The Bachelor Kitchen

Back in a more primitive social era, before the time of Gloria and Bella, one of the thoughtless flippancies concerned a handy gadget that "you screw on the bed and it does all the cooking. It's called a wife." Well, guys, them days are gone forever, and good riddance. What sociologists quaintly refer to as role adjustment has its compensations. Relationships are more rewarding--even liberating--for both camps. And many former M.C.P.s now take inordinate pride in their culinary skills.

Good tools are as essential to the home cook as they are to a three-star chef or a cabinetmaker. Nevertheless, you don't want to clutter up shelves and cabinets with a lot of junk. Junk, in this context, is anything not used with reasonable frequency. The answer is selectivity. "Look for equipment or machines that do what you do," is what Burt Wolf, co-editor of the two-volume Cooks' Catalogue, advises. "If you've a passion for fresh spaghetti, then a pasta maker is a worthwhile investment. Otherwise, it's a dust collector." Shun heavily promoted gift items and steer clear of the latest fads such as electric crepe makers and hot-dog cookers. Any such enchantments that haven't been used within the year should be wished upon the annual block-association fund raiser.

One final bit of wisdom: Go first-class. Buy sturdy, heavyweight gear emphasizing function over charm. In a word--or, rather, two words--professional equipment. Pioneered by The Professional Kitchen in New York, shops offering commercial ware are increasingly available to civilian cooks across the country. Alert department stores are also beginning to stock professional merchandise.

We commend the following selections to you with a few caveats. Prices vary from shop to shop, city to city, and are subject to change by the manufacturer. Higher-ticket merchandise is often discounted or on sale. Feel free to discard, substitute or add items to the list, depending on your personal needs and proclivities.

Food processor, by Cuisinarts, $160: Also known as the incredible kitchen machine, a Cuisinart will handle your shredding, slicing, dicing, chopping, pureeing and some mixing and grinding with elan--once you've learned the ropes. Cuisinart is manufactured by Robot-Coupe, which also sells a stronger, sturdier and more expensive processor that's available at commercial-equipment suppliers. Inexpensive alternatives include Farberware, Moulinex, American and Omnichef. Note that food processors are frequently discounted.

Knives, 8?--10? chef's knife, 5?--6? utility or sandwich knife, 3?--4? paring knife, 10?--12? flexible slicer, all by J. A. Henckels Zwillingswerk, or Wusthof Trident, about $11.80 to $34.50: Sabatier and Sheffield may be household names, but galley slaves opt for Henckels or Wusthof. There's not much to choose between them. Both are beautifully crafted, balanced, durable and forged--not stamped--from high-carbon, no-stain steel. Henckels' professional Durawood line has plastic-impregnated handles. Wusthof Trident knives are well priced. Knives are a lifetime purchase; don't stint.

Tip: A specialty cutlery shop such as Delbon's in Manhattan will hand-hone your knives to a razor edge before selling them to you.

Add a French tomato knife (4-1/2?, $2.50) and you're in business. The larger size can double as a bread knife.

Magnetic knife bar, by Magnabar, in 12? and 18? lengths, $5.95 and $8.75: Good knives require care. This cherry-wood bar, with a double row of magnets, will hold knives securely, ready for action.

Chopping block with sharpening rod, by Beard Glaser Wolf, $20: The board is seasoned, hard-rock maple designed for resilience. A built-in aluminum-oxide sharpening rod is an ingenious and handy feature.

Eight-cup coffee maker, by Melior Chambord, $56: This rhodium-plated-steel French import works on a plunger-filter principle and makes terrific java. The Bodum Bistro, made on the same principle but with plastic fittings, goes for about half. Coffee, however, is a very personal matter: Bunn and Mr. Coffee (electric) and Melitta and Chemex (filter) have their devotees. And many swear by the old-fashioned drip pot.

Enamel-on-sheet-steel 2-1/2-quart teakettle, by Copco, $19.95: This can be had in bright red, yellow, blue, soft brown, biscuit and white. It features a collapsible wooden handle for compact storage. Pair with a glazed-ceramic teapot, if you like to do things the British way.

