Has Women's Lib Created a New Man?

Zsa Zsa Gabor, Actress

I don't think men will ever change. For me, I like only a domineering man, a strong man. I love men and I love to live with them, and my hope was always to get a man stronger than I am. Once, I was married to a weak man, a wonderful, sweet, darling man, and for a long time I was sorry I divorced him, because he was so kind and nice, and that compensated for his lack of strength. Maybe he was too kind and sweet to be strong. Then again, once I lived for years with a very macho man who was wonderful in sports but who was too demanding--and who was really nothing but just a male animal.

I don't know what I want. None of us really know what we want. I mean, when we get what we want, then we don't want it. We like variety like the guys do.

But the women's movement hasn't changed my sex life at all. It wouldn't dare.

Sally Quinn, Journalist

Most of my men friends would say they thought women were equal, yes, and they intellectually believe that, but emotionally, it is still hard for them to accept. I find the contradiction all the time: men saying one thing and behaving another way. At a recent dinner party, I sat between a Senator and a famous columnist, and neither asked me a single question about myself or talked to me at all. My whole function was to draw them out: What do you do? How do you feel about this, Senator? How do you feel about that?

Once men live with a woman who is "liberated," they see that the women's liberation is their liberation, and the women's independence is their independence.

Lainie Kazan, Singer

Men have had to change; they had no choice. It became inevitable that women were going to be in power in certain areas and that they'd have to be dealt with.

Judging from my friends and the other people I see, women feel freer nowadays to experiment sexually, to not be as attached to one human being. I don't know whether that's good or bad. My own sex life hasn't changed. I'm not a promiscuous person, that's just my personal taste. I'm a one-man woman, even if it's only for a week.

Men's sex lives have changed: Women are much more available. But maybe that's inhibiting men. Maybe some men can't handle the new aggressive attitude of the new woman.

Dr. Harriet Leve, Cofounder of San Francisco's Bisexual Center

We've always believed that women were totally romantic and that love was the main issue in their lives, and we always made such a clear and distinct differentiation between men and women. What I'm striving for is not to have that differentiation at all.

Carol Doda, Topless Dancer

Men have accepted the fact that women should be treated as equals in business, but they have not accepted the emotional part. Men are less aggressive than they used to be. Since the movement, men are afraid to relate, afraid to show their feelings, afraid to just be themselves.

If a man thinks that the movement has intimidated him, he's been brainwashed, and so it makes it difficult for me: If I'm not aggressive toward a man, I might never get anywhere. I'm tired of being the aggressor. That's man's nature, not mine. Sure, I think that women should be aggressive sometimes, but I'll be damned if I want to be that way all the time! Nowadays, men don't want to put their feelings on the line. They're afraid of being hurt.

Christine Jorgensen, Transsexual

In my opinion, the movement is not strictly to liberate women, it's to liberate men. For every liberated woman, there's a more liberated man.

I think there've been more and more dents made in all armors, not just in that of the traditional male. Women still want a man to be a man, yes, but they don't want him going around flexing his muscles and shouting, "I'm a man!"

The thing now is there are fewer frustrated women. Women now are more capable of expressing their desires sexually instead of being an old-time submissive object. The old way wasn't much fun for women, and probably wasn't much fun for men, either.

Of course, there's a differentiation between male and female, and I think it will always be there. Vive la difference!

Mary Morgan (Mrs. Benjamin Spock), Wife and staunch feminist

Please don't call me Mary Spock. Mary Morgan is my name, and that symbolizes that I still have my own identity. Ben and I feel that I don't want to be an appendage.

See, there's a big difference between being just nice and kind and polite to women and in understanding the injustice that has been happening to women all these years. Ben sees the difference, and if he hadn't got the message loud and clear, I wouldn't have married him. Ben was convinced how in a very serious way his book contributed to women's being scripted to play roles.

The movement has altered people's sex lives. Some women have found that they can have sexual relationships with different men--and with women, too. I wholly support the bisexuality of the movement and I think it is very liberating. It offers different options for women. It also doubles a woman's chance for a date on Saturday night.

