The Ploys of Summer

There are two safe bets regarding summer vacation this year. The first is that any place you go will probably be very crowded. The second is that a vacation definitely will be more expensive this year than last. So if you intend to survive with nerves intact and wallet not held hostage, you'll need clever tactics and a flair for the unconventional. Our summer-vacation survival guide provides some of both.

Hooray, they're full

There are plenty of air fares that reward flexibility, and it's possible to save lots of cash when you don't have to arrive or depart at a precise time. Perhaps best of all is the conditional fare, for which you pay full fare and hope you don't get on the plane.

Eastern Airlines, the veteran in this field, calls its conditional reservation Leisure Class. It's designed to deal with the problem of no-shows on flights that are fully booked. (You can find out which flights are booked by calling the airline and inquiring about the availability of Leisure Class on the flight you're interested in.) The prospective passenger initially pays the full coach fare for a seat. He then heads for the airport, where he's treated (at his request) as a stand-by passenger. Everyone knows that there's a gamble involved in getting a seat, and the Leisure Class ticket purchaser genuinely hopes he doesn't make it. He is given a seat (in first class at times) only if some passenger with a reservation does a no-show. But if there is no seat available, the Leisure Class ticket holder gets all his money back--and a free, confirmed seat on the next available flight. Although chances are good you'll get on the flight you've booked, there's still a fair possibility you'll get to travel free and, after all, there's nothing to lose.

Hold that Freighter

Perhaps the most persistent of all travel dreams is the romantic notion of boarding a slow-moving freighter on its way to exotic ports. For a change, it's one that's relatively easy to gratify.

Traveling by freighter hardly provides a Love-Boat-beside-the-banana-crates atmosphere, but there are no crowds and costs are surprisingly low. That doesn't mean, however, that the level of creature comforts is something out of Mutiny on the Bounty. Cabins are usually the same size (or larger) as those on conventional cruise ships, and their location amidships assures a relatively stable passage. The number of nonworking passengers can vary from as few as four to as many as 60, but a dozen is about average. Since there are no organized distractions on board for passengers, anyone who is less than enraptured by the sea and the workings of ships could experience considerable boredom, so the best possible advice is to travel with a friend.

Freighter travel is perfect for laid-back types with plenty of time and the biorhythms to go with the flow of an erratic arrival-and-departure schedule. Food is usually an attraction, since the fare is intended to satisfy the hearty appetites of able-bodied seamen.

Costs run about half those of luxury liners. Figure a base of about $50 a day, depending on the length of a specific trip and its precise itinerary. For a first-timer, it's wise to try a freighter fling of relatively short duration--30 days or less--to discover just how your metabolism reacts to life aboard a working ship.

Sources and Resources: Few travel agents have much experience booking freighter passage, so it can be hard to find up-to-date data. But freighter travel is more popular than you might imagine, and there are outfits that specialize in it. The best of them are:

Pearl's Freighter Tips, Inc., 175 Great Neck Road, Suite 306B, Great Neck, New York 11021 (516-487-8351)

Air & Marine Travel Service, 501 Madison Avenue, New York, New York 10022 (212-371-1300)

TravLtips, 163-09 Depot Road, Flushing, New York 11358 (212-428-4646)

Freighter World Cruises, Inc., 180 South Lake Avenue, Suite 335, Pasadena, California 91101 (213-449-3106)

If you would like to do some research before calling about freighter bookings, here are some worthwhile references:

Ford's Freighter Travel Guide, available by writing to P.O. Box 505, Woodland Hills, California 91365 ($4.95)

Trip Log Quick Reference Freighter Guide newsletter, available from Air & Marine Travel Service, 501 Madison Avenue, New York, New York 10022 ($2 per issue)

TravLtips Freighter Bulletins, available for a $15 membership fee from TravLtips, 163-09 Depot Road, Flushing, New York 11358

Don't feed the Bears

This summer is likely to be the most crowded vacation season ever for U.S. national parks. Heightened domestic travel interest by Americans and what amounts to an invasion by overseas visitors mean that national-park space is going to be in particularly short supply in 1981. It also means that this might be the right time to take note of those parts of the park system that attract the greatest number of visitors and then stay as far away from them as you can in 1981. Here are the ten national parks most heavily visited in 1980, a good list to use as a guide to where not to be in June, July and August. As you'll note, they tend to be close to major metropolitan areas and heavy on historical significance--perhaps reflecting Americans' loss of mobility and Bicentennial-plus-five reawakening of patriotic interest.

