Playboys New Age Primer

We are entering an age in which the line between science and fantasy seems to be fading rapidly. Over the past 20 years, reports from the international scientific community have transformed what once seemed myths--communication of mind to mind, the continuity of consciousness after death, interstellar communication, the likelihood that there is a Loch Ness monster--into real possibilities. These are weird and wonderful things, and they all add up to one big message: We can't say we've reached the bottom line on any theory of how the universe works.

So rather than get caught with your cosmic pants down while everyone around you is more confused than ever, we'd like you to check this space each month for reports from the fringes of human speculation and knowledge. We aim to amuse and entertain you with helpful information on 1001 strange and arcane subjects, ranging from instructions on how to travel in your astral body to tips on how to get the most out of the air you breathe. If there's a new age coming, we want you to be prepared. If there isn't, you can still be the life of the party. Blast off.

Space Watch

(This section is devoted to bringing you interesting useful, useless, relevant and irrelevant information on such big questions as these: Are they out there? Are they watching us? Do they visit us? If one meets one, what does one say? Are there credit cards where they're from?)

How to Recognize an Alien (Even if He's Wearing a Three-Piece Suit)

We've all seen and read various fanciful descriptions of beings from other planets, but Leonard Stringfield, UFO investigator and author (Situation Red, The UFO Siege), has compiled descriptions from people who've reported having either seen extraterrestrials or been abducted by them, and he's put together a composite of your basic UFO habitué. We suggest you cut it out and keep it in your wallet, just in case your car mysteriously stops in the middle of the desert on a warm summer night.

Appearance: Humanoid. Bipedal, with head, torso, arms and hands.

Height: Three and one half to four and one half feet.

Head: Relatively large for body size. Pear-shaped.

Eyes: Deep-set, slightly slanted, imparting Mongoloid appearance.

Ears: External ears lacking, but openings to inner ears are present.

Nose: Vague, only slight protuberance.

Mouth: Small slit. Appears nonfunctional for either communication or food ingestion.

Neck: Thin.

Hair: None to slight fuzz on scalp. Body hairless.

Torso: Small and thin. No navel.

Arms: Thin and long, extending to knees.

Hands: Thumbless, four fingers, two longer than the others. Webbing between fingers described by three observers.

Skin: Generally grayish. Tough texture.

Blood: Liquid present but no cellular constituents.

Gastrointestinal system: No alimentary canal. Anus absent. No food or water intake known and none ever seen aboard spacecraft.

Genitalia: Absent. No reproductive organs identified.

Should you happen to meet anyone, no matter how well groomed, who fits the above description, call us, so that we can set up a Playboy Interview.

Nothing new under the sun department

(This section is dedicated to all the witch doctors, alchemists, sages and old wives whose advice on a wide range of subjects has at first been dismissed by the scientific community, only subsequently to be proved meritorious.)

Go Sit in a Cave

In ancient textbooks on yoga, that venerable mystic discipline of the East, it's suggested that a student wishing to perfect his body and mind through breathing exercises should practice near a waterfall, in a cave or (best of all) in a cave under a waterfall. While it's obvious that pure air is better than polluted air, the proposition that there's more energy in one kind of pure air than in another would, to many people, seem specious, if not superstitious. But science over the past 20 years has proved that some air does give us more energy than other air. It's called negatively ionized air.

A quick crammer on ions: An ion is any atom or molecule that has gained or lost an electron (a teeny-weeny charge of energy, for those who slept through eighth-grade science).

A negative air ion is an oxygen atom or molecule that has gained an electron and a positive air ion is usually a carbondioxide molecule that has lost an electron.

Nature produces both positive and negative ions in abundance, but when it comes to feeling good, it's the negative ions that are important.

In a recent Russian study by D. A. Lapitsky and A. L. Tchijewski, lab animals were placed in a chamber with no negative ions; most died within several weeks. Next, Lapitsky's researchers put animals in a chamber with no simple oxygen but added only negative ions. The animals stayed healthy and active for several weeks. The researchers concluded that negative ions regulate our ability to use oxygen, and Tchijewski reported: "An organism receiving the cleanest type of air for breathing is condemned to serious illness if the air does not contain a small quantity of [negative] air ions."

How are negative ions produced? Well, the best generator is lightning, followed by ocean surf and waterfalls. Negative ions are also abundant in mountains and forests (all plants give off some ions). You'll notice that the highest negative-ion concentrations are in natural environments and if you suspect that the air in your air-conditioned office isn't so good, you're right. That's because of one or more of the following factors:

1. The surrounding grounded steel structure draws off any negative ions.

2. Central heating or air conditioning actually strips the air of negative ions.

3. Synthetics used in carpets, draperies and upholstery carry a high positive charge and absorb negative ions.

Our modern office, then, will often have a negative-ion count below 100 ions per cubic centimeter. Now let's categorize the effects of various ion counts in the air you breathe.

Next, here's a table of ion conditions.

So the old sages were right about where to find "energizing" air. We score it Sages 1, Science 1/2 (for being 2000 years late with the information).

Never-Ending Pleasure Department

(This section is reverently dedicated to the first laboratory rat that died from starvation because it couldn't stop pressing the little button that released electrical charges into the pleasure centers of its brain.)

The Serpent Strikes Again

The Orient has long been known as the home of mysterious secrets of passion and love. One of the most delightful is called "The serpent strikes again." This is an acupressure (pressure-point massage) technique--a kind of acupuncture without needles--that can be used by a man in good health to reawaken his "serpent of love," almost upon command. The effects of this technique are so--um--arousing that there are reports of new erections occurring within minutes of love's cobra's having struck its first nocturnal bite.

The special acupressure trigger point is located in the hollow on the outside of each cheek of the buttocks. To use it, first locate--then deeply massage--the tiny but pressure-sensitive spot. Being by clenching your buttocks together until the hollows sink in noticeably. Put the tip of your thumb, index finger or a knuckle in one hollow and relax buttocks. Now deeply goad that area until you feel a twinge of sensitivity--something like a toothache or pinched nerve--then massage in a deep, rolling manner for several minutes. Better: Let your Partner give the massage, as they do in the Orient.

The massage should be done on both sides of the buttocks (unless you discover that one side is more effective than the other). The feeling should lie between sensuous and uncomfortable, as a tender muscle might feel if it were massaged. Almost immediately, you'll feel a sense of relaxation in your lower abdomen, and a sensation like tension flowing out of your body (often leaving from the frontal part of your thighs). That is how you know you've found the right point. Shortly after that, you may notice the stirrings of an old, familiar feeling.