55 Be Damned!

At the risk of corrupting American youth and kicking away yet another foundation stone of the Republic, I am here to confess an act of overt civil disobedience: I am a speeder. On the open highways of America, I haul ass. I pay about as much attention to the Government's cockamamie 55-mph speed limit as I do to the Treaty of Versailles, and, what's more, by observing a few rules of my own, I get away with it--most of the time.

Yeah, yeah, I know--speed kills, right? Safety freaks have been yapping about that for years and, wringing their hands with concern, they tell us that lower limits and tougher law enforcement will cut the death rate on the highways. A simple solution but patent bullshit. The fact of the matter is that pure speed on clear, uncongested roads has very little to do with fatal accidents. It's the other ingredients such as alcohol (50 percent of all serious crashes involve booze), drugs, mental disturbances, physical disabilities, suicidal instincts (some experts speculate that as many as 15 percent of all fatal accidents are (continued on page 124)55 Be Damned!(continued on page 103) suicides, for example), junk cars, poor weather, etc., that combine with speed to cause problems. But there is no statistical support whatsoever that a healthy, reasonably intelligent person with good eyesight and quick reflexes, driving a quick, agile car with top-quality radial tires, excellent brakes, steering, suspension, etc., is contributing to the highway carnage. Convince me otherwise and I'll back off, but until then, I'll operate in good-natured protest against a speed-enforcement system that I believe is shot through with inefficiency and hypocrisy--and keep my eyes open and my foot down.

Using a driving technique that was developed in Europe (where, until the OPEC embargo, most countries had no superhighway speed limits at all--an environment that quite logically produced incredibly safe and roadworthy cars such as the Mercedes-Benz, BMW, Porsche, Alfa Romeo, Ferrari) in the United States was hard enough before the national 55-mph speed limit, but now it takes some real concentration.

But wait a minute, you protest, didn't our saviors in Washington institute the 55-mph limit for two reasons--to save lives and to conserve fuel? Of course they did; the simple fact that it does neither has had no impact on their thinking. Consider these realities: As the economy improves, the accident rate seems headed for pre-fuel-crunch levels, proving what antiestablishment traffic experts maintained all along: Altered driving habits, not reduced speeds, temporarily reduced accidents in 1974. Does 55 mph cut fuel consumption? Obviously, the slower the cruising speed, the better the gas mileage, except for trucks, which for the most part must operate in a lower gear, which means higher engine revs and more fuel burned. And then we have really efficient small cars with lightweight, slippery body shapes that get better mileage at 80 mph than some monster sedans get at 40 mph. Add to that the general loss of efficiency in terms of time wasted and you can empathize with the guy who said, "Driving across Texas at 55 mph isn't a trip, it's a goddamn career!"

All well and good, you say, but isn't trying to drive fast in the United States tantamount to robbing a bank armed with a rusty spoon? I mean, the highways are supposed to be swarming with cops in high-powered patrol cars, poised to ticket anybody who exceeds 55 mph. Aren't the papers full of stories about the California Highway Patrol (we scofflaws call cops Chippies) convoying mobs of cars between Los Angeles and Las Vegas? Isn't the word out that Ohio has gone crazy in some kind of asphalt pogrom to enforce the new limit? All true. Yes, even great crossroads of desolation such as Wyoming and Arizona have generated substantial--if spotty--enthusiasm for enforcement of the "55." Such states as North Carolina, Utah, New Mexico, Pennsylvania, Maryland, New Jersey have evidenced fitful urges to get tough, but, like New York. Colorado, Indiana, Illinois, Texas and others that have quietly resisted this newest spasm of Washington-based nonsense, they lack the money, the manpower and the popular support to make 55 mph effective.

Nobody--not even your Aunt Ruth with her '63 Rambler American--is going 55 mph. Our American interstates simply will not accommodate such a sluggish pace. They were designed for utterly safe speeds in the 70-mph range and lesser velocities are simply dumb. When one recalls that 85 percent of all traffic in a given situation operates at a reasonable speed, regardless of the posted limit, the news that average interstate traffic is loping along at about 65 mph is hardly a revelation.

