Sex Stars of 1982

E.T.--The Extra-Successful: Agent "Swifty" Yoda tells us E.T. just may be in every movie of the Eighties. Want a sneak preview? OK, first tear along the perforations and separate the four cards on the opposite page. Now punch out the faces of those old stars. To really get into it, you might shout, "This looks like a job for (your name)!" when confronting Superman, or, "In your face, muthah!" while punching out Mr. T. If you mess up, go out immediately and buy another Playboy. Place the cards one by one over E.T.'s rugged good looks for our feature presentation. Flip each card for another star turn by E.T. Voilà (French for "Check it out")--the future of the movie business.

The way things are going, it won't be long until two of those contraptions up there on the big screen start screwing--and the next installment of Sex Stars will appear in Popular Mechanics.

Fortunately, as the sex stars of 1982 rallied to prove, we aren't there yet. But the public's imagination, if not its libido, was clearly aroused this year by E.T., a sexless and not even very handsome creature--more interested in going home than in carousing and cavorting--whose idea of a big time was popping a beer in front of the TV. From Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan to Tron, Hollywood's emphasis was on space-age machinery; sexy Harrison Ford's hot love interest in Blade Runner was--what else?--a robot. Much of what down-to-earth sex there was was played for laughs, as in the phenomenally successful, raunchy Porky's or, more gently, in Woody Allen'sA Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy and the offbeat Henry Winkler chuckler Night Shift.

Offscreen, however, sex stars were having a grand old time, maybe making up for all that blandness onscreen. One outstanding trend was the rash of May-December matings of older women with younger men (not discouraged, we're sure, by recent Playboy features on such 40ish and 50ish fireballs as Fran Jeffries and Vikki La Motta). Even sweet little Olivia Newton-John, everybody's kid sister, has turned 33 and taken up with Matt Lattanzi, ten years her junior; he's an actor-dancer whom she met on the set of her 1ast, lamented film, Xanadu.Cher, everybody's bolder, brassier big sister, at 35 found comfort with Les Dudek, 29, a guitarist on her Black Rose album. Lesley Ann Warren, also 35, hit big with Victor/Victoria,(continued on page 220) pleasing choreographer Jeffrey Hornaday, 25, who has lived with her for several years while gradually getting used to the fact that he's only 12 years older than her son by Jon Peters, who's still with Barbra Streisand.

Ursula Andress, 46, has a two-year-old son by Harry Hamlin, 30, and Michelle Phillips, 37, a new baby by actor Grainger Hines, 33. Neither of these mothers, incidentally, is married. Sexy Jackie Bisset, 37, leaped into the high-flying arms of ballet Star Alexander Godunov, 32, while handsome Maxwell Caulfield, 22, married 40-year-old actress Juliet Mills. Let's hope that her maturity will smooth the edges of Caulfield's juvenile ego binges; he had proclaimed himself a superstar even before his first big film, Grease 2, was released. It flopped.

Melissa Manchester, 31, married her stage manager, Kevin DeRemer, 27, while another thrush, 36-year-old Carly Simon, found a young honey in Al Corley, 24, of TV's Dynasty. In 1978, while married to James Taylor, Simon hosted the secret wedding of then-Charlie's Angel Kate Jackson to six-years-younger actor Andrew Stevens. Jackson later complained that she was too mature for Stevens, and that marriage is now a fling of the past, but this year, at 33, Jackson married again: The lucky fellow is businessman David Greenwald, who is the same age as Stevens.

At 24, fledgling Andy Gibb failed to hold on to Victoria Principal, 32; the breach sent him into a brief tail spin and a reported nervous breakdown, and too much cocaine, he later admitted, caused him to lose his voice and his job as host of Solid Gold. But the young are resilient, and he bounced back in a stage production of The Pirates of Penzance.

Surely, though, there must still be a young lovely out there somewhere who would appreciate the doting attention of a big spender 32 years her senior. Enter Pia Zadora, truly this year's blazing flash, who, if nothing else, proved that sex stardom can be bought. At 26, Pia is the bride of one Meshulam Riklis, 59, a millionaire entrepreneur who's been exceedingly helpful to her career. If she wants to do commercials, she does them for Dubonnet, a product of Seagram's, which he owns; if she wants to sing, she sings at the Riviera in Las Vegas, which he owns; if she wants to shed her clothes in the movies, she sheds them for Par-Par Productions, which he owns. Although doubtless coincidental, all this is undeniably convenient.

With hubby backing an all-out publicity campaign for Pia's performance in Butterfly, she even won a Hollywood Foreign Press Association Golden Globe award for best newcomer, beating the likes of Kathleen(Body Heat)Turner and Elizabeth(Ragtime)McGovern. Some suspected that the foreign writers, whose choices are often controversially askew, might have been influenced by Riklis' generosity--a notion denied on all sides. In any case, domestic critics were much less kind to Zadora's acting, and Butterfly fluttered quietly to the ground. But everybody agreed that Pia looked terrific with her clothes off, and she promises to return.

