Playboy Interview: Goldie Hawn

Goldie Hawn is sitting at a table on the patio of The Frying Pan in Basalt, 20 miles from Aspen, talking with a friend about how much she likes living in Old Snowmass, where nobody bothers her or her kids.

But then a woman politely interrupts and asks Goldie if she'll sign her matchbook, telling her she dreamed the night before that Goldie invited her to her home in Los Angeles and they became fast friends. Goldie smiles and signs. Then the waitress comes over. "Goldie," she says, "the girls at the bar would like to buy you a drink." The notion tickles her. She's had drinks offered to her many times in the past but never by "the girls at the bar." How very sweet, she says. But her man, Kurt Russell, is expecting her home soon. He's cooking fresh elk meat for dinner back at their log-cabin home. And Goldie certainly doesn't want to hurt his feelings by passing up a good elk steak.

Goldie Hawn is 39 and is beginning to feel, oh, at least 25. She looks about that, too, with her large, clear blue eyes and incandescent smile. Her skin is smooth, her head small, and the muscles in her arms and legs show some definition from the aerobics and weight lifting she does each day.

At 116 pounds and 5'6", she doesn't exactly look like one of the most powerful people in the movie business, but looks can be deceiving. Behind that Tweety Pie twinkle and Betty Boop giggle stands what could be described as the real incarnation of Supergirl. For Goldie is Hollywood's true girl of steel, capable of turning a studio's fate around singlehandedly. And the people in Hollywood who are more concerned about the business than about the show are well aware of Goldie's strength.

Ranked among the big four "bankable" female stars (along with Streisand, Fonda and Streep), Goldie earned her stripes with "Private Benjamin." She was executive producer and star of that film, which has grossed $175,000,000 to date. She dropped her producing title in her film "Swing Shift," and it flopped. But she's back again with "Protocol," a film she spent seven years trying to get off the ground. Her name is, once again, twice on the marquee.

Yes, chain-smoking Goldie has come a long way from go-go dancing in cages in New Jersey dives. She has far exceeded her fondest dream--of being in a Broadway chorus line. People think it must have been easy, since she is a natural comedienne, but Goldie doesn't see it that way. She has never even thought she was funny.

Born in Washington, D.C., on November 21, 1945, she grew up secure on a cul-de-sac street in Takoma Park, Maryland, knowing all her neighbors. Her father was a musician who was often on the road, playing at Washington social affairs and in Las Vegas. Her mother had a head for business and managed a dancing school. From the time Goldie could walk, she danced. She still has the first check she ever earned as a professional--for $1.50, when she danced in "The Nutcracker" with the Ballet Russe de Monte Carlo. She was ten years old. When the ballet was over, she wasn't sure when to take her bow--so she waited until the prima ballerina took hers and walked out onstage to join her. There was a delighted roar from the audience.

When Goldie was graduated from high school, she began to teach jazz, tap and ballet at her mother's school. A year later, she got an offer to dance at the Texas pavilion of the New York World's Fair, and she never looked back.

After doing the cancan at the World's Fair, she worked for a few years as a go-go dancer in and around New York; then she went to Puerto Rico to dance for a few months and then to Las Vegas to be in a chorus line. But the life was seedy, so she decided to go to Los Angeles, where she hoped to find a steady job dancing in the chorus of a TV show. She landed a job after her first audition. It was for an Andy Griffith special, and a William Morris agent named Art Simon just happened to catch her act. He signed her up and almost immediately got her a 26-week contract for a new TV show called "Good Morning, World."

It happened so fast for her--suddenly she was an "actress," something she never dreamed of being--that she had "something like" a nervous breakdown. But she went on with the show, and when producer George Schlatter saw her, he thought she just might work on his new show--"Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In." He said she had three shows to prove herself, and Goldie proceeded to flub every line she was given. Schlatter told her not to change a thing, and a star was born. Her manager got a film deal during her second year with "Laugh-In" for a picture called "Cactus Flower," starring Walter Matthau, and a star was launched: Goldie won an Oscar for best supporting actress.

A year later, she left TV and made films with Peter Sellers ("There's a Girl in My Soup"), Warren Beatty ("$" and "Shampoo"), George Segal ("The Duchess and the Dirtwater Fox"), Chevy Chase ("Foul Play," "Seems Like Old Times") and Burt Reynolds ("Best Friends"). She starred in Steven Spielberg's directorial debut, "The Sugarland Express," went to Moscow for five days to research her part in "The Girl from Petrovka," went to Italy to make "Lovers and Liars," with Giancarlo Giannini, and appeared in the film adaptation of the play "Butterflies Are Free."

In 1980 came "Private Benjamin." Two writers approached her with the idea for a film about a Jewish princess who loses her husband on her wedding night and winds up enlisting in the Army. She liked the idea so much that she decided to produce it and, suddenly, Goldie Hawn became a force to be reckoned with in Hollywood.

During her first marriage, to dancer and director Gus Trikonis, Goldie struggled with the problem of her sudden rise and his struggling career. Their marriage lasted four years. Goldie then met Bill Hudson of the Hudson Brothers and they were married in 1976. That marriage lasted three and a half years and produced two children--Oliver, now eight, and Kate, five and a half. For three years, Goldie raised her children as a single parent. Then, during the filming of "Swing Shift," she met actor Kurt Russell and fell in love. They've been living together in homes near Aspen, the Pacific Palisades and Malibu for the past two years.

To find out more about this complex and disarming woman, Playboy sent Contributing Editor Lawrence Grobel (whose last "Interview" for us was with Joan Collins) to Colorado to talk with her. Grobel's report:

"The flight from Denver into Aspen on Rocky Mountain Airways was bumpy but scenic, as the prop plane dipped sideways, giving us views of the snow-clad Rockies. I was surprised to be making this trip, because Goldie Hawn had been reluctant for years to grant anyone an in-depth interview. Now, with a new picture coming out and a new man in her life, she was apparently feeling secure and confident enough to talk.

"Any preconceptions I might have had about interviewing a giggle-voiced daffy blonde were dispelled the moment I met her. Her voice is pitched lower than expected and her demeanor is friendly but thoughtful, even serious.

"On the porch of her cabin, I noticed travel books on the Himalayas, where she and Kurt were planning to do some camping, with Sherpas as guides. When I told her I had spent three years in the Peace Corps in West Africa and had traveled through India and Nepal, her eyes widened--Goldie is a travel bug--and she began to ask so many questions, I had to stop to remind her why I had come.

"Over the next four days, we talked for four hours at a session on an elkskin-covered couch in her living room and at a nearby secluded restaurant. It's impossible not to like Goldie. She's as down to earth and unpretentious as it's possible for someone in her position to be. She yells at her daughter to take a sewing needle out of her mouth, and when Kate doesn't listen, she screams, 'How many times do I have to tell you something before you'll listen to me?' Then, when Kate shows her the needlepoint she has done, Goldie melts. 'You did that? All by yourself? That's terrific, honey!'

"Her involvement with her children is total. Before another interview session at her Pacific Palisades home a week later, she told me to take my family along, because L.A. was having a heat wave and she thought my kids would be more comfortable in her pool while their daddy talked. So Kurt Russell entertained my wife and children by the pool as Goldie and I spent a few more hours talking in her living room. When we finished, she took me into the kitchen and insisted that I try her son, Oliver's, chocolate birthday cake. I grabbed a handful--somehow, you don't feel the need to use forks and plates around Goldie--and told her it was delicious. Just like Goldie."

