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Playbill ................................ 7

The World of Playboy .................... 15

Dear Playboy ............................ 19

Playboy After Hours ..................... 27

Reach out and zap somebody, and other miracles of telecommunications.

Books .................................... 30

Gifts to put under the tree; the latest from Philip Roth.

Music .................................... 34

Holiday hits for would-be Santas.

Television .............................. Tony Schwartz 44

Our reporter penetrates the inner sanctum of an Arbitron Home.

Movies ...................... Bruce Williamson 50

The Right Stuff is on target; finally, a fairly decent movie of a Stephen King novel.

Coming Attractions ..................... John Blumenthal 55

Shirley MacLaine as a hitchhiking nun? Read all about it.

Men .................................. Asa Baber 57

Women ................................... Cynthia Heimel 59

The Playboy Advisor ............................. 61

Dear Playmates ................................. 67

The Playboy Forum ............................. 69

Playboy Interview: Dan Rather--candid conversation .................................. 77

Broadcast journalism's number-one gun takes a few shots at local news and national news, defends 60 Minutes and describes the Machiavellian machinery behind the scramble for Walter Cronkite's throne.

The Trail of your Blood on the Snow--fiction ............. Gabriel Garcia Marquez 90

A young bride pricks her finger on a rose. Her young husband, unable to stop the trickle of blood, finds himself face to face with inexorable fate. A winner of the Nobel Prize for literature weaves a new web of horror and love.

How I Invented Playboy--humor ........... Buck Henry 92

We've kept the secret for 30 years, but now, for the first time anywhere, our illegitimate father reveals how he gave Hef the keys to the empire.

30 Memorable Years--pictorial ................... 96

From Marilyn Monroe right up to the present--from 1953 to 1983--we've been uncovering the best shapes of three decades. Here's a reprise of some of our greatest hits.

Remembering Tennessee--memoir ..... Truman Capote 110

Like his character Blanche DuBois, Tennessee Williams depended on the kindness of strangers and seldom received it. Now comes a kind reminiscence from one of the playwright's few genuine friends.

Provocative Period Pieces--pictorial ............................. 114

Another class in erotic-art appreciation, taught by Charles Martignette, one of its foremost authorities. No leering, please.

Playboy Magic for the Holidays ........................... John Railing 118

Tired of frittering away valuable party time watching the old folks wear lamp shades and the young folks do the pogo? We have four special tricks, courtesy of a certified magic man, that will turn those yawns into applause.

The Idea Killers--essay .................................. Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. 122

In which one of America's most censored writers strikes back with his most powerful weapons: sweet reason and the faith that--in this country, anyway--it prevails.

The Today Show--attire ....................................... Hollis Wayne 124

Four top-drawer designers offer the best of their spring lines so that you can make the best of yours.

The Great 30th Anniversary Playmate Search--pictorial ............................... 130

Penny Baker became our 30th Anniversary Playmate by acclamation, but we think you'll agree that the runners-up deserve just as much acclaim.

Lucky Penny--playboy's 30th anniversary playmate ........................... 138

There's really not much point in saying anything about Penny here, since you've already looked at the centerfold. The young lady defies description but, fortunately, does not defy photography.

Playboy's Party Jokes--humor................................... 150

The Toynbee Convector--fiction ...................... Ray Bradbury 152

The great time traveler has granted an interview at last, but it turns out the future may not be what it once seemed.

What are friends for?--humor ................................ Art Buchwald 155

One thing friends are for, apparently, is to help you bounce back when your marriage hits the rocks. Some of those bounces are bound to be untrue.

That was the Year that was--humor ............................. Tom Koch 156

You wouldn't play footsie with Tootsie in 1983? Well, all your heroes and villains get even verse in our annual one-finger salute to the year gone by.

The Eleventh-hour Santa--gifts............................. 159

At least an hour's worth of great ideas for the last-minute shopper.

Cunts--poetry .................................. John Updike 162

One of our greatest men of letters puts five of them together in a compelling configuration.

Star 80--pictorial .................................... 164

An attempt to bring the story of star-crossed Playmate of the Year Dorothy Stratten to the screen, with a new and improved Mariel Hemingway.

Dare to be Wrong--article ............................................. Roy Blount Jr. 174

Everyone's too cautious these days, says the uncautious author, yearning for the really good fuck-ups of yesterday. But perhaps it's not too late to learn.

Shadowboxer--article .................................... Mark Kram 178

Kram once compared the still-active Muhammad Ali to a cat trying to hold onto a windowpane. Now he finds the former champ almost fresh out of lives.

The Last Nude Photo of Marilyn Monroe--pictorial .......................... 181

Thirty years ago, she was the Sweetheart of the Month in the very first issue of Playboy. This month, the greatest sex symbol of all makes a final appearance in a never-before-seen photo.

What I've Learned about being a Man--memoir ................. Irwin Shaw 184

The author of Rich Man, Poor Man looks back over an eventful career, realizing that he has been both.

Cocktail Construction--drink ................................. Emanuel Greenberg 186

An on-site inspection of all the best blueprints, by our Pooh-Bah of potables.

Playboy's Playmate Review--pictorial ............................... 189

A loving look over 24 of the best shoulders of 1983.

What Fathers know Best--compendium ........................................ 205

Advice handed down to their famous children from some of the most notable fathers of this or any other generation.

A Guide for prospective husbands--fiction .................... Anton Chekhov 208

Just-translated wisdom for the ages for those who don't want to repeat all the mistakes of the past.

Bernard and Huey--satire ................................. Jules Feiffer 215

Playboy Funnies--humor ............................................... 218

Little Annie Fanny--satire ................... Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elder 279

Playboy on the Scene .......................... 283

Say "Howdy" to the new Audi; Personal Best; Potpourri; Grapevine; Sex News.

Cover Story

We organized a yearlong search party to find the apple of our dapper Rabbit's eye, and we're pleased to report that Penny Baker turned up. Shot by Contributing Photographer Arny Freytag, this month's cover opens the door to one of our most exciting issues ever. Whatever you flip for, it's probably here. And whether you prefer heads or tails, you're sure to come up a winner with Penny just by turning to page 138.