In Bed One Night

So one night he comes in from using the bathroom takes off his clothes stretches scratches himself puts on his pajamas yawns sets the alarm turns down the sheets crawls into bed fumbles for the light switch above him bumps something soft with his elbow which turns out to be a pale white-haired lady in a plain gray nightgown lying in bed beside him wha--?! he cries out in alarm and demanding an explanation is told she has been assigned to his bed by the social security it's the shortage she says the Ss not coming out just right her teeth he sees now in a glass of water on the night table private beds are a luxury the world can no longer afford she explains adding that she hopes he won't kick during the night because of her brother who has only one leg is ailing poor soul and is sleeping at the foot of the bed (this is true he feels him there sees him knobby old gent in a cloth cap and long underwear one leg empty pinned up to the rear flap) all of which since he has not heard about the world bed shortage takes him by surprise and with a gasp he says so to which the old lady replies in her prim toothless way that yes yes life in the modern world what there is left of it is not always easy young man it's what they call the progress of civilized paradox she's heard about it on the television but at least at least he still has his own bed has he not he's after all luckier than most naming no names (she sighs) even if it is only a three-quarter and a bit tight for five and--five!! he cries rearing up in panic five--! and sure enough there they are two more three in fact how did he miss them before a skinny oriental huddling down behind the old lady dishwater hands shifty eyes antiseptic smell quivering taut as a mainspring and on this side just arriving a heavy-bellied worker in oily overalls staggering toward the bed with a fat woman tottering on stiletto heels huge butt squeezed shinily into a tight green dress hair undone eyes wet their faces smeared with sweat and paint and cockeyed the--look Out!--both of them as they--crash!--hit the night table send it flying lamp water glass teeth and all upsetting the old lady needless to say who goes crawling around on the splashed bed on her hands and knees looking for the teeth spluttering petulantly through her flabby lips that woman's not allowed here it's not fair they said five! the worker paying no mind or too drunk to hear hauling off his overalls kicking them aside his underwear belching growling pushing the woman toward the bed cracking her big ass soundly when she hesitates making her yelp with pain not here Duke not with that old lady watching shut up goddamn you I don't ask for much the old lady is complaining still scratching about for her dentures justice that's all justice a little respect dignity a dress rips the worker blows a beery fart it's a hard thing growing old but I don't ask for any prizes--pwitheth she says--and look at that chink Duke look at his goddamn eyes bug what's he staring at but the worker just grunts irritably and shoves her roughly onto the bed and onto its erstwhile owner now too overcome by the well-meant outrages of a world turned to rubble and mercy even to move ah me! all this order he thinks as the worker plummets down upon them both like a felled tree and commences to fumble groggily for the bawling fat woman's seat of bliss (he could show him where it is to but if he doesn't know how to ask politely to hell with him) all this desperate husbandry this tender regulation of woe the woman on him weeping and groaning now ass high and soft legs flailing believe me says the old lady crankily still on her bony knees if I don't find my dentures there'll be the dickens to pay I mean (concluded on page 316)In Bed One Night(continued from page 151) it--my denthurth she says--it ain't fair complains the old man at the foot of the bed him having a woman all to hisself that ain't square ignore them Albert says the old lady don't encourage them she's not even supposed to be here I know my rights insists the old man and gets a foot in the face for them they's a law--splut! kaff!--he squawks disappearing over the foot of the bed which is now rocking and creaking fearsomely with the mighty thrashing about of the drunken lovers linked up on top of what on a different occasion might loosely be thought of as the host knocking his wind out whap whump oh Duke my god Duke gasp! Albert--? a sweet stink rising are you all right Albert? and true the pounding friction wet and massive giving him a certain local pleasure for all the burden of it but it does not console him what can? sunk as he is in the dark corruptions of nostalgia dreaming of the good old days get back up here Albert you'll catch your death oh christ Duke--slop! slap!--kill that--pant!--kill that chink Duke break his fucking neck pop his yellow eyes out yes alas those days of confusion profligacy ruthless solitude tears come to his eyes just thinking about them as the old man reappears at the foot crawling hand over hand the pin that was holding up his empty pants leg between his teeth the old lady remonstrating no violence now please the oriental crouching tremulous on the pillow by the headboard with a knife a gentle answer Albert turneth away--screams groans grunts the worker roaring in pain and rage oh my god Duke! but he wipes away the foolish tears angry with his own weakness forget those days they're gone and just as well he lectures himself as a pale woman enters with three runny-nosed kids clinging to her limp skirts there's been some mistake but we're awfully tired sir just a little corner--? yes forget those stupid times get some sleep and then tomorrow it's down to the social security for a new bed assignment a pretty lady maybe to hear his case Duke? report the losses tidy up wash the sheets out are you ok? say something Duke and lulled by the heavy rhythms of fucking and weeping the kids wrestling their mother whispering at them to settle down or the nice man will ask them to leave the old lady's gummy scolding he drifts off dreaming of a short queue happy accidents and wondering if he Duke? remembered to switch off the bathroom light aack! screw the cap back on the tooth paste now what have you done Albert oh no! thwallowed the pin--?!