[Q] Playboy: What do you think of being on the cover of Playboy?

[A] Hawn: I'll know when I see it. I figured, If you're going to do something, go all the way with it. As I posed, I kept asking myself, What am I doing sitting in a champagne glass posing for the cover of Playboy? I mean, I'm an executive! How many other producers would do this?

[Q] Playboy: After the enormous success of Private Benjamin, the more recent Swing Shift flopped. One was a comedy, the other wasn't. Now you're back, producing and starring in Protocol. Is it funny?

[A] Hawn: The first half of it is, but then it discreetly changes tone and starts to be about something. I'm real proud of it. It's about a cocktail waitress who gets mixed up in an international incident. It becomes a complicated plot about how three people decide to impress the President and effect better relations between this Arab state and the United States, because we want bases there. It's kind of a sweet satire.

[Q] Playboy: But not a screwball comedy?

[A] Hawn: Well, there are certain people within our industry who believe that Goldie Hawn can do more than just comedy. However, what happens is, because this is a business, I'm a commodity. Barbra Streisand is a commodity; Clint Eastwood's a commodity. And they want that commodity to pay off. They want the three cherries

[Q] Playboy: And what pays off the most in your case is--

[A] Hawn: Comedy. Making people laugh. The minute that person, that Goldie Hawn on the screen, does something that doesn't make them giggle, they really don't want to see it. The question is, if you want to grow and stretch and do different things, how do you get there? What's the route that you take? Because the truth of the matter is, when people see Goldie, they want to laugh.

[Q] Playboy: Every generation has its sweetheart. Do you think you may be America's Sweetheart today?

[A] Hawn: That's like what Dolly Parton said to me the first time we met. She came up and said, "You look like Poppin' Fresh. I just want to poke you." But it's a tough question. I'm sort of damned if I say yes and damned if I say no. More damned if I say yes. I guess if America needs a sweetheart, I'd fill the bill.

[Q] Playboy: You sound reluctant. It's a nice bill to fill.

[A] Hawn: Yes, it is nice. But it also is difficult, because when I feel aggressive and angry and I want to vent my anger, then that image is so strong that I'm afraid people won't like me. They're going to think, Oh, God, she's a cooze. Isn't she awful! Isn't she demanding! It took a long time to be able to really speak my mind because of everyone's saying, "Oh, isn't she cute, isn't she sweet, isn't she nice."

[Q] Playboy: It sounds as if you feel trapped in a pigeonhole.

[A] Hawn: Well, haven't I been pigeonholed?

[Q] Playboy: You were a while back, when you played the dumb blonde on Laugh-In.

[A] Hawn: I remember when women's lib started happening, this article came out that chopped me up for being this ... nitwit. I never looked at myself as a nitwit. I never looked at anything I did as vacant or dumb or bubble-headed. There was always a sensibility about what I did. Because someone has an optimistic outlook, because someone is hopeful, because someone likes to have fun, because someone is trusting and open, does not necessarily mean that someone is stupid.

[Q] Playboy: Wasn't it a Newsweek critic who wrote that if you were a dumb blonde, Henry Kissinger was a dopey brunette?

[A] Hawn: It's the other side of the totem pole. This person thinks I'm real smart; that person thinks I'm real stupid. I may really be somewhere in the middle.

[Q] Playboy: You became a force to be reckoned with after Private Benjamin. How much difficulty is there in the movie industry for a woman--especially a comic actress--to be taken seriously?

[A] Hawn: It's interesting: You always hear about girls' being snots, but you never hear about the guys. They just haven't accepted the fact that we have a brain and a perspective and a point of view and something to say, too, and that we should stand up and fight for it when we believe in it. It still amazes me. And it gets fatiguing after a while. We shouldn't stop fighting for our rights, but sometimes you just get so tired: tired of attitudes, tired of egos, tired of weaknesses.

[Q] Playboy: How much dancing do you have to do around Hollywood egos?

[A] Hawn: A lot. This is a business where people put themselves on show and everybody's got the answer. It's very rare to find people who can throw out their own idea for the sake of a better one--particularly people in omnipotent positions. And because it's such a fragile business, people seem to be protecting their egos and their status all the time. There's a lot of me, me, me in our business. There's a lot of cheating to camera or not wanting to take a back seat to so-and-so. I feel that the back seat sometimes is not a bad place to be. Being number one is not necessarily the greatest achievement. I would rather be second or third best, because the idea of being on top leaves you nowhere to go.

[Q] Playboy: You're pretty close to the top right now. When you reach it, then what?

[A] Hawn: There have been times when I've thought I would like to join the Peace Corps. I wish that I were more educated. I would like to be able to write. I wish that I were the kind of person who could stop for a minute and sit down and read. But there's always something I feel that I have to do. I would like to be able to travel, just throw a dart at a map and go there. But I can't do it. I have children. I have work. I have a lot of obligations right now. I guess I'm reaching a point in my life where I don't feel as inspired or as challenged. My father was a great violinist who played until he was 72, and then he gave it up. I said, "Daddy, why are you doing this?" He said, "Because I've gotten as good as I can get in this, and I want to do something I don't know how to do." Keeping that challenge going all the time is what keeps your life exciting.

[Q] Playboy: You dedicate Protocol to your father. Why?

[A] Hawn: Well, I did this movie because I grew up in Washington and was aware of the social scene there--not the political scene--and Daddy always came back with the greatest stories. I remember once when he was playing with Arthur Rubinstein--this is a story that I probably shouldn't tell--and they were performing at a New Year's party with a lot of high-ranking Government people in attendance. Daddy had to pee really bad, but he couldn't get off the stage--so he went behind the curtain and peed into his glass. When the evening was coming to an end, he walked off to the toilet and people stopped to wish him a Happy New Year. He must have toasted five people with his glass of pee as he made his way to the bathroom!

Daddy was very irreverent and very cynical. I also have a bit of the cynic in me. It gave us a great sense of joy and perspective at home. I don't care what crown a guy wears, I don't care if he's the President of the United States--the one person I was ever speechless around was Fred Astaire, because that's something I know about. And to me, he's the greatest dancer who ever lived. He's almost perfection. Anyway, you look at all these famous people and they're just as frail as we are, you know? They walk around with the gowns and the jewels and the highfalutin masks--there's a part of me that just wants to say, "Hey, cut the shit. Why are we pretending?" Daddy was like that. He was somebody who found great humor in the facade, in the pretense. He would cut through it with a knife.

[Q] Playboy: What about your mother?

[A] Hawn: A caring, loving Jewish mother. She ran a dancing school and we also had a watch shop. She had a green thumb for business. She worked all her life. A real businesswoman, the opposite of my father. He was an aesthete and would rearrange the shop so Mom would have to do it all over again from a commercial point of view. It was unbelievable what went on between them.

[Q] Playboy: Why did your mother name you Goldie?

[A] Hawn: I was named after the aunt who raised my mother. I never knew her, but Mom said, "One day I want you to put Aunt Goldie's name up in lights." Maybe that's why I'm doing this. To pay her back.

[Q] Playboy: Do you think about your father often since his death two years ago?

[A] Hawn: I think about him at least once a day. I miss him. He's very alive in me. He was very proud of me, but he never praised me without reason. When I left home, he said, "Don't you believe for one minute that what you are doing is real, because it isn't. The reason those show-business people are so unhappy is that they live in a fantasy and they start believing that they're as great as everybody tells them they are. Always keep your feet on the ground." He once played for Dinah Shore in Washington after I'd become well known, and she asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell me. He said, "Tell her to put the butter back in the icebox." He was a real down-to-earth person: "Put the butter back in the icebox, don't pick your nose in public and always remember who you are."