Although she doesn't appear to be, Pia is at least beyond the age of consent, which makes her a welcome relief from Brooke Shields, the underage untouchable. For a change, Brooke stayed out of trouble this year, causing hardly any fuss at all; she did, however, seek a New York court injunction to stop a photographer from exploiting nude photos taken of her when she was ten.

Shields had a clone who kicked up her own kind of daffy difficulty. Pretty Phoebe Cates teamed up with Willie Aames (from Eight Is Enough) in Paradise, a film that was suspiciously similar to 1980's The Blue Lagoon, starring Shields and Christopher Atkins--right down to plot and poster. Even Cates was quoted as calling Paradise a "rip-off," but a judge ultimately disagreed, rejecting a bid by Columbia Pictures to stop Embassy Pictures from releasing the Lagoon look-alike. Finally given the chance to see Paradise, the public just yawned and let the palm trees wither.

Cates got a better and far more original break later in the year in the sexy Fast Times at Ridgemont High, in which her amusingly explicit lesson on how to give head (later toned down) initially earned the picture an X rating. This cutie, incidentally, is the daughter of TV producer Joseph Cates and the niece of producer-director Gilbert Cates, whose credits include both Broadway and screen versions of I Never Sang for My Father; and her co-star, Jennifer Jason Leigh, is the daughter of the late Vic Morrow. All of which reminds us of just how fast a whole new generation of youngsters bearing familiar genes is coming onto the scene.

By now, of course, all those who hanker after gorgeous Nastassia Kinski must know she's the daughter of famed German actor Klaus Kinski. Although a fine actress, Nastassia has built a reputation on several teen romances with wellknown directors and a natural flair for onscreen nudity. She still lacks a runaway hit, suffering this year through the flop of One from the Heart and the marginally more successful Cat People. Dad, meanwhile, keeps perking along and, after 180 European pictures, recently moved to L.A. to expand his American career.

You might win more bar bets asking which famous film comic's daughter bared all in the prehistoric Quest for Fire. Pay off on Rae Dawn, offspring of Tommy Chong, who said he didn't mind the nudity but was glad she didn't do porn. The sweetheart of Neil Simon'sI Ought to Be in Pictures,Dinah Manoff, is the lookalike daughter of Oscar-winning Lee Grant.The Greatest American Hero'sWilliam Katt is the scion of actor parents Barbara Hale and Bill Williams; Timothy(Taps)Hutton is the son of the late Jim Hutton; Broadway-bound Maria Burton has quite a pair of parents in Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (who teased the tabloids this year with rumors of a resumed romance that didn't resume).

Young Griffin O'Neal starred in his first film, The Escape Artist, joining dad Ryan and sister Tatum in the pro circle. Griffin also added to his reputation by knocking out the tooth of a fellow trying to snatch a famous purse--one belonging to Pop's steady girl, Farrah Fawcett. (It's expected, by the way, that Farrah will become the kids' stepmom once she concludes a messy divorce fight with Lee Majors.)

Dolly Parton's little sister Rachel Dennison stepped into the TV version of 9 to 5, reprising the role that made Sis a hit in her feature-film debut. Meanwhile, Parton herself teamed with Burt Reynolds to pack audiences in for the rollicking musical The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. With him in his toupee and her in her wig, they both settled down to a long summer's gig.

Naturally, as with every Reynolds wrap, there were rumors that Parton was Burt's offscreen Dolly as well. But she insisted that their friendship was too good to screw up. Besides, she's been married for 16 years to Carl Dean, who tends the farm back near Nashville. Conceding that it's an odd and distant marriage, she still says it's worth staying faithful for.

Reynolds looked tired in Whorehouse, and it's no wonder. He's still cranking out more pictures than any other superstar--and chasing more women, the latest being Loni Anderson of WKRP in Cincinnati. She was preceded by L.A. TV co-host Tawny Little, who was preceded by Rachel Ward, Reynolds' co-star in Sharky's Machine, in turn preceded by Sally Field, who co-starred, etc., etc. (It's those etc.s that can wear a man out.)

Burt started all this, you may recall, with an appearance on the old TV show The Dating Game, on which a cute blonde starlet failed to pick him as the most desirable of three unseen bachelors. So here's another good trivia question that might pick up a few bucks at the neighborhood bar: What other handsome, mustachioed devil, currently rivaling Reynolds for the hearts of the ladies, was also a Dating Game contestant early in his career--and also failed to be chosen by the lady of the moment?

