The Playboy Sex Poll

King David and King Solomon

Led merry, merry lives,

With many, many ladyfriends

And many, many wives.

What this cheerful old verse left out is that because of their zealous licentiousness, both of those potentates also had a hell of a lot of kids. Lucky they were kings—only the megawealthy could support such an enormous brood. Lack of money is one of the key factors why more men throughout the centuries didn't set up multiple-mate households. Instead, monogamy became the pillar of our sexual laws. But will this connubial convention last? As a result of the pill and the anything-goes spirit that took root in the Sixties, an increasing number of erotic explorers have been sampling living arrangements other than just one male with one female.

Now anyone who has dreamed about living with more than one lover can try it—if he can figure out what it is he wants to try. There's polygamy. Polyandry. Bigamy. And who knows what else. We decided to find out just what alternate relationships people most fantasized about. We asked 100 men and 100 women to reveal their version of an ideal sexual living arrangement, and also what they thought the opposite sex would come up with. In addition, we invited Playboy readers to submit their own answers.

Q:

Ladies, what kind of sexual situation do you think most men would like to set up as their Ideal Living Arrangement?

Forty-three percent of the women guessed that most men were turned on by the thought of living with a group of women: "In my experience, men who set up housekeeping with a woman almost always wind up letting her do everything necessary to take care of the couple, and usually they split up because tasks haven't gotten shared equally. Sexually speaking, the same thing goes for their cock. Men probably crave many girls sharing big fancy digs somewhere. All he'd have to do is lie back and get serviced in every way."

Thirty-two percent of the women believed that men fantasized about living with two women in a classic ménage: "I've never gone with a guy who didn't try to get another girl involved in a three-way fuck, so I'd imagine most men would arrange a permanent ménage à trois, if we'd let them."

Eleven percent of the women thought that a lot of guys would prefer living in seeming monogamy with the double standard: "Most men like to put things over on their lovers. It makes them feel smarter. So I think plenty of them are going to pick the same old one on one, but with their mate being faithful while he gets to slyly play outside and ball whoever he wants."

Seven percent of the women figured that guys would find a couples situation very exciting: "In our crazy economy, money doesn't go very far anymore. I believe the majority of men you're going to ask would like a couples situation, so that the other guy's salary, which is usually much higher than women's, anyway, would help give all four people an easier time with everything. Group sex would be just an extra dividend."

Seven percent of the women guessed that the men wanted open relationships, where they and their lovers were free to have outside affairs, either openly or in secret: "There's a real double-standard guilt trip that's finally affected a lot of men, so I think from here on, we're going to see more and more of them perfectly willing to let their lovers cast their nets for casual affairs, as much as guys do."

Q:

Men, what kind of sexual situation do you think most women would like to set up as their Ideal Living Arrangement?

Thirty-five percent of the men said they'd want to live with a group of women: "Myself and four ladies. Two would work and support the rest of us, while I'd screw them a couple of times a week to keep them happy. (They'd have low sex drives.) Then one would be in charge of the house—a gourmet chef, cleaner, mender, laundry lass. She, too, wouldn't be all that libidinous and I'd have to lay her only two-three times a week. The fourth one would be an incredibly sexy, continuously horny chick with big tits, long legs, a tight ass and the hungriest cunt in the world that was always shoving itself down on my dick. She and I would fuck constantly."

Twenty-three percent of the men chose living in a ménage with two women: "In two separate periods of my life, I managed to arrange a situation where two gals roomed with me at the same time for about six months. It was great while it lasted. The fucking was cosmic. Once, I tried three, but the psychological stress, plus the sexual gymnastics, was just too complex. It fizzled in a few weeks, so for me, I could only manage a real long time with two."

Ten percent of the men wanted to live with a woman who would be faithful but who would allow them to do anything on the side: "Yeah, I'll admit it. I've got the double standard. I'd be insanely jealous if I knew the lady I shacked up with was having affairs on the side. But she shouldn't mind if I did. After all, sex for a man isn't so emotional."

Seven percent of the men said that a couples situation was very exciting: "I love the idea of an even number of men and women—maybe four duos sharing one huge mansion. We'd pool our money and our bodies. Each man would have his steady mate, but we'd all of us, gals and guys, be free to ball whoever else we wanted, with no hassles from the rest of the group."

The rest of the sample gave a variety of answers. Six percent of the men were turned on by the thought of living with one woman while both partners were free to have outside affairs, while another six percent of the men fantasized about bigamy.

Five percent of the men felt their ideal would be two guys living with one woman, while five percent of the men liked the idea of communal arrangements.

Only three percent of the men wanted both a wife and a mistress: "Through the centuries, the concept of guys' having mistresses must have worked, or that form of playing around would have disappeared."

