The Playboy Sex Poll

At the astonishing rate we're going, kids may soon experience their sexual initiation somewhere between their fifth and tenth birthdays, give or take a few baby teeth. Without a doubt, one of the most startling sexual changes in American society has been the consistently younger age at which virginity is abandoned. Every time another study is done on this phenomenon, the results come out a stunner. Soon, a girl's deflowering will have about as much significance as the arrival of her first two-wheeler--and for a boy, a more memorable experience might be his first black eye.

But erotic high points aren't measured only by firsts. There is usually at least one other dazzling incident, apart from our initial fuck, so powerful and so profound that it becomes, in itself, an event that thrusts us into a whole new sexual phase. These carnal crossroads are unmapped territory, because people hardly ever discuss the specifics. We decided to bring this subject out into the open. We polled 100 men and 100 women and solicited responses from Playboy readers. Here are the results.

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Q: Ladies, other than losing their virginity, what do you think most men would say was an important sexual turning point in their lives?

Twenty-seven percent of the women guessed that the majority of men would say the first time they had had fellatio: "So crucial is getting their dicks sucked that I think it was the ultimate event in their lives other than being born." "Cunts are Ok. However, after males have been with an expert cocksucker like myself, the mouth is the masterpiece God put there much more for pleasure than for talking."

Twenty percent of the women believed that men's turning point occurred with an experienced older lover: "Sex is just one huge fumble for most boys until one of us canny big-sister types blows their minds by showing them all the outrageous things two bodies can do."

Fourteen percent of the women felt that men would say a key change had occurred after an S/M session: "If it were possible, the men of America would vote to enslave all the fuckable girls they could catch. Tying up chicks and totally mastering them is such a powerful aphrodisiac that an awful lot of guys never recover from that experience."

Twelve percent of the women guessed that fucking a female in the ass was a crucial event: "So many males are always trying to shove their cocks up the wrong hole. Even though I explain that I don't enjoy it, they keep on trying. That's led me to believe that making a chick give in to ass fucking, which means inflicting some sort of pain mixed with passion, must have been such an incredibly ecstatic moment in a man's sexual development that he becomes obsessed with it."

Nine percent of the women believed that most men were transformed by group sex, while seven percent felt that for the majority of guys, making it with a woman they loved was their most important moment.

Six percent were sure that men's sex lives changed after making it with aggressive women: "A light dawns in the male brain when they find themselves with a girl who insists on being dominant. The neon sign says, 'It is fun to just lie here and be passive.' They come like cannon balls."

Five percent said it was when men discovered that women dug sex, too.

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Q: Men, other than losing your virginity, what was an important sexual turning point in your lives?

Twenty-nine percent of the men said it was the first time they had had fellatio: "When I was II years old, my folks still insisted on leaving me with a baby sitter. I consented, because I had a crush on her. She was a freckle-faced 15-year-old tomboy. Although we never kissed or necked, we did the next best thing. We wrestled a lot. I always let her win, because she absolutely hated to lose and would make me go to sleep early if she did. One night, I had her head in a scissors grip between my legs and, no matter what she tried, I decided not to let her go. I was in my pajamas. Finally, she reached up and pulled down the bottoms and grabbed my cock in her mouth and sucked and licked until I let go. She kept at it until I couldn't stand it, which she loved. I prefer coming in girls' mouths, and I figure it's because of that baby sitter."

Twenty-two percent of the men told us that their turning point had been with an experienced older woman: "This older lady on my paper route taught me how to be the great lover I am today by talking to me about wild ideas and saying lots of four-letter words while we balled. Now I like teaching young girls in the same way."

Thirteen percent of the men explained that a key change had occurred after an S/M session: "I turned on to S/M after reading the Story of O. I thought the book was beautiful. Shortly afterward, I became involved with an O type. I still like regular sex, too, but there's something overpowering about having a naked chick chained down in spread-eagle position and simply using her in any way that enters my mind."

Twelve percent of the men felt that making it with a woman they loved had been their most important moment other than losing their virginity: "As soon as I figured out the difference between making love and getting laid, I preferred the former and settled for the latter only when I couldn't get it on in a deep way."

Six percent of the men said that masturbation had been a milestone, while another six percent told us their crucial event had been fucking a woman in the ass: "What drove me wild was the fact that it was so tight. It automatically grabbed me and pulled and I felt like a greasy cork continually going in and out of this gorgeous wine bottle until I popped. No cunt ever gave me that kind of superb friction."

Five percent said having a sexually aggressive woman had been a landmark and an equal number cited group sex.

Two percent recalled a night with a prostitute: "I felt I owned that chick. She had to do everything to me that I demanded. Other women can always refuse. That's why I still use callgirls every now and then."

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Q: Men, other than losing their virginity, what do you think most women would say was an important sexual turning point in their lives?

Twenty-one percent of the men guessed that the majority of women were changed by their first orgasm: "Vitamin F is essential to a growing girl's life, but vitamin O really makes her mature. Once she knows that a deep joyous release is the prize, she'll never settle for anything less."