[Q] Playboy: Your father was creative in other ways, too, wasn't he?

[A] Hawn: He invented things--at least to his own satisfaction. He figured out how to get the smog out of Los Angeles: Drill a big hole in the San Bernardino Mountains, which would then suction it out. He set up a burglar system like a Rube Goldberg contraption in his apartment in Vegas--one thing was connected to the other, and so on. When you opened the door, out blasted the 1812 Overture, because my father, being a musician, felt this would just blow anybody out of the house and scare the shit out of them. He was very eccentric. He made a lamp out of his clarinet. He took the piano apart and put it back together again the right way. He had that kind of mind.

[Q] Playboy: What kind of kids did you hang around with when you were growing up?

[A] Hawn: I started getting into a rough crowd in the seventh grade. I was skipping school some of the time, smoking and wearing, you know, three pairs of socks to hide my skinny ankles and six slips under my skirt to give me hips, putting a lot of make-up on, stuff like that. I thought I was too thin and not voluptuous enough, because all the girls looked better than I did. I remember going to the doctor when I was 13 and saying, "I don't have any fat anywhere." And he said, "Goldie, all you need is skin over your bones, and as you get older, you'll be happy for that." I was never what I considered a very attractive girl. I developed very slowly. I watched the other girls' breasts grow, and mine just were not happening, till one day, I was lying in bed and I was feeling there, because I just had a little rise. There were, like, two bumps underneath, and I thought I had tumors--I was also a hypochondriac! I ran downstairs and said, "Mommy, feel these. What is this? I'm scared." And she said to my father, with a smile, "Goldie's budding." Haven't budded too much since then.

[Q] Playboy: Your sister, Patti, is eight years older than you. Were you the typical kid sister when she got old enough to date?

[A] Hawn: Oh, God, she had every reason to hate me, my sister. I thought Patti was just great. I'd watch her comb her hair and get ready for dates. I'd sit on her bed and watch her put perfume on. Then she'd go out and I'd do the same thing and pretend that I was going out. I'd use her perfume, which would drive her completely crazy. One of her dates came to the front door with chocolates and I took them, said "Thank you" and went into the bathroom and ate them. I used to imitate Patti in front of her boyfriends before she came down the steps. Now, do you want to kill this person or what? I'm sure she wanted to throw me out the window.

[Q] Playboy: How were your school grades?

[A] Hawn: Not very good. When I was in the second grade, we had to color the fruits in their right colors, but I colored them all yellow. The teacher said, "Don't you know that an apple is red and an orange is orange?" I said, "Yes, but I like yellow." [Laughs] I was in the lowest reading group in that grade, the Purple Balls. I thought it had to be the best group, because I was the only one in it. Talk about optimism!

[Q] Playboy: Were you ever influenced by anyone when you were young? A movie star?

[A] Hawn: No. Oh, OK ... only Elvis. He made me feel sexy when I was 12. I remember going fishing with Daddy, and he had his classical music on and I said, "I'll never like that rock 'n' roll: I love classical music." And he said, "Good for you, kid." A year later, I discovered Elvis: Don't Be Cruel, Hound Dog. My God, suddenly I felt like a real woman. Something happened to me--I got it. Daddy was completely out of his mind. His little girl began doing exactly what she'd said she'd never do. It was "Take that lipstick off" and "Your skirt's too tight" and "Turn that radio down." Well, the neatest thing happened finally. One night, I went to dinner and my plate was turned over. Underneath it was a 45 of Get a Job. That was my dad's way of saying, "It's OK, kid."

[Q] Playboy: How did Elvis' death affect you?

[A] Hawn: I wrote a poem when Elvis died. I was hurt, I was shocked. It was painful for me, because I saw what happened to him, which is why I never wanted to be a star in the first place. He was the personification of my fears, and he abused himself so much. I wrote a poem about a sparrow: [From memory]

The sparrow doesn't sing.

Sorrow has clipped its wings.

How lightly he was perched

Upon the icy birch.

A lover shot a dart

Right through his tender heart.

His stiffened body lies

Beneath the sun-filled skies

To make reminder of

To care for those who love.

It was my catharsis. It might be just the shittiest poem. It sounds like a child wrote it. But it's what I felt.

[Q] Playboy: Did you ever meet Elvis?

[A] Hawn: I met him once when I was on Laugh-In. I couldn't wait to meet him. He came over to me and mussed the top of my head and said, "Do you know what you look like?" And I was smiling away, thinking he was about to say how great I was. And he said, "You look like a chicken that's just been hatched." [Laughs]

Of course, there was the other side, too. I was in Vegas once as a headliner--which is one of the things I'd like to forget about--and I stayed in Elvis' suite. He let only a few people stay up there, and I was one of the lucky ones. It was quite something. He had shot just about every chandelier in that place. There were a lot of bullet holes in the ceiling that they patched up, as well.

[Q] Playboy: What was the first stop on your way to headlining in Las Vegas?

[A] Hawn: When I got out of high school, I thought I would dance. There weren't too many jobs in D.C., so I worked for the recreation department, teaching children. Then I had my own dancing school with about 50 students. I was 17 and was doing quite well. I had all the makings of a good ballerina, but at a very young age, I decided there was no money in it; it all seemed so limited because of time, income and sacrifice. So I switched to jazz dancing, which I had a lot more fun doing and got paid better for.

[Q] Playboy: Didn't you tour in summer stock around that time?

[A] Hawn: Yes. Oh, God! [Rolls her eyes, Goldie style] That's when the most embarrassing moment of my life happened.

[Q] Playboy: What was that?

[A] Hawn: I peed onstage. [Giggles] I was in the chorus of Kiss Me Kate. We were in Springfield, Massachusetts, and one of the actors was playing a strong man. I was in a tutu, but the strong man couldn't find his loincloth at the last minute, so he showed up in a girl's leotard! I laughed so hard I peed down my legs. It was visible from the light booth, so you knew everyone had to be going, "God, what's happening to this girl?" I didn't run off the stage, though; I stuck it through.

[Q] Playboy: By then you'd already left home to dance at the 1964 New York World's Fair.

[A] Hawn: I was a cancan girl at the Texas pavilion--the hardest work I've ever done. But it was $180 a week, and that was a lot of money.

[Q] Playboy: Which led to the exciting world of go-go dancing?

[A] Hawn: Right.

[Q] Playboy: Did you like the feeling of being able to turn men on?

[A] Hawn: Absolutely! I mean, God, if I don't feel I can turn a man on.... That's what makes the world go round.

[Q] Playboy: But that's not how you felt about your go-go dancing as time went on.

[A] Hawn: No. I moved up to New York. I would go to seedy places in the New York area on a Greyhound bus and dance on tables, with drunken men whipping out their hoo-has. One time, I fainted right on a table. It was the seediest bar, with a jukebox, and I was dancing on a three-legged table. The guys were yelling, "Put another quarter in and make her dance." Well, the guy who owned the place had gotten completely drunk, and the barmaid had hot pants and wanted to close the club and go next door. It was chaos. There was one guy there among all the truck drivers who had a suit on and he seemed so nice, so different. As I was dancing, I was looking at him and rolling my eyes as if to say, "God, can you believe this?"--thinking he was with me. I turned my back, did a little shake and then turned around, looked down and he was ... having himself a good time. That's when I fainted.