But that is still not quick enough. My particular preference is a cruising speed in the 75--80-mph range on open interstates, but it's a pace at which you can get your ass handed to you practically anyplace in the Union. Therefore, a little serious preparation is necessary if you plan to run that quickly and (1) keep your license for more than a week at a time, (2) stay out of jail and (3) not go broke paying fines. Actually, a fair amount of field research exists on the subject of subverting the highway heat. There is this underground coast-to-coast race called the Cannonball Baker Sea-to-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash that has produced incredible amounts of information on the subject. Started in 1971 by a semiweird journalist, car freak and general troublemaker named Brock Yates, the Cannonball has been run four times from midtown Manhattan to the Portofino Inn on the Pacific Ocean at Redondo Beach, California, south of L.A. The present record, including New York and L.A. traffic, plus all stops, is 35 hours and 53 minutes (set in 1975 by two Floridians driving a Ferrari Dino), which works out to an average speed of 82 mph. Can you run fast in the United States? The '75 Cannonball had 18 entrants, all of whom finished the run at an over-all average speed of 70.7 mph and got fewer than a dozen tickets and warnings in the process. Dangerous? Not hardly what the safety establishment tells you: The four Cannon-ball runs have involved 61 vehicles--ranging from 175-mph Ferraris to motor homes and pickups--and 149 individual drivers. Driving on the interstates at speeds seldom less than 75 mph and often over 100 mph, these people (myself included) have recorded over 160,000 miles with one minor accident. Yes, good drivers and good cars can run quickly and safely on the open roads. Here are some of the things we learned along the way:

Know thine enemy: Generally speaking, the interstate system is in the jurisdiction of the highway patrols of the individual states. They have different operating procedures and use different brands and colors of cars, etc. California, for example, uses black-and-white Dodges, often without a light or "gum-ball machine" on the roof, which makes them hard to spot in freeway traffic. California uses very little radar or VASCAR, which means the patrols catch people by sitting on the freeways on ramps or making highspeed "sweeps" through traffic, picking up anyone they have trouble overtaking. Many other states use unmarked patrol cars (although they are generally identifiable to the sharp-eyed for the following reasons: 1. They are usually full-size, solid-color, stripped versions of the regular Ford, Chevrolet or Dodge patrol cars used by the particular state in question. 2. Somewhere on the car is a tiny VHF whip antenna and, in many cases, a spotlight on the driver's-side windshield pillar. 3. Specially built police specials usually sit lower on their suspensions and use slightly wider tires than normal cars. 4. They will usually carry official state license plates). This unmarked-car business can be frustrating; many is the time I've warily trailed a slow-moving Dodge or Ford that fits the description, only to discover that the driver is a member of the Office of Weights and Measures or some such thing. Moreover, some states are getting really sneaky--New Jersey is using vans equipped with radar parked on its overpasses and Arizona and Maryland, among others, have been known to let their troopers use what appear to be private cars and even old pickups. However, disguises can work both ways. The 1972 Cannonball featured a trio of sports-car racers who ran their Mercedes-Benz cross-country while decked out as Roman Catholic priests. After being arrested in Arizona for driving 95 mph, one of the impersonators suggested to the patrolman that he might reduce the speed on the ticket to a more saintly--and less expensive--velocity. The officer, vaguely suspicious, countered, "Yes, Father, we could reduce the speed, but that would be lying, wouldn't it?" Until you're sure, be suspicious of any vehicle on the road; it's that simple. Memorize the brands and colors of patrol cars in the areas where you drive.

Highway patrols use three basic methods to trap speeders: radar--a version of the military device that measures speed via microwave signals; VASCAR--a simple time-distance computer, operated by the officer from his car, that emits no beams or signals whatsoever; and the aged but basically foolproof method of clocking relative speeds by speedometer. In theory, (continued on page 231)55 Be Damned!(continued from page 124) VASCAR is the neatest, cleanest method of the three. It can be used in motion or at rest and can time cars running in the same direction or approaching the patrol car. But police officers complain about its accuracy, its reliability and the fact that it is more cumbersome to use than radar. Therefore, radar becomes a greater factor in speed control with each passing day. The old window-mounted units that had a range of about 1500 feet and could be operated only when stationary have been replaced by the incredible Kustom Signals, Inc., MR-7, which has a range of about a mile and can be operated at rest or in motion, or even hand held away from an automobile! This is decidedly the unit of the future and the one speeding scofflaws must treat with the greatest caution (although there are counter-measures--read on). Radar can be, and is, used in all situations: from bridges, behind hills and around curves, aimed at traffic approaching from either direction, or from a low-flying airplane (known as a Bear in the air or a spy in the sky in C.B. radio parlance). Yes, these "picture-taking machines," as the truckers call radar, are the heart and soul of speed-law enforcement, especially on open stretches' of interstates (radar does not work particularly well on heavily congested highways, because it cannot easily discern one car from another) and, thanks to their cost, mobility and relative ease of operation, it appears they will remain as such for years to come.