1. Golden Gate National Recreation Area--California

2. Bandelier National Monument--New Mexico

3. Natchez Trace Parkway--Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee

4. Great Smoky Mountains National Park--North Carolina, Tennessee

5. Gateway National Recreation Area--New York, New Jersey

6. George Washington Memorial Parkway--Virginia, Maryland

7. Colonial National Historical Park--Virginia

8. Lake Mead National Recreation Area--Nevada, Arizona

9. Cape Cod National Seashore--Massachusetts

10. Valley Forge National Historical Park--Pennsylvania

Given those top ten as the sites to skirt this summer, where, then, to go if you crave an unstructured holiday among nature's bounty? Well, the National Park Service's wilderness areas draw substantially fewer visitors than the more developed national-park enclaves, and you might think seriously about focusing on the following somewhat wilder bits of terrain. Crowds, though hardly absent, are likely to be substantially less dense:

Badlands National Monument--South Dakota

Black Canyon of the Gunnison National Monument--Colorado

Blue Ridge Parkway--Virginia, North Carolina

Buffalo National River--Arkansas

Carlsbad Caverns National Park--New Mexico

Chiricahua National Monument--Arizona

Craters of the Moon National Monument--Idaho

Everglades National Park--Florida

Great Sand Dunes National Monument--Colorado

Guadalupe Mountains National Park--Texas

Gulf Islands National Seashore--Florida, Mississippi

Haleakala National Park--Hawaii

Hawaii Volcanoes National Park--Hawaii

Isle Royale National Park--Michigan

Joshua Tree National Monument--California

Lassen Volcanic National Park--California

Lava Beds National Monument--California

Mesa Verde National Park--Colorado

Organ Pipe Cactus National Monument--Arizona

Petrified Forest National Park--Arizona

Pinnacles National Monument--California

Point Reyes National Seashore--California

Saguaro National Monument--Arizona

Shenandoah National Park--Virginia

Theodore Roosevelt National Memorial Park--North Dakota

The Need to be Kneaded

One of the best ways to get away from large crowds is to head for a place that's so elegant and expensive that few other mortals can handle the tariff. The best oases of planned pampering used to be the exclusive property of overweight women--until the current fitness craze expanded to include such hedonistic delights as beauty treatments for men, massages that involve multiple muscles, and closely supervised diets and health seminars. Most of the more luxurious spa-cum-resort oases remain the exclusive province of the feminine set, but The Golden Door, in Escondido, California, now accepts men only during the first two weeks of March, June, September and December, and permits coed health happenings during the last two weeks of those months. The accent there is fiercely Oriental, with goings on focused within what appear to be the walls of a serene Japanese inn. The regimen of treatment also follows certain Japanese traditions--such as the communal bath (with a Western touch added in the form of pulsating waters). There are herbal wraps that leave you smelling like a eucalyptus tree, and the price for being turned into a perfumed, virile being comes high: currently, $2135 per week.

Less expensive, and sexually unsegregated, is the Door's just-south-of-the-border cousin, Rancho La Puerto, in Tecate, Mexico. Coed all year (but couples only for a two-week period, which in 1981 is September 13-27), the ranch emphasizes vegetarian cuisine. Rates for singles vary from $550 to $675 per week. Incidentally, spies tell us the ranch, with its high female-male guest ratio and surprising proportion of already shapely ladies, is a great place to score. Take vitamins.

Baby, you can Drive my car

If you have a valid driver's license and, again, a little bit of time, it may just be possible to get from here to there by driving someone else's car. Several companies (with networks of offices all around the U.S.) can ease the transportation problem for prospective travelers over 21 years of age by letting them work as auto transporters.

The cars to be driven are relatively new--and, for the driver's sake (and the owner's), each car is fully insured--and drivers are usually required to post a deposit of approximately $50-$200. In some cases, the driver also is responsible for the cost of gasoline, though some companies allow drivers to take along passengers to share expenses.

Here are some companies to check if you're interested in more information:

AAACon Auto Transport, Inc., 230 West 41st Street, New York, New York 10036 (212-354-7777)

American Auto Shippers, Inc., 225 West 34th Street, Suite 2001B, New York, New York 10001 (212-594-2690)

Auto Driveaway Co., 42 Broadway, Suite 1827, New York, New York 10004 (212-943-2414)

Dependable Car Travel Service Inc., 130 West 42nd Street, New York, New York 10036 (212-840-6262)

Nationwide Auto Transporters, (continued on page 160)Ploys of Summer(continued from page 157) Inc., 140 Sylvan Avenue, Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey 07632 (201-461-3660)

Couriering Favor

The theory is simple: You call the traffic manager at any courier service and tell him where you want to go and when you are available, and then pray they have a parcel for which they need an escort. Ideally, the dispatcher calls back with an assignment and the company provides a plane ticket. You usually don't even have to carry the package to the airport; it's taken there for you to have placed in the baggage hold. And upon arrival, you're met by a company employee to whom you turn over the baggage checks.