Do women really need a man? Well, I have a shirt on right now and it says: A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Eileen Ford, Model-Agency head and wife

Well, my husband hasn't changed, he hasn't been moved around by women's liberation; he's as much a male-chauvinist pig as ever.

Women aren't trying to make any dents in the traditional male armor. They're in love with it. As far as I'm concerned, any man a rational woman would want is a man who can be classified as a male chauvinist. I don't want to see my husband doing the laundry, the dishes, I don't want my husband to take over women's functions. And I don't want to take over his.

It's simple: A man's got to be boss. A man doesn't want to be your shadow, and shouldn't be. Because you lose respect for him and he loses respect for himself. And when a woman thinks she's boss, you know what happens? The man is gonna go out and find somebody who is warm and loving and who wants a man. Don't let anybody tell you that marriage is a two-way street. Marriage is a one-way street, and it better be his.

Men were always free; why should they change? Nowadays, they're just getting more for nothing. I would say that, yes, there's been change: Men went from best to better.

Abigail Van Buren ("Dear Abby"), Advice columnist

As far as men's reactions being favorable to the movement, I'm stumped. It could be, but I just don't know whether men are favorable or whether they are putting us on. I mean, how can we tell?

Marie Osmond, Television performer

I think men have changed in some ways, but I really don't know. I think a man should still be a man and that a woman should assume her proper role of being a woman. I'm not saying that she's anything less by that. I'm saying that once a man thinks a woman is less, then shame on him.

I don't need any organization to tell me how to be a woman. I don't go along with their views and I don't agree with a lot of their beliefs, but I believe they've made a dent to a certain extent to a certain type of woman.

If a man and a woman share an equal relationship, she should be behind him, not against him, not trying to be better than he is. You know, you get a woman out there trying to beat her husband, all you get is a big bunch of tension.

Phyllis Diller, Comedian

Men don't want to admit that they've had to change. They don't want to admit they were ever unfair. But they were. Men are hedging, but they're realizing that they have to accept the fact that women have picked themselves up and that things have changed.

I didn't change. I didn't have to. I've always been liberated. Look at me, for God's sake: I supported all the husbands and all the children.

I've changed my attitude toward men, but not because of any movement. I changed because I realized that I had attracted two weak men to myself, and I realize that I must never do that again.

What I like are thin, strong, tall, men-men. Not macho men, that's phony. I don't like muscles. I have no time for the I'm-the-boss type. That's very unattractive. If you have to flaunt anything, I don't think it's real. Honey, if you've got it, everybody knows it.

I can't imagine a woman not wanting a normal relationship with a man. We want a man who is very charismatic, very gentle, gentle in bed, good sex, good out in the world, and completely in control of himself at all times. Why shouldn't men be that way? Women have been doing it for centuries.

Mitzi Gaynor, Performer

I should think that men would be happy about the changes. It used to be a man had to go through all that number of making a date, and so on; now a girl picks up the phone and says, "Hey, I'm lonesome and I want you, let's get cooking."

Man by nature has always been in the position where he brought home the bread, he made the phone call, he was the pursuer. Well, it ain't that way anymore, and it's hard for guys to adjust.

Men and women are different, that's all. A man can make love to a woman and the second it's over, he's already thinking he's gonna be late for the office; the woman, she's dreaming all day how wonderful it was. Men's bodies are constructed differently: A man is much more--you should pardon the expression--up front than a woman is. It takes a lot more to arouse a woman, but it takes very little if the man is in the mood.

What do women want? Women like to depend on things, but they like to be treated equally, too. Women are not scatterbrained and helter-skelter. Women like a nice home and a hearth and a slab of bacon by the stove. That's the truth. I don't think women have changed very much at all. Maybe the movement has gone far enough. I don't know what's going to happen or how much better things are going to be; no matter how you look at it, it's still a man's world.