Q:

Men, if you could set up your Ideal Sexual Living Arrangement, what would it be?

Forty percent of the men guessed that the majority of women were turned on by the thought of living with a group of men: "Bet you they want some sort of Snow White and the Seven Studs arrangement. Big, handsome guys with huge, tireless cocks. Each one goes out to work every day. So she keeps house for them, big deal. Look what she gets at night! I think women would really love that sense of power."

Twenty-five percent of the men believed that women fantasized about living with two men in a triangle: "When I was younger, I got drawn into living with a married couple. It lasted about six months and was absolutely terrific. We all fucked in ways I never thought existed. The wife told me every woman in the world desperately craves that same thing."

Twenty-three percent of the men felt that most women wanted to live with one man and one other woman: "I've always felt that virtually all women were secret lesbians. Many gals I've met have been incredibly eager to leap into bed with me and my girlfriend."

Twelve percent of the men thought that a lot of women would prefer living with a man who was faithful, while they played around secretly on the side.

Q:

Ladies, if you could set up your Ideal Sexual Living Arrangement, what would it be?

Twenty-five percent of the women said that a permanent "double date" was very exciting: "I've been screwed by two men at once. A girlfriend and myself have often done the guy. Neither of these situations is ever very smooth. You know, it just gets too unbalanced and competitive. My perfect living arrangement would be me and my lover and another couple. Two on two is much more stable."

Twenty-one percent of the women said they'd want to live with a group of men: "Me and two guys. Maybe even three or four. For starters, I'd choose males with totally different personalities. Then I'd tease them constantly every day and keep them hot for my cunt. But the rule of the house would be no fucking except on Saturday night. If any of them caused trouble during the week, they'd only be allowed to watch."

Nineteen percent of the women chose living with two men: "I'd be in seventh heaven if I could convince two guys to permanently move in with me. Not just any men. Obviously, I picture them to be very handsome. They'd also have to be completely straight—not gay. But they'd be so totally in love with me that not only would they be willing to do anything to my body that I desired but, because they knew I was turned on by watching them make love to each other, they'd get into homosexual fucking, too."

Fourteen percent of the women said they'd live with one man while both partners were free to have outside affairs: "I'm actually acting out my ideal sexual relationship. My male roommate is also my best friend and bedmate. But that doesn't stop us from screwing around outside the apartment. Sometimes a few weeks go by, neither of us sees anybody else. Other times, we're barely ever home, so active are our love affairs."

Eight percent of the women felt their ideal would be two women living with one guy.

Four percent of the women were intrigued with communal situations: "How about a sexual couples commune, where it did work? Oh, maybe six pairs who really liked one another but who looked very different and were involved in assorted projects. Not only would we then have a continuous variety of intellectual possibilities but our bodies would explore one another in many ways. I mean, just think—maybe one night I could be fucking all six guys. Another night, me and two women, while the men watched."

The rest of the women wanted to live with one man, in an essentially monogamous relationship, while maintaining an option to fool around—by inviting third parties to join them occasionally, by indulging in secret affairs or by attending swing sessions.

Summary: Thinking about the many discussions we had with the participants in our poll, we began to wonder why, if such a vast number of them had been harboring a desire to try a multiple-partner living arrangement, they had never actually brought this wish to fruition. Our pollees were perplexed. Even those who claimed to have had this fantasy quite strongly since childhood were unable to explain why they had never attempted to carry it out.

We spoke with Dr. John Money, who's a professor of medical psychology at Johns Hopkins University. "One of the reasons why so many people stay with monogamy is because our culture has shaped them so that anything else is virtually taboo. Everyone is so indoctrinated with the ideal of one-to-one romantic love and fidelity that the tremendous guilt he would feel in breaking this pattern restrains him from taking the first step. People are now beginning to break this age-old tradition, but they're typically doing it in a series of short extramarital affairs, which are much less threatening to the basic structure we've grown up with."

Too bad King David and King Solomon are not still alive so we could ask them to give us their expert, firsthand opinions. Perhaps we can surmise what their answers would be. For the last lines of that old verse go like this:

But when old age crept over them—

With many, many qualms,

King Solomon wrote the Proverbs

And King David wrote the Psalms.

An invitation to readers: We are currently working on a poll that investigates the sexual rites of passage of Americans. We are curious about the events that shaped your carnal attitudes. No doubt, you all remember your first time. But what other adventures shook you to your roots? Our questions are these: What was the most important sexual landmark in your life, other than losing your virginity? What kind of experience—other than the loss of virginity—would become a landmark for the opposite sex? (Obviously, virgins need not reply.) Send your answers to: The Playboy Reader Sex Poll, 919 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611.