In practice, however, the erratic nature of this device is daunting enough to discourage all but the most flexible (and insolvent) would-be travelers. Not all courier services use free-lancers, but the courier method sure is worth a try.

Flexibility of destination will increase chances of striking a responsive courier chord. (Speaking a foreign language helps, too.) If you want to go abroad, just tell the man you want to go to Europe and let him pick your specific destination. Air fare is strictly one way, so you must be adaptable about your return trip. Local dispatchers schedule outbound journeys only, and their counterparts at the other end are responsible for scheduling a trip home. They may or may not come through.

So if you'll do anything to travel cheap, let your fingers do some fumbling through the Yellow Pages (check "Couriers" and "Messengers") and start making some calls.

The London connection

Although getting to London is relatively inexpensive, the problem is seeing more of Europe than just Great Britain. It's tough because intra-European air fares are the most expensive in the world.

To solve that problem, Britons use an extensive network of charter carriers--several of which own their own fleet of aircraft--that offer packages (sometimes including accommodations and some meals) for prices that are as little as 20 percent of the scheduled round-trip air fare. The accommodations can be lousy and the food even worse, but it's possible to purchase these packages, discard the land arrangements entirely and still have the pleasure of bargain air transportation.

Most travel agents in the U.S. don't know about or don't offer these England-originated packages, so you'll probably have to make arrangements on your own. That means contacting the British tour operators well in advance, so that all confirmations are in hand before you leave the States. A letter to any or all of the following British operators will get you a spate of offerings from which you can create an inexpensive European itinerary. All of them say they will deal directly with U.S. travelers.

Cosmos, 69-15 Austin Street, Forest Hills, New York 11375 (212-268-8088)

Frames Tours Ltd., 46 Albemarle Street, London WI 4EP, England; Attention: Dennis Carter (011-441-499-6050)

Laker Air Travel, 9-13 Grosvenor Street, London WI XOEE, England (011-441-493-5601)

Romanic Tours, 1315 High Street, Horley, Surrey RH6 7BH, England (011-44-2934-75961)

Thomson Holidays, Rochester House, Belvedere Road, London SE19 2HQ, England (011-441-653-8899)

Twickenham Travel Ltd., 84 Hampton Road, Twickenham, Middlesex, London TW25 QS, England (011-441-898-8221)

Flat Rates

As we just mentioned, cheap transatlantic fares can get you to London all right, but current hotel costs can send you directly to debtors' prison. One solution is to forget about conventional accommodations and look into programs that provide furnished apartments (they're usually called service flats in Britain) and/or country houses as places to put up. They are especially attractive to families or groups of two or three couples who'll enjoy the freedom, convenience and economy of having a foreign home away from home.

Prices vary from program to program, and for more detailed information, ask British Airways for its 1980-1981 booklet called "Business Services in Britain." Accommodations can be booked through any travel agent, and if yours is unaware of the program, contact the American wholesaler: Inquiline, Inc. If you live in Chicago or east, the address is 2122 Boston Post Road, Larchmont, New York 10538 (914-834-7742). West of Chicago, write to 1714 Orchard Drive, Salt Lake City, Utah 84106 (801-278-4677).

The British Tourist Authority also offers a free leaflet called "Budget Apartments in London" that allows travelers to make arrangements on their own. It's available free from the B.T.A. offices in New York City, Chicago, Dallas and Los Angeles.

Other U.S. representatives that deal in British apartment and house rentals are:

A.A.D. Associates, P.O. Box 3927, Amity Station, New Haven, Connecticut 06525 (203-387-4461)

Dial Britain, 1735 Eye Street N.W., Suite 718, Washington, D.C. 20006 (202-223-6492 or 800-424-9822)

Eaststone Overseas Rentals, 21 East 40th Street, New York, New York 10016 (212-683-9150)

Interchange Vacations, 213 East 38th Street, New York, New York 10016 (212-685-4340 or 213-271-0575)

Utel International, 119 West 57th Street, New York, New York 10019 (212-757-2981)

A very valuable reference, called "Self Catering in Britain," is a list of 15,000 houses, cottages, chalets, bungalows and apartments that have been approved by the British Automobile Association. It can be obtained from the British Travel Book Shop, 680 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10019 ($7.95).