Aluminum roasting pan, by Wear-Ever, $10: The 18? x 12? size is great for whole turkeys, large joints, perhaps a suckling pig and--why not?--lasagna. Also, pick up a chromed-steel roaster rack that will allow sufficient clearance for full air circulation around your roast.

Turbo-Oven, by Farberware, $130: A fast-cooking little oven, based on the convection principle used in professional equipment. Not a necessity but a real timesaver.

Toast-R-Oven, by General Electric, $59.98: In addition to toasting bread, it will warm (or defrost) croissants, muffins, bagels, etc., grill open-faced sandwiches, gratiner, etc.

Heatproof 2-quart glass casserole, by Heller Designs, $12.95: The lid of this may be used separately for small quantities. Frankly, plain old Pyrex will do the same job at a fraction of the price, but it doesn't have the style.

Saucepans, 1-1/2 quart and 3-1/2 quart, by All-Clad's Master Chef line, $17 and $24: These well-designed, extremely efficient saucepans are made of three layers of metal: alloy aluminum, pure aluminum and an inside surface of stainless steel.

Eight-quart steamer-cooker with basket insert, by Leyse, $19.75: This handles everything from spaghetti and corn to lobsters. Can also serve as stockpot. Available in larger sizes.

Skillets, 7? and 12?, by All-Clad, $13 and $23: Comments on saucepans apply.

Omelet pan, by Gourmet Limited, $29.95: Recommended only if you're an omelet freak. For the occasional omelet, the All-Clad pan mentioned previously will suffice.

Ice Cream Parlor, by Waring, $39.95: Think of it as a love machine. The invitation to "come over for some homemade ice cream" can lead to many delicious things. The scoop on dippers is the seamless aluminum Zeroll, by Roll Dippers, $6.95.

Pasta maker, by Ampia, $29.95: Another specialized item. But to a spaghetti devotee there's something very sensuous about fresh pasta. Once you've tasted it, the supermarket product will no longer satisfy.

Stainless-steel mixing-bowl set, by Regal Ware, $13.95: Well balanced and stable, in one- to three-quart capacities--and they won't break.

Salad spin-drier, by Rotor, $13.50: One of these rids your greens of clinging droplets of water neatly and efficiently with no splash, drip or swinging.

Pepper mill, by Perfex, $18.50: A handsome crank-handle model that can be easily adjusted for range of grinds, from fine to coarse. The cast-aluminum body wipes clean with a damp cloth.

Lemon peeler, by Forschner, $6.30: One may not be basic equipment for a suburban ranch-house kitchen, but for a bachelor's pad--a must! It removes broad, thin strips of lemon peel for twists in martinis. Also cuts thinner, deeper strips of orange and lemon peel.

Stainless-steel seven-piece utensil set, plus wall rack, by H. E. Lauffer, $29: Your basic seven--broad spatula, long fork, skimmer, vegetable spoon, basting spoon, soup ladle and gravy ladle.

And to round it all out: meat thermometer (Taylor Bi-Therm), kitchen timer (Terraillon), scouring pads (Beard Glaser Wolf Professional Scrubbers), swivel-action peeler (Ecko), rubber spatula (Hoan Super Scraper), rotary grater (Mouli), whisk, rotary beater, egg slicer, grater-shredder, bulb baster with injector, kitchen tongs, wooden mixing spoons, can opener, kitchen shears, narrow spatula, masher-ricer, spice rack, juicer, colander, double-mesh strainer, collapsible steaming basket, garlic press, funnel, corkscrew--punch--bottle-opener combo, canisters, asbestos potholders, and measuring utensils and cups. Aprons and cookbooks, certainly; perhaps a few fancies such as a wine thermometer and a zucchini corer.

Now that you've got all this shiny, new equipment, don't just stand there. Choose a menu, invite about 100 of your closest friends...and start cookin'.