The Playboy Sex Poll

an informal survey of current sexual attitudes, behavior and insights

Part two: Last month, we began our investigation of extravehicular sex. We asked 100 men and 100 women where they liked to make love and where they thought their partners liked to make love. In part one, we presented the answers of opinionated women (where they thought their lovers liked to make it other than in bed) and proud men (where they actually got it on other than in bed). The results were interesting. Men like liquid lust--almost a third chose to make love in showers, ponds, swimming pools, bathtubs or at the beach. All things considered, it looked to be a good year for water. Maybe it was the thought of Jacqueline Bisset in The Deep that aroused such fervor for aquatic erotics. It certainly wasn't Jaws.

Running a close second to water were wooded settings, the office and the car. One guy liked to make it in the doorway across the street from his apartment; another in the basement of his apartment building, in front of the elevator. Sometimes you get the elevator, baby, and sometimes you get the shaft. Threading through all of the responses in part one was the risky and risqué possibility of discovery. Public sex almost guaranteed new highs in passion. Does the same apply to the opposite sex? In part two, we find the opinions of men on where they think their lovers like to make love other than in bed and the actual confessions of women. Begin here.

Q: Where do your lovers most like to make love other than in bed?

(Asked of 100 men)

Twenty-three percent of the men with whom we talked reported that their women liked to ball at the beach. Some of their opinions follow: "Thank God for Lina Wertmuller. It seems like every woman in America saw Swept Away .... Now they want you to take them to the seashore, push them around a bit and then ravage them. If a guy tried that a couple of years ago, he'd have had his balls handed to him on a silver platter. Now it's chic to be savage. I love it." "Women like beaches--especially at night. It's reclusive. Exciting. I don't know why, but I can do anything to a woman on a beach. Fuck in any position, any orifice. They never deny me."

Nineteen percent of the men found that women liked to frolic on the floor: "It's more spontaneous to just drop down and screw on the boards than to bother with the bedroom and the whole undressing routine. Women need that suddenness. It makes them feel more desirable." "On the floor in front of a fire. Women are suckers for that. I've set up my ski chalet like a Hollywood set. Most women come as soon as they walk into the living room. They'd better--it's too far to climb to the bedroom, which is up in a loft."

Twelve percent of the men thought that women most enjoyed sex in cars: "I find that a lot of older women dig making it in cars. Maybe it makes them feel like teenagers again." "I used to own a really sleek sports car. Now I own an American compact. It's not the same. Girls used to tear off my clothes as soon as we parked in the sports car. Now they fiddle with the tape cassettes."

Eleven percent of the men explained that showers seemed to be a terrific turn-on for women: "They like my strong hands to slip and slide all over them, in and out of every hole. Female skin becomes extremely sensitive in the shower." "If you own a shower massage unit, you can forget about seeing your date outside the bathroom. A stream of water aimed directly at the clit is better than any erection, any day."

Ten percent of the men found that women were more than willing to play in the woods: "It's the old animal thing. No matter how civilized a woman thinks she is, take her to the woods and rip off her clothes and she becomes as sexually wild as any she-wolf." "Most women seem to have the same fantasy--behold the quivering white woman being royally screwed by an Indian brave with an enormous lance. I was once out in the middle of nowhere doing it with my girlfriend. She said that she felt very primal, that the place we had chosen to make love had ancient vibrations. I thought she was crazy, till an anthropology class walked right by us on a field trip. We were almost right on top of a famous site."

Eight percent of the men told us that women were bathtub ballers: "I have my stereo piped into the bathroom. It's like fucking in a grotto--the gurgling, sloshing sounds go right in with the music. Also, I've found that women who think sex is dirty find it freeing to make love in a clean atmosphere."

Five percent of the men said that their ladies liked airplanes: "It's risqué. Women like to be naughty."

Five percent of the men said that the desk job was the favorite of their lovers: "They think they're putting something over on the other gals in the office. It's the old 'I know something you don't know' routine. I've had girls grab my cock and suggest lewd things for lunch."

The rest of the sample said their lovers favored such varied sites as swimming pools, elevators, sailboats and the floor under the bed: "There's an off-the-ground, floating sensation in a pool that seems to fit the fantasies of every woman I've ever known!" "Maybe it's the strange women I always pick up, but I can't tell you how many chicks want me to undress them, roll them under the bed and then crawl in after them to fuck them stupid." "They won't admit it, but I can tell by their eyes and their token resistance when I pull down their panties that sex in elevators is a real turn-on. They just moan and writhe like crazy, especially when I shove it in from behind." "Most women adore making love on a sailboat under the stars, just drifting along, having orgasm after orgasm, sending their moans out into the ocean breeze. It's like being in a poster of the ritzy life that most women seem to crave."

Q: Where do you most like to make love other than in bed?

(Asked of 100 women)

Thirty percent of the women with whom we talked said their favorite place for screwing was the beach: "Sunset at the ocean is always erotic. If I'm with a man I like, I'll start massaging his cock ever so gently. Sometimes we'll stand in the water and let the ocean make love to us. It's slow-motion sex." "When we ball in the sea, our bodies are powerful and the sex is profound, filled with intensity. If I'm on my back staring at the sky, I feel like I'm making it with the whole universe."

