The Playboy Sex Poll

The sex show, that good old-fashioned international erotic entertainment, has always captured sybaritic imaginations. You may tell friends that the one thing you miss about pre-Castro Cuba is the Havana cigar, but we know better: You long for the days of the Havana floorshow. The odd combinations of actors, actresses and animals. Sampson. The Truth About Catherine the Great. John Dillinger Rides Again. Maybe you can convince your friends that your last trip to Denmark or Amsterdam or Paris or Calcutta was purely business, but those receipts from the Pink Pussycat or the Garden of Eden tell another story. One that none of your friends would believe, anyway.

Of course, no one has seen the ultimate in theatrical sensuality, because the perfect sex show exists only in each person's mind. We decided to give people the opportunity to put their visions into words, to custom-design their own unnatural act. Welcome to the Amateur Hour. Once again, we ventured into the streets and, disguised as members of an obscure Oriental religious sect, asked 100 men and 100 women what they would most like to see in a live sex show. We also asked our subjects what they thought members of the opposite sex might watch. The results? See for yourself. The curtain goes up now.

Q:

What do you think a woman would want to watch if she paid to see a live sex show?

(Asked of 100 men)

Twenty-two percent of the men with whom we talked guessed that women would pay to see a sapphic love encounter--i.e., between two lesbians: "It would be a safe way to satisfy their own curiosity--to see if it's true that only women know how to please women."

Nineteen percent of the sample felt that women would enjoy seeing a heterosexual couple make love with style; i.e., "a black man and a white woman performing in weird, contorted positions" or "a costume ball where a high priestess is taken by a powerful rebel slave."

Seventeen percent guessed that women would like to see a rape enacted onstage: "Better there than in an alley."

Eleven percent suggested that women would pay to see a man with an incredibly large penis make love to a small, dainty woman.

Ten percent of the men guessed that the women would like to see some form of group sex: "Women would be turned on by seeing two really strong, handsome men being very considerate lovers to a not-so-gorgeous woman with an average-looking body."

Seven percent thought women would like to see men make love to other men.

Six percent thought women would like to see a man being dominated by a woman: "How about a wall full of chained, helpless men being whipped by a stern but sexy woman in leather?"

The remainder of the sample gave miscellaneous scripts--such as odd forms of masturbation, making it with animals, making it with parents, friends or famous people.

Q:

What would you want to see if you paid to see a live sex show?

(Asked of 100 women)

Thirty-three percent of the women wanted to see a single heterosexual couple onstage--performing a variety of sex acts in costume, on a fur-lined bed, on top of a grand piano or as part of a melodrama: "I've always wondered what it would look like if a couple performed 69 under water." "Beautiful circus acrobats sucking each other off while hanging from trapezes." "How about a haunted-house situation, where a woman is almost savaged by ghosts and monsters but is rescued in time by a handsome man, who then takes her as his reward?"

Twenty percent of the women would pay to see members of their own sex make it with each other. "Two amazons doing things to each other with dildos and vibrators. That would get my money."

Fourteen percent of the women wanted to see some form of group sex: "I would pay to see something artful--like 25 women with six men."

Nine percent of the women would pay to see a bondage-and-discipline situation: "Handsome guys bound with chains and excited to helplessness by a beautiful, delicate woman."

Seven percent said they would pay to see two guys get it on: "Here's a scene I could get into--a man playing Salome, doing a dance of the seven veils and peeling down before the admiring eyes of another man."

Three percent wanted to see a rape fantasy enacted onstage: "I could enjoy the idea of five men balling one woman all night long in front of an audience."

The rest of the sample had a mixed bag of favorite scenarios, ranging from animal acts to watching parents, friends and famous people fuck onstage. One girl wanted to see a priest and a nun disrobe to do some holy rolling. Another wanted to watch another woman make love to plants: "It isn't enough to talk to them." One girl wanted to see a nude basketball game between the Lakers and the Knicks.

Q:

What do you think a man would want to watch if he paid to see a live sex show?

(Asked of 100 women)

Forty-one percent of the women with whom we talked guessed that most men would want to see two or more girls make love onstage: "Guys would probably pay to see two women wrestlers masturbate themselves."

Twenty-eight percent thought that men would pay to see one male make love to two or more women: "The women would be fighting for the privilege of pleasing the man; they would all kiss and caress."

Twelve percent thought that men would pay to see variations on a theme of oral sex: "Maybe a chorus line with lots of cocks in lots of mouths, all at the same time."

Five percent thought that men would be turned on by S/M scenes: "A woman chained to a wall, her breasts heaving, being tortured by a medieval executioner in a black mask."

The remainder of the sample had some unusual suggestions for male audiences, ranging from animal acts to rape scenes and Roman orgies. One woman thought that men would pay to see nude little girls doing sexual things with each other. Another thought that men would love to see their girlfriends degraded onstage. Yet another thought that straight men would pay to see a gay ball.

Q:

What would you want to see if you paid to see a live sex show?

(Asked of 100 men)

Twenty-four percent of the men with whom we talked said that they would pay to see two or more women make lesbian love in a variety of ways: "I'd love to watch Olga Korbut do strange things to Nadia Comaneci."

Fourteen percent of the men we asked said they would pay to see a ménage à trois: "I would enjoy watching several women give blow jobs to one guy."

Nine percent said they would pay to see men, women and animals engage in unnatural acts: "I'd like to see my high school sweetheart bring herself to a climax in front of an audience and then have barnyard animals lick her clean."

Eight percent said they would pay to see an orgy: "One long chain of men and women making love in a circle."

Seven percent said they would like to see some form of S/M: "It would really be worth it to see nude women with long hair in ponytails put into bridles--with leather reins, the metal bits between their teeth--being flogged by riding crops."

Four percent wanted to see rape scenes, while another four percent wanted to see women masturbate in a variety of ways: "With blenders, coffee grinders, the handles of things, fruits and vegetables."

The rest of the sample had some offbeat ideas of their own: watching high school cheerleaders do their cheers in the buff, watching women with tattooed breasts embrace each other, watching football players make it with fat women. Two people wanted to see male and female sumo wrestlers ball each other. One man was wise enough to describe a live sex show with audience participation.

Summary: By far the most popular act in our poll was women making love to women. Not only is it what both men and women were willing to pay to see, it is also what they thought the opposite sex would most enjoy.

The women also correctly assumed that men would pay to see a ménage à trois. Group activity seemed to interest the men more than the ladies--most of the male scenarios involved a cast of thousands, while only the women were interested in seeing a single couple make love with style. The men overestimated the number of women who would pay to see rape scenes (why pay when you can see one for free from your apartment window?) or to see men with large cocks make love to small partners. Indeed, women seldom, if ever, mentioned a preferred dimension for the prop.

A sizable group of our subjects chose performances with an S/M overtone. Several expressed a feeling of power, an attitude that "if I pay for the show, I own it. I should be able to direct the players to do anything I want."

Judging from the colorful collection of answers, perhaps the reason millions more do not patronize the live erotic entertainments currently available is that people's sexual imaginations are much more exciting and original than what's offered on the stage. In the theater of the mind, all the world's a sex show and all the people in it are its layers.