[Q] Playboy: Masturbating?

[A] Hawn: He was masturbating. I fell right off the table. I went to the barmaid and said, "I want my money. I want to go home." She said, "The boss is drunk in the back, you'll never get it." I waited until two A.M. and my go-go agent didn't come--I had a go-go agent; isn't that funny?--so I asked two truck drivers to drive me home. I rode to New York from New Jersey between two guys in a Mack truck. That's what I did to earn my living.

[Q] Playboy: Did you ever meet anyone who wasn't a sleaze when you were a go-go dancer?

[A] Hawn: A few bartenders. Period. And almost Huntington Hartford, who was sitting at the bar when I was dancing in a cage. I was really into showbiz and selling myself, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I was dancing in this cage and I completely freaked out--because I was smiling and selling and nobody cared. I looked down and there was a guy who had pressed up against the cage, and it was really disgusting: His nose was all out of shape. When I got out after my time was up, the owner came up to me and said, "I'd like you to meet somebody at the bar, Huntington Hartford." I didn't know who he was and said, "I don't do that." He said, "That's why you're hired." I said, "No, I was hired to be a go-go dancer at $97.50 a week; that's what I'm paid to do. I don't mix at the bar." And he said, "You're fired." I said, "Goody-goody."

[Q] Playboy: So you went back to New York?

[A] Hawn: I had an experience when I was brand-new in New York. I was going for a modeling job when a man picked me up on the street, saying, "You have a very unusual face." If he had told me I was beautiful, I would have known he was full of shit and walked away. But he said the right thing and he gave me a whole line of bull. He said, "Al Capp, the cartoonist, is casting parts for the movie version of Li'l Abner and has a wonderful character called Tenderleif Ericsson, and you seem like the right girl for this. Have you ever acted before?" And I said, "Yes, I did Romeo and Juliet." So I got into his Cadillac, thinking, This is great! I'm driving down Amsterdam Avenue in a brand-new Cadillac convertible; my mother and father will never believe this! He said to me, "You have to be very nice to Mr. Capp, because he can do a lot of good for you." I was really excited.

Well, he primed me for this visit for about two weeks, telling me how I would earn all this money and become a big star. My initial thought was, God, I'll be able to put wall-to-wall carpeting in my mother's house. So I learned my lines and went to this apartment, very nervous. The butler came in and said, "Mr. Capp would like you to pour the tea. He always likes his ladies to pour the tea." I sat there waiting for Mr. Capp. And he thundered in with his wooden leg. He had great presence. Very deep voice. "Goldie, I heard so much about you. I understand that you are a very nice girl. You're going to have to work very, very hard to get this part." He was in his bathrobe. I said, "Mr. Capp, I'm a dancer and I know what it is to work hard." He said, "Good. Now, would you stand up and start reading." So I read very loud. He said, "Goldie, speak softly for the cameras, because they can hear you." I was sucked in. I believed this man really wanted to help me. Then he told me to go across the room and pretend his eyes were the camera and take the dangling orange beads that I had hanging from my neck and put them in my mouth and act like an imbecile. So, like a jackass, I took the beads and put them in my mouth and acted like an imbecile.

Then I started to get very nervous. I smelled something coming. He said, "Would you walk to the mirror and lift up your skirt, 'cause I think you can play Daisy Mae." I was very proud of my legs; it wasn't something I was shy of. So I lifted my skirt. He said, "Higher." I went up an inch. He said, "Higher." I went up another inch. It finally got to the point of no return and I said to myself, "That's it; it's not going any higher." He said, "Come and sit next to me"--at which point he had completely exposed himself. And this thing was staring at me!

I looked at it and started to shake. Then I threw the script down and did what any nice Jewish girl who was going to grow up and marry a dentist would do. I said, "Mr. Capp, I would never get a job this way." He said, "Oh, I had all of them, all the movie stars. You'll never make it in this business. You don't have anything; you're nothing." He started to put me down and I cried, running out of his apartment.

[Q] Playboy: Nasty story. Was that the end?

[A] Hawn: Almost. The next year, almost to the month, this young, nice-looking Jewish man met me on the street and said, "Excuse me, I just have to stop you. You know, you have a very special look, and there's a man by the name of Al Capp; do you know who he is?" I started to scream! I was on Eighth Avenue. I said, "You're nothing but pimps for this man! Get away from me!" He said, "No, please, I'm not, I want to send you a script." I said, "Send me a script and send me a contract." He said, "Please let me buy you a hamburger." I said, "OK." I mean, I got a lunch out of that, so that's pragmatism.

[Q] Playboy: You were pretty badly exploited during that period of your life.

[A] Hawn: A woman is exploited all the time. My life those two years when I was trying to make it in New York as a dancer--the number of times that I was accosted, followed, lied to, manipulated, used--you couldn't make a movie out of it, because no one would believe it. If I was too open, it was taken the wrong way. And when you work your way up as a dancer and you get a little bit successful, it doesn't matter; you're still being used in some way. And when you finally become successful, you're manipulated in other ways--people are always figuring how they can use you, how to get close to you, what it can give them. The only guard against it is knowledge.

[Q] Playboy: Does it still go on today?

[A] Hawn: I can't stand the bullshit! I can't stomach it. I usually smell it. I went to a restaurant with someone I knew, thinking it was a nice family experience. The next thing I knew, he was talking about a movie project. I said, "Let me tell you something. I think you're full of shit. I will not allow friendship in any way to buy my talent, which is a commodity. You want to talk to me about business, you call me during business hours." That's how I feel about it. I don't like it.

[Q] Playboy: Is this America's Sweetheart talking? The girl with the golden giggle?

[A] Hawn: I went to an astrologer once. He said, "People think they know you. There are so many parts of you that no one will ever know you completely."

[Q] Playboy: Do you believe in that stuff--astrologers, psychics?

[A] Hawn: I've been interested in areas in life that are unexplainable. I was raised a Jew, but I went to Catholic and Presbyterian churches and studied Hinduism. All religions have fascinated me. But the unknown is a fascinating field. I was touched by Shirley MacLaine's book [Out on a Limb]. The topic is all iffy, and a lot of people think it's kind of silly....

[Q] Playboy: Have things happened to you?

[A] Hawn: Something happens to me when I get into an old house where I don't feel good. I get lightheaded and dizzy. That's happened to me enough times to make me realize I'm feeling a kind of energy that is not good. This happened to me in a house that I almost bought. It was a beautiful house, but I heard this voice saying to me, "It's a tragic house, don't buy it; tragedy, tragedy." I asked a friend to check it out, and he did. He said, "There's a lot of tragedy that has gone on in that house. Two children drowned in the pool, an invalid who lived there committed suicide, another owner lost all of his money. Eddie Fisher bought the house for Liz and they broke up." Another time, I was in a hotel in Paris, staying in the Oscar Wilde suite. I was sitting with my sister and family, and we were having a glass of champagne and started to laugh about Oscar Wilde's dying in that suite. We were being a little irreverent and--I'll be damned--the bottle, which was half full and sitting firmly on the table, went right over on the counter. I said, "Why are we doing this?"

[Q] Playboy: Have you ever visited a psychic?

[A] Hawn: When I was about 20, I went to a psychic to find out what my romantic destiny was going to be. She opened the door and said, "Oh, my dear, you have stardom written all over your forehead. You're going to be a very big star." I thought, Great, but what's going on with the guys in my life? I befriended her until she died. I even took care of her financially and got nurses for her.

