wrap in aluminum foil, keeping it in loaf form. To serve, simply unwrap.

[recipe_title]Snow-Crab Rolls[/recipe_title]

[recipe]1 6-oz. package frozen Alaska snow crab, thawed and drained[/recipe]

[recipe]1 tablespoon lemon juice[/recipe]

[recipe]1/2 cup diced celery[/recipe]

[recipe]1 tablespoon finely minced onion[/recipe]

[recipe]1 tablespoon pickle relish[/recipe]

[recipe]1/3 cup mayonnaise[/recipe]

[recipe]2 tablespoons chili sauce[/recipe]

[recipe]Salt, pepper to taste[/recipe]

Small club rolls or hamburger rolls

Chop crab-meat chunks into small pieces. Combine all ingredients except rolls. Taste for salt and pepper. Transfer (concluded on page 161)Tailgate Trencherman(continued from page 148) to plastic container with tight-fitting lid and chill. See that it remains chilled en route to game. Split rolls at home, but fill with crab-meat mixture just before serving. Makes about 6 sandwiches, depending on size of rolls. Serve with fingers of sweet red and green peppers and ripe black olives.

[recipe_title]Tailgate Chili[/recipe_title]

[recipe]2 tablespoons salad oil[/recipe]

[recipe]1-1/2 lbs. lean ground beef[/recipe]

[recipe]1 large onion, coarsely chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 clove garlic, crushed[/recipe]

[recipe]1-1/2 teaspoons salt, or to taste[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 teaspoon cayenne[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 teaspoon cumin[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 teaspoon oregano[/recipe]

[recipe]1-1/2 tablespoons chili powder, or to taste[/recipe]

[recipe]1 16-oz. can stewed tomatoes (with green pepper and onion)[/recipe]

[recipe]1 8-oz. can tomato sauce[/recipe]

[recipe]2 16-oz. cans red kidney beans, undrained[/recipe]

Heat oil in large skillet. Add meat, stirring to break up, until most of red color is gone. Add onion, garlic and seasonings; lower heat. Cook until onion is limp. Break up tomatoes and add to skillet, along with tomato sauce and kidney beans. Mix well and bring to simmer. Taste for seasoning and correct, if necessary. Simmer 1/2 hour, uncovered, or until sauce is desired consistency. If it becomes too thick, add a little tomato juice. Serve with soda crackers or corn chips. If you have to have chopped raw onions with chili, try the frozen. They're easier to manage and should thaw by the time you want them.

[recipe_title]Ham Jambalaya[/recipe_title]

[recipe]3 tablespoons oil[/recipe]

[recipe]1 medium onion, chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 small green pepper, chopped[/recipe]

[recipe]1 clove garlic, crushed[/recipe]

[recipe]1/2 lb. sweet or hot Italian sausage, sliced[/recipe]

[recipe]1 lb. cooked ham, cubed[/recipe]

[recipe]1 cup raw rice[/recipe]

[recipe]1 16-oz. can tomatoes[/recipe]

[recipe]1-1/2 cups chicken bouillon[/recipe]

[recipe]1/2 cup dry red wine[/recipe]

[recipe]1/2 teaspoon salt[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 teaspoon Tabasco[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 teaspoon thyme[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 teaspoon oregano[/recipe]

[recipe]1/4 teaspoon basil[/recipe]

Heat oil in deep pan. Sauté onion, green pepper and garlic until softened. Add sausage and brown lightly. Add ham and rice and sauté, stirring often, until rice is pale gold. Add remaining ingredients and bring to boil; cover pan and reduce heat to very low. Simmer about 20 minutes or until rice is tender and liquid absorbed.

[recipe_title]Sangria[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]1 bottle dry red wine[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Juice of 1 orange[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Juice of 1 lime[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]2 ozs. triple sec[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Superfine sugar[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 orange[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 apple[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Club soda, chilled[/drinkRecipe]

Combine wine, fruit juices, triple sec and a tablespoon or two of sugar, depending on taste. Stir well to dissolve sugar and chill. Pour into prechilled Thermos. When serving, add a half slice each of orange and apple and a splash of club soda to each portion.

[recipe_title]Bourbon Balls[/recipe_title]

[recipe]2-1/2 cups (about 5 dozen wafers) vanilla-wafer crumbs[/recipe]

[recipe]1 cup confectioners' sugar[/recipe]

[recipe]2 tablespoons dry cocoa[/recipe]

[recipe]1 cup finely chopped pecans[/recipe]

[recipe]3 tablespoons corn syrup[/recipe]

[recipe]1/3 cup full-bodied bourbon[/recipe]

Combine all ingredients and mix very well. Shape mixture into small balls and roll in additional confectioners' sugar, cocoa or very finely chopped pecans. It's a good idea to make these in advance and store for several days in tightly covered container to ripen.

[recipe_title]Jug of Bloody Bulls[/recipe_title]

[drinkRecipe]8 ozs. vodka[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]10 ozs. tomato juice[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 10-1/2-oz. can concentrated beef broth[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Juice of 1/2 lemon[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Light grind of pepper[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]Pinch of celery salt[/drinkRecipe]

[drinkRecipe]1 or 2 dashes Worcestershire sauce[/drinkRecipe]

Combine all ingredients in pitcher. Do not dilute broth. Stir. Chill in refrigerator. Before leaving, pour into prechilled quart Thermos jug for transporting to game.

The dedicated tailgater always takes a transistor radio, against an emergency. The emergency generally occurs around kickoff time, when everyone's happily eating except one football fanatic who yells, "Hey, I thought we came for the football game!" In such situations, you just tune in the game and keep on chomping.