Twelve percent of the women said they went wild in the woods: "Sun, shadows, sounds--in the woods, I find that I have deeper, more passionate orgasms. Especially if my lover holds me very close and moves his cock slowly. I feel like we're Adam and Eve." "My boyfriend and I often play this game when we're hiking. I pretend I'm a nymph from Greek mythology being chased by a horny satyr. When he catches me, he rips off my clothes and has at me under a grove of trees. We both love it, although our activity startles people who are passing by."

Ten percent of the women said that they enjoyed making love in the bathtub: "We have one of those old Victorian bathtubs with the ball-and-claw feet. Real deep. We set a mood with music, food and wine and lots of hot bubbly water. We can fuck in there for hours. It's incredibly sensuous. Every orifice in my body is connected by the water. It's total sex."

Nine percent of the women were happiest when wrestling on the floor: "I like the feeling of being raped. Especially if my lover surprises me, drags all my clothes off, grabs my breasts and throws me onto the carpet before he screws me. There's better penetration. He can really reach around and grab my ass, to plunge into me in just about any position he wants--you don't get lost in the mattress." "In front of a roaring fire or looking out a window on a rainy afternoon. It's very relaxing. I feel like I'm Lady Chatterley with her gamekeeper."

Seven percent of the women were auto erotic: "I like picking up hitchhikers, but only if they're clean-cut, innocent-looking and neatly dressed. They don't look like that when I finally get them to where they're going." "Men are always hornier in cars than they are in bed. Maybe it's the illicitness of it, but they tend to fuck with a lot more gusto."

Five percent of the women endorsed swimming-pool sex: "Pools in motels after midnight, when nobody's supposed to be there. The idea that someone might be looking from behind a curtain as our bodies writhe and twist in the lights of the pool ... it's something else."

Five percent of the women preferred their sex in the traditional passion pit--drive-in movies: "It reminds me of my teenage years. All intense thrusts, frantic fumbling, the notion that we might get caught." "I like drive-in movies--especially the kind with playgrounds down in front. Sometimes, after the movie starts, my boyfriend and I will sneak down and make it on the slides or in the swings."

Four percent of the women voted for the kitchen table: "I can't cook, so I have to use it for other things. Oral sex is fantastic--spread-eagled, with my legs draped over a corner of the table. I make a great centerpiece."

Four percent of the women were into jet sex: "I'm petrified of flying. I never feel like we're going to make it--so the lovemaking on an airplane is the 'those who are about to die salute you' variety. As soon as I get on board, it's pass the blanket. I'll go down on my partner or he'll go down on me. It sure beats the in-flight movie."

Three percent of the group said that they liked to make it on the roof of their apartment buildings: "I don't get out of the city too often, so I like to drag a mattress up to the roof and have my lover work out under the stars."

Another three percent liked to do it in the shower: "It's very arousing. My breasts mashed up against the wall, a man's cock penetrating me from behind, the needlelike jets of water stinging my skin. Yee-hah!"

The rest of our sample chose a variety of sites for their lovemaking: "I like doing it in an empty office during our lunch break. Thank God, the offices have locks on the doors." "Sofas are fun, because there's always the chance that somebody might come into the room and catch you. It makes the whole fuck seem so much more urgent, like cramming as much as possible in a short space of time. I guess I like quickies." "I remember being deflowered in a garden by my high school boyfriend. It was such a beautiful experience, I've tried to repeat it. If I walk into some guy's living room and he has house plants, forget it. I'm gone."

Summary: There is an old saying that Frenchmen like to do it in the kitchen, Germans on the table, Italians under it and Americans wherever a woman lets them. Judging from the responses of the women we surveyed, a man can expect to make love just about anywhere. Even the sky is not the limit, as several ladies expressed a craving for jet sex.

Once again, water was the favorite medium for massage and other carnal pursuits. Women were great fans of beaches, bathtubs, showers, etc. However, this time out, we noticed an odd discrepancy between the opinions of the men and the actual responses of the women. When it came to beaches, the men thought that women liked the action to be as rough and as pounding as the surf. More than one mentioned Lina Wertmuller's Swept Away ... and claimed that beach balling was best when it was abusive. In contrast, the responses of the women suggested that they felt a serenity at the shore. They experienced this contemplative mood in forest settings and in living rooms on rainy afternoons. About the only locations that both sexes agreed were custom-made for sexual spontaneity were floors and kitchen tables.

The theme of exhibitionism that ran through the men's responses in part one was present in part two, though slightly muted. For example, men reported making love in restaurants--either in the ladies' room or in intimate booths. None of the women mentioned restaurants as one of their preferred settings and none of the men thought that women liked eating out.

The lesson of the Sex Poll was clear. If you want to get more out of sex, get out of bed.

An invitation to readers: The Sex Poll is based on the in-the-street responses of 200 men and women. We are curious about how you, our readers, would answer such sexual inquiries and have decided to give you a chance. We are currently working on a poll regarding supersex. The questions are: "What single ingredient elevates sex above the merely terrific?" And: "The last time a member of the opposite sex said that you were incredible [now, don't be modest], what had you done that was different?" We will compare your answers with those of the weirdos and perverts we usually manage to turn up and present the results in a future issue. Send your responses to The Playboy Reader Sex Poll, Playboy, 919 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Feel free to go into detail. We're going to have to read all the letters, so they might as well be interesting.