The Playboy Sex Poll

Will there ever be a genuine aphrodisiac, one glorious chemical that will stimulate you sexually whenever you want? Or, perhaps, a pill that will stimulate your partner? (Here, want a taste of something fine?) No doubt, the wonderful folks who brought you aspirin (Not tonight, dear, I have a headache Here, take this.) are already toiling away in their laboratories, searching for the miraculous substance. But just stop for a second. Suppose the perfect love drug were already here--a genuine, medically approved, safe, legal, cheap and nonfattening aphrodisiac. Sold over the counter at any drug-store. What would it do? What would you want it to do? After all, there is an incredible variety of sexual sensations, parts and proclivities that we might wish such a drug to affect. What would most people want an aphrodisiac to do for themselves and for their lovers? That is what we decided to find out.

We asked 100 men and 100 women to give us a formulation for the perfect love drug. Our subjects ranged from people standing in line at the Chase Manhattan Bank to suspects in a police line-up in Greenwich Village. We do not claim that the people we talked with represent a cross section. We took our chances, just like anyone else who meets people. However, we do guarantee that the results are interesting. Now, stick out your tongue.

Q: What would you want the Ideal Aphrodisiac to do for your Partner?

(Asked of 100 men)

Nineteen percent of the men with whom we talked liked the idea of an aphrodisiac that would make their partners more sexually aggressive, something that would turn their lovers into nymphomaniacs who required no foreplay, that would make women come on like men: "Why should I always have to be the one to call the shots? I really would like my lover to be able to be more aggressive and demanding in bed, to be a genuine sex fiend." "I'd like a pill that would make her so aggressive she'd want to rip off my clothes in public and insist we do it then and there."

Fifteen percent of the men wanted the ideal aphrodisiac to improve the quality, intensity, frequency, duration or lubricity of their lovers' orgasms: "I know she would love to experience sex the way it's described in romantic 19th Century novels--complete with all the mysticism and wild waves of orgasm." "When a woman's climax is really wet, I find it most exciting. I'd like this stuff to make her a regular juice bar."

Eleven percent wanted an aphrodisiac that would make women find them irresistible: "I have that old high school fantasy. All the girls I'm remotely interested in are crazy-horny for me and would literally die for the chance to fuck me."

Ten percent were intrigued with the idea of a pill that would allow their women to lose all inhibitions, while another nine percent of the men wanted a chemical that would cause their lovers not only to lose their inhibitions but also to become sexual slaves: "Women have gotten too uppity and demanding in bed. They don't know how to follow orders anymore. I wish there were a pill I could slip into my lover's drink and for the rest of the night, all she would think about would be how to fucking please me."

Seven percent wanted a drug that would make their women become totally absorbed in them: "I'd like her to desire me as much as I desire her, especially in the morning." "My lover should really care about me, so that our sex would be better than anything she'd had before and she'd be willing to work harder to make it that way."

Six percent wanted their lovers to have a strong desire to perform fellatio: "I'd like to give my girlfriend a drug that would make her want to blow me any time I whistled or gave out some kind of prearranged signal."

Six percent were keen on the idea of their women being continuously available for sex: "Let her be ready and waiting, at the drop of my pants."

The rest of our sample responded with a wide variety of custom-made aphrodisiacs. Some wanted their women to come less ("I'd like to turn her off when I'm done"), while others wanted something that would turn their women into one giant erogenous zone. One man wanted a specific aphrodisiac--like a local anesthetic--that he could spread on his wife's ass, so that she would enjoy doing it doggy style. Hasn't he heard of K-Y jelly?

Q: What would you want the Ideal Aphrodisiac to do for your Partner?

(Asked of 100 women)

Twenty-five percent of the women with whom we talked wanted a chemical that would allow men to maintain their erections: "He should maintain his erection all night long and, at other times, even longer."

Twenty percent of the women were concerned with improving the quality of their lovers' climaxes by causing them to experience multiple orgasms, longer orgasms or more frequent orgasms: "I'm sure a lot of guys envy our ability to keep on coming. So the aphrodisiac should give him the ability to match me--climax for climax." "I want something that would let him slow down his orgasm without going soft. I know he'd get much more enjoyment out of it and, God, so would I."

Thirteen percent wanted to increase their lovers' sensuality and general ten-derness. They desired partners who could be gentle, imaginative, able to anticipate their needs: "I'd stuff him full of a chemical that would make him want to make love to me in very deliberately erotic ways with lots of slow rhythms, different touches and body explorations."

Five percent wanted an aphrodisiac that would help their men have repeated erections, that would keep interest alive until the women were completely satisfied: "How many nights I've gone to sleep unsatisfied because my man quit before I'd had enough. I'd want an aphrodisiac to turn him on and leave him turned on until I'm done with him."