Eighteen percent of the men thought that multiple orgasms brought about most women's turning point: "They realize just how much power is contained in that one little nub of pink flesh, and it gives them such a sense of confidence."

Fifteen percent of the men believed that women were transformed by an experienced older lover: "A mature lover knows how to play to a girl's body as well as her romantic spirit; wining and dining her, giving flowers and loosening her up with affection, so that sex is extra-special. No lass can resist that nor fail to get relaxed enough to hit new plateaus of feeling."

Twelve percent of the men felt that most women would say their sexual turning point had been becoming more aggressive in bed: "When a woman discovers her own sexual aggression, she also finds out how much pleasure she's entitled to ask for in bed, instead of keeping to the traditional role of lying back and hoping she's satisfied while a man gets his rocks off."

Eleven percent of the men guessed that, above all else, cunnilingus was the key experience. Nine percent of the men believed that female turning points involved S/M.

Five percent thought women were moved by vibrators, while the rest of the men cited exhibitionism, ass fucking and group sex as turning points for women.

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Q: Ladies, other than losing your virginity, what was an important sexual turning point in your lives?

Twenty-four percent of the women said it had been the first time they had an orgasm: "I had my number-one climax five years before a guy broke my cherry. It was a man's bicycle that brought me to ecstasy. I was riding down a hill and leaned forward over the bar. That little nub in the front of my jeans was pressed against my clit, and the excitement built as the speed did. When I reached the bottom and settled back on the seat, waves of excitement shot through me so intensely I nearly fell off the cycle. I'll never forget it."

Twelve percent of the women explained that their turning point had involved S/M: "It was with my second lover--someone who worked in the same office I did. We started having an affair. One night, as he was undressing me, he suddenly whipped off my tights and used them to tie my hands to his headboard. Then he blindfolded me and yanked my legs apart. He began doing all these sensuous things to my body with fur pillows, fingernails, his hair...alternating between stroking me and biting me. I don't think I've ever been so aroused since then."

Ten percent of the women explained that multiple orgasms had brought about their turning point: "I initially had 'em when one lover calmly played with my clit for nearly an hour while unfamiliar yearning sensations began igniting in my cunt. When I finally released all the sexual tension, the resultant volley of big bangs was a milestone."

Ten percent of the women said that making it with a man they loved had been their most important moment other than losing their virginity. Eight percent told us their sexual turning point had been when they became more aggressive in bed. Eight percent explained that cunnilingus had been the key experience and seven percent said that masturbation had been a milestone: "My early lovers used to call my clit the 'panic button,' because every time they'd try to play me there, I'd panic from the powerful sensations. Finally, I decided to do something about the situation. One morning, very early, I lay on the floor and tentatively started exploring myself. When those panicky vibes started, I forced myself to continue and, sure enough, managed to come like crazy. Boy, did I feel silly for my fears."

Six percent of the women told us they had been transformed by an older experienced lover, while another six percent said that using a vibrator had changed them: "When a long-term partner used a vibrator on me one day, I enjoyed it so much more than all the sexual experiences I'd ever had with men that I went right out and bought one for myself and broke off the relationship."

Five percent fondly cited learning how to give heads while four percent recalled anal sex: "It was like losing my virginity all over again. But better than that, it was discovering that I had three holes for fun and games when I thought I'd had only two."

Summary: If you look at our statistics, you'll see a glaring difference between the two sexes' answers. Virtually one quarter of the women told us that what had transformed them was the discovery that they could have an orgasm. However, none of the males found their own Big Os remarkable enough to mention.

Almost a third of the men said that a turning point had occurred when a woman gave them their first blow job. They felt free to relax while some gal tongued them to ecstasy. With our female pollees, this milestone of the mouth hardly ever emerged in their answers.

We were also intrigued with the role that experienced, usually older lovers played in sparking sexual breakthroughs for the men in our poll. It was their second largest category. Guys have to learn somewhere--yet they have been brought up to feel extremely uncomfortable talking with other males about their sexual ignorance and insecurities. With an experienced woman a man can be vulnerable and learn without losing face, which would have happened if he'd admitted his inexpertise to his buddies.

The knowledgeable lover was mentioned by only a few of the women we talked to. They are used to having the male be the guide--it is not likely to be a turning point for them.

One of the over-all realizations we came to while conducting this survey was that although you lose your virginity only once, there isn't only one sexual turning point. Almost all the people we polled explained that if we'd posed our question a couple of years ago, their responses would have been different from what they were now. And if asked several years from now, there probably would be yet other answers.

An invitation to readers: So much for indoor sports. Now let's find out about the other kind. Is free-style skiing an aphrodisiac? Does a session of coed racquetball get your rocks off? Here are our official questions: What sport is the sexiest to play or watch? and What do you think the opposite sex will say is the sexiest sport? Send your replies to The Playboy Reader Sex Poll, 919 North Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

Q: Sexual Turning Points