Rock 'N' Roll Trivia Quiz

And who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?

Who cares? You do.

This isn't really trivia we're talking about here---it's life. And it's all up there. In your brain. Your mind is an attic, full of dusty sax breaks, broken doo-wops and cobwebs of teenage wisdom sung in falsetto. Every one means something---whether you like it or not. Think back. Where were you when you first heard Rock Around the Clock? Which night at the teen canteen will At the Hop always remind you of? Wasn't Jailhouse Rock playing on the radio when the fuzz finally nailed you in that hot-wired Corvette? And doesn't Lovers Never Say Goodbye make you ache over what's her name all over again?

So let us not call it trivia. This is a quiz about Your Life, cheaper and more fun than therapy. But can you pass, Daddy-o?

1. Black-denim trousers and motorcycle boots go well with:

A. A white sports coat and a pink carnation

B. A monogrammed zip gun

C. A black-leather jacket with an eagle on the back

D. Anything the animal wearing them says they do

E. Any good black wine

2. What was made out of 100 pounds of clay?

A. The whole wide world

B. A woman

C. Five 13ths of Muhammad Ali

D. 100 pounds of ashtrays

E. 50 thou in six weeks

3. Finish this line by The Impalas: "I'm sorry,

A. So sorry, that I was such a fool"

B. I ran all the way home"

C. I spit up on your dress"

D. I hit you with my Harley and not my heart"

E. I can't understand what's wrong---this has never happened to me before"

4. The Big Bopper's real name was:

A. Richard Penniman

B. J.P. Richardson

C. Lawrence Bopper

D. Bob Bopper

E. Margaret Truman

5. Who of the following played for The Champs, (continued on page 193)Rock 'N' Roll(continued from page 105) Who did the 1958 instrumental rocker Tequila?

A. Loggins and Messina

B. Seals and Crofts

C. Glen Campbell

D. José Cuervo

E. Hunter Thompson

6. According to a song by John Sebastian, 1352 is the number of:

A. Ways to leave your lover

B. Ways to say, "I love you"

C. Guitar pickers in Nashville

D. Positions in the Kama Sutra

E. Hamburgers he ate in the Night Owl

7. Alvin the Chipmunk's colleagues were:

A. Cheech and Chong

B. Don and Phil

C. Simon and Theodore

D. Mickey and Sylvia

E. John and H. R. "Bob"

8. What will A Little Bit of Soap wash away?

A. Your lipstick from my face

B. Your lipstick from my Jockey shorts

C. The grass stains on my knees

D. The pomade from my hair

E. Your guilt and anomie

9. What instruments opened The Diamonds' hit Little Darlin'?

A. Comb and tissue paper

B. Maracas, followed by a Hawaiian nose flute

C. Castanets, followed by a cowbell

D. Scalpel, followed by a clamp and forceps

E. A red Stingray, followed by a motorcycle cop

10. Elvis Presley's first record was:

A. Mystery Train

B. That's All Right

C. A morals charge involving an underage Memphis cheerleader and a pneumatic auto lift

D. 72 hip thrusts in 30 seconds

E. Round, with a big hole in the middle

11. The biggest hit of 1955 was by:

A. Rocky Marciano

B. Mickey Mantle

C. Elvis Presley

D. Bill Haley and the Comets

E. Don Corleone

12. What did Dion ask the stars up above each night?

A. "Why must I be a teenager in love?"

B. "Why must I be a teenager?"

C. "When is my face going to clear up?"

D. "When will she let me go all the way?"

E. "Oh, rata tata too?"

13. According to The Beatles, where is Penny Lane?

A. Up in the Cessna fooling around with her uncle Sky King

B. Somewhere near Strawberry Fields

C. In my ears and in my eyes

D. Three blocks from Ventura and Reseda

E. Getting her kicks in Stepney until Paulie gets tired of Linda

14. Simon and Garfunkel once recorded under the name:

A. Garfunkel and Simon

B. Shorty and Curly

C. Tom and Jerry

D. Frank Sinatra, Jr.

E. The Flying Wallendas

15. What was Chuck Berry's original name for Maybellene---before Chess Records executives insisted that he change it?

A. Eleanor Roosevelt

B. Ida Mae

C. Ida Red

D. Chuck

E. Lulu Big Tits

16. What is "sweeter than wine---softer than a summer night"?

A. Wonder Bread

B. Your kisses

C. This magic moment

D. Pat Boone's brain

E. A rose and a melted Baby Ruth

17. What is chapter four of the Book of Love?

A. "Third Base and Beyond"

B. "Sauces and Pickles"

C. "You Tell Her You're Never, Never Gonna Part"

D. "You Break Up, but You Give It Just One More Chance"

E. "You Explain That Blow Is Just an Expression"

18. Who sang "I'm so young and you're so old"?

A. Buddy Holly to Peggy Sue

B. Paul Anka to Diana

C. Jerry Lee Lewis' cousin to Jerry Lee

D. Bruce Springsteen to Bob Dylan

E. Annette Funicello to Walt Disney

19. Which are the immortal words of Little Richard?

A. "Boogety-boogety, boogety-boogety, shoop"

B. "Comma comma down, doobydo down down"

C. "Wop bopa loo bop, a wop bam boom!"

D. "Wop wop doodley wop, wop wop doodley wop, wop wop!"

E. "Well, yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip-yip, boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom"

20. Among the many classic R&B versions of Stormy Weather, why has the one by The Par-Kays become the most valuable and legendary to collectors?

