Are You Sexually Liberated Enough to Make It with More Than One Person or Species at the Same Time a

If you answered yes to the title of this quiz, then you are probably liberated. Or weird. Or both. Don't let that stop you from tackling the rest of the questions presented here. The sexual revolution has been going on for decades. We figure that it is time to identify the patriots, the victors, the free souls who were there in the vanguard--shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, chest to breast, whatever. You know who you are. If not, take the following quiz and find out. We have divided the inquiry into several sections that test your knowledge of the basics (different strokes, erogenous zones and sexual accessories), your willingness to carry the battle out of the bedroom and onto the beaches, your actual frontline experience and, finally, your over-all ability to survive in the man-eat-woman world of orgies. The authors would like to make it clear that the answers to the following questions do reflect the views of the management. Good luck. You may begin at any time.

Section One: Different Strokes: If you find yourself at an orgy, do you wonder about technique? (Let's see, if there are 18 women present and I spend ten minutes on foreplay with each, it will be three hours before I get laid.) There is more to sex than climbing into bed to practice the Dead Man's Float atop a passive partner. The liberated lover continuously refines his approach, building a repertoire of gestures that express sexually his entire personality. His education begins at an early age: Sneaking into his parents' bedroom, he memorizes the good parts of an aged, yellowing copy of The Marriage Art, by Dr. John Eich-enlaub. (Yes, a handful of crushed ice applied to the genitals at the moment of climax can heighten an orgasm. It can also freeze your balls off.) Later, he diligently improves his pornographic imagination by perusing the classics: Hot to Trot, Jungle Fever, Teacher's Pet. Or he subscribes to Screw and Fetish Times. He keeps up with the state of the erotic arts by consulting manuals designed to enhance the act of love. Have you read The Joy of Sex, Oragenitalism, The Sensuous Woman or The Kama Sutra? If you are truly liberated, you will probably be able to match the following descriptions of technique with the title of the works from which they were taken. Give yourself one point for each correct match. Give yourself another point if you have actually tried the technique or had it done to you. (Maximum possible score: 8.)

1. "All the motions of her hips and torso that the woman can use in coital postures where she lies, kneels, stands or squats over the man can also be used when she is in the same position over the man for cunnilinctus or the 69. In particular the woman can use--and should make a real effort to try to learn, and learn well--the superb pelvic motion or mysterious gyration first made public in the erotic technique manual Les Paradis Charnels.... This is known in French under the jocular name of La Diligence de Lyon (The Lyons Stage Coach), about which a famous hoax or shaggy-dog story is told.... La Diligence de Lyon... is a rapid and continuous forward and backward rolling motion of the kneeling woman's hips, similar to that known in horseback riding under the name of posting, or 'broncobusting,' where the rider's body sinks and rises rhythmically forward and backward to match the motions of the galloping or bucking horse. In the human version the man may not be making any motions at all, while the woman posts...her whole body riding in this way on the edge of infinity."

2. "When a person is going on a journey and makes a mark on the thighs, or on the breast, it is called a token of remembrance. On such an occasion, three or four lines are impressed close to one another with the nails.... The love of a woman who sees the marks of nails on the private parts of her body, even though they are old and almost worn out, becomes again fresh and new. If there be no marks of nails to remind a person of the passages of love, then love is lessened in the same way as when no union takes place for a long time. Even when a stranger sees at a distance a young woman with the marks of nails on her breast, he is filled with love and respect for her. A man...who carries the marks of nails and teeth on some parts of his body influences the mind of a woman, even though it be ever so firm. In short, nothing tends to increase love so much as the effects of marking with the nails and biting."

3. "The idea is to tie your partner hand and foot, firmly but comfortably, so that they can struggle as hard as they like without getting loose, and then bringing them to orgasm.... On any bed with four posts you can stake a partner out, supported by one or more pillows. This is the traditional bordel method, probably because it needs no skill. Extension like this inhibits orgasm in some people--many feel more with the legs open, but the wrists and elbows firmly behind the back, or by being tied to a chair, or upright to a post. The critical areas where compression boosts sex feelings are the wrists, ankles, elbows (don't try to make them meet behind by brute force), soles of the feet, thumbs and big toes (artful women break off halfway to tie these last two with a leather bootlace--if you doubt this, try it).... Some energetic people like to be gagged as well. As one lady put it, 'It keeps the bubbles in the champagne.' "

4. "One of the most arousing things you can do to a man is the Butterfly Flick. On the underside of the penis, about one or two inches behind the head, is a ridge called the corona. Just underneath the corona is a delicate vertical membrane. This is the most sensitive area on the man's body. To drive him straight into ecstasy, take your tongue and flick it lightly back and forth across this membrane--like you were strumming a banjo. Now run your tongue down to the base of the penis and back up again a few times and then return to the Butterfly Flick, only this time flicking all the way up and down the underside of the penis. Continue until the man begs for mercy."