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Smokeys, Smokeys, in the trees,They've got radar,But we've got C.B.s.

Embodied within that cornball couplet is the secret to fast driving in the U.S. Citizen's-band radios came into really widespread use following the great truckers' strikes of 1973, when the Government first tried to make the big rigs operate at 55 mph. Because these brutes eat more fuel and consume more time (which is money to a driver) at 55, the truckers created an early-warning system via citizen's-band radios (channel 19 across the country and channel 21 in some parts of the West). With it came a beautiful new slang revolving around the world of 18-wheelers (trucks), four-wheelers (cars), etc., that operates from coast to coast. A C.B. radio is indispensable. It's that simple. Using it as an alarm system is great, but it has an added benefit of getting you involved in the highway milieu--of removing you and your associates on the road from those hundreds of little steel capsules and creating a kind of loose camaraderie that fights boredom and fatigue better than all the stereo systems known to man. Since I've put my C.B. on board, I've given up on my tape deck. The next time some turkey rips it off, I won't bother to replace it.

A couple of words of warning: Pass the truckers with care. Run by some of them too quickly and they'll begin to yell over the radio about your speed. More and more cops (called Smokeys, Smokey Bears or Bears) are carrying C.B.s in their cars, and before you know it, you may have one on your tail. Also beware of a friendly voice saying something like "It's clear to mile marker 28, come on, come on!" That could be a Smokey (sometimes known as a Sugar Bear) trying to lure the unwary into his radar beam (which is, of course, entrapment, but, then, life ain't easy out there on the interstates, good buddy).

Hit the brakes when you hear the beep: OK, so you've got your C.B. (or two-way, as it is called) tuned up to full volume for incoming Smokey reports, but you still need more warning, which comes in the form of a small black container about the size of a Coney Island hot dog mounted on your dashboard or windshield. When it was introduced, the Snooper, made by Autotronics, Inc., of Richardson, Texas, was the best radar detector on the market. This unit, which sells for $79.95 (higher in some states), has an effective range of about 5000 feet and will sound an ear-piercing beep as soon as it senses a radar signal. In reaction to the new MR-7 radar, Autotronics now has the Super Snooper, which offers a substantial increase in range and receives both the X-band and the new K-band frequencies used by the latest models of police radar. These devices, like C.B.s, have no substitutes. (Forget that nonsense about putting aluminum foil in your hubcaps to jam the radar--it's useless, although there's a Texan known as the Lubbock Kid who's got his Camaro rigged up with a working police-radar jammer fabricated from the guts of a Sears microwave oven. The guys at Autotronics say a jammer is definitely within the range of their technology but are wary of its legality. However, if you were to have one built by your buddy, the electronics freak. ...) Not all radar detectors are useful. The small battery-operated units that clip to the sun visor lack the range and sensitivity of more expensive versions and can sometimes create a false sense of security. One motorist roared through a New York State Police radar trap without his detector's making a peep. Irritated after receiving his ticket, he turned around and passed through the trap again, this time at a legal speed. Again the detector failed, which prompted him to stop his car, get out and stomp the device into small pieces.

Treat driving as an art: Being an effective fast driver demands pride both in your personal skills and in your automobile. If you don't care about cars and the science of controlling them, you are stupid to attempt to drive them quickly. Because similar but less intense vehicle and driver dynamics relate fast road driving with motor racing, I recommend a pair of books: The Racing Driver: The Theory and Practice of Fast Driving, by Denis Jenkinson, and The Technique of Motor Racing, by Piero Taruffi (both available from Robert Bentley, Inc., 872 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, Massachusetts 02139). When you understand what these experts are talking about and your automobile is in perfect mechanical condition, you can run quickly with minimal risk.

