The Playboy Sex Poll
November, 1978
Have you heard about the man whose girlfriend got so hung up on her vibrator that she no longer wanted to have sex with him? The crafty chap came up with an ingenious solution: Every night before he tiptoed to bed, he glued a photo of her plastic love machine to the middle of his forehead.
Don't worry fellas. Life in the boudoir hasn't reached that point of absurdity, though, admittedly, it came close when women's lib gave birth to the blues by shouting furious antimale rhetoric. Back then, a lot of studs were scared. Their fear: Women would learn to pleasure their own bodies with such a vengeance that we men would become an anachronism, our penises romantically extinct.
Well, years have gone by and that bleak vision has proved paranoid. From all reports, erogenous fun and games have not disappeared, they've gotten better. We asked 100 men and 100 women to tell us in what way (if any) women's lib had improved their sex lives and those of their partners.
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Q: Women, how has liberation improved your partner's sex life?
Forty-eight percent of the females with whom we talked guessed that their lovers appreciated the new aggressiveness women show. Men could relax and let a woman take control: "I'm sure that the new-found, guilt-free ability to be passive while making love is the most popular answer you'll hear from the fellas. Remember, inside every macho pig is a pussycat longing to be stroked."
Twenty-five percent assumed that men would find sex wilder and less repressed now that women were liberated: "Not only do we do it more, we enjoy it more." "Gary, my fiancé, I am sure, is like every other male. He is convinced it made it possible for him and me to talk honestly about fucking, discussing every bit of nitty-gritty. He loves it when I tell him what gives me top-quality sex, saying that's what has turned him into a first-class lover. Now I never have to fake my orgasms. Just last night, we had the greatest time fucking in the shower. First he used the soap to lather our erogenous zones, putting his fingers and prick in me while the strong spray tickled our skin. Then he held back Coming and actually got off watching me climax so many times I nearly drowned from rapture."
Fifteen percent thought that sex had become more reciprocal. Now that women were free to ask for more pleasure and satisfaction in bed, men were less reluctant to spell out their specific desires: "One night years ago, after a consciousness-raising rap session, my husband for the first time let me play out my private fantasies in bed. I had always wanted to swallow a penis all the wav down to the balls. He helped me work it down slowly, then finally, when I thought I'd gag, he moved it back and forth gently till he came. He's never forgotten that evening and from then on, our bedroom scene has been different. He saw how good it was to experiment."
Twelve percent cited the "zipless fuck" as a new source of pleasure for men. With women more willing to have one-night stands without love or commitment, men are the beneficiaries: "The men I date would most likely say the feminist movement has made it possible for them to do more balling without having to constantly worry that women will fall in love like we did so often in the past. We females are more independent than ever before. Just because I relish fucking and sucking some dude from dusk to dawn, when it's time for me to get up and out, I have no sense of obligation. It's over."
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Q: Men, how has women's lib improved your sex life?
Forty percent of the men with whom we talked said they enjoyed the reversal of sex roles. At last, they could be passive, while the woman took control: "I'm totally involved in running my company--manufacturing luxury furniture. It's a pretty big operation for someone as young as me. By six o'clock, I've had enough of giving orders to my several hundred employees. I want to unwind with the kind of secure lady who has become more common--the type who doesn't expect me to continue my tough-boss role in the bedroom. My latest heartthrob loves the fact that I surrender my will to hers in the sexual arena. I lie motionless, not even moving a muscle, while she gets off over and over doing the most unimaginable things to my prick with her perfect tits, ass and cunt."
Twenty percent answered that women were now less repressed and able to enjoy the bedroom scene. What's good for the gander is good for the goose: "Years ago, it was hard enough just to get a woman into the sack. Now they'll do anything once they get there. My current flame feels the need to explore the extremes. Not just with cunnilingus, anilingus, whatever, but in designing far-out, memorable erotic experiences. Last month, she had me shave her pubes to make her feel more sensitive. It's almost as though she's making up for the generations of females before her."
Seventeen percent found that it was easier to have sex with strangers. The liberated woman likes to fuck with no strings attached: "The opposite sex can't get to bed fast enough these days. When I take a girl to the movies, she can hardly wait for the lights to go down to get my fly unzipped and my dong in her hands. One chick actually got off the seat and mouthed me--there were so few people at the show. But when her slurping made me come, we made so much noise and sounded so good, we actually received some applause. I gotta say I didn't object to her knowing my cock before I knew how to spell her last name."
Fifteen percent cited more open lines of communication. Now that women can define and ask for their own sexual satisfaction, men feel freer to ask for their own special treatment: "Sex in bed is 100 times more fulfilling, because now that girls have the guts to say what they want and get it. they have instituted reciprocity. Dates beg to know my favorite delight. For me, I soar when a babe sucks me hard just to the moment I feel I'm going to come. Then I adore pulling out and letting my juices spread all over her face."
Eight percent remarked that women had become so experienced in bed that they were ready, willing and able to teach them new sex tricks.
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Q: Men, how has women's lib improved your partner's sex life?