This trip will Pan out for Sure

With gold prices having bounced between $400 and $800 this past year, there is a good chance for a dedicated traveler to turn a profit on holiday. You see, there's still lots of gold that hasn't been hauled out of Canada's Yukon Territory.

Another gold rush is very much in progress as you read this, as folks recognize the wisdom of re-examining proven gold-yielding grounds on the chance that there's an odd nugget lying about. On a more practical note, they're looking for old lodes that were once unprofitable to work but now make very different economic sense.

The headquarters for the current crop of gold groupies is around the city of Dawson, where just about a 45-mile radius has been staked out by "eightyoners" who are rummaging through old tailing piles--those gracefully fluted mounds of "barren" gravel that was once tossed cavalierly aside. Today's recyclers are finding that those mounds contain significant bits of ore; and while there's lots of large-scale mining going (concluded on page 192)Ploys of Summer(continued from page 160) on, most prospecting is still of the mom-and-pop variety.

If you'd like to become a miner, the requirements are relatively straightforward. You literally drive a couple of sticks into the ground where you want to stake your claim and then record the claim within ten days at the Mining Recorder's Office in Dawson. Within a year, you must prove to the authorities that you've taken at least $200 worth of ore out of the ground or you'll have to forfeit the claim and pull up stakes.

And even if you don't find much gold, think of the cocktail-party-conversation potential.

Question: "What did you do this summer?"

Answer: "Uh, well, we did a bit of gold mining. Staked a claim up on Bonanza Creek, near Dawson City, and...."

Loony Doin's

If all of the above still seems too tame, you might prefer to join some of the organized madness that routinely erupts around the U.S. landscape in summer. Here is just a small selection of communal insanities guaranteed to get participants committed.

June 6: World Posthole-Digging Championship, Boise City, Oklahoma. Men, women and children compete to dig the perfect hole. The event is part of the annual Santa Fe Trail Daze festival. Information: Chamber of Commerce, P.O. Box 1027, Boise City, Oklahoma 73933 (405-544-3344).

June 19--20: National Hollerin' Contest, Spivey's Corner, North Carolina. Left over from the days before telephones, when each farmer had his own distinct yell. Last year, a three-legged dog barked right along with the human hollerers. Information: Ermon Godwin, P.O. Box 111, Dunn, North Carolina 28334 (919-892-4133).

June 27: National Rooster-Crowing Contest, Rogue River, Oregon. Roosters from across the nation attempt to beat the 1978 record set by White Lightning--112 crows in 30 minutes. Information: Chamber of Commerce, P.O. Box 457, Rogue River, Oregon 97537 (503-582-0242).

July 23--25: Central Maine Egg Festival, Pittsfield, Maine. The festival committee persuaded Alcoa to manufacture and donate a frying pan ten feet in diameter (the world's largest), and then coaxed Du Pont into coating it with Teflon. The skillet warps easily, and the world's largest propane burner, which supplies the heat, does its job unevenly, so the ensemble is never going to win any prizes among fine chefs. But for cooking 3000 eggs at a cackle, you can't do much better. You'll also find a Chicken Flying Contest and the World's Largest Egg competition. Information: Central Maine Egg Festival, P.O. Box D, Pittsfield, Maine 04967 (207-487-3136).

August 1: 81st Annual National Hobo Convention, Britt, Iowa. Social Security and welfare have devastated the ranks of these free spirits, yet the event is still billed as the largest one-day convention in the U.S. Upwards of 20,000 people congregate to watch the parade of floats, bands and other units from all over Iowa, to listen to the politicians sing their own praises, to enjoy free platters of mulligan stew and to help select a king and a queen. What's the difference between a hobo and a bum? A hobo will work when necessary; a bum will not. Information: Chamber of Commerce, Britt, Iowa 50423 (515-843-3867).

August 12--15: International Banana Festival, Fulton, Kentucky. The twin cities of Fulton, Kentucky, and South Fulton, Tennessee, celebrate the area's role as "Banana Crossroads of the United States" and "Banana Capital of the World" with banana-eating contests, a banana-recipe cook-off and a one-ton banana pudding that serves 10,000. Information: International Banana Festival, P.O. Box 428, Fulton, Kentucky 42041 (502-472-2975).

"Cheap fares can get you to London, but hotel costs can send you to debtors' prison."

"Question: 'What did you do this summer?' Answer: 'We did a bit of gold mining.' "