Moreover, make sure you are well fitted to your environment; namely, that you are comfortable while at the controls. For example: Your seat should be far enough away from the steering wheel so that your wrist will touch the top of the rim when your arm is outstretched. Actual driving should be done with both hands, located slightly below the traditional ten-to-two position. The grip should be light, the elbows relaxed. Loose clothing is a must, both to enhance mobility and to reduce fatigue. Turtlenecks or tight collars are practically guaranteed to produce sore necks and stiff back muscles. Top-quality sunglasses are invaluable. Many fast drivers insist on small-diameter, leather- or rubber-rimmed steering wheels, which increase control and absorb perspiration, thereby making them easier to grip. A variety of custom steering wheels as well as quartz-halogen driving lights (highly recommended) are available from a multitude of automotive-specialty shops. If you are not happy with the comfort and stability provided by the seat in your car, high-quality, race- and rally-type seats--some fully adjustable--can also be purchased for from $100 to $300.

Think! Anyone who thinks of fast road driving as the simple act of cramming the throttle to the wood and hanging on belongs in jail--which is exactly where he is going to end up. The automobile must be driven cautiously at high speeds, because closing rates on dangerous situations and law officers are greater. This means that hill crests, blind bends, etc., must be approached with speed reduced and the driver prepared to hit the brakes, ready for anything. Concentration is the key and if you are dull and inattentive enough to drive blindly into a radar trap, you deserve everything you get.

When you get nailed: All the C.B.s and the Snoopers in the world won't prevent the inevitable. If you drive a lot, sooner or later you are going to get stopped for speeding. When (not if) that happens, follow these few rules to ease the pain: 1. Immediately pull over, with your four-way flashers turned on. Never, never be a dumb-ass and try to outrun a Smokey. Not only is it unforgivably dangerous but the odds of success are minimal. 2. Get out of your car and walk to the patrol car with your license and registration in hand. This is effective for two reasons, one practical, one psychological: Highway-patrol officers generally work alone, and that is a dangerous business. They are extremely vulnerable when approaching a stopped vehicle, which they do with reluctance. What's more, if you are conversant with Robert Ardrey's Territorial Imperative, you will know that the officer's largess will be increased tenfold when you submissively go to him on his turf. 3. Don't make an ass out of yourself by arguing or flashing that police courtesy card your uncle, the alderman, gave you. Highway patrolmen are, for the most part, highly trained, intelligent men who have heard every whacko story, excuse and tale of influence conceivable. They are professionals who are doing a difficult job (and many of them despise the 55-mph limit as much as anybody) and, if they nail you, they probably have you dead to rights and you're only wasting their time and yours by arguing or protesting. Virtually every rationale for speeding has been tried, including the one used by the Cannonball crew who, after being nailed at 115 mph, tried to convince the officer that they were desperately low on gas and were building up sufficient speed to coast to the next service station. If you think you have been unjustly arrested, get a lawyer and go to court, but don't mess around with the Smokey. And don't, for God's sake, ever, ever try to lay a bribe on him.

One final thought: When I talk about fast driving, I mean good driving. I don't mean some slob wheeling along in his Caddy at 70 mph with the stereo turned up and his arm draped over the seat back. To drive quickly means total involvement and success or failure is measurable by one simple test: It must be accomplished without the slightest inconvenience to anyone else. If you drive fast and cause another motorist to deviate from his own course and speed, even in the most minute fashion, you have failed. Force another driver to touch his brakes, turn his steering wheel or prompt even the most hypertense incompetent on the road to honk his horn in alarm or irritation and you have bad marks as a fast driver. Not only must you not place anybody's personal safety in jeopardy but you must set such high standards for your driving that no one notices that you are on the road. This demands incredible smoothness in your driving, which can only come through complete attention to the problem.

So turn off the stereo, crank up the C.B., get both hands on the wheel and start driving--as opposed to slumping behind the wheel and letting the car do the job. You'll be amazed at how rewarding the whole thing can be.

Another thing: Play it safe--take some cash along.