Thirty-eight percent of the men with whom we talked guessed that ladies had benefited most from the publicity given to the female-superior position. Lib makes it possible for women to take the initiative, to take control, to dominate the man: "If I find myself in bed with one more innocent-looking chick who turns out to be hung up on the ravaging of men, I'm going to fly over to England and kill Germaine Greer. The last one, a petite little waitress, took it pretty far. After handcuffing my hands over my head to the shower nozzle, she let freezing water run all over my body. I was so cold my goose bumps got bigger than my prick. She played with herself while I strained to get free. Finally, she turned the water off. She put cognac in her mouth and then on my cock. The liquor felt real hot. When I came, it was so powerful I'm surprised I didn't shoot her head off."
Twenty percent assumed that girls enjoyed the new sexual responsibility--that they were at last getting sexual satisfaction, rather than just giving: "No question about it. Girls will say it in unison. Because of feminism, they aren't afraid to ask for their own pleasure in bed. My latest lover tells me how she digs me rough, then supergentle--heavy love taps to her backside until it's rosy pink, then smothering the burning skin with my tongue and kisses. At this point, she practically purrs until she's relaxed enough to let my cock get in. I know that's what she wants. She tells me this over and over."
Seventeen percent thought that women got off on one-night stands: "If you ask me, they would say equal rights has removed their guilt. Now it's fine and dandy for them to have great impulsive nights of fucking, jumping from bed to bed, never looking back. I just met a girl at a party who 15 minutes later told me she was suffering from an attack of the hornies. Off we rushed to my apartment; after some particularly fierce fucking, she sucked me till I came, too. Then she got dressed and left me, saying, 'See ya!' She was there less than an hour."
Fifteen percent believed that women's lib had opened up new sexual vistas, that a woman was free to do anything in bed: "Every woman would have to admit that the greatest thing lib uncovered was the multiple orgasm. I find these days that all a gal cares about is coming. Like, 80 times. First she likes me to get her climaxing with my fingers, then with my tongue flicking her clit, and finally with my nice long hard-on. But I don't mind. It's exciting to help unleash that much energy."
Ten percent thought that women had learned to be more in touch with their own bodies, that they were more inclined to pleasure through masturbation: "The geography of sex has changed. Now that women are masturbating, they know the source of their own pleasure and how to get there. Even in the dark."
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Q: Women, how has liberation improved your sex life?
Fifty-one percent of the women with whom we talked said that lib had provided them with equal pleasure rights. Now they were free to expect, even to demand, gratification: "The era of my not having a good time is dead and buried. Nowadays, if I have trouble coming, I let my fiance know. Sometimes he has to be totally creative. Once I didn't think I could climax, but my man didn't want to disappoint me, so he took me gently and placed me in the tub. Then he rubbed me with bath oil until I got so slippery he could glide his fingers in and out of every hole so easily that he almost got his fist in. He never used his penis, but he knocked me for a loop. His magical hand was enough."
Twenty-one percent of the ladies found that liberating the mind had liberated the body. They enjoy sex more, feeling that it is all right to go wild: "When I read the Hite Report, I found other women like me were dealing with new kinky feelings, so I figured it was OK. Currently, I'm especially turned on by light S/M whippings. My beau used his belt and a ping-pong paddle the other night until I thought it was almost too much, then he made me do the same to him. First I did it lightly, then as he got hard, I whacked with more strength, at the same time massaging his penis. Then we screwed. Our climax was so powerful and simultaneous that afterward we just lay there in stunned silence, shaking all over."
Sixteen percent enjoyed the new sexual assertiveness. They liked to initiate sex, to dominate the man: "I run the show in the sack. I like my boys obedient and helpless. I use a male body like a mere tool. The more I treat their cocks like nothing more than dildos, the more they love it."
Twelve percent responded that they liked casual affairs. Sex without love and one-nighters without guilt were the prime advantages of the new lifestyle.
Summary: According to our statistics, a whopping number of the females (48 percent) guessed that submitting to an assertive lady was the change most men liked in this postlib era. They were right. This received by far the largest number of male responses (40 percent). Now that it is socially acceptable to be passive, men can relax, rid of the old pressure to perform--to keep it up, as it were. Guys can lie back, enjoying the role of sex object.
So intrigued are males with their newfound submissiveness that 38 percent of them assumed the majority of the women would be delighted running the carnal show and would get off by being on top. Well, the men were wrong. Only a small number (16 percent) of the gals preferred to be boss of the ball. Sure, females find dominance exciting sometimes--if that's what they feel like that particular night with that particular guy--but, oddly enough, for most, women's lib doesn't mean sexual role reversal: It means getting in touch with pleasure.
Fifty-one percent, far and away the largest female category, said feminism had revolutionized their sex life by effectively getting across the point that it's OK for women to seek their own gratification in bed. Finally, satisfaction has replaced frustration. A woman who still fakes it is about as hip as the frug, the Edsel, Hopalong Cassidy, glue sniffing and wired bras.
An invitation to readers: All right, gang. In an attempt to improve the quality of life in America, we want to know: What is the difference between good oral sex and great oral sex? We want you to answer from both sides of the orgasm--both giving and receiving. We will personally test all suggestions. Send your answers to: The Playboy Reader Sex Poll, 919 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611.
Q: Women lib and sex
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