[Q] Playboy: Returning to your early career, when you left New York to go to L.A., did you do it for the traditional reason--to become an actress?

[A] Hawn: No, I didn't go to L.A. to be an actress. I ended up dancing in a chorus of a Frankie Avalon play called Pal Joey in Anaheim, thinking that was as much of L.A. as I'd ever see.

[Q] Playboy: You never dreamed of Hollywood?

[A] Hawn: No, never. If I ever dreamed of anything, it was to go onstage in New York as a chorus dancer. The idea of being a movie star was completely out of the question. So from Anaheim, I went to dance in Las Vegas, where I did four shows a night, go-go stuff in the lounge. It was really rough. All I really wanted was to get a steady job on something like The Jerry Lewis Show as a dancer. That would have been Utopia: Find a guy, get married, finished. I thought of getting an act together and going on the road, and I called my dad from Vegas and asked him what I should do. As a musician, he had bused and trucked all over the U.S., and he said, "Goldie, it's a lousy life. Think real hard about it." Something clicked, and I decided to stop. I left Vegas at six A.M., escaped to L.A., where I auditioned for an Andy Griffith special and got it. That's where Art Simon, an agent for William Morris, saw me. He thought I could do something else. He sent me up for a part in a show called Good Morning, World, and I had a 26-week guarantee as an actress. Suddenly, I was an actress. It was very bizarre.

[Q] Playboy: Was that when you suffered a mental collapse?

[A] Hawn: I can't really call it a nervous breakdown, but when I got the job on Good Morning, World, I went back to visit in New York. So much had happened to me, and it was something I'd feared. I didn't want it to affect my life, I didn't want it to change my personality, I didn't want to be any different from the way I was. But after getting this part and being promoted in this TV series, which nobody had yet seen, I was starting to feel strange, because there was a lot of tsimmes over nothing, as far as I was concerned.

Yet, there I was at the Hilton, which was not a place I could ever have afforded to stay, a bottle of champagne on my table and autograph hounds who didn't know me from Adam calling me up. I started to lose my sense of balance; I was in a new world. I went back to my old haunts, telling people the good news but feeling different from them. I was trying very hard to hold on to who I was. My reality was not what I thought it was. It was changing. People's idea of me was changing. Then I went home to my family, and even they were impressed and excited. It was a dark area for me, a time of confusion. It was the most frightening thing that ever happened to me. I was unable to walk into a public place without throwing up. I had tremendous psychological symptoms. What was so scary was that I had no walls to touch. I was all on my own, I was just beginning, the rise to success had just started.

[Q] Playboy: That sounds similar to what happened to Barbra Streisand, who always used to arrive late at parties in her honor and run to the bathroom to throw up.

[A] Hawn: Yes, it's very similar. However, Barbra was a much bigger star when she started out. She was huge.

[Q] Playboy: So you threw up less?

[A] Hawn: [Laughs] I did. I threw less up. But I went down to 90 pounds, couldn't eat. When I got back to L.A. and continued with the TV show, I used to go home and make tea and sit by myself in this ugly round chair and knit. I wouldn't eat any dinner. I was living alone. I started painting a little. It was a very introspective and very self-centered period of my life.

[Q] Playboy: So you entered analysis?

[A] Hawn: Yes. I did it for seven years. It was a great learning process, very enlightening. Even though to most people on the outside, my career seems to have come easy, I know how hard I worked.

[Q] Playboy: Do you think that because of the analysis, you have all those fears and uncertainties kicked?

[A] Hawn: No. I mean, God, sometimes I go up on the ski lift and I start to freak out and I don't know why. I'm afraid somebody's gonna grab the bottom of my legs and pull me out.

[Q] Playboy: Still, your identity crisis notwithstanding, you became a household nameon Laugh-In. How did that happen?

[A] Hawn: George Schlatter came onto the set of Good Morning, World and saw me. And Billy Wilder called him and said, "You better get this girl, because she could be pretty great." I met George and remember sitting in an enormous chair and thinking, What's so interesting about me? I mean, what can I offer you? I don't do shtick, I don't have a routine, I don't tell jokes, you don't want a professional dancer on your show. Nevertheless, he tried me out for three shows and gave me all this straight stuff to do. But when I read the cue cards, I was so nervous I got mixed up and started to laugh, "Oh, please, could you start over again, please?" There was George in the booth, watching me and saying, "Not on your life! Keep going, Goldie." And so I got more flustered and my character grew out of that--an extension of my real reaction to my own frailties.

[Q] Playboy: How did the crew get you to laugh spontaneously?

[A] Hawn: I put everything out of my head. Also, I never looked at the script after the first reading, so I wouldn't know what my lines were going to be--and they'd change the cue cards pretty often. When that red light on the camera came on, I forgot everything I knew, including my name, and I was able to re-create this girl, week after week. It was also tuning into that part of my personality that enjoys making a mistake.

[Q] Playboy: Lily Tomlin had to sue to get out of Laugh-In. How did you get out?

[A] Hawn: My manager was very intelligent. I was signed for three years on that show. During my second year, I went off and did the movie Cactus Flower and won this award andit was all a big deal. . . .

[Q] Playboy: An Oscar usually is. Did you feel you deserved it?

[A] Hawn: It was my first movie. I was up against some great performances. I was in London, making a picture with Peter Sellers. If you want the truth, I was so sure that I wasn't going to win it that I went to bed that night in London forgetting that the Academy Awards were scheduled. I got a call at six A.M. "Goldie, you won!" "Won what?" "The Academy Award!" I immediately called my mother and we cried. So, yes, it was a big moment. However, I went to work the next day. And my price did not rise on my next movie.

[Q] Playboy: How was Walter Matthau to work with in Cactus Flower?

[A] Hawn: He called me Goldala. To him, I was like a child. He was amazingly clean. Ihad a cold, and he came onto the set with a Lysol can and sprayed everything, including himself. God forbid that he should get sick. But he was fun to play with.

[Q] Playboy: And what about Peter Sellers in There's a Girl in My Soup?

[A] Hawn: I loved Peter very much. He was such a fine and delicate and, at times, neurotic spirit. It was like balancing a friend on the fine point of a needle, because he was thrown off balance by anything and everything. He also had one of the great comedy senses of all time, understanding what was funny. On this film, we had terrible problems with the director. I just crossed it off as a bad day at work. But the tensions revved Peter up to the point that he was unable to function. To me, a movie is a movie and, Christ, I'm just thankful that I get to make my living this way. To him, it was more than that. He crossed into his work. He was a great master. Unfortunately, it mastered him.

[Q] Playboy: You've worked with a lot of actors and directors since then. What are your favorite films?

[A] Hawn:Sugarland Express, Benjamin . . . and Shampoo, which I can't really call my film, but I learned a lot from Warren [Beatty]. I watched his dedication. He was very tough. Warren thinks not once, not twice but three times before he does anything. I like people like that. He also does a lot of takes and I don't. There was a time when I did 50 takes and was completely drained afterward.

[Q] Playboy: You include The Sugarland Express, but didn't some people consider that an unsuccessful comedy?

[A] Hawn: Certain people consider Sugarland Express a comedy. I never considered it a comedy--never, ever, ever. To me, that was the most dramatic piece I've ever done. I never ham it up. I always look for the reality within the character or a scene. Sugarland Express was a great artistic endeavor as well as a film that I had thought would be widely received. It was a great disappointment to me.

[Q] Playboy: That was Steven Spielberg's first film. Were you nervous about working with such a young, inexperienced director?