Sure, you knew all along it had to be (continued on page 295)Sex Stars(continued from page 220)Tom Selleck. Who else is as hot as Reynolds these days?

Although vaguely familiar from the Salem billboards, Selleck was virtually unknown until his debut in the CBS television series Magnum, P.I.--which started slowly, then suddenly exploded him into a heartthrob. Because of Magnum commitments, he had to turn down the fateful role in Raiders of the Lost Ark that subsequently went to Harrison Ford, but he may regain that lost ground with a similar part as an adventurous World War One pilot in the upcoming feature High Road to China.

Selleck has since 1979 been separated from but civil to his wife of ten years, actress-model Jacquelyn Ray. Otherwise, he contends he's too busy for romance, though he's been extrafriendly with Divorce Wars: A Love Story co-star Mimi Rogers, who herself is a good pal of pretty Kirstie Alley (the Vulcan newcomer in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan) and who will soon star in Blue Skies Again with Harry Hamlin, previously mentioned as the young father of Ursula Andress' child. One does need a program to keep up.

This year, as usual, one or two TV stars came to believe they were irreplaceable. For the past few seasons, these had been beauteous blondes; in 1982, though, it was John Schneider and Tom Wopat who thought a series, The Dukes of Hazzard, couldn't hit the road without them. When they were quickly replaced by two other hunks, Byron Cherry and Christopher Mayer, onlookers said it merely proved that the real star of the show was the car.

Box-office indifference to Making Love, Partners and Personal Best, three films that tried to take gays seriously, probably dealt a death blow to additional such efforts in the near future; most of the stars involved, however, emerged relatively unscathed. Kate Jackson, Michael Ontkean and Harry Hamlin received generally good notices in Making Love, as did Mariel Hemingway in Personal Best. (After a nice pictorial and cover for the April Playboy, Hemingway, coincidentally, went on to take the title role in Star 80,Bob Fosse's upcoming bio film about the late Playmate of the Year Dorothy Stratten.) Less charitable was the reaction to Partners'John Hurt and Ryan O'Neal. O'Neal seems particularly snakebitten these days, flopping also with So Fine and Green Ice.

Seriously heterosexual pictures fared little better, especially for those trying for a big break. Slinky Morgan Fairchild, a hit on Flamingo Road, couldn't get temperatures rising in The Seduction, even with a steamy hot-tub sequence. In Vice Squad,Season Hubley struck out again in a role close to the one that didn't work for her in Hard Core.

Foreign stars can usually be counted upon to be sexy any time they show up onscreen. Sultry Sonia Braga had a hit here with I Love You and is expected back soon, with Marcello Mastroianni, in Gabriela. American audiences, however, are still waiting to see Sylvia Kristel in Lady Chatterley's Lover and are wondering if they'll ever be introduced to Clio Goldsmith and her sexy performance as a retirement present in The Gift. Lovely Laura Antonelli was busy in Italy but lost the leading man in Passione d'Amore, her only memorable vehicle to make the Atlantic crossing this year.

Rugged Rutger Hauer added a European flavor to Blade Runner--again, as in Nighthawks, playing a smolderingly sexy villain--then went on to film Eureka and The Osterman Weekend.Mel Gibson looked terrific in black leather in The Road Warrior, establishing himself as an Australian sex star, though he's really an American.

Overall, sex paid off best when played for laughs. Low-budget Porky's grossed more than $125,000,000 with sheer raunch, though none of its boys emerged as an individual star. The Beach Girls, featuring Playmate Jeana Tomasina, who tinkered with the spelling of her name for screen-credit purposes, was a throwback to harmless nude high-jinks that grossed big. Humor even helped Julie Andrews, Lesley Ann Warren, James Garner and Robert Preston make a success of a gay theme in Victor/Victoria.

Somewhere in between, Richard Gere and Debra Winger clicked in An Officer and a Gentleman, with Winger riding Gere as well as she handled the bull in Urban Cowboy. That, however, was one of Officer's, few sexually explicit scenes, mixed in with lots of talk and exercise. Oddest of all, given its title, was Woody Allen's long-awaited A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy. Charming in many ways, the picture wasn't all that funny--and certainly not sexy except for the sheer attraction of Julie Hagerty, who will soon be reprising her wacky, wanton stewardess in Airplane II: The Sequel. Woody did get a romance going with Mia Farrow, and people remarked how much in Midsummer she had adopted the mannerisms of Diane Keaton, another Allen amour before she took up with Warren Beatty.