A. Most of the copies have been spread on toast and eaten

B. The Par-Kays were the first group in which Sam Cooke sang lead

C. Careful listening reveals that the tenor is shot to death during the sax break

D. Three of the original members of The Par-Kays became the Flamingos

E. Truman Capote sings all the high doo-wops

21. Neil Sedaka's song Oh! Carol was about:

A. Carol Lynley

B. Carole King

C. Caryl Chessman

D. Eleanor Roosevelt

E. 89 cents

22. For whom is Lee Dorsey waitin'?

A. His dealer

B. His ya ya

C. His ka ka

D. The iceman

E. Godot

23. Which of the following rock singers---all now dead---did not appear at the famous Monterey Pop Festival?

A. Janis Joplin

B. Jimi Hendrix

C. Jim Morrison

D. Otis Redding

E. Mama Cass Elliot

24. If your broken heart needs repair, who is the man to see?

A. The Playboy Advisor

B. The Handy Man

C. Your Lover Man

D. Dr. Feelgood

E. Dr. Christiaan Barnard

25. What is the first of the Ten Commandments of Love?

A. Thou shall never love another

B. Thou shall stand by me all the while

C. Thou shall put the emergency brake on

D. Thou shall check to see that the rubber in your wallet hasn't disintegrated

E. Thou shall never, never do Donald Duck imitations during intercourse

Answers, Notes and Additional Esoterica

1. C. Black-denim trousers and motorcycle boots go with a black-leather jacket with an eagle on the back.... A 1955 follow-up by The Cheers to their great Bazoom (I Need Your Lovin')---and the first successful song by Leiber and Stoller.

2. B. A woman and lots of lovin' for a man was made out of 100 pounds of clay---and there was only enough left over for three ashtrays. Gene McDaniels, 1961.

3. B. "I'm sorry, I ran all the way home," sang The Impalas. Answer A., of course, is the classic insight from the 1960 Brenda Lee hit, I'm Sorry.

4. B. The Big Bopper's real name was J. P. Richardson. Richard Penniman is Little Richard's real name. Margaret Truman is Bo Diddley's real name.

5. B. and C. Jim Seals and Dash Crofts were in The Champs and Glen Campbell played backup guitar.

6. C. 1352 guitar pickers in Nashville, from Nashville Cats, by John Sebastian, as performed by The Lovin' Spoonful.

7. C. Alvin's co-chipmunks were Simon and Theodore. John and H. R. "Bob" were Nixon's co-chipmunks.

8. A. "A little bit of soap will wash away your lipstick from my face" (The Jarmels).

9. C. Little Darlin' began with castanets, followed by a cowbell.

10. B. Presley's first record was That's All Right (b/w Blue Moon of Kentucky), released July 19, 1954, on the Sun label.

11. D. Thanks in part to Blackboard Jungle, for which it began the sound track, Rock Around the Clock by Bill Haley and the Comets was the biggest hit of 1955.

12. A. Dion wondered, "Why must I be a teenager in love?"

13. C. "Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes." The Beatles, 1967.

14. C. Simon and Garfunkel once recorded as Tom and Jerry. Their lone release came out in November 1957 and was called Hey, School Girl.

15. C. Her original name was Ida Red. Chuck got the name Maybellene, by the way, from a cow of his acquaintance.

16. C. As The Drifters smoothly crooned, "This magic moment is sweeter than wine---softer than a summer night."

17. D. The Monotones sang it true to their name: "In chapter four, you break up, but you give it just one more chance." That's the way it was---February 1958.

18. B. Paul Anka sang "I'm so young and you're so old" to Diana---who reportedly was his baby sitter at the time he wrote the song.

19. C. The lines are from Little Richard's Tutti Frutti. The other lines are from: (A) Pony Time, by Chubby Checker; (B) Breaking Up Is Hard to Do, by Neil Sedaka; (D) At My Front Door (Crazy Little Mama), by The El Dorados; and (E) Get a Job, by The Silhouettes.

20. If there had been a group called The Par-Kays who recorded Stormy Weather on the Rickshaw label in 1953, then C. would be the best answer---tenor Jewell Venosa, the very first rock-'n'-roll death, gunned down during a recording session in an abandoned Brooklyn Bowl-Mor by an enraged lover with perfect pitch. Unfortunately, there wasn't ever a version of Stormy Weather by The Par-Kays, or any Par-Kays, for that matter. Had you rock-trivia heavies going there for a minute, though, eh?

21. B. Oh! Carol was written about Neil Sedaka's girlfriend, Carole King, who was still Carole Klein back then. She wrote an answer song called Oh! Neil that went nowhere.

22. B. Lee Dorsey is on record as admitting that he was sittin' on his la la waitin' for his ya ya.

23. C. Jim Morrison is the only one who didn't appear at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1967.

24. B. For a broken heart, you call The Handy Man---Jimmy Jones.

25. A. First Commandment of Love: Thou shall never love another. The Gospel according to The Moonglows.

Scoring

The best way to score is to be a halfback on the football team and own a silver '57 Chevy convertible with four on the floor and bubble skirts---parked at the submarine races or the grunion runs with There's a Moon Out Tonight wafting sadly from the radio ... or at least it used to be. Then, for a while, soapers and The Moody Blues were the best way ... but now we understand that these days, in certain circles, Blue Oyster Cult and an assortment of high-fashion whips are nearly sure-fire....