A. The Joy of Sex, by Alex Comfort

B. Oragenitalism, by Gershon Legman

C. The Sensuous Woman, by J.

D. The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana

1.---- 2.---- 3.---- 4.----

Section Two: Know Your Turf: An orgy is a crowded place and sometimes you have to wait in line, right? Wrong. The liberated lover is an explorer. He maps a partner's body, charting the areas that have erotic possibilities. No holds are barred. If it moves.... The following is a list of erogenous zones. Place a value from one to five on each of the areas named--one for least sensitive, five for most sensitive.

1. Side of neck -- 2. Sacral dimples -- 3. Buttocks -- 4. Inner thigh -- 5. Behind the knee -- 6. Ear -- 7. Outer curve of breast -- 8. Nipple -- 9. Labia -- 10. Clitoris -- 11. Lips -- 12. Tongue -- 13. Stomach -- 14. Toes -- 15. Anus -- 16. Hair -- 17. Back of neck -- Total: --

Section Three: Things That Go Buzz in the Night: According to a recent report, some 4,795,000 dildos have been sold in the United States in the past decade by one manufacturer alone. We can account for most of those among our friends. Still, even counting them, it's obvious that America has come a long way. For superpatriots and the Daughters of the American Revolution, there's a Bicentennial dildo in red, white and blue. Sure beats Mom and apple pie. The liberated lover maintains a well-equipped toy chest to entertain his guests. He knows his tool and how to use his toys. The following is a random selection of sexual accessories, most of which are guaranteed to produce voluptuous sensations. Give yourself one point for each item that you have tried. Give yourself an extra point if you own the object. We recognize the difference between the man who merely experiments and the man who actively seeks to convert others. You depraved bastards.

The toys

Use

Own

Give yourself two points for use, two points for possession of the following:

Give yourself three points for use, three points for possession of the following:

Subtract five points for use, five points for possession of the following:

Section Four: Have You Ever Done It in the Bedroom? The liberated lover is foot-loose, fancy-free and flexible. "Have Body, Will Travel." He always has the time and he is always in die right place. Sometimes he even does it in bed. The following are locations for the filming of your own X-rated movie. Award yourself one point and one year in jail for each location you've tried.

1. The shower -- 2. The beach -- 3. The kitchen table -- 4. The office desk -- 5. An airplane -- 6. A car -- 7. A taxi -- 8. A train -- 9. A disco floor -- 10. An elevator -- 11. A phone booth -- 12. A hot tub or sauna -- 13. A forest -- 14. A church -- 15. A library -- 16. A nudist colony -- Total: --

Section Five: Are You Now or Have You Ever Been Sexually Liberated? A sage once said that a man who desires to be liberated should act as if he were liberated and, to all intents, he will be. And he'll also be fucking his eyeballs out. The following questions will simply determine, from the confession of your own behavior, whether you're in the right ball park.

1. Have you ever been nude in front of more than one person at the same time? --

2. Have you ever had sex in front of other people (i.e., in the presence of another person or couple. Flashing does not count.)? --

3. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at the same time? --

4. Have you had sex more than once with more than one person? (I.e., have you repeated the experience with the original cast and crew?) --

5. Were your accomplices of the opposite sex or mixed? --

6. If you have engaged in group sex, (continued on page 274)Are You Sexually Liberated?(continued from page 138) were the accomplices friends? -- Strangers? -- Members of a swingers' club?--Guests at an orgy at a movie star's house? --

Section Six: True Confessions: Assume for the moment that none of the above questions applies to your situation. Perhaps you've been stationed in the antarctic for the past ten years and have yet to taste the fruits of the sexual revolution. You haven't even chosen sides. How do you know if you're ready for the big time? Imagine yourself in the following scenario: Your new girlfriend tells you that a year before she met you, she went to a party with a man she knew quite well. The party was noisy, fun--everyone drank, smoked, snorted or meditated to get high. Your girlfriend began to feel loose, warm and friendly. The man began to make sexual advances while they danced--your girlfriend says that she responded. Then, without warning, an absolutely beautiful woman came over and gave the man a huge kiss. With a lot of tongue. She was an old lover whom he hadn't seen in hours. Your girlfriend confesses that she was attracted to the new arrival, who kept patting her arm, complimenting her breasts, making literary references, etc. The man asked if the two ladies would like to accompany him back to his apartment to make love. Your girlfriend, realizing that this was a chance to satisfy a deep, abiding fantasy, agreed. She gives you the clinical details. The woman was good at performing cunnilingus, but the man was better. Your girlfriend kissed the other woman's breasts, while the man entered her from the rear. They changed places. Her orgasm was overwhelming, perhaps the most extraordinary of her life, but, in retrospect, nothing you'd write home about or expect to repeat in the near future. End of scenario. Your reaction is:

1. Why is she telling me this? Does it mean she loves me? Is this her idea of intimacy?

2. Is she a lesbian? Is she going to do this often? Am I as good as the other guy?

3. She hasn't done anything like this with me, or even suggested it. I'm jealous.

4. It's part of her past. Our sexual experience improves us for our next lover. It is biographical foreplay.

5. Far fucking out. I'm turned on. Could you repeat the part where the girl was kissing your breasts, while....

Imagine that your girlfriend tells you the same story but confesses that it happened while you were out of town over the weekend. Would your reaction be any different? Yes--No--

Now imagine that after hearing either version of the story, you suggest calling up the other woman for an encore. You've always dreamed of having a ménage à trois. Your girlfriend declines. She has satisfied her fantasy. She is not interested in making love to or with another woman. However, if you wanted to call up the other man, she would be interested. Your reaction is:

1. You agree.

2. You suggest a foursome.

3. You decline and promise yourself that, with or without her help, you'll arrange a ménage à trois for yourself.

4. You cold-cock the bitch for general impertinence.

Scoring

Section One: The source books and quotes match as follows:

1. B: The description of the bronco ball-buster comes from Gershon Legman's Oragenitalism, a funky, scholarly tribute to the joys of oral sex.

2. D: Believe it or not, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana is the source of this bit of advice on giving hickeys to your girlfriend. Oriental sex is just high school sex with an accent.

3. A: Because of Alex Comfort's The Joy of Sex, an entire generation of bed partners has been bound and gagged. No complaints have been heard.

4. C: The Sensuous Woman, by J., is the source of the Butterfly Flick. Bless J.'s little heart. You may wonder why we include in our list of sources a book that was written for women. The reason is simple. In the battle of the sexes, it pays to do your intelligence work. Did you know what the most sensitive part of your body was? Did your girlfriend? It pays to know what the opposition knows and, in the absence of that knowledge, to teach. Maximum possible score: 8.

Section Two: Freud suggested that we are polymorphously perverse at birth--i.e., the entire body is an erogenous zone--and that we desensitize ourselves as we grow older. The liberated lover works to reclaim lost zones. Teeth are sensitive to sexual stimulation. So are eyebrows, rib cage and kneecaps. This section is not designed to test your knowledge of what areas "work" or "don't work" erotically. Rather, we want to measure your sense of the erotic potential of the entire body. We have listed 17 areas. A maximum score would be five times 17, or 85. If you scored the maximum, either you are liberated or you take good drugs. If you scored within ten points of 17, then you are a boorish lover, totally insensitive to the potential of your partner. Either that or you have been making love to corpses. Note the regions that received low scores on your tally. Next time you make love, concentrate on just those areas.

Section Three: How many of the items listed have you used? The maximum possible score is 30. For anything above ten, you can consider yourself a true experimenter, a willing subject, open to the subtle nuances of sex. Less than ten and you probably live in Sheboygan. As for owning the items, again, the maximum possible score is 30. Score above ten and you probably own a franchise with The Pink Pussy Cat Boutique. New York's leading erotic boutique. If you own any of the items from 16 to 20 (the inflatable vagina, Prolong, Auto Suck, penis enlarger or flavored douches), you are penalized five points each for general tackiness. Accessories such as Prolong--which claims to prevent premature ejaculation--or strawberry douches--which disguise the natural flavor and scent of a woman--are antithetical to the cause. Why worry about how long you last? Really, now. What do you think all the other toys are for?

Section Four: The maximum possible score on this section is 15. If you answered that you have done it at a nudist colony, penalize yourself five points. A liberated lover is spontaneous: He does not take guided tours of Disney World and he does not need or desire the organized air of a nudist colony. If you scored higher than ten, we've probably caught your act. Keep up the good work. Less than ten: Well, the world will still be there when you finish serving your sentence. If you are not satisfied with your score, a retest is possible.