[A] Hawn: I wasn't nervous about him at all. I was new, so I felt like we were just abunch of kids down in Texas having a great time. And Steven was just great. He loved what he did; he was enthusiastic, and I trusted his vision.

[Q] Playboy: Could you foresee the kind of incredible success Spielberg would have?

[A] Hawn: No. Nor could most people. Steven's got a great mind, a great connection with fantasy, with what people want to see.

[Q] Playboy: How many good directors of comedy are there today?

[A] Hawn: You see my right hand? Less than each finger, I swear. Woody is great. [Lets out deep breath]

[Q] Playboy: Is that why an actress such as Streisand resorts to directing herself, because she knows what's best for her?

[A] Hawn: Barbra is very right. The more directors you work with, the more you realize that a lot of them aren't as good as you had thought they were. It's not that I know everything or that Barbra knows everything; it's just that after a while, you get so disappointed having to face the fact that you basically are stuck. As long as you're not directing the movie, there's not a whole lot you can do about it except scream and holler and get a bad reputation. In the final analysis, once the movie is shot, you have only so much footage, and usually it's whatever the director has shot. If he didn't see it, he didn't shoot it.

[Q] Playboy: Is that what happened with Swing Shift, which Jonathan Demme directed?

[A] Hawn: I felt that picture lacked humor. The focus was not right. I couldn't follow anybody's story all that well. I didn't know who to root for in that film. There were areas that I knew weren't working that I would talk to Jonathan about, but he was a little worried about the movie star's coming in and taking over, which I didn't want to do. In order to ease that tension, I was really laid back to make him feel more at ease and to give him the freedom to create. I don't think Jonathan's a bad director; I just think this wasn't the right piece for him. It should have been funnier.

[Q]Playboy: So the fault lies with him?

[A]Hawn: I have to blame the captain of the ship; yeah, I do. On the other hand, I just worked with Herb Ross on Protocol. He's the best actor's director I've ever worked with. He's very intelligent, and he allowed me freedom and also guided me. I never felt he was manipulative. It was so far the most fun I've ever had on a job. Howard Zieff was also a wonderful director for Private Benjamin.

[Q]Playboy: Since you were executive producer on Benjamin, how did the dynamics of producer Hawn's telling director Zieff how to handle actress Goldie work?

[A]Hawn: It's a real schizophrenic experience. It's very, very difficult when you have those two hats to wear, because they are diametrically opposed. An actor is malleable. A director wants to feel he can mold his actors, point them in a direction, wind them up and let them go. The producer is the one with the firm hand, who says, "No, don't turn left; turn right"--the one who basically says, "You're losing the line of the story here; this is not the moviethat I bought, that I hired you to direct. Let's keep our focus right; let's remember what the story's about."

[Q]Playboy: Will you direct yourself?

[A]Hawn: I do not want to give a year or 15 months out of my life and my children's life and my man's life for a movie. Not now. I want to do it when I can have fun with it. So my answer is yes, I would love to direct a movie. And I'm going to wait until the children get older.

[Q]Playboy: So everything comes after your personal life, then?

[A]Hawn: Yes. I'm consumed with my home life, with my children, with Kurt, with my mother and my nephews. When it comes down to it, the most important thing to me is the amount of time and love that I can give to those people. So when I get a call about a breakfast for Gloria Steinem, I have to decide whether I want to have breakfast with my family. I feel I lose when I don't have breakfast with my family.

[Q]Playboy: Do you want to talk about your two past marriages and what happened?

[A] Hawn: Who really cares? Who wants to open themselves up and explain why this or that didn't work? Who even knows why?

[Q]Playboy: Counting Kurt Russell, have there been just three men in your life?

[A] Hawn: I would say that. I've been married twice before. I am, right now, experiencing something wonderful and I hope I always will be. The others are history.

[Q] Playboy: Do you think a man's ego suffers when his wife is the breadwinner?

[A] Hawn: Some men cannot deal with that. Literature, fairy tales, everything we've ever heard has been about how the man has gone out and built the house and killed the cow and has done all that stuff to keep his family alive. That translates today as how much money he earns for his family. And when a gal comes along who gets more than he does, it's a problem for him; it's an imbalance of power.

[Q] Playboy: That imbalance was evident when you paid your first husband, Gus Trikonis, a $75,000 settlement to end your marriage. Do you think it was fair that you had to pay?

[A] Hawn: Experience in life brings wisdom, ideally--and forgiveness. When peoplesplit up, there are a lot of emotions on the table, and we do and say things that we're sorry for. One reason I hate the marriage system is that it's a business--or it becomes one if it fails. I would never take money from a man if I were leaving him or he were leaving me. I'm not constructed that way. I'll reopen my dancing school if I have to. As long as I can pickup trash in the street and earn 50 cents an hour, I'm going to do it and work my way up from there. I don't like debts or handouts. So I don't have any respect for men or women who take money from each other. Yet I have, in both marriages, ended up losing money. Twice burned. However, I can't walk around with a big chip on my shoulder. I can only know what to do better the next time.

[Q] Playboy: Gus said you owed him an apology, because you've said he asked for alimony and that's not what happened.

[A] Hawn: Well, I will publicly apologize: He's absolutely right; there was no alimony.

[Q] Playboy: Are you pessimistic about long-term relationships?

[A] Hawn: I haven't seen too many work. I like to think that I have one ahead of me.

[Q] Playboy: Do you worry about it?

[A] Hawn: Not anymore. When you love somebody, you look at him sometimes and think, God, I'd die if something ever happened to you or if you left. I'd be devastated. And that's not such a bad feeling. One shouldn't be so afraid of that, because a lot of times, people don't get involved with that kind of deep love because they're so afraid of losing it. So they lose it. At least they had it.

[Q] Playboy: And right now--

[A] Hawn: I just love Kurt so much. He is who he is, no matter what. He doesn'tchange his ideas to suit the company he's in. The guy doesn't have an ounce of bullshit in him. He's got his feet planted firmly on the ground. I like his value system. He's just about the best father God ever created. And he's devoted, he's kind, he's got a magnificent sense of humor, he's smart, he's talented and very levelheaded. I have trouble spending a lot of time with people who aren't as pragmatic as I am.

[Q] Playboy: Will all this gush in print embarrass him?

[A] Hawn: No, because I tell him every day why I love him. How awful it must be when you love somebody and you don't know why.

[Q] Playboy: How does Kurt feel about your producing as well as acting?

[A] Hawn: He says, "Hey, you're a great race horse. You don't want to stay in a stall. Race, go, work your gifts, make it happen. Do the best you can do, make as much money as you can make, make the marks you want to make." He's all for it.

[Q] Playboy: And how do you assess his career?

[A] Hawn: I think Kurt is the only male star in his early 30s who personifies a man in the movie sense of the word--romantic, strong, smart. And he has an amazing versatility. He can be funny, scary, mysterious; he can make you cry. His range is vast. I think he has tremendous longevity.

[Q] Playboy: Do you ever get jealous when he's making a movie?

[A] Hawn: Of course. The two sides of it are, I want to be the most attractive thing in his life; but that's just insane, because there are a lot of beautiful women around and he's probably going to work with at least half of them. On the other hand, I know what we have. I know the fun we have.

[Q] Playboy: Do your children want you to marry him?

[A] Hawn: Yes.

[Q] Playboy: Why don't you?

[A] Hawn: That's nobody's business. I mean, that's between us. We're sitting on the same couch. It's just something that we choose not to do right now.

[Q] Playboy: Have you thought of having a baby with him?