On balance, the big stars had a rough year. Although he won a directing Oscar for Reds, the film didn't take off as Beatty had hoped it would. Jack Nicholson got lost on The Border, while Richard Dreyfuss, in Whose Life Is It Anyway?, found that nobody really cared. Robin Williams still couldn't break away from Mork in The World According to Garp, and The Fonz still seemed to haunt Henry Winkler in Night Shift, though the picture did relatively well. Jackie Bisset and Candice Bergen went bust with Rich and Famous, while Steve Martin flopped with Bernadette Peters in Pennies from Heaven and again with Rachel Ward in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (though Ward picked up good notices; she's definitely a comer waiting for the right role). In real life, however, Martin and Peters were, for a time, a hot duo--as were Gilda Radner and Gene Wilder, who had lots to cry about together over the fate of Hanky Panky.

On the other hand, Sylvester Stallone can't lose when he plays Rocky, and Clint Eastwood can't lose when he plays Clint Eastwood, as he did in Firefox. Say the same, too, for Richard Pryor, who scored a double smash with Some Kind of Hero and Richard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip. Not surprisingly, sex was a big part of Pryor's concert film--at least verbally. Even when discussing his near-fatal brush with fire, Pryor drew howls explaining how the lower half of his body had fought to keep the flames away.

Speaking of stages, it got pretty steamy up there under the bright lights this year. Broadway went bonkers over bawdy Anita Morris, whose A Call from the Vatican number was a show--and heart--stopper in Nine. Clad in a see-through net outfit, Morris moaned and groaned, caressed her breasts and clawed the floor. Although Nine went on to win several Tonys, CBS would not let Anita perform on the awards show, contending that she was too orgasmic for the home audience.

The Great White Way was a welcome haven, too, for another of our favorite sex stars, Raquel Welch. When her film career hit a dead end--at least for the time being--Welch went live and wowed New York audiences in Woman of the Year. Across the country in L.A., Gregory Harrison was causing the matinee ladies to swoon when he removed his shirt in The Hasty Heart, showing the form that had made him popular as a male stripper in TV's For Ladies Only and as a regular on Trapper John, M.D.

Night and day, however, if you were looking for sex, you dialed in the soaps, where there were tubfuls of it. Given their limitations on showing sex, the soaps' creators are sheer geniuses when it comes to talking about it. The big event of the age, it seems, was the marriage of Luke and Laura on General Hospital. After that, the show began to sink, and the bride, Genie Francis, departed, while the groom, Tony Geary, could be found playing the Playboy Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, wearing purple tap shoes and doing dirty dances with the Smut Queens. Rocker Rick Springfield's steady appearance on General Hospital helped revive his slumping singing career, and even lofty Liz Taylor was not above a guest shot.

Without intense dedication, it's impossible to follow all the plot turns on the daytime serials. It's no easier to follow the private lives of their stars. To take just one example, sweet Cynthia Gibb, who plays Suzi on Search for Tomorrow, was going steady with The Blue Lagoon's Christopher Atkins, who subsequently took up with Gibb's good friend Lori Laughlin, from The Edge of Night. Over on Another World,Christopher Marcantel was romancing one 16-year-old oncamera and seeing another 16-year-old offcamera. And Guiding Light's John Wesley Shipp makes video love all day to one cast member, Jennifer Cooke, then goes home at night with another, Marsha Clark. Stay tuned.

Nothing on the soaps, though, could have come as a bigger shock than the real-life split of John Denver and his Annie, to whom he's been writing and singing love songs for 15 years of marriage. She blamed his heavy travel schedule, and friends were hopeful that he would again find his way home to Aspen.

But enough heartbreak already. Let's move on to something exciting, like Heather Thomas' nonbody in Zapped!, whose main plot centers on Scott Baio's ability to undress Thomas (and others) with his mental powers. It seems that Thomas has a budding TV career going as Lee Majors' side-kick on The Fall Guy, so, fearful of offending potential sponsors, she refused to do the film's nude scenes. Whereupon the producers substituted a double, with a disclaimer buried deep in the credits at the end. Like any good working stiff, Heather complained to her union; like any good union, it didn't do anything about it.

Speaking of bodies, there was also the starlet who complained that Bo was using hers. Now, surely, you didn't think we were going to get all the way through Sex Stars of 1982 without at least mentioning Bo Derek? Suzanne Somers we might forget, but never Bo, though she did remain fairly hidden, perhaps working to resuscitate her long-planned pirate picture. At any rate, one Susanne Severeid grabbed headlines briefly by claiming to be the body beneath Bo's face in those Tarzan, the Ape Man billboards. She ultimately backed down, saying she couldn't be sure.

Which just goes to show how odd life gets among the sex stars in Hollywood. Certainly, if I ever thought I had Bo Derek's body, I wouldn't forget it so quickly.

onscreen, they were a collection of nuts, bolts and critters from outer space; offscreen, they were the same vulnerable creatures of heaving flesh and overheated blood we've come to know and love