Section Five: We're here to find out if you are sexually liberated enough to make it with more than one person at the same time. If you answered yes to questions one and two, you have overcome the major obstacle to group sex of any kind--the traditional belief that sex is something that should happen in private. If you are loose enough to take off your clothes or to make love in front of other people, then you are familiar with the closeness that comes from sharing, from celebrating a feeling with others. If sex is good enough to do with one person, then it is better with two. Or three. The energy jumps geometrically with each member. If you answered no to either of the first two questions, then you obviously had to answer no to questions three through six, unless, of course, you've figured out how to have an orgy with your clothes on. Question three requires a simple yes-or-no answer: If you answered yes, it indicates that you are willing to try anything once. A positive answer to question four suggests that you didn't learn anything the first time that would keep you from doing it a second time. Many persons engage in a hit-and-run tactic for satisfying their fantasies. It's the old adage: If you do it once, you're normal. Twice and you're queer. Our society has given its permission to try anything once. The liberated lover, however, does not just satisfy his fantasies and leave it at that--he weaves them into an ongoing lifestyle. Question five indicates your willingness to abandon sexual stereotypes. If you are hung up on whether you're bisexual or homosexual or asexual, you are not liberated. In an orgy, the two-backed beast of traditional sex gives way to a multifaceted creature that has no gender. This is a difficult obstacle to overcome; some feel that it should be saved for the next revolution. Question six is designed to test your degree of comfort with your style of sexual expression. Many people find it easier to experiment with strangers, thinking, perhaps, that if their friends knew what they were up to, they would cease being friends. Discretion has its place, but if you're afraid of judgment, you aren't liberated and probably will end up joining a swingers' club, where the erotic goings-on follow Robert's Rules of Order. If you can't do it with a friend, is it worth doing?

Section Six: We know, the scenario sounds like something out of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. What were your reactions to the story when you thought it was past history? Do you belong to the school of forgive and forget or relive and learn? Affirmative answers to reactions one through three suggest some degree of insecurity on your part. You are afraid of confessin, of comparison. You probably keep accounts.

The liberated lover is responsible for his own sex life. He does not view another person's experiences as a depletion of a resource that should be his alone. He's closer to the person who answers yes to four and five. Every experience improves the pilgrim. (Or, as Thomas Pynchon notes, you break your cherry on something different every day.) And it's perfectly normal to be turned on by a confession. Veterans of the sexual revolution are not afraid of trading war stories.

The politics of the matter become somewhat more personal when the event happens in the present tense. Your reaction to a confession, your urge to judge reveals a great deal about how you conduct your own life. Do you think that you can get away with anything as long as you tell someone about it? (The George Washington Cherry Tree Theory of Truth and Consequences.) The liberated lover is more inclined to live with his choices. Either he doesn't consider them mistakes or he learns from them and doesn't feel the need to burden someone else. If you feel miserable, you don't ask someone to kiss it and make it better. In this section, positive answers to three through five indicate an openness to new experiences. (It is all right to feel jealous, but only when you put it in perspective.) Which brings us to the proposed ménage à trois. If you agree to her request to call the other man, you're liberated. Probably queer, too, but don't let that bother you. You are willing to help your partner satisfy her fantasy (although why you would want to help someone who doesn't want to help you is beyond us) or you are interested in the same fantasy yourself. If you suggest a foursome, you are heading in the right direction, but you may be hung up on balancing sexual accounts. It is probably bad form to ask someone you love to pimp for you: If you can't arrange it on your own, you're not in charge. If you decline, that's your right.

We hope this has given you something to think about. It is not meant to be definitive--sexual liberation is an attitude that cannot be put on a scale. In fact, the whole notion of scoring is incompatible with the idea of an independent, adventuresome explorer of the sexual scene. If you are willing to take someone else's word for how you did, or what you are, then you are probably not liberated. However, some sections of the quiz are more revealing than others. Don't worry too much if you haven't read all the books mentioned in "Different Strokes"--there are some people (censors, assistant district attorneys, et al.) who can read such works and not learn anything. Similarly, do not feel inadequate if you do not have a completely stocked toy chest. It may just mean that your natural skills do not require accessories. We kind of like the sections on erogenous zones, though--after all, variety is the spice of life. Are you flexible, spontaneous, curious? If not, use those sections as a guide for growth. By far the most important sections of the quiz are those that focus on attitudes: Are you judgmental? Inhibited? Cautious? The liberated lover tends to disregard established attitudes about sex: He wants to find out for himself. Go to it.