The rest of the respondents wanted a variety of reactions. One woman yearned for a mind-reading drug: "I want him to know what sex really feels like for me, so that he would be able to get the duplicate sensations in his cock that I have in my cunt." Another wanted a drug that would make her man make love at odd hours; while yet another wanted a machismo malt--something that would make her lover come on like Gang Busters, a real he-man.

Q: What would you want the Ideal Aphrodisiac to do for you?

(Asked of 100 men)

Thirty-six percent of the men with whom we talked wanted an aphrodisiac that would give them ultimate orgasms--either multiple or prolonged or that would drive them out of their minds with ecstasy: "It seems that I'm always delaying my orgasm while she's thrashing about. Coming. Coming. I'd like a pill that would let me join her every time." "All of my orgasms should be longer and better, so that I would really want to make a lot of noise. I never do now, but my woman does and she seems to have so much more fun."

Twenty percent of the men desired something that would enable them to summon erections at will: "My whole body feels twice as alive when I've got a hard-on. To be able to have one all the time would really give me a sexual buzz."

Eight percent of the men wanted to become totally and utterly irresistible to women: "Nothing special, mind you. I just want a drug that would start an overpowering outpouring of sexuality, so that women would just fall over me."

Eight percent of the men wished to last longer before coming and to have total control over their ejaculations: "I want my cock to have the ability to vibrate at will until I'm ready to come. I'd like to fuck for two solid hours."

Four percent wanted a youth drug that would give them the prowess and stallion instincts of a high school stud: "I'd like to be able to work out like I did when I was 18. I could come six times in two hours back then."

The rest of the sample wanted pills that would free them of all inhibitions or allow them to totally concentrate on their lovers or cause their nipples to become erect. One man wanted a pill that would flavor his ejaculate: "Women would love its taste and maybe even get high from swallowing it. I would develop a reputation and women would come from miles away just to give me head." (He should read Dr. MacLeod's report on the possibility of flavored semen in this month's Sexcetera.) One man wanted a pill that would make his penis twice as large, while another simply wanted one that would keep him in shape: "The time I would save on exercise could be spent in the sack with women." Finally, one man wanted something that would make him a virgin: "A pill that would make me ready for sex in a mysterious way, so that each time I made love, whether to the same woman or to a new woman, it would have the intensity and magic of the first time."

Q: What would you want the Ideal Aphrodisiac to do for you?

(Asked of 100 women)

Thirty-four percent of the women with whom we talked wanted the aphrodisiac that would give them ultimate orgasms. Most desired more intense climaxes, while other wanted more and/or easier orgasms: "I want to feel the earth move, for a change, and I don't want to have to move to San Francisco to wait for an earthquake." "What this country needs is a good five-hour orgasm."

Twenty-one percent of the women desired an aphrodisiac that would make them more uninhibited and relaxed, that would make them happy to "love the one they're with" and not go looking for greener bedspreads. "My problem is that I worry about what my lover might think of my performance. So I hold myself back from going totally mad when I come. I want an aphrodisiac to release me andlet me scream and yell and act like a savage."

Eleven percent wished to become more aroused and sensuous from a sex chemical: "I want a pill that turns me into one enormous erogenous zone, a 5'4" clitoris."

Six percent of the women wanted to be more aggressive in bed, to be able to approach sex like men: "A love potion that would turn me into a rapist. That sounds like fun."

The rest of the answers were varied. Some women wanted a pill that would make them stay lubricated, so that they could make love longer, while others wanted one that would give them the freedom to make love to other women. Two women wanted a chemical that would give them greater control over their vaginal muscles. One woman wanted a substance that would make her fantasies real: "It would make me feel like a mermaid swimming around in my apartment. And it would give me gigantic breasts for just an hour, and then they'd go back to normal."

Summary: There were a few surprises when the responses were tallied. It used to be the women who complained about orgasmic dysfunction. The women we spoke with were more concerned with improving their climaxes than with whether or not they would be able to attain them at all. Now the men are complaining just as loudly as the women about not having intense, frequent or multiple orgasms. Other unexpected elements of this poll were the significant percentages of women who still felt a need to shed inhibitions and maintain sexual fidelity in their relations and the small group of men who wanted women to be more aggressive in bed.

But despite all of the liberated rhetoric of the past decade, both the men and the women in our survey agreed upon the traditional roles for the sexes: Both groups wanted the ideal aphrodisiac to make men perform better and to make women yield more easily. Most wanted the girls to melt and the men to stay hard. In general, the women turned out to be more generous than the men. Most females wanted to improve or prolong their partners' orgasms, while the men expressed a desire for more compliance in bed.

If and when the ideal aphrodisiac is perfected, our findings indicate that it will definitely have to be a chemical that affects the mind as well as the body. Imagine if such a potion had been invented ten years ago--it would have been designed to give women their first orgasms and prevent premature ejaculations in men. Today it would provide multiple orgasms and everlasting erections. To be truly effective, the ideal aphrodisiac will have to be at least as ever-changing as American sexuality itself.