Premixed Blessings

If You Detect a tinge of equivocation in the title above, you're a pretty sharp cookie; because that's exactly what's intended. Prepared, packaged cocktails are something of a mixed bag. But they do offer a lot to the single guy on the gallop--particularly in the convenience category. Stating the obvious: Prepared cocktails dispose of considerable measuring, squeezing, stirring, shaking, fumbling with ice trays and the mess accompanying that ritual. There's also the matter of the daiquiri that becomes progressively sweeter due to undissolved sugar at the bottom of the glass or the sour that varies in tartness, from drink to drink, depending on the size and acidity of the lemon. Premixed quaffs are, if nothing else, consistent.

They also provide a kind of social insurance; with a representative assortment on tap, you should be able to field any challenge guests toss at you. Strawberry margarita? Of course. Mai tai? To be sure. Piña colada? Why, certainly. Cherry-chocolate boom-boom swirl? No ... but how (continued on page 228) Premixed (continued from page 175) about a creamy banana colada or a pink squirrel?

Conservation of cabinet space and a reduction in such esoteric items as cream of coconut and Falernum can be important to apartment dwellers. But by far the prime benefaction of prepared cocktails is their portability. You can take them anywhere--picnics, boating, fishing, all types of sports events, the beach, hiking, cycling, train and auto trips--but not on planes. The airlines reserve that lucrative ploy for themselves. Premixed cocktails are useful at back-yard fetes and poolside frolics, too, when you don't want to drag out a whole bar, plus accessories and mixing tools. The relatively new Cocktails for Two come in Plasti-Shield-wrapped bottles that enhance portability, reduce breakage and clankage and increase cold retention.

So far, so good. "But how do the ready-mades taste?" you might ask. The answer is, "Better than they used to." For many years, prepared cocktails were scorned by anyone with a discriminating palate. Today, however, the quality of ingredients and the skill of the blender have advanced to the point where leading brands are, at the very least, acceptable--and many are downright enjoyable. A number are made with well-known, prestigious spirits and natural flavors. Proofs have been reduced to be more in line with comparable bar-mixed drinks, making for smoother products. And the excessive sweetness has been muted, though it's still a bit much on occasion.

Premixed cocktails present to the adventurous drinker an intriguing array of flavors, with perhaps several dozen types available from the big four: Heublein (including Club), Mr. Boston, Schenley Cocktails for Two and Duet--plus supplemental contributions from Ice Box. Bearing in mind that taste reactions are subjective and that there are bound to be variations among brands, here's a broad guide to the various classes of prepared cocktails. Martinis are inoffensive. Gin marts have the edge--more snap. The lower-proof gin and vodka martinis could do with an extra lacing of liquor. Sours aren't bad, though color might be improved. Manhattans, margaritas and the citrus types--screwdrivers, wallbangers and sunrises--are about what you'd expect. Daiquiris suffer from a synthetic lime taste. The exotics and liqueur-based cocktails are fine, if you dig these concoctions--some are better than you'd make yourself. Gimlets and black Russians are very good, indeed--the pick of the prepacks.

Among the interesting specialties are Heublein's brass monkey and black-eyed Susan, Mr. Boston's salty dog, Ice Box's amaretto sour and a line of wine cocktails under the Ice House label. The latest development in premixed sips is a line of sprightly, sparkling highballs, in 200-milliliter bottles aptly named Cheers!

Care and handling: All prepared cocktails benefit from chilling. Those that are 30 proof or under should not be poured over ice or they'll be too watery. If available, chilled glasses are desirable. Varieties that are 48 proof and above want the additional dilution that ice provides. The area between 30 proof and 48 proof comes down to personal taste. If you like a lighter drink, ice is indicated. With the exception of martinis, cocktails should be shaken briskly before pouring. Premixes keep well, six months to a year, anyway. Don't subject them to excessive temperature change, don't buy merchandise that has been in a store window and avoid those showing heavy sediment or changes in color. Leftovers are best stored in the refrigerator. Bottles can simply be recapped; cans should be poured off into jars with tight covers. Feel free to modify prepared cocktails to suit your taste; a squeeze of lemon to cut sweetness, a dollop of booze for more definition, a cherry, lime circle, apple wedge or pineapple chunk for decoration.

It pays to check quantities, as distillers are in the process of switching to metric measurements. The small bottles and cans come in both 200-milliliter (6.8 ounces) and eight-ounce sizes. The larger bottles may be fifths, quarts, three-quarter quarts or 750 milliliters (25.4 ounces). The small bottle gives you two generous servings; the large ones will pour about eight drinks, depending on proof.

Consult the accompanying chart for practical information on the popular, nationally distributed brands--with the usual caveats. Where an item comes in several sizes, the most prevalent is listed. Prices vary from state to state and from store to store. And with your own reasonable selection chilling in the refrigerator, you're ready for any kind of celebration--an impromptu party or an instant soirée à deux.

"Premixed cocktails present to the adventurous drinker an intriguing array of flavors."

Note: The above chart is a representative sampling of premixed cocktails currently on the market; it does not list all premixed cocktails available nor attempt to be comprehensive. All prices are approximate and may vary depending on point of sale.