[A] Hawn: We're considering having one. We go back and forth.

[Q] Playboy: Would you drop out of the business if you had one, as you did when your first child was born?

[A] Hawn: I don't feel now that I have to. I'm in another stage of my life right now, where I want to do other things. So if I got pregnant, I might sit down and write a short story or finish my script. Or I might learn more about photography, which is a great passion of mine. I would use that time to grow.

[Q] Playboy: Are there any people you'd like to work with?

[A] Hawn: I'd like to work with Meryl Streep. With Jack Nicholson--I like the way Jack works. He does what he wants; he's a freethinker. He's brave. Let's see. ... Robert Redford. Redford and I actually tried to get something together and he got involved in something else and so did I.

[Q] Playboy: What's the story behind your doing a picture with Streisand?

[A] Hawn: It's being written. Where it's at now, we are sisters from different parents. It's not clear enough for me to talk about it.

[Q] Playboy: Will she direct and you produce?

[A] Hawn: No, I don't think either one of us needs those distractions. We have enough distractions as it is.

[Q] Playboy: Is a good comedy more difficult to pull off than a good drama?

[A] Hawn: Comedy is harder to do. It's very hard to make people laugh. It's like a souffle: If it gets overdone, the soufflé crashes. That's how delicate comedy is. Comedy is like music. I remember working with an actor who couldn't get the scene, couldn't get the timing. So I beat it out on my hands. It was like percussion, so he could understand the arch of the scene and the power that it had to have. It's as if I hear the beats in my head.

[Q] Playboy: Be more specific.

[A] Hawn: OK, here's an example of how you can destroy or create a moment by timing. When I kissed Armand Assante under the street lamp in Private Benjamin, he was telling me about himself and I was very hesitant about being with him. When he finally said, "And I'm Jewish," they cut to my scream, to my orgasm. Now, that is a funny cut. However, when it was first cut, it was not funny at all, because there was too much space between "I'm Jewish" and the orgasm. And those few millimeters of a second were the difference between whether it was funny or it wasn't. Because if you've got "I'm Jewish" ... beat ... beat ... arrghh! or "I'm Jewish," arrghh!--see, it has to come right on top of the line. That's an exterior example of what goes on internally when you hear a scene. Another one was in Seems Like Old Times, which was all timing. With Neil Simon, you don't want to miss a beat. When Chevy [Chase], as my ex-husband, dressed as the butler, brought out the food and I suddenly recognized him, I had to hyperventilate. Well, how do you do that on the right beat to make it funny? How long does it take before you've taken too long? I'm still not happy with the way I did it; I think that I started too quickly. I should have waited.

[Q] Playboy: Do you always know when you've done it right?

[A] Hawn: Yes, because it's like a good symphony. It's just satisfying, and you feel it. If it isn't, there's something that shrivels up inside you.

[Q] Playboy: Who makes you laugh?

[A] Hawn: Woody Allen. I don't know him, but I like his films, because they're about something. I like to see what's going on in his brain. Eddie Murphy can make me laugh. He has great physical comedy, a great sense of his body when he's working. When I was young, Jerry Lewis made me laugh. I was once thrown out of the movies for laughing so hard at him.

[Q] Playboy: What about women?

[A] Hawn: Barbra Streisand makes me laugh. So can Joan Rivers.

[Q] Playboy: Have you ever done The Tonight Show with her?

[A] Hawn: No. I don't think it helps movies, so I don't do that show anymore. I haven't been on in years. But they haven't even extended the invitation.

[Q] Playboy: You worked with Burt Reynolds in Best Friends. Is he funny off the set?

[A] Hawn: That's what I found so attractive: He really is funny and he has a fantastic sense of humor, even about himself.

[Q] Playboy: Do you look forward to playing older character parts?

[A] Hawn: Not really. I look at myself on the screen now and say, "Oh, God, do you see that? Isn't it awful? Look at my chin; it's just hanging there." If I had a knife, I would go right up to the screen and cut it out. Of course, the person I'm sitting next to doesn't even see it.

[Q] Playboy: You seem like a woman who will age gracefully.

[A] Hawn: I do have this quality that is very childlike. But how long can it last? How long can you be cute? My career is kind of an interesting happening: I perceive from people that they don't really want that to change. So that sort of takes me out of the actress category, in a funny way, and puts me into the personality slot.

[Q] Playboy: Of the films you've done, which would you like to erase from the archives if you could?

[A] Hawn:Dollars[$]. I didn't like my character or what I did with her. It was just a totally unthought-out, unconscious performance. I remember one scene in which I felt very manipulated. That was when I had to look at the money for the first time, in the safe-deposit box. The director said, "When you look at this money, I want it to be an orgasmic experience for you. You've never seen this amount of money before and I want it to be just like you're having an orgasm." Well, I felt like I wanted to dig a hole as deep as I possibly could and get in it and maybe crawl out the other side, because it was as if I had all those people on the set there suddenly watching me have a private moment. If I were to do that scene today, I would say, "I'm sorry, I just won't." But then, I didn't have the guts.

[Q] Playboy: You have a cute image, as you say, but do you consider yourself a sexy woman?

[A] Hawn: Yes, I consider myself a woman who enjoys her sexuality.

[Q] Playboy: Are there differences between a man's and a woman's sexuality?

[A] Hawn: By nature, men are more promiscuous. For them to go out and get laid doesn't mean very much. And they can get it anywhere, between three minutes to a couple of hours. It has nothing to do with love. A woman is not as promiscuous; she is more discriminating. To me, sex is not something you just want to throw away or give it away to an empty experience or one where you feel yucky after it's over and all you want to do is get out of there and pretend it never happened. Empty nights, empty encounters are damaging to the soul. Just because a man has something that sticks out doesn't mean he's got to put it anywhere and everywhere.

[Q] Playboy: Is that the basic difference: that a man protrudes and a woman doesn't?

[A] Hawn: I'll probably get blasted by every feminist in the world, but the truth isthat a woman receives the intrusion--or the welcome intrusion, however you want to phrase it. She does open her doors for entrance if she so desires, and there is something very female about that. It's female, the way we put our arms around a person we love and the way we let him in. I just love to be able to do that. That's a great expression of my affection. I sound very old-fashioned; I really do. As I'm listening to myself, I'm thinking, God, I can't believe this girl!

[Q] Playboy: What you're saying is that you like sex--and that's not so old-fashioned. Women didn't admit it so publicly in the past.

[A] Hawn: No. It's a terrific and beautiful thing.

[Q] Playboy: What about the difference between men and women--where does it lead?

[A] Hawn: Well, if a man decides to have a quickie, he can then go to the nearest washbasin and scrub it clean and make it all new again. Girls can't necessarily do that. They walk around knowing things are going on in there. Now, I'm not talking about venereal disease; but while I mention it, I'm glad I'm not on the market, so to speak, because it's real scary now. Real scary. That's one of the most awful realities. A lot of people have been indiscriminately fucking, and this is sort of what happens. If you do too much of one thing, something eventually is going to come back and slap you in the face. Somebody's going to have to pay for it. Obviously, there's only one way to pass venereal disease, and that's by fucking.

[Q] Playboy: But you don't really buy that Jerry Falwell type of thinking, do you, that V.D. is retribution for too much fucking?

[A] Hawn: No, but a lot of promiscuity can end in unsatisfactory sexual relationships. It makes you feel less good about yourself. If you start to layer yourself with things that you're not so proud of and start building what we call armor, I think it's more difficult to get to the source of your real feelings, emotionally and physically.