Bianca Jagger, Jet Setter

Things are changing. Women's education is changing. Change, not liberation; I don't like the words women's liberation. What changes do I see in men's behavior? To be honest, I think that people treat you the way you allow them to treat you, whether there's women's liberation or not. If you allow people to disrespect you, they will disrespect you whether you belong to women's liberation or not. Me, I don't allow disrespect.

What do I really want as a woman? I want it all.

Claudia Jennings, Actress

Men changed for the better? Bullllll-shittttttt! Men are lying a lot more, and I'm not: I'm more sure of myself since the movement, I don't question myself half as much as a man does. I'm always on the soapbox lately about this subject and people say, "Hey, Claudia, get off the fem-lib soapbox," and I say, "Shove it up your ass." I have no time for male or female pretense.

What do I want? I want all the fairy tales: a man who is bright, and into his woman's work, a man who would support me emotionally as well as financially. I want somebody to pay the rent, so I don't have to be pressured when I go out to get a gig.

Sure, the sex lives of women have changed. Absolutely. Women speak to women much more openly nowadays--sort of encouraging one another, and finding out that we're not the only ones who aren't having orgasms. Women have always lied about sex, and many of them are still lying: Convention says that if you're married and you love the man, you have a great sex life. Well, that's bullshit.

Have men's sex lives changed? They (concluded on page 332)Women's Lib(continued from page 186) sure have. Because now they have to deal with the truth. Women who faked orgasms for years are now saying, "Hey, man, what can I tell you? It just doesn't make it. I love you, but it doesn't cut it. Now, either we're gonna work on it or something else is going to come down."

Men have been hit with that and lots of other things. It's a very confusing time for men. I wouldn't want to be a man right now. You know why? Because whereas they had it all wired before--all down to a pattern--nowadays they don't know what the fuck is going on.

Anne Murray, Singer

Some men have changed, and some pay only lip service and pretend. It's an individual thing: If a woman has authority and is terribly aggressive and shows it, nobody likes her. By the same token, nobody likes a man like that, either.

Women now can talk about sex like men have always done. They can sit around in the locker room and say, "Hey, I got it on last night."

Men's sex lives have probably changed, too. It might be a bit more exciting for men now, because the women are more aware: They're talking more, reading more, getting into it now. It was always said that the men were the ones who were always hungry, but the way I see it, everybody is. Everybody's starving.

Margo St. James, Founder of Coyote, a national organization of prostitutes

Yes, men have changed: They're much more willing to do the shitwork in the women's campaign than they were before--you know, carry out the garbage, clean the floor, cook, baby-sit, while the women are in the caucus rooms.

Men are changing in lots of ways; I'm doing a special training course for men right now, on female sexual potential, and I'm providing women guides for them. Most men don't have adequate sexual education. There was a poll taken, it came out in The New Sexual Etiquette for Women, by Patricia Holt, that said that only four percent of the men were adequate lovers and that only one percent were really talented. The other 95 percent? They got smothered, there was lack of information, they developed all these phobias and fears.

I enjoy sex, but I can take it or leave it. Nowadays, I value my privacy more and would welcome celibacy if it meant peace of mind. Generally, women are learning more about men sexually and are being more selective about sex and about how they spend their time with men.

Women don't want to live off a guy, with no escape, submitting to him all the time. We'd both like to be financially sufficient; that way, both could enjoy each other as equals. We want equal pay, we want no wars, we want a lot of stuff. You know what we want? We want as many orgasms as we can get.

Liz Torres, Stage performer

I don't think men have changed. I think they've become more aware, more informed. They realize that inequalities do exist. But that isn't changing men's behavior.

You know what I want from a man, how a man can keep me satisfied? I like to be respected and loved and looked up to. I like to share a life. I like a man to be as strong as I am, and as intelligent. And I'm no teacher: You get out of bed, you're gonna have to face this person across a breakfast table, and you're gonna have to talk. He's got to have some kind of line.

"Nowadays, I value my privacy and would welcome celibacy if it meant peace of mind."