[Q] Playboy: Does sex get better with age?

[A] Hawn: Well, for boys it's not supposed to, is it? For girls, it usually gets better.

[Q] Playboy: Does Kurt know about this?

[A] Hawn: I feel like I'm being cross-examined here. It's so great. You've got all your notes. It's like giving a deposition.

[Q] Playboy: If we'd had longer to prepare, there'd be more research notes.

[A] Hawn: If I'd had longer to think about it, I wouldn't be here.

[Q] Playboy: Aw, come on. It hasn't been that bad, has it?

[A] Hawn: Oddly enough, over these days, I've learned to trust you. You're just obliged to ask certain questions because this is Playboy. But you've been very respectful.

[Q] Playboy: Are there publications you distrust?

[A] Hawn: I would never speak to Penthouse. (concluded on page 108)Goldie Hawn(continued from page 93) That's a difference between Jerry Falwell and me--he does interviews for Penthouse, I do them for Playboy. [Falwell did not knowingly consent to an interview in Penthouse.] By the way, I have a lot of respect for the people in control at Playboy for staying clean of all that stuff with Vanessa Williams. That was dirty business. I don't like Penthouse's scruples.

[Q] Playboy: Do any other magazines offend you?

[A] Hawn:People. The editors asked me if I would do a cover and I didn't want to and they took a picture and used it anyway. For all the time I've given them in the past, that didn't show good scruples. I mean, they're going to use you anyway, so what's the point?

[Q] Playboy: We've seen you flare up. How easily do you get sentimental?

[A] Hawn: Very. I cry easily. I cry for happy things, for sad things, for things that have nothing to do with me. I cry because I can look at television and see horrible things that are going on and feel guilty because I'm not doing anything about it. Or because I can't do anything about it, you know? [Pauses] I say "You know" a lot.

[Q] Playboy: We know.

[A] Hawn: I know. [Giggles] It's so disconcerting. I've got to remember not to say "You know," because when you read it, it interrupts the train of thought. You know?

[Q] Playboy: We know.

[A] Hawn: See. [Laughs] Oh...hang myself!

[Q] Playboy: Have you ever been into drugs?

[A] Hawn: I was exposed to drugs when I was in New York, but I've always been afraid of them. I didn't like the way people behaved on them. I'm a doer. I like to wake up in the morning with the sun. I don't like artificial stimulants. Sometimes I have a glass of wine; sometimes I get drunk, just like everybody else. But I don't like drugs. They give a false sense of omnipotence. A lot of those drug experiences in the Sixties were group experiences--getting high together, dropping out together, living in communes together. I always maintained my singularity. I marched down my road, taking classes, working out, taking voice lessons, learning how to deliver a line. I always had a purpose--the road that most of my peers took was not my road. I was good at knowing what I was good at.

[Q] Playboy: Did you know what you were bad at?

[A] Hawn: Math. In my little pinhead, math is something that I've never done well. I panic when I look at numbers. I also have a tendency to change words.

[Q] Playboy: You're dyslexic?

[A] Hawn: Dyslexic. My daughter has a little bit of that, too. It hasn't stopped my growth or my thinking process. But I always remember numbers backward, you know. You-know-you-know-you-know!

[Q] Playboy: Is there anything in your field of expertise--comedy--that you can't do?

[A] Hawn: Yes. I cannot deliver a joke. I can dance around it, I can set it up, I can react to it--just don't give me the joke to tell.

[Q] Playboy: What about politics--are you involved?

[A] Hawn: I prefer to keep my political feelings to myself. Actors politicking, I don't think we do our politicians good. Sometimes we defeat them.

[Q] Playboy: How about issues such as the E.R.A.?

[A] Hawn: Equal rights is very important and pretty fundamental.

[Q] Playboy: How about abortion? Do women have the right to decide?

[A] Hawn: Absolutely.

[Q] Playboy: Do the Right-to-Lifers bother you?

[A] Hawn: Very much. That's an infringement upon our rights as individuals, and that is not what our Constitution promises us.

[Q] Playboy: Prayer in school?

[A] Hawn:We never said prayer in school. I'm certainly religious in an eclectic way; I believe in a Higher Being. But you go to school to learn the A B C's. Religion should be in the home. I'm not going to send my children to a school that has mandatory prayer. I don't think anything should be shoved down their throats.

[Q] Playboy: A while ago, you had dinner with Eileen Brennan, who played the tough captain in Benjamin. After the dinner, she was hit by a car right in front of you and you went into a deep depression. Can you talk about it?

[A] Hawn: It was the most frightening moment of my life. She is a woman whom I have really loved since Laugh-In days. We had a kinship that was unexplained. I felt something was not right about that evening and couldn't get her on the phone to cancel, because I had the wrong number. I was an hour and a half late. I felt something bad was going to happen, like an accident. We had a beautiful dinner together, and when we walked out, I got into my car and she had to cross the street to get to hers. This car was going much too fast, the street lights were out, and it happened. She fell on her face; she broke her legs. It's just terrible to see a stranger hurt in any way, but when it's somebody you love as much as I do her...it's the worst experience I've ever had. I just started turning in circles, saying, "No, no, no, please, no."

[Q] Playboy: Did you think she'd been killed?

[A] Hawn: I was afraid. The ambulance came, and I stayed with her all night. To this day, when anybody is walking with me on the street, I hold their arm; I don't want them to get away from me. But Eileen is a very special human being. She pulled through with a lot of strength and tenacity and belief.

[Q] Playboy: Chevy Chase used two words to describe you: endurance and resilience. Apt?

[A] Hawn: He came close. I'd add curious.

[Q] Playboy: What satisfies you?

[A] Hawn: Simple things, like having a day that's been full and balanced, so that last 30 minutes before we go to bed, I have the clarity of mind and spirit to look over the day and feel good about it; that I didn't cram in too much, that I gave as much as I could give, that I was as honest as I could be to the people who mean something to me or whom I'm doing business with, that I gave time to my children. Then the whole sphere of my life makes me feel very satisfied.

[Q] Playboy: Is there any one moment that you can remember as being fully satisfying, outside of those with your family?

[A] Hawn:[Pauses] Yes, but it has nothing to do with work. It was during a trip to Africa, when my friend and I ran into a group of six of the most beautiful African men I'd ever seen. They had on red robes, were carrying spears and were beautifully decorated. I exchanged jewelry with one of the men. They were Rendille tribesmen. When they asked us for a ride, we said yes and they crammed into the back of our Land Rover, all six of them on their haunches. And the minute the car started to pull out, they started to sing. And, oh...they sang...it was like music from the spheres. Their harmonies, their intervals are different from ours. I tried to sing along with them and broke up laughing and it was the most joyous moment--if I could ever think of a moment when my soul felt it was in flight, that was it. We couldn't talk, and the only communication was through music or laughter. And if you talk about humanity, how to break through bad feelings--humor and music must be the way. They bring out the best in the human spirit.

[Q] Playboy: You say you haven't necessarily gotten the most fulfillment from your work. Then tell us one last thing: Would you put your own money into a Goldie Hawn movie?

[A] Hawn: I wouldn't put my money into anything to do with the movies.

[Q] Playboy: You wouldn't?

[A] Hawn: There's no such thing as a sure bet. I mean...you know?

"There are certain people who believe Goldie Hawn can do more than just comedy. But this is a business, and I'm a commodity.

"I always maintained my singularity. The road most of my peers took was not my road. I